"It is your mind Rogue, do not forget that," Xavier said as he pulled away. Rogue felt her eyes open, even as she continued to see the walls she had built. The picture she imagined was a huge gate, one that could only be opened with her permission.
Because the thing was, she didn't want all the personalities completely blocked from her head.
"No. It used to be my mind. Now..." She wasn't sure what she was trying to say. She knew she was Rogue, but there were just some things she couldn't unlearn. Like the professor having used his knowledge of genetics to pick up girls. The way Wolverine tended to fall back on an animalistic personality. Or the horrible experiments done on Erik.
Absorbing Magneto had been the worst experience of her life.
When she had absorbed David, he was just as panicked as she was, and the doubling hysteria had led to her running away. While she had known a little too much about guys for her comfort, once she—and David—calmed down, things were fine. They called to see if he was alright and once he was put out of the accidentally induced coma, David was fine with just hanging out in the back of her mind, very rarely commenting on anything, knowing that it wasn't really his place, and Rogue had been content with pretending he wasn't there.
With Logan, it had been less about his personality, and more about his powers. She had never absorbed a mutant before, and the animal within him had been so different and nearly unknown that it had more or less taken over everything. When the time came, fight or flight, flight won over despite the huge urge to scream and punch somebody in the face. Again, she knew a few too many things about Logan that were awkward at first, but she liked Logan and it didn't matter in the end. He was a smart ass and didn't apologize for who he was. It was weird having another conscious so interested in viewing the world through her eyes, and while it was something to get used to, it was fine.
Magneto, on the other hand, was so entirely different that she still shuddered about it to this day. Maybe because he was the one who poured his power into her, but it had been so intense and invasive that she felt like she was Erik, dying for a cause she believed in. With so much power, came the memories. His life flashed before her eyes. Everything from the youngest bit of memories, to the horrors of the holocaust. She remembers training her body to the point of exhaustion and learning the languages she knew were going to be important for tracking Shaw down. Meeting Charles and harnessing her powers to their greatest extent. Falling in and out of love with Mystique. All the hardships and separations with other women, but going back to her in the end. His children, not being there for his eldest son's birth, but raising him as her right hand... such a disappointment he turned out to be...
People dying was nothing new, but she remembered their faces well. The loss of life is nothing to just shrug off, but it was all for the mutant cause. A people- no, species would never be persecuted again.
"Now I've... changed. I've seen their lives before my eyes as if I had lived it, and I'm not some sixteen year old run away anymore. I'm not an 80 something holocaust survivor either, or sixteen year old football player, or a guy without his memories. But I'm not-not them either. They've all had a huge impact on me and I can't really be Marie anymore. I'm, I'm Rogue," she finished, hoping she made sense.
Charles stared at her for a good long minute while they both digested what she admitted. Finally he nodded.
"You are Rogue," he agreed. "But you are also still Marie. Simply a Marie who has matured with the knowledge you have gained. You still want to travel, despite all that you have seen from Erik's mind. You have simply matured at a faster rate than the rest of us."
Rogue—Marie, stared at Charles for a moment before smiling and nodding.
"Thank you Professor. Your insight never ceases to amaze me."
"It is my pleasure, my dear. Our session ran a little late so you might want to head to bed. You start defense training tomorrow."
"I'm still Marie!" Rogue exclaimed excitedly jumping onto Logan's bed.
"Hadn't realized you weren't," Logan grunted as she jostled him.
"No I mean in essence. You know how I had been scared about Erik's personality taking over, but Charles said that while I couldn't not be affected by what I had seen, I won't be taken over or anything either."
"I told you," Logan muttered.
"You said I was being stupid," Rogue said.
"Ha ha," she deadpanned.
"Go to sleep kid. You're getting up and early tomorrow."
"Why?" she asked, going under the covers. Logan stayed on top in case anybody walked in and got the wrong idea. And while the idea that someone could think that he was taking advantage of her made her mad, she could understand the precaution, and didn't argue with him. Plus, she knew that he couldn't get sick so she didn't worry about him getting a cold. He'd slept in much worse places just fine and Rogue knew that he was on cloud nine with the luxurious bed they provided him. Hell, after months on the road, so was she.
"Just want to keep those reflexes on check," he mumbled, already nodding off.
Logan hadn't been kidding. They were in the DR by six and despite the early hour and very little sleep she'd been getting the past week, she was excited that he was finally letting her into the Danger Room. They started immediately, Logan striking and Marie dodging. It was interesting to say the least. She had the reflexes of both experienced fighters.
Admittedly, she sucked. In the first ten minutes she got so many bruises that Logan had to stop to let her recover.
"Like I thought. You don't know how to move. You could be great at this, but you need to sort your head out," he said. Rogue blinked and sighed. It was true. One half of her wanted to do one thing, while the other wanted to do something else. When she finally did pick a move, it wasn't quite right, the moves practiced for a body much different than her own. It was distracting, it made her hesitate, it was confusing, and that was the reason she got her ass handed to her so badly. So Rogue closed her eyes and nodded.
"Alright. Round two," Logan declared when he saw her get into a stance. It was a little awkward and it looked like it needed a bit of an adjustment, but it was a pretty big step up from before where she was just fumbling around taking hits.
So after a quiet moment, Logan attacked.