"Behind Closed Doors"
Rating: M for language and sexual content. MATURE READERS ONLY.
Genre: Romance + Lemon / Drama
Summary: Rukia thinks she's alone and focuses on her desires for a change. Ichigo finds out. When a relationship turns physical, it's the start of something new and it sets many other fates into motion. Love doesn't come without consequence, but it is worthwhile nonetheless.
WARNING: Set between the Fullbring and Hundred Year Blood war arc and contains spoilers of both.
This fic contains all my feels so may feel overloaded with romance, fluff and LEMON. Because that's just how I roll.
Rukia had overslept.
It was an incredibly hot day in the human world- a day of unprecedented humidity combined with baking hot sun that showed summer's resilience to hang on, even in the first month of the school year.
The sun beating down incessantly through the windows in Ichigo's room made the linen closet noticeably hotter and Rukia awoke bathed in sweat. When she didn't hear Ichigo moving about the room she drowsily checked her phone and saw that school had started over an hour ago.
She concentrated on searching out spiritual presences and found none in the house. That meant Karin and Yuzu were also at school and Isshin was in the clinic.
Kon was presently ensconced in pill form inside the gikongan dispenser as "time out" punishment for some slight she couldn't remember. She would probably allow him to return to the stuffed lion... eventually.
She was well and truly alone and she felt glued to the futon on the shelf on which she slept. She had kicked off all her coverings during the night and she lay spread-eagled on the bedding, her limbs radiating heat.
It had been some time since she had the opportunity to be alone. She knew that in due time she would have to meet up with Renji, report back to duty, return to Soul Society. But for now she would relish the privacy.
The cloth against her body in the stifling heat was unbearable. She stripped off her damp nightdress and the air immediately felt cooler on her bare skin.
It had been a few short days since she had thrust the spirit blade imbued with reiatsu into the core of Ichigo's soul, restoring his shinigami powers, and thrust herself back into his life.
Why had she returned here of all places? This tiny room- was it for old time's sake? He had acted indifferent to her suggestion to stay while she awaited further orders.
"Do what you want. You would get your way no matter what I say" he had grumbled.
"Fool," she whispered into the darkness, and felt a dull ache in her chest.
Love. Sentiment. Friendship. Attachment. All were trivial things to a Soul Reaper, especially in regards to the living world. For the past 40 years her body had been a tool in service to the Court Guard Squad. An instrument for honing skills, destined for lifetimes of training and battle.
It had been a very, very long time since she had felt her body was her own.
She was by no means ignorant of sexual practices and due to her high level of reiatsu, was not immune to physical urges. However, politics within the Seireitei and even within the SoulReaperAcademy had made her liaisons fleeting at best and upon being adopted into the Kuchiki family, all prospects had dried up completely.
But now she was feeling urges she had long buried. There was attachment growing- the most taboo of all- to a human still living.
But Ichigo was no ordinary human.
On the outside he was a boy barely matured. But his soul was a different matter, enduring trials and trauma the likes of which many Soul Reapers would never experience in many years of existence. She had admired and been intimidated by his power, his limitless potential. But among the darkness and violence and turmoil she had glimpsed the true face of his soul time and again: pure, compassionate and selfless. She trusted him completely.
In her heart he was not a boy. Despite the few years he had lived his influence was mighty, tearing through the order and establishments of Soul Society, and the walls of duty and restraint she had build around herself. He was an infuriating man who flaunted unimaginable power but had no idea of his self worth, who abhorred the harm of others even as he lay dying.
His obliviousness extended to his outward appearance. He was a young man, fit and nubile and strong but seemingly untouched by desire, uninterested in physical urges.
Virile but innocent. It was an enticing dichotomy.
Was it love or lust? She couldn't tell. She felt as if she were losing her powers again, becoming human. Her flesh demanded earthly sensation, the temptation was too great.
Lying there in the quiet darkness, she could contemplate her body. She trailed her fingers down the valley between her breasts, spreading her hand over the center of her ribcage where the Hougyokou had resided. Lower, where the Espada Grimmjow had stabbed his hand clean through her body. Even lower her stomach, where the Espada Aaroniero had thrust a trident through her guts.
There were no scars- Orihime's healing was amazing- but she could remember the fear, the pain. The helpless lethargy as life ebbed away, the agony that shock and adrenaline failed to block out. She had never suffered so many fatal wounds in her whole life before she had met him.
That boy, Ichigo Kurosaki.
Sooner or later they would find themselves in battle again and she could not bear it if she lost him, with so much left unsaid.
Ichigo. You idiot.She was feeling frustration and desire like she had never felt before.Do you know how much you mean to me?
She slid a hand between her legs, was surprised to find how sensitive she was there. Lying naked and warm and exposed while thinking of him was too much to endure. She closed her eyes, remembering his strong arms around her. They had fought together, saved each others' lives, been through so much together- but she had always felt a marked tension emanate from him when he was forced to define their relationship. Even when emotions were running high, he exhibited a tightly coiled restraint towards her at all times. The extended looks her gave her and the hesitant touches hastily retracted only increased as time went by. She could meet him halfway, if he let her.
She rubbed herself in small circles, her body awakening, her senses recalling how to feel pleasure instead of pain.
Ichigo, don't die a virgin, she thought, almost giggling despite herself. You don't know what you're missing.
Her sweat-slick skin quickened her arousal, her fingers sliding easily back and forth. She opened her legs and let her fingers curl into her entrance, her other hand joining to ply her clit, teasing herself with slow strokes and then massaging circles with ever intensifying pressure.
Her body temperature was rising but she didn't care. She increased her pace, feeling her cheeks grow hot, wanting to ride it out.
She imagined him watching her, wide-eyed and aroused. She wanted to see his face lit up with desire and to hear his moans, she wanted to bring his body to the brink of endurance. She wanted to see what this precocious shinigami was capable of.
Involuntarily, she gasped his name aloud as she climaxed, the only word on her lips that she managed to exhale, her hands working furiously. She rode her long awaited orgasm for a few blissful spasms before collapsing, her legs splayed, her fingers calming into languid strokes. At that moment she heard wood scraping against metal and suddenly she was squinting into a sliver of bright light. The closet door had slid open, and there stood Ichigo.
For a moment both parties were utterly frozen in disbelief. Ichigo barely recognized Rukia so exposed, wanton and doing… what? She watched his expression switch rapidly from confusion to realization and mortification in a single second.
She managed to blurt out his name at the same time the door slid shut with a deafening bang.
Ichigo backed away from the closet door, trying to control the rising flush in his cheeks. His first instinct was to apologize but the words wouldn't come.
It was hard to reconcile what he had just seen with the image of Rukia he had in his mind. She was silly and bossy and impulsively violent to be sure. But she was also stoic and wise with a quiet strength that he regarded with utmost respect. Her high expectations of herself and the extents she would go to uphold them intimidated him- and infuriated him. She had gone willingly to her own execution, for God's sake. He cared about her. He wanted to protect her. He tried to be a better person around her. He wanted her.
But this was Rukia Kuchiki. His instantaneous thoughts coming full circle, he reminded himself his feelings for her didn't matter. She was out of his league.
He was just about to turn and run when Rukia came bursting out of the closet, a loose nightdress thrown over her nakedness and she barked his name a second time,
The command had all the force of a kido spell. He didn't want to stare but he couldn't scrub the image from his mind now that she stood before him, dishevelled and flushed. Her hand was outstretched, desperate to stop him but hesitant to make contact.
"Rukia. What. The. Hell." He responded, painfully aware that the blood surge to his face had been accompanied by a surge in the opposite direction as well.
"I thought… you were at school." She answered slowly with the same indignant tone.
"They sent us home because of the heat. The air conditioning was down and why… why were you…"
"I thought no one was home!" She found her voice rising to an unintended pitch. "I didn't expect you to come bursting in and… and…"
"I only opened the door because I heard you- ", his voice caught and he immediately had to cast his gaze downwards and away- "… say my name."
It was Rukia's turn to flush hot with embarrassment by the memory of her recent climax and involuntary gasp. Because she had been thinking of him, she hadn't noticed when his actual reiatsu had snuck up on her. She thought she had been quiet…
"Were… you listening?" she faltered. Ichigo's gaze stayed fixed on the floorboards and he grimaced.
"You sounded like you were in pain."
There was no use pretending it hadn't happened. Rukia had not intended to reveal this side of her self but like any other indiscretion she had committed she would accept the consequences for it.
"Did you think that I was completely innocent, Ichigo? That I didn't do stuff like this?"
He pressed the back of his hand to his mouth to hide his discomfort, to ease the burning in his cheeks.
"Of course not", he mumbled.
"Really." Her eyes widened in disbelief and her voice had a flat, skeptical tone which he found highly annoying.
"Yeah. I'm the same." he shot back. He had the same thoughts and urges as any other seventeen year old. But he held them in low priority- he got enough girl-ogling talk and dating talk second hand from Mizuiro and Keigo. He had grown accustomed to such topics to the point where they became dull and uninteresting.
Guys- especially the ones who tried to beat him up- couldn't believe he had such cute girl friends and was not sleeping with any of them. The notion incensed him- he never wanted to be associated with the type of guy that had ulterior motives, who was a slave to his vices. He couldn't help but look down on misogynists, perverts and anybody who disrespected women. He simply wouldn't stand for anyone thinking of his sisters in that way.
So he kept the tightest rein of all on his physical urges, devoting his mind and body to other things. Sometimes reacting with an overt amount of modesty that had gotten him mocked more than a few times.
But discussing this topic with Rukia was making him unreasonably nervous. He regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth.
Her eyes were unexpectedly alight with curiosity, studying him with an intensity that made his mouth dry and his insides feel as if they were made of helium.
"I don't believe you." She murmured with no trace of mocking but tried to sound coy, challenging him. She sounded calmer than she felt. If she knew Ichigo as well as she thought she did, it was the type of tone that he responded to best.
Ichigo's head snapped up, his brow furrowed with an indiscernible emotion. Her heart pounding, Rukia stepped forward, closing the distance between them. She held his gaze steadily, watching a muscle jump in his temple.
"You've never tried anything, you're untested, inexperienced... but you're telling me that you have these same thoughts, these... urges?" She pried.
"Not the same maybe... but yeah, you should believe it." He responded through gritted teeth. He could feel heat flooding his face again, making his eyes water. He raised his voice. "I really don't want to talk about it. Dammit Rukia, if you are making fun..."
"But I was thinking of you."
That one telling sentence stopped his train of thought in its tracks. She knew at once that she had finally caught his rapt attention. Ichigo's expression was slowly changing from taut restraint to a ravenous longing. As she stared into his brown eyes she could see dark pupils, dilating. She thought she could almost see the pulse of a quickened heartbeat in his throat.
"It doesn't seem right, does it?" She whispered. "For a shinigami sworn into lifetime service with the Gotei 13 to have attachments with this world. That I have obligations that demand that my body, my spirit, my will is not my own."
Ichigo knew better than anyone. He had watched her back many times as duty had drawn her away. But he had buried that disappointment deep down inside, never to be revisited except in his darkest moments.
He had an extremely reactionary personality, which contributed to his bad temper. He often did not acknowledge feelings that he had until they were directly challenged. Most recently, he had felt a stab of desperate panic, when Rukia had flung herself in front of Tsukishima's blade to block an attack meant for him. Even after the worst crisis had been averted, he could still recall the feeling, sickening and nightmarish. He was only now beginning to understand what it meant.
"Even so." She was feeling bolder than she ever thought possible, encouraged by his burning gaze, by the feeling that he was gravitating towards her with every word. They were in free fall now- there was no going back. "Doesn't it make you curious? About what could be?"
The tone of his response had a note of his familiar insolence, but was thick with longing. "Why don't you try me?" His voice trembled only a little.
As a reply, she grabbed a fistful of his button-front and tugged hard, making him stumble- it was so easy for her to catch him off guard.
She slid a hand up the nape of his neck, into his orange hair and he needed no more encouragement; His arms wrapped around her in a crushing embrace, dragged her body upwards so that her feet left the floor and his lips slammed into hers.
The kiss was frantic and clumsy, but exhilarating. They tasted each other greedily, tongues darting, mouths joining forcefully, small pants and moans escaping from their throats. Rukia's legs wound their way around Ichigo's hips and her arms around his shoulders while she gripped her fingers in his short scruff of hair, showing him the speed and pressure that she liked. He held her tight to his body, his hands seeking out places they had never felt before- her shoulder blades, her graceful spine, her rounded bottom. They kissed until their lips were swollen and aching, their suppressed desires unleashed making them insatiable.
At length they broke apart to collect themselves. Rukia's dress was scrunched above her thighs, exposing her nether regions to the bedroom and Ichigo's shirt had nearly been clawed off his back. They stared into each other's faces, vaguely shocked and lightheaded at their exuberance, but enjoying this new perspective of each other.
As Rukia allowed herself to slide down Ichigo's body to the floor she felt his erection, hard and insistent against her, noticeably tenting his uniform trousers. He gritted his teeth as she rubbed her stomach against his length and let out a gasp when she suddenly caressed him with her fingers.
"I am glad to see you are more attracted to me than you let on," she murmured, cupping his firm length appreciatively.
"How else could I react? When I saw you… like that. Any warm-blooded man would." he groaned, and Rukia smirked.
"You haven't seen anything yet." Deftly she began unbuckling his pants, prising open the button, the zipper.
"Rukia," He exclaimed. "Aren't we moving too fast?"
"I've waited a long time, Kurosaki," She muttered. "Don't make me wait any more."
With that she yanked his trousers down and started on his shirt. He protested weakly but she slapped his hands away.
"You've seen me naked, isn't it fair that I see you?" Working 'fairness' into the situation struck a chord, and it worked on him. With a reluctant scowl Ichigo began to help with the undressing, shedding the few layers and his socks until he stood in only his underwear, utilitarian white boxer briefs.
She cocked a finger. "All the way," She said, her expression severe but her eyes dancing.
His scowl deepened. "No way. It's too embarrassing."
"What do you mean?" Her fingers traced the edge of his waistband, hooked and dragged down the elastic before he could stop her, exposing the swollen head of his cock. His hand shot out to grab her arms, the palm of one hand encircling both slender wrists.
With a sudden flash of inspiration she bent forward, touching the tip of his cock with her lips, and then her tongue. His strangled cry and hand tightening on her wrists urging her on, she bent her knees and took him more into her mouth, bit by bit, her tongue caressing him and easing him more into her moist warmth.
His other hand seized her hair but he could not bring himself to pull- it only served to make the situation more erotic as he curled his fingers into the silken strands. He did not know who had captured who as he gripped her wrists with his hand and she gripped him with her lips, her tongue working sensuous circles around the tip of his member.
The building pressure in his balls told him he had to regain control before it was too late.
"I'm serious! Stop!" Releasing her wrists, he grabbed the base of his cock and squeezed, willing the excitement to stop, his breathing sounding unusually harsh.
Rukia slid away with a low chuckle, enjoying his panicked lust, the salty taste of his pre-come on the roof of her mouth.
"Ichigo- don't you want me?" She teased. With a single deliberate action she pulled her dress up over her head and discarded it, watching his gaze rake over her body.
She took his hands and placed them on her shoulders, sliding them down purposefully until they curled automatically around her breasts. She knew her nipples were stiff against his palms as the calluses brushed against the tiny peaks. The heat of his gaze and the closeness of his reiatsu made her shiver.
"I do… I definitely do."
"Then come and get me."
They fell towards and onto the bed simultaneously, Ichigo overpowering her by landing on top, pinning her lower half as he continued exploring her breasts, testing their softness. He kissed her again deeply, taking his time. If he was nervous he didn't show it, rising to the challenge and letting his instincts take over. Typical Ichigo.
They kissed until she was arched against him, begging for more. He finally released her long enough for her to catch her breath.
"If I had known you would be like this… I would never have hesitated and wasted so much time," she panted.
"Give me some credit why don't you." His voice was almost a growl, low and thick with lust. It made her nerves stand on edge.
His thumbs traveled circles around her erect nipples, occasionally teasing with his fingertips to watch her reaction. To her surprise he took a sensitive tip into his mouth, laving his tongue against it with maddening gentleness. Unable to move her legs, Rukia could only writhe and gasp, the sensation traveling straight to her groin.
She sighed and luxuriated as he kissed lower, his mouth traveling across the taut planes of her torso, the softness of her belly. Her petite stature and modest attire belied a womanly and sensuous body, he was discovering. She was slender but toned and lithely muscled. He wanted to see all the ways her supple body could flex.
As he moved lower and gripped her thighs to part them she made a gasp of protest but he ignored her, tilting her hips so that the part that she had so recently pleasured lay exposed to him, slick and ready and tempting.
Rukia threw her head back, unable to watch as his face dove between her thighs and he slowly but determinedly began to explore her with his lips and tongue.
"Damn it, Ichigo, where did you learn this?"
"If you haven't noticed, I spend a lot of time in my own head," He responded simply and intensified his efforts, making her shudder. His attentions were utterly pleasurable but she ached to be filled, a faster and harder release.
"Ichigo… I want you inside me." she pleaded, stifling her pride. His cock jumped, eager to comply but he was intoxicated with the scent of her arousal and the thrill of her sexual responses.
"I want to see how you touch yourself," he uttered between glides of his tongue, "I want to know everything there is to know about pleasuring you."
She moaned, unbearably happy at the way her fantasies had taken shape. She knew very well there would be no stopping Ichigo once he was determined to do something.
"I will show you, I swear. But I want you to fuck me now. Ichigo, please."
Taken aback by her boldness, he complied, climbing up the bed to hover over her and she wrapped her legs around his narrow hips, pulling him to her. She took in the sight of his taut physique- his defined muscles, his rippled abs- before she gripped his cock and guided it to her entrance.
"Hey-" His muscles were jumping and twitching with urgency and he nearly panted with the effort but he managed to make her pause for a brief moment. "What does it mean, after we do this? What happens between us?" He had to know.
She rubbed the swollen tip of his cock against her wetness, his length hot and rigid against her hand.
"After this, Ichigo- you won't be able to be rid of me."
His cock slipped inside her with no resistance, but she was so tight she might as well have been a virgin. The feeling of being gripped by her inner walls was almost overwhelming and it took all of his willpower to go slowly, needing to slide back and forth a few times to ease his entire length inside.
Rukia made an ecstatic sound, thrusting upward to meet him, lifting her knees high to open up to him further. She tightened around his delicious girth, hearing him groan and thrust in response, his skin on hers, his heat and his breath against her hair the most exciting things she had ever felt.
Once her hips started moving she couldn't stop, meeting his thrusts with ever increasing intensity until the rapturous friction pushed her over the edge. She cried out as she climaxed in waves, clinging on for dear life and shuddering beneath him as he pounded into her.
Ichigo wasn't done. He rolled onto his side and then on his back, pulling Rukia on top of him where she straddled him eagerly. He pushed inside her again and she sighed blissfully, enjoying the fulfilling sensation as her penetrated her to the hilt. Recent orgasm had left her feeling wilful and mischievous. She smiled at him- an uninhibited sultry curl of her lips that made his heart stop- and ceased moving her hips, pressing down on his pelvis so that he did the same.
"Wait- what…" he started to say, and she shushed him.
"Keep still," she commanded, and when he relaxed and his breathing slowed, she tightened her inner muscles around his cock as hard as she could. The expression on his face told her he could feel it, and it was immensely satisfying. He was harder than ever.
She played at tightening and releasing around him for as long as she could stand it. She felt as if she were melting, drawing him deeper into herself with each squeeze. Her desire began to mount once more as her awareness became focused entirely on where they were joined.
Ever so slowly she began to move against him, making him slide within her. For several agonizing moments Ichigo tried to remain still, but after concentrating so intently on the subtle contact, the suddenly increased sensations threatened to make him explode.
She was flushed and panting again, rocking her hips with reckless abandon so he decided to abandon control also. Gripping her hips, he thrust her back and forth onto his cock, the pleasure mounting, her moans increasing in pitch and intensity.
Her body stiffened and he was rewarded with a sharp, ardent cry.
It did sound like she was in pain, but he could recognize the difference now. Rukia was too highly in control of herself to cry and yell over pain. But this was something that could make her lose control of her voice, and it sent him over the edge.
He climaxed, but it wasn't like the short, calming releases he could give himself. The sensation exploded throughout his body, to the top of his brain and to the tips of his fingers and toes. Distantly, he could hear the pleased moans she made as he spent himself inside her but his eyes were shut tight, his nerves overloaded with stimuli and he was not even aware of the bestial groans he emitted as he arched and tensed and spasmed furiously.
Coming down from the orgasm felt like returning to consciousness. Ichigo knew that feeling well, though he had never awoken to such deep-seated satisfaction and calm as he felt seeping into his bones now. Awareness began to trickle back into Ichigo's brain, returning him to his surroundings.
Rukia was perched on top of him, looking radiant, sensuous, perfect. Her face was brightly flushed but looked peaceful.
Her skin was slick and shining, damp tendrils of hair clung to her forehead. He knew he must have looked the same way- the sheets were clinging and damp beneath him.
He was able to follow the progress of a bead of perspiration as it slid down her neck, between her breasts and down to her navel. She wiped away more errant drops that deigned to follow.
"Oh God! It's so hot."
Silently, Ichigo agreed.
Thanks goodness for the heat.
She collapsed next to him then, her body nestling into him and his large form curling around her automatically. They clung to each other silently, their breath and pulses gradually slowing.
In that small moment, the two of them could only feel contentment and peace. Nothing had felt so natural, their arms about each other and their bodies fitting together.
Eventually, Ichigo spoke.
"It's not going to be a normal relationship with you, is it?"
"You are alive, and yet you are also a Shinigami. There is nothing normal about you either"
"Thanks a lot." Ichigo was thinking of Ginjo.
"Idiot, that's not what I meant." she sighed, but there was no heat in the insult. It was almost a nickname.
"I know what we're up against." She said quietly. "I would never have done this if I didn't want and accept everything that was to follow."
"When you were gone… it was terrible. I didn't know if I would ever see you again."
Rukia's hold tightened on his body. When she spoke, her voice was thick.
"Don't make me tell you again. No matter how long I am gone, I will always return. I will always come back to you."
The significance of the promise resounded deeply between them.
It wasn't about possessiveness or making idle romantic gestures. It was a promise for bridging the worlds of life and death. It was acknowledging that their bond could never be broken. It was their faith, trust and their protection.
Ichigo felt that at last his destiny had collided with him.
Once again, she was the catalyst in gaining him a whole new sense of awareness. Some things would never change.
"I will be there for you." He answered.
"I'll be waiting."
He had to turn his head to hide his pleased smile. She saw it anyway and drew his face back to hers for a kiss.
Dr. Isshin Kurosaki opened the side entrance to his home, intending to grab lunch before returning to the clinic. He heard the shower running upstairs and was just about to call out when he recognized the spiritual presences of two entities. One of them was his son, but the other one was familiar as well. And they were close. Very, very close.
He decided he would go out for lunch today.
He glanced at the giant poster of Masaki in the landing and gave it a smile and a wink before quietly shutting the door and spinning away, chuckling to himself.
"I told you so, Masaki. I just knew it. My, my Rukia. My third daughter indeed."
Next chapter preview: Meeting. Ichigo is summoned to Soul Society for kido lessons. The initiative was ordered by none other than Thirteenth Company.
A/N: If this is your first time reading this story, it is the best version that I have managed to write so far. I do revisions on existing chapters based on feedback (but mostly by my own whim) Thank you for reading and welcome to my head canon, lol.