authors note: so sorry for the long wait, enjoy the final chapter (no epilogue).
p.s sorry for the errors in this, I'm sure there are some.
You feel the rain before you've stepped outside. You have been feeling a lot before it has happened lately. Your friendship with Brittany isn't satisfying, because you wish it were more. You aren't desperately begging outside her apartment, which she moved into after you kicked her out, so you're proud of yourself. However, not having your spontaneity anymore has made you less of an energetic, free spirit. When you're walking down the street you tend to stare at your feet rather than observe the people passing you.
There's a different smell in the air today and it's not just because of the rain pelting down on your head. The air smells a little more fresh which instantly makes you feel fresh. You're aware that Brittany smells fresh every day and this morning is no exception. She's waiting for you at your normal table in the café where you confessed your feelings and issues. You were surprised when she asked you here after you spoke last, outside that restaurant. The man she was with is still a mystery to you because neither of you have brought him up. You also haven't seen him around at all with Brittany and that's definitely a good thing. Although, you suppose you would be happy for the blonde if she was happy with someone else.
Perhaps there's absolutely nothing to worry about, but you still want to hear it from Brittany. So when you walk up to her booth, you sit opposite her and notice the way her eyes flicker curiously from the menu to you. "Who was the guy you were with at that restaurant a couple weeks ago?"
"Sam?" You shrug because you don't really think he looks like a Sam. "He's my brother. He was visiting for a week and we caught up. He went back to Cleveland already," she pinches her lips together, "I wish you could have met him."
"Why?" Your lips curl up a little.
"Actually never mind," she shakes her head, "you said you didn't want to meet my family anyway."
"I would," you reply instantly, then gulp loudly and gesture for a waiter to come over. He takes your order of a burger and a milkshake, while Brittany just gets a coffee and sandwich. You feel like a slob compared to her, even though you both look like you weigh the same. She has more muscle than you though and you like it that way.
Now that the thought of her strength is running through your mind, you can't help but fall into a trance as you stare all over her face. You imagine her picking you up and throwing you down onto a bed. Fuck. You wish you never broke up with her in the first place. But then you may have been unhappy with her for even longer and never truly realised that she was better for you than anyone.
"I'm meant to be visiting my parents next weekend for my dad's birthday, you could join me?" There's hopefulness in the blonde's tone, but it isn't forceful and that's what makes you nod happily. Inside your head you're dreading adult conversation, but there has to come a point where you grow up and take a chance. This is that time. You can't say no and let Brittany go again.
"It would be a fun road trip," you comment, staring outside the window into the distance, picturing the music blasting in Brittany's car. Oh yeah. Brittany passed her driver's test and you didn't. You haven't told anyone, but because Brittany never sees you drive anywhere you're sure she's figured it out.
Brittany nods and then stretches her hands out in front of her, placing them both on the table. One of them is close to your hand, her fingers lightly tapping against the wood. "Ladies," the waiter breaks you both from whatever trance you were caught in and places your food and drinks down. You look up for a moment and notice the boy smirking towards you. He clasps his hands together and lingers a moment. You think he's waiting for you to try the food, but you're not entirely sure because his smirk hasn't disappeared and his eyes travel lower to your chest.
"Is there anything else I can get you?" You wonder why he isn't asking Brittany this in a flirtatious tone, or at all. Brittany is so much prettier than you, you think. To you she's like this angel that was sent to put all other women to shame. You wonder why she even liked you and dated you.
"No," you reply softly. You feel really uncomfortable as you lean forward and sip on your milkshake through the straw.
"Um, I was just wondering, if you weren't doing anything later," he mumbles, "my shift finishes in an hour and we could hang out?"
Your eyes bulge and you quickly swallow your drink. You want to be blunt and tell this guy to back off because the love of your life is sitting right in front of you. But said girl in front of you beats you to it.
"Babe, try this," Brittany grins and rips the corner of her sandwich, stretching her arm out so her hand is hovering in front of your mouth. You realise what she's doing and you smile shyly back at her and part your lips, taking the small portion into your mouth. You moan in satiation and watch as Brittany's fingers trail down your arm and settle on top of your hand. You swallow and watch Brittany smile so lovingly at you that you forget you're in public and slowly lean forward. You're chewing at your bottom lip while staring at Brittany's lips and notice the slight movement Brittany's making.
Your eyes flutter shut when you're about an inch away from the blonde and in less than two seconds your lips are moulding together. You hear the faint sound of the waiter mumbling something inappropriate before there are footsteps and he's gone. You're so surprised that Brittany is kissing you back, because you are just friends and you haven't talked about getting back together at all. You know that she knows you want too, and now you're positive she wants too as well.
You slowly close your lips over Brittany's bottom one and tug lightly. She releases a moan and pulls back, smiling shyly and brushing her knuckles across her nose.
"Sorry," you say suddenly.
Brittany giggles and rolls her eyes. "No you aren't."
You grin at her. "I'm not," you shake your head and laugh along with her.
You both continue eating your meal, occasionally feeding each other when that waiter guy looks in your direction. Brittany brings out the carefree side of you that you never knew existed and you treasure moments like these. Once you're both finished, you hesitate to hold Brittany's hand and when you try she speeds up her steps a little but you don't think it's because of you. She stretches her arms and opens her mouth towards the sky to catch the rain drops. You watch her from under shelter and feel overwhelmed.
You feel as though this is too much of an intimate moment to be staring, but you can't help it.
You slept through your alarm and groggily walk into your bathroom when you can finally be bothered. You stare at yourself in the mirror, ready to punish yourself. But you can't, you can clench your fists anymore because your hands aren't made to cause harm to yourself, they're made to hold Brittany's.
Brittany Pierce – the girl that is going to be furious with you. You told her you would meet her at the gym an hour ago and you slept through your fucking alarm. You want to make it up to her and you text her asking what she is doing later this evening. She responds with 'nothing, why?' and you tell her to come over to your apartment. The apartment she hasn't been to since you broke her heart. You like to say you broke her heart because it makes you feel better. It makes you believe she was so in love with you.
It also makes you feel like absolute crap of course.
You're completely unsure of what you want to do tonight with Brittany. Maybe you could cook for her or settle for takeout because you're not sure she would like anything you make. You're becoming anxious. Brittany dated you and would never say something to intentionally hurt your feelings. But you remember that day at the gym and you really pushed her buttons. It was a turn on seeing Brittany so full of rage, but you never again want to be the source of that rage. All you want to make her feel is happiness and pleasure.
You're very reluctant to dress up tonight, as you are every day, but impressing Brittany is the only thing on your mind. You want her to lust over you, like she probably did in the first few weeks in your relationship. It's almost like you want to replay your entire relationship just so you can fall in love with her all over again and do it right this time.
You have hours to think of what you're going to do and the things you're going to say. Maybe you could ask Brittany questions and learn even more about her. You think you've learnt all there is to know, but there is always one thing a person never tells. Maybe tonight you'll be able to get her to reveal something to you. Your palms rub together as you stand in your bedroom again, looking out your window towards old buildings outside. It's strange how you never saw their real beauty before. How only now you're just realising how different the world looks when you simply just open your eyes and observe. You think it has something to do with Brittany. Being with her makes you forget what's going on with you. You're positive you're getting better and you can't wait to be good again.
You decide, after an hour, that you're going to call Brittany and ask her what she would like to do tonight.
She answers after two rings and sounds completely out of breath. "What's up?"
"Why are you panting?" You ask with a frown that she can probably picture through the phone. You hear her let out a big breath and giggle.
"I just finished working out, why is it turning you on?" Her tone is playful, but you're aware friends do this to each other. So you shake your head and click your tongue against the roof of your mouth.
"I've already had my way with you after a work-out; that's old news." You're surprised at your confident tone and so it Brittany by the moment of silence she gives you. She hums softly into the phone and your lips curl up into a smirk. You know she's thinking about it.
"I'm bringing snacks for tonight, unless you've made dinner reservations or something?" She sounds curious. Maybe she really wanted something romantic. Crap.
"Um, no, I was thinking we could just watching a movie and eat junk food," you reply timidly.
"Oh thank god," she sighs, "I've had a tiring morning so I'm looking forward to relaxing."
"Awesome," you grin and scratch the tip of your nose, "you can get here anytime."
"Sure thing," Brittany chirps. "Oh and San," you lick your lips as you wait and can almost see the growing smirk on her lips, "tonight's news is going to wet, so don't be afraid to work me out until I can't move."
Your jaw has dropped and you hear the dial tone on your mobile. You lock your phone and throw it on the bed, sighing happily to yourself because you've once again got Brittany wanting you. You don't know how, but you aren't questioning it.
You've never seen Brittany look more beautiful than she does now. Her hair is in a messy bun and her work shirt is half hanging out of her tight skirt that looks like a bitch to get on. You watch as she struts into your apartment with so much confidence. You really do adore her.
She throws her jacket on the couch and falls back onto it, resting her head back and stretching her arms out. Her head tilts to the side and she looks at you through hooded eyes. "Come here." You're surprised she isn't smirking when she says that, so you assume she just wants to talk or something.
Once you're in front of the couch, you bend to sit but she shakes her head and raises her hand closest to you. "No, here," she claps her thighs together and you understand. After a big gulp you take a step in front of her and climb on top of her so you're straddling her. "That's better," she whispers and now you witness that familiar smirk.
You pinch your lips together and turn your head out of shyness. You can't believe how vulnerable she's making you right now. She's literally overpowering you and she isn't forcing you to do anything. You chose to sit on her instead of cooking the popcorn. "What?" She asks. "You didn't invite me here so we could stare at each other right?" Those words are familiar.
This is too intimate. You're enjoying it, finally.
"Um, music," you splutter out and awkwardly shuffle off her and walk over to your cd player. You're even more embarrassed when you realise you don't have an iPod speaker. You aren't even sure where your iPod is. You haven't played music on this old thing for years, so you're unsure what CD has been sitting in there.
You hit play and wait.
I'm just bachelor,
I'm looking for a partner,
Someone who knows how to ride,
Without even falling off
Your eyes immediately bulge out of your skull as you fumble with the buttons to pause, or better yet stop the entire song. Your pointer finger smashes against the pause button but it's not doing anything. You turn around and witness Brittany with a large grin on her face laughing at your flustered state.
Gotta be compatible,
Takes me to my limits,
Girl when I break you off,
I promise that you won't want to get off
Once you realise you can just press the eject button that seems to be crusting, you release a sigh and close your eyes. However the music doesn't stop. It's actually being sung now. You turn around slowly and witness Brittany slouching down on the couch like a thug. "If you're horny, let's do it," she clicks, "ride it, my pony." You want her to stop but you don't because Brittany looks so sexy sitting like that and practically moaning out the song lyrics.
She begins to hum the rest of the tune as you walk forward and straddle her once again. Will having sex with her right now ruin things? Is this moving too fast or is it okay? You want to ask Brittany but lately you've been thinking your words rather than voicing them so you don't get into trouble.
But maybe Brittany liked your blunt spontaneity. "Your voice sounds like when you're grating cheese and you make a really smooth slice."
Brittany's eyes narrow and her lips curl. "You think so?" You hesitantly nod. "Awesome." She grabs your hips and lifts you off her, plopping you down on the couch beside her. Did you say something wrong? She doesn't look angry…
She leans forward and grabs a plastic bag from the coffee table. She pours the contents out and your eyes widen at the amount of chocolate and lollies you see. You're more of a savoury girl, so you grab the packet of chips and sit back on the couch.
"What are we watching?"
"Oh," you jump off the couch and look at your shelf of DVD's. You're surprised you don't find any VHS's. You hold three up for Brittany that you think she'll like and she chooses the middle one. You don't remember watching Despicable Me, but you've heard that it's an entertaining film.
"Do you want a drink?" You offer the blonde as she tucks her legs underneath her butt, making herself comfortable.
"I'm fine," she replies, glancing your way with a smile.
As the movie starts, you both stay quiet. You aren't sure what there is to enjoy about it so far, because the main guy is a little nasty. You sound like a 12 year old. Shut up, you mutter inside your mind.
Your lips are starting to become dry, but you don't want to get up because you might miss something important. You figure that Brittany will inform you about it later. You clear your throat as a gate way but Brittany doesn't take her eyes off the television. You stand up and make your way to the kitchen, purposely making your steps a little lighter.
You pour yourself a glass of water and walk quietly back to the couch. Your eyes squint when you notice that Brittany has shifted a little on the couch so you barely have any room to squeeze in. Your head is pounding but it isn't a normal headache. You feel like you're being pulled out of reality as your entire body heats up and you attempt to sit down. Unfortunately nothing goes right and your hands slips from the arm of the couch and your glass of water splashes out onto Brittany's shirt.
"Oh my god," she gasps, bolting upright with her arms outstretched. "That's really cold."
"Fuck I'm sorry," you hiss and place your glass on the table. "I'll get you a clean shirt, god I'm such a fucking idiot."
Brittany laughs beside you. "Santana it's okay," she places a hand on your thigh, blocking any chance you have of getting up. "I can just take this off," she adds calmly.
"What?" You mumble, but you're certain Brittany didn't hear you because she's lifting her shirt over her head and tossing it over the back of the couch. Your eyes fall to the breasts you've seen before but have missed so dearly. You hear her giggle again and meet her gaze. You're not embarrassed, because you want her to know that you appreciate her body.
She slouches back again, but this time one of her legs is bent which makes her skirt bunch up slightly. It looks like it would feel uncomfortable but Brittany isn't cringing. She's watching the television, as you should be doing. You slouch down to her level and are grateful to be wearing pants.
Minutes pass and your eyes are still glued to the television. You've noticed movement out of the corner of your eye but Brittany doesn't seem to be saying anything if she's uncomfortable or bored. Your eyes cautiously flicker left and do a double take. Because her skirt is higher up and both her legs are dangling off the edge of the couch. You swear you can see her panties from this angle.
One of those thoughts enters your mind. The thoughts that keep you wet and unfulfilled at night. The thought of Brittany and you getting it on against every surface in your apartment makes your fingers and lips twitch. Your left hand slowly slides along the inches of space between you and Brittany and continues path along her skirt towards the apex of her thighs. If Brittany has noticed what you're doing, she certainly isn't objecting or saying anything for that matter.
When your fingers skip along her underwear you swear you hear her gasp sharply. Your eyes are no longer focused on the television. All your focus is on making Brittany feel good. You watch as she spreads her legs wide and when you look at her face, her eyes are still watching the screen but her lips are slightly parted.
You press two fingers down where her clit is and her body jolts. You watch her face again. She's biting her lip and staring at you now. She wants it, you can tell with just one look. You twist your body so you don't have to awkwardly reach under her skirt. You use your right hand to lift the fabric up higher and now you can her underwear as clear as day. You also notice the dark, damp patch where her slit is. The fabric of her underwear is so thin that her juices are actually soaking through onto your fingers as you slide them up and down.
"Mm," she whimpers. "You were always so good with your fingers." Her eyes pierce into yours and one of her hands reaches up to play with your hair, tucking it behind your ear and then gliding along your jaw line. You barely register the faint noise of arousal you make until you see the smirk on Brittany's lips.
You're almost about to apologize but then you realise this is what is meant to happen. Very politely you take her hands and place them on her lap and then slide backwards off her so you can sit on your knees. You watch the colour in Brittany's eyes change. You run your nails up and down her inner thighs and she sucks in a deep breath, arching her back and tilting her head in different directions. You want her to be comfortable.
You hook your arms under her thighs and roughly pull her forward just enough so your mouth is inches away from her dripping sex. Brittany's fingers curl over the edge of the couch and dig into the cushion. You can see a faint spot of blood on her bottom lip where she's biting down hard.
About half a minute passes before you lean forward, flatten your tongue against her entrance and run it all the way up to her clit. You hear Brittany choke on a moan but you don't stop. Even through her underwear she tastes good; you forgot her taste surprisingly.
"Wait Santana," she rushes out and your tongue halts at her entrance again.
"What?" You mutter with your tongue halfway out of your mouth. She tugs at your hair and you look up at her.
"I want to take things slow," she whispers, "as much as I want you to eat me out; we have to take things slow. We're only just getting back to the way we were."
"I don't want to be the way we were I want to be the way we are," you counter and Brittany narrows her eyes. "The way we were didn't work out, so I want us to start fresh."
"Well can't we start fresh slowly?" She replies timidly. Your face freezes for a millisecond before breaking out into a grin. As much as you want to stare at Brittany's soaking pussy, you really just want to kiss her right now. So you crawl back up her body and tug on her bottom lip.
"The first step can be meeting your parents," you whisper. She grins and pushes you sideways all of a sudden so she can straddle your lap now. You aren't complaining. The fact that Brittany is that strong turns you on, but you remember you have to go slow so you keep your hands at your sides.
"I can't believe you actually want too," she says with a shy grin. You poke her cheeks because she is the most adorable human being you've ever met.
"Well I actually want to eat you out," you watch her eyebrows rise, "but that can wait." You both share a playful smile and she leans down to plant kisses all over your face. You try to battle her away with your own puckered lips but she's too quick.
Brittany finally stops her attack, leaning back and laughing at your scrunched up expression. Then her face suddenly lights up as she remembers something. "There's a really cool gym in Cleveland," she says nonchalantly.
"Are you saying we get it on in this new gym?" You ask in a serious tone.
"No," she giggles, "well maybe, after you meet my parents."
Brittany asked you to meet at her apartment at 9. It's now 11 o'clock and you haven't turned on your engine yet. She called you and you answered that you were on your way, but that was half an hour ago. You're surprised she hasn't shown up at your apartment yet.
She sounded agitated on the phone and you hate that you make her feel anything other than happiness and pleasure. You should call her and tell her you can't make it because you want to please people as soon as they ask you for something but hardly ever follow through with it. You suspect she might have left already. Why would she wait for you? Nobody waits for you.
After another few minutes of contemplation, you rev the engine and start driving towards Brittany's apartment. Once you've arrived, you can't believe what you see. Brittany is sitting on the hood of her car, well she was. Now she's marching over to your car and slamming your door open.
"You're late," she hisses, "you let me down again."
You cringe as the venom in her voice. You hate yourself that you keep doing this and you don't know why it keeps happening because you love Brittany so much. "I'm sorry," you murmur.
"You either want to be with me forever, or have me part time and until you make that decision and stick with it then I can't keep doing this."
"Yes you can, you can't give up on us," you try to reason with her but your voice breaks.
"I can give up whenever I want," Brittany yells, "but you keep pulling me back in and that's why I agreed to be friends after you broke my heart. You do something to me Santana, that's why I want you to meet my family and eventually settle down with me. I've never felt this way."
Brittany sounds so defeated you feel like smashing your head against the windscreen until you're unconscious. You can't stand this, you have to leave, you have to get away from Brittany because all you do is hurt her. "I've never felt this way either," you state, before closing the door on the blonde and starting your car. You watch Brittany's face fall and her hands slam against your door. Her yelling is muffled but you can tell she's swearing.
You wind down the window and Brittany's words get lost in her throat as you smile at her. "That's why I'm coming with you, to prove how much I want this."
Brittany's chest is rising and falling and her hands slam against your door once again. But this time a smirk grows on her face. "Follow me."
Brittany stops once for gas. And you think you'll be able to have a short make out session in her car. But she gives you a stern look and you know exactly what that means. Just because you make her smile doesn't mean you can have more. You need to work on showing up to places on time, because if you make another wrong move then she'll probably get sick of you.
You never want her to get sick of you. You want her to want you to be here, on this trip to her parents' home with her.
"We're taking this slow remember," she reminds you as you lean against her car door.
"This is my fault," you pinch the bridge of your nose, "if I wasn't so indecisive then maybe we would already be in a stable relationship."
"Santana," Brittany says softly, placing her hand on your forearm. "Did you just take responsibility for something? Normally you're so stubborn," she laughs, "when I first met you we both disagreed and agreed on different things."
"Mostly disagreed," you chime in and watch Brittany roll her eyes.
"Well not every couple is perfect," Brittany blurts out and then purses her lips shut. You smirk at her and stretch your arm out so she's able to see the full frame of your body. Your hip is cocked out and Brittany starts to giggle.
"You said we were a couple."
"We don't have to be," she says quickly.
"Fine we won't, but just know that you're mine." You don't know why you're being so protective but by the large grin on Brittany's face you suspect that she likes it.
"I'm yours," she whispers. You lean down and press a firm kiss to her cheek and as you're about to walk back to your car you feel a tug on your arm and you're suddenly being pulled into the car. Brittany grabs your cheeks and presses her lips to yours clumsily. You both giggle as you try to battle for dominance but Brittany is very strong, which you know already, and she grabs your hips so you can barely move.
Her tongue finds its way into your mouth and you suddenly grow shy and turn your head. "Slow," you mutter.
"Sorry," she whispers against your cheek. "Come on we should get going." You grin at her as you step out of the car and walk back to yours. You hear her wolf whistle behind you and that's the first time someone has done that to you. The guy at the café that was flirting with you was a first too. But you're glad Brittany saved you and acted as though you were a couple.
You don't have to act anymore though. You're sure that you want her, you're just not sure that you can give her everything she wants. You're trying though.
It takes a few more hours before you make it to Brittany's parents' house and you're completely unsure of what to say. Will Brittany introduce you as her girlfriend or will it be completely awkward because you aren't official.
You watch a man and a woman exit the suburban home and run over to Brittany's car they obviously recognize. Maybe Brittany didn't tell her parents you were coming. You turn off the engine and step out of the car, watching Brittany as she hugs her mom then her dad and turns to you.
Your smile is reserved and your hands are clasped together as you move towards the Pierce family. You wonder where Sam is, but you just want to get through one family member at a time.
Not sexually of course. Brittany is your one and only.
"Santana," Mrs Pierce says with a tight lipped smile. Crap, she knows you.
"We've hear a lot about you Santana," Mr Pierce cuts in, "it's a shame you and Brittany are no longer together."
You're thrown back completely because you didn't even know they knew about you and Brittany being a couple at all. You internally smile at the thought of Brittany calling her mom and dad and telling them all about you. You hope she didn't tell them how you broke her heart because they might tell you to get back in your car and go home.
"It's nice to finally meet you. Brittany and I are working on our relationship so I hope this weekend goes well." You didn't have to say any of that, because you're sure Brittany's parents know that you're constantly on medication. Lately of course you haven't been, because Brittany is making you better and you can handle yourself.
"We do too," Mrs Pierce replies with a genuine smile this time.
"Where's Sam?" Brittany chimes in.
"He's spending the day with Mercedes, but he'll be here tomorrow before you leave." You nod towards Mr Pierce so you seem interested in the conversation.
"I thought Sam was Brittany's boyfriend when I saw them together," you blurt out.
Both Pierces laugh and Brittany just shakes her head. You're afraid you embarrassed her but then she gives you a grin and punches your shoulder lightly. "We thought out of all people you knew Brittany is a lesbian."
You turn to Mrs Pierce and start to blush. Of course you knew; you were just too stupid to realise at that moment. You saw Brittany with someone else and you jumped to conclusions that obviously weren't true. You not only need to prove yourself to Brittany, but also her parents – both of which are staring at you oddly.
"Let's go inside," Brittany chirps, taking your hand and pulling you towards the door.
After Brittany gave you a tour of her parents' home and you were instructed to put your things in the guest room, you all sit by the fire and wait for hot chocolate, which is apparently her mother's speciality.
Brittany is sleeping in her old room and you're in the guest room. You have let that sink in as you sit beside Brittany on the two seater couch in front of the fireplace. Brittany's fingers are tickling the side of your foot over your socks as she listens to her dad talk passionately about the NFL draft picks.
It's not that you aren't into football, you just really would rather listen to Brittany talk. But you realise that to have Brittany, you must hear her family out as well. They are being lovely to you so you stay silent until they ask you questions.
Mrs Pierce walks in with two hot chocolates and hands one to you. "Thank you so much," you say, pulling your sleeves down and cupping the mug. Unfortunately you sip too quickly because you just wanted to tell Mrs Pierce how well she makes hot chocolate. Most of the liquid ends up on your shirt and you bolt upwards, almost bowling Mrs Pierce over in the process.
Brittany gasps beside you and rushes you over to the stairs. "We'll be right back," she tells her parents.
"Are you alright dear?" You hear Mr Pierce ask. You shout back that you will be okay as Brittany guides you into the bathroom. She pulls your shirt off and throws it in the sink. She then grabs a small towel and wets it before patting it against your chest.
"How does that feel?" She asks softly.
"I'm an idiot," you reply, "I'm ruining this weekend."
Brittany laughs. "No you aren't Santana. We've barely been here a day and you're doing fine."
"Your parents probably think I'm crazy," you murmur. Brittany stops patting the towel against your skin and just stares at you with her head slightly tilted sideways.
"Where was this Santana when I met you months ago?" She asks. "Why couldn't you have been like this before?"
"Did you not like me before?"
"I loved you before," she answers instantly. "I just wish you would have been nice to me, that's all."
You sigh in defeat. "I'm so sorry Brittany. You have to know that when I met you it was so unexpected. I didn't plan to fall for you so quickly and then leave you just as fast. I was searching so hard for someone to just want me and love that when you showed up unexpectedly I didn't feel like I deserved you."
"You need to start believing in yourself like I believe in you Santana," Brittany responds gently. You gulp and step forward so the front of your body is almost flush against Brittany's.
"Still want to take things slow?"
"You just make me really happy and when you say things like that I just want to kiss you." You tuck your lips into your mouth because you're sure Brittany won't let you kiss her in her parents' bathroom. You didn't come to Cleveland to make out with Brittany. You just want to prove to her that you could meet her parents and not act weird. Even though you've already managed to spill her mother's famous hot chocolate on yourself.
Brittany's lips twitch but she doesn't say anything. You take her silence as a yes Santana, you can kiss me. So you tilt your head up and part your lips slightly. When you graze your lips against her bottom one, Brittany lets out a whimper. You breathe out a laugh and pull back.
"Your parents wouldn't want me doing this to their daughter," you say quietly. Brittany's eyes remain closed as she nods, humming as an answer. You tangle your fingers with hers and pull her out of the bathroom with you. When you're back in the living room with Brittany's parents, they give you a weary look.
At first you wonder why, but then a breeze comes in the room from the window and it hits you hard. Your eyes widen and Brittany immediately steps in front of you. "Oh my god," you murmur.
Mrs Pierce giggles. "Brittany should have some spare shirts in her old room."
"Goodnight girls," Mr Pierce says, walking passed you both and awkwardly kissing Brittany on her temple as you're glued behind her. Once both adults have left and you hear the door to their bedroom shut, Brittany leads you back upstairs and hands you a clean shirt, even though she knows you brought clothes with you. You're happy you get to wear her clothes though.
"I want to respect your parents, so I'm going to head to bed," you say reluctantly.
"Alright," Brittany whispers, leaning in to peck your lips. You grin at her and skip across the hall towards your room.
You check the time and realise you've been lying in bed awake for two hours. You're unaware if Brittany's awake or not because you can't hear anything outside this room. It takes a lot of courage for you to get out of bed and walk out of the room towards Brittany's. You slowly open her bedroom door and her head instantly turns towards you.
Both of you share a smile and you walk inside, shutting the door behind you. You stand at the foot of the bed and decide whether or not this is a good idea.
You told Brittany you didn't want to disrespect her parents and now you're about to climb into bed with her. You could just cuddle though, that wouldn't be a big deal. You've never been one to cuddle though, but maybe Brittany can teach you.
Placing your palms on the bed first, you begin to crawl on top of Brittany. She leans up slightly and bites her bottom lip. You raise a hand a brush the blonde hair out of her face. "I shouldn't be here," you whisper.
"Why not? You're my girlfriend."
"Am I?" You question.
She nods. "Yeah, if you want to be… actually," she grins, "you don't have a choice."
"I don't want a choice," you reply confidently before leaning down and capturing her lips. You inhale deeply through your nose as Brittany's hands rest on your hips. She suddenly grips you harder and flips you over so you're on your back.
You gasp as you hit the soft surface and Brittany wastes no time in kissing you again. Her tongue dives between your lips and you moan. You're leaning against the headboard slightly causing your neck to hurt, but Brittany's kisses seem to be taking away the pain.
She leans back up, breaking the kiss and you notice for the first time that she is only wearing underwear and a loose tank top. You don't want to waste time either, so you slide a hand between her legs and her palms cup both your breasts. Her back arches a little and her eyes flutter shut as she grinds on top of your hand.
"Ugh," she groans, moving her body in a circular motion. You feel your fingers becoming soaked as her heat generates through her underwear. You moan again as she squeezes your breasts.
Suddenly you become predatory, because you haven't had Brittany for so long and you want to be with her in every possible way so badly. You slide your hand under her panties and run your fingers down her dripping folds. She humps forward and back slowly and you slip one finger inside of her causing her to freeze up for a moment.
A moan shakes out of her throat and her eyebrows dip. Her tongue moistens her upper lip and it turns you on even more so you slip another finger inside her and pump hard. "Santana," she whines and it's the sexiest thing you've ever heard. Your teeth grind together as you pump faster into her and watch her body violently convulse on top of you.
The wetness pouring down your fingers makes it easier for you to go deep and once you've reached that spot, Brittany's eyes pop open and she collapses on top of you writhing in pleasure. "Fuck," she whispers.
You wrap your arms around her. You've never held somebody like this.
You remember when you left her that note and she left you one back. She not only stole your crackers that day, she stole your heart.
The following morning you meet Sam and he's very nice to you despite you blurting out once again that you thought he and Brittany were on a date.
You know how to make things awkward fast, but Brittany doesn't mind. You love her and you tell her that every hour. She enjoys it because she's always wanted someone to confess something so often to her.
You're glad you made her feel pleasure last night and that you make her feel happy when you tell her you love her. That's all you wanted. You're getting better. And you won't ruin this, because Brittany is your soul mate, your saviour, your angel. You wish you had a camera so you can take a photo of Brittany, put it in your purse and take it with you everywhere.
You owe her so much love, because you don't have to take your medication anymore. You thought this entire time that you should take time away from her to get better but it was her that made you better you just didn't realise. You aren't numb, you aren't spontaneous and you aren't single. In fact, you think you just asked Brittany to marry you because her parents are calling out 'group hug'.
authors note: thank you so much for reading this strange angsty fic of mine. I wrote this to simply explore a new style so if you weren't fond of it then that it absolutely fine, in fact I probably won't write like this again. Grill The Heart to Medium Rare should be out in a few days hopefully, thank you all for being kind and patient and please leave a review if you can.