Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush and am not making any money from this. And I do not own Romeo and Juliet, either.
It hurts. I have never experienced so much pain in my life, I can not take it much longer. My mind says I need to move on but my heart knows it is impossible to do so without Juliet, I can not go on without her. My heart was beating long before I met her but once she'd come into my life, it beat with purpose. I've been alive without being alive, Juliet was the breath I had needed to fully live.
Until I'd met her, I had only heard what love was, never understanding how an emotion could change your life for the better. Juliet, my sweet Juliet showed me what love was, making me feel like my life was finally complete. Her smile, her laugh, her kisses, they all gave me a reason to want to be a better man. I wanted to change the world, starting with my family and friends. Their endless fighting had gone long enough, it was time to end it. With Juliet by my side, I felt like we could do it, start a new and better life for us all.
But life is cruel. My beautiful Juliet was taken from me without a word of warning. How could this have happened? Nobody deserves to feel such pain, such loss is too great for any one man. I tried fooling myself into thinking I could move on, I could continue living without my precious Juliet. Lies, all lies! I can not go on, I can not continue to live in torment, knowing the love of my life will never smile for me, again! With this letter, I let you all know, it is with a broken heart I leave this world. Do not weep for I will be with my beautiful Juliet, once more. Goodbye, my friends.
Carlos read over his suicide letter and grinned, it was perfect. Well, as perfect as a suicide letter could be. He'd never liked writing that much but drama class had helped change that. They had been studying Romeo And Juliet for the past week and he had really gotten to understand the characters feelings. When his teacher, Mr. Archer had instructed the boys to write a suicide letter from Romeo's point of view after finding out Juliet was dead, Carlos had known just what to write.
The girls had been told to do the same but from Juliet's point of view and Carlos wanted to try that, too. After class, he'd asked Mr. Archer if he could do that for extra credit and the teacher had said it was fine since he needed the extra points, anyway. But to write how a girl must be feeling, he'd need help from a girl and he knew just the one to help him. Grabbing his notebook, he ran out of the room he shared with James and out of 2J to search for Camille, hoping she would help him write the perfect suicide letter for Juliet, leaving Romeo's on his desk.
James walked into the apartment along with Kendall and Logan, glad the day was almost over. They had just played a terrible game of street hockey with some of the other residents of the Palm Woods, losing six to three. He knew if Carlos had been playing with them, they would have won and not had to have suffered such humiliation in front of so many cute girls. But no, Carlos had said he was too busy with something and he needed to concentrate. Carlos' comment had earned some curious glances from his friends, not remembering a day when the youngest had been so eager to do something by himself.
"Mom left us some money for pizza, you guys want to order it now?" Kendall asked, pulling out an envelope with money from the cupboard. James looked at Logan and shrugged, he was too exhausted to think about food but knew he had to eat anyways.
"Might as well. I kinda wanted some of Mama Knight's roast beef but pizza will do." James laughed at Logan's comment, knowing his friend would have prefered to have gone with Mama Knight and Katie on their mother-daughter dinner trip.
"Make sure it doesn't come all soggy like last time, that was the most disgusting pizza, ever!" James shouted back to his friends as he made his way to his room to get a change of clothes for a quick shower. He was sweaty and smelled gross, there was no way he was going to eat smelling like a wet dog.
"Ask Carlos what he wants on his pizza." James waved his hand at Logan without looking back before he walked into his room. Noticing Carlos wasn't in the room, he shrugged, thinking his friend was probably out getting a smoothie or something. He walked over to the drawer to get some clean clothes when he stepped on a piece of paper.
"Still making a mess, I see." He muttered to himself before picking it up. James was going to put it back on the desk when a few words caught his attention. Quickly reading the letter, he felt his heart begin to beat faster and faster at each sentence, not sure if he was really reading it correctly. This was a suicide note, in Carlos' writing.
"Kendall! Logan!" James rushed out to the kitchen where his two friends had already started heading towards him, concern all over their faces. James couldn't think, he tried explaining the note but he couldn't form any sentences. Giving up, he shoved the paper into Logan's hands, who took it and read it. James knew he'd reached the same conclusion when Logan visibly paled.
"Where's Carlos?" Kendall asked after reading the note as well. Logan and James shook their head and shrugged, not having a clue as to where their missing friend could be.
"He's not here, what if we're too late?!" James felt like his world was falling apart. How could they have missed the signs? He thought back to the past week but realized, there hadn't been any signs. Carlos had acted the same as he always did, he hadn't given any indication that he was depressed.
"And who the hell is Juliet? I didn't even know he liked someone!" Kendall yelled in frustration, grabbing his phone and dialing Carlos' number. "How could we not have known this was happening? If something happens to Carlos, I'll never forgive myself."
"He's okay, he's gotta be okay. This can't be happening, this can't be happening!" Logan kept muttering as he paced back and forth.
"We should call the poice, they'll know what to do and-" James stopped talking when the door to their apartment opened and in walked their missing friend. Carlos seemed perfectly fine for someone contemplating suicide. He walked in carrying a notebook and eating a corn dog. James, Logan and Kendall stared at their friend, not sure how to react at seeing him okay and, well, alive.
"Hey guys, what's going on?"
James was the first to snap out of it and ran to his friend, engulfing Carlos in a tight hug. Kendall and Logan joining them a split second later. James couldn't help the tears that ran down his face, he had been so scared at the thought of losing his best friend, he wouldn't have been able to take it. The sobbing coming from his friends, scared Carlos, he had no idea why they were crying and worry quickly filled him thinking something might have happened to a family member.
"Guys, what's wrong? Is Mama Knight okay? Is Katie? What's going on? Why are you crying?"
The three worried guys pulled away, hesitating to let go. Once they were sure Carlos was really there in front of them, their worry turned into frustration. Kendall went back to where he'd dropped the note and handed it to Carlos who took it with a frown, still not understanding why his friends were crying. Had the note been that good that they felt Romeo's pain as well? Or had it been so bad, they felt like Carlos had failed the assignment?
"It's my suicide note." He stated the obvious, still not seeing what the problem was. James rested a hand on his shoulder, looking at the youngest with a slightly irritated look.
"Carlos, why didn't you tell us what was going on? We're your best friends, we're here to help you with anything. We've always been there for each other, Carlitos, you should have come to us." Carlos felt like crying, they hadn't liked his note? He'd worked so hard on it and his friends thought he'd still needed help with it.
"But I wrote with it from the bottom of my heart, it's the best I could come up with." He sobbed. He felt stupid, how could he not even write a suicide note?
"Carlos, who's Juliet and what happened to her?" Kendall asked, leading the sobbing Latino to the nearest stool as the others followed.
"Is that what the note is missing? Should I have gone into more detail about her?" Logan, James and Kendall exchaned a confused glance, he was worried he hadn't written a proper suicide note?
"The note doesn't matter, we want to know what led you to write it. We're worried about you, we had no idea you were even thinking about this."
"I didn't want your help, I wanted to know I could do this on my own but apparently I couldn't even do that. Romeo would be so disappointed in me!" Carlos sobbed even harder into Kendall's shirt.
"Romeo? What are you talking abou... Oh." It was as if a lightbulb had turned on and Logan sighed, feeling relief literally run through his body.
"Mr. Archer, he told us to write a suicide note that Romeo might have left after he found out Juliet died. I tried my best, I really did." The others weren't sure whether to laugh or cry from relief. Their friend wasn't planning on killing himself over Juliet, he was finishing a homework assignment. James shook his head, wiping away tears from relief.
"Oh, Carlos." He hugged his friend once more, knowing he'd never been this glad over a misunderstanding.
"I'm sorry, I guess I do need help if it was that bad." Kendall and Logan couldn't help but laugh as James continued hugging their friend.
"It's not that buddy, it's just that we thought-"
"We thought it was so good, we could practically feel Romeo's pain." Kendall interrupted James. They seemed to have caught on and silently agreed it would be best not to mention what had actually happened. Carlos would just wonder how they could have possibly thought he'd written that letter for himself and all sorts of questions they didn't want to discuss with him at the moment.
"Really?" They all nodded, knowing they'd done the right thing when Carlos grinned happily, feeling proud for accomplishing something on his own. "Awesome!" Carlos stood up and hugged each of them before heading off to his room. "And sorry for scaring you, I'll be sure to let you guys know all my homework assignments from now on." He smiled at his friends faces then ran into his room.
"So, we never speak of this...ever." Kendall stated to which the others agreed. This was something that would stay between them and only them.
So...yea. I think this is one of the shortest thing I've ever written but I hope you still enjoyed it. I have no idea where this idea came from, either but it seemed okay to post. Let me know if I did the right thing, please!