I don't own Teen Titans.

I was editing chapeter four and replacing the old one with my new edited one and I accidently added it as chapter 5 osrry for the confusion ^_^

This chapter is pretty dark :/ So be warned also Ill probably move this to the first chapter later, tell me in a review if you want me to.

Chapter 4 Shades of Gray

By the way this is all set in the past ^_^ Garfield = Beast Boy/Logan

Garfield screamed at the top of his lungs from his cell.

"I want to go home!" He shook the bars. He didn't belong here he missed his home, the plants, the animals, the wide open sky, the smell of moss, and soil. Not here where it smelt of medicine, and bleach, and other strange smells that burned his nose when he breathed.

He tried shifting, but he couldn't. He tried over and over but he couldn't. He was trapped, and alone.

"Please somebody! Anybody help me!I don't belong here!" He shook the bars violently.

He saw a guard approaching and banged louder. Suddenly a blast of water hit him and he was knocked back into the back wall of the cell.

"Shut up brat or there more where that came from."

He sat there against the wall and tears streamed down his face. He curled in a ball and sat there

"Why wont anyone help me?" he whispered.

"No one will help you here brat." Garfield jumped at the rough voice.

"W-what do you mean?"

The voice laughed "No one has ever been saved from here kid. No one cares about the ones who end up here you see. The forgotten freaks, and monsters, is what they bring here boy, and you are never saved, and you can never leave."

"Y-you don't know that, I bet a hero will save us, t-they help people!L-like Superman, or the Doom Patrol, or Batman!"

The man rough laughed grew louder "Brat let me tell you something 'heroes' save people when it suits everyone else, they save the civil people, they save the corrupt mayors, the greedy politicians , the cutthroat business men that order murderers every day, the lying journalists,and the beautiful damsels in distress for the media coverage, and finally the mediocre civilians with nothing to their name but normalcy, , but us the refuse and garbage that is hidden under the rug of society. The people who have been shunned, and abandoned, and left alone, because we are the freaks and the monsters, are not saved. There are no 'heroes' brat there are no 'villains' for that matter either. Everything is not black and white kid its all gray."

"In fact at least 'villains' don't lie about what they are, at least some of them get rid of the real corruption. Those who think that this world is so cut and dry, are hypocrites. Like 'heroes' who lie to themselves everyday that they are doing the right thing when they are feeding corruption they aren't 'heroes' they are hypocritical fools, and they will not save us"

Garfield listened and his young mind processed the words. He stared at his hands, he then clenched them into fists.

"Y-you're wrong!" He stood up at yelled at the wall where the voice was coming from.

"Heroes are good people and they will save us. I'm sure of it!" Tears fell down his cheeks.

The man just laughed some more, and it echoed off the walls, and continued even after the guards yelled,it resonated within Garfield even as he cried himself to sleep, in his damp, and dirty cell. It would continue even through the silence, the pain, the loneliness, and the doubt. For it had planted its self in Garfield's soul.

Someone kicked him, and he woke up. They grabbed his arms and started to pull him out of the cell.

"H-hey who-o are you people!Where are you taking me?"He asked desperately the men ignored him.

That day he was processed.

He had to be held down by two men when they shaved his head. His emerald locks where then swept away. Without his hair he looked even smaller, he felt even smaller, he felt like he lost something very important, more important than hair.

He screamed, as they tattooed him. He didn't know what else to do. It hurt, he wanted it to stop.

They took his clothes,hosed his bare body down in a cement shower cell, and gave him gray sweat pants, and a white t-shirt,he didn't know what happened to his clothes, but he would never see them again.

Then they tossed him in a white room, and shut the door. That shut door felt somehow absolute. Even in such a blindingly white space it felt dark, cold, unfeeling.

He shivered. He ran his fingers over his tattoo 201 it read. He didn't know why this was happening to him. What this tattoo meant, why his head was shaved, why he couldn't live where he had been, why they took him away, he just wanted someone to help, someone to save him.

He struggled even more when he was strapped down. He couldn't see anything but the metal in front of him.

"Hmm drugs we gave him to stop his changing will be wearing off soon."a man muttered. "We must do it now."

The metal slab he was laying shifted until it was vertical..Out of his field of vision,a nurse nodded and brought over, a needle.

Garfield felt a cold wet cloth brush against his neck as another nurse swabbed his neck.

The nurse nodded at the one with a needle, who stepped forward .

"W-whats going on, Hey-y I smell s-something, what are you people doing!." He felt something slide into his neck, the pain was immense and tears ran down his face as he screamed and cried. Then suddenly all his nerves where alight and he screamed louder. Then there was something digging into his overactive nerves, it was clamped around his neck securely, he felt like it was choking him.

The panic, and pain was to much, he lost consciousness.

"Eliminate the target subject 201."

"No, I-ts wrong." a shock went through his body. "Its wrong, I can't. You can't make me!" the collar shocked him again.

"You can't make me." he whispered before he passed out.

Garfield cried silently in his room, he knew if he made the slightest noise he might come for him again that's how he learned to do everything silently.

He rocked back and forth. They put him in a smaller room again, because he wouldn't listen. They said if he just did what they asked then he wouldn't be locked in here again, that he would get better food, less shocks, and a better bed. If he just does what they tell him to.

He just wants to be saved, he wants someone anyone to help him! He needs a hero, that man can't be right! A hero will save him.

His hands went to his collar and he tugged at it as tears rushed down his small face. He tried to shift into a bird only for the collar to electrocute him violently.

"Shift denied." the collar chirped. He tried again "shift denied". Over and over he tried, then the door opened. His eyes widened and he backed his body into the corner of the small room.

The men roughly grabbed his arms, and dragged him out of the corner.

"No, No! Please not again!Please I can't do it! I swear I'll be good, I'll be quiet, but I can't!Please" his small voice cried out desperately as he thrashed in their hold.

"Subject 201, eliminate the target."

"I-I can't." Garfield stared at the cat wide eyed. It looked terrified, he could smell its fear. It was innocent, it felt wrong even to his young mind. A shock ran through his body.

His parents wouldn't have wanted him was his fault they died, so he had to do what they would have wanted from now on.

"Subject 201 eliminate the target."

He shook his head in defiance, and cried out when a shock ran through him twice as bad as the last.

"Subject 201, eliminate the target."

He felt something rise up in him and he yelled at the one way glass.

"I'm not Subject 201 I'm Garfield Logan." a shock ran through him again, and he fell to the ground.

"I'm G-Garfield L-logan-n"he whispered a shock ran through him again,and he knew no more.

Someone had to save someone has to help him. He's a good kid right? Hero's save good people, so they had to come save him right?

He couldn't feel as much hope in that fact anymore for some reason.

"Subject 201 eliminate the target."the robotic voice commanded.

He shook his head weakly, a shock of electricity passed through him violently and he whimpered.

"Subject 201 eliminate the target."

He didn't want to hurt again, he wanted it to stop they said if he was good it would stop. Maybe his parents would have been OK with it if he just did it once, just so he could stop the pain for a day. Just this once, he told himself.

"I'm sorry" he whispered.

"Shift approved." his collar chirped.

In a split second of motion, and mouth full of blood later the cat was dead.

"Good subject 201,elimination complete."

He was moved that night to a bigger room with an actual bed that night. Everyday after he killed the cat that was set in front of him then the target changed to a dog, then monkeys, then apes, and each time he justified it. Until the last one.

A disheveled man covered in scales sat chained to the wall. Logan stared at him. The man calmly smirked at him.

"Subject 201 eliminate the target."

"No I c-cant." a shock went through him. This is different from animals this is a person that's murder what bad people do. He couldn't do that.

"Subject 201 eliminate the target."

"This is different I can't!" A shock ran through him and he fell to his knee.

"So kid can't kill me eh? And it looks like some hero never saved you did they?" The man laughed.

Then it hit Garfield this was the man he had talked to through the wall.

"Look kid I'm tired, and I don't care just do it brat.I have no illusions I know I wont be saved so just kill me!Show me what monster they are releasing!" He smiled at Garfield, his fangs showing, he looked crazed. He then started laughing, Garfield could see the man had been driven to the edge and over it. He was past where Garfield was he was far gone, he wanted to die.

'Will I be like that one day?' Garfield wondered.'Will there come a day when I will want to die?'

"Subject 201 eliminate the target."

Garfield looked at the man, and stared him in the eyes, and it was over in a split second. He just let go, of hope, of the idea of heroes, the thoughts of escape,and he just eliminated the target.

In the end Garfield just didn't know the answer to that question.

"Subject 201-"

The command didn't have to finish and the man was dead. Garfield wiped the blood off his hand onto the man shirt, and stood there and waited. He felt guilty still about killing another. It gave him nightmares every night,he heard the laughter even in his dreams now.

'Maybe' Garfield thought, 'maybe I'm going crazy'.

Sometimes Garfield when he was alone, would listen, and he'd hear noises. Mutters, crying, pleading, he heard doctors discussing. Sometimes he'd hear someone on the other side of his wall at first it was a woman, she would weep, and moan. Then she was gone, and it was a man he would yell at the guards, curse to himself in some language Garfield couldn't understand, he stayed for a while, then he to was gone.

Then his favorite neighbor came, some girl, she had a beautiful voice, she always sang sad songs, until the guards would shut her up of course. Garfield liked her the best, but before long she too was gone.

After her there was another man, then a woman, then a boy, and sometimes there would be long silences between.

Garfield stopped listening to the sounds after a while,he let their noises become a blur, it felt better that way. It felt better to let everything become white noise.

"Y-your a m-monster." The man said before he killed him and he scowled, violently kicked the dead body.

"I'm not a monster."He growled to himself.

He killed day after day, because they made him, then they sent him on missions, when he was good enough, and he killed more people. He couldn't escape, he tried the first time, and they had tracked him down, and he was punished, they knew how to find him. He didn't understand how but they did.

He still wanted to escape though, the impossibility didn't stop the yearning. He wanted to leave, maybe some part of him still had hope,but not in heroes no never them, not ever again.

His hate grew with everyday hate for the ones behind this, hatred of heroes who never saved him. He felt it but never let it out never acted on it.

He wanted to, and that scared him. That he wanted to rip them apart, he wanted them to suffer. It made him feel guilty still even after all this time.

The sirens blared. He heard screams, blasts, and gunshots. Then it was silent. He heard walking doors opening and more shots. Whoever it was was outside his door, and he waited in the shadows for the door to open.

Then it did, and he attacked, and found himself on the floor under a steel toed shoe in a second.

"Hm a child." the man said staring down at Garfield. The man Garfield just noticed had a clip board in his hand.

"Subject 201, interesting a shape shifting ability" the man continued to read the chart to himself.

"Who are you?" Garfield asked not even trying to move from under the man foot.

"The better question is who are you?"

Garfield Logan his mind whispered"Subject 201." He gave the answer he was used to, it slipped out. How long had he been here how many times had he answered to that title 'Subject 201'. When had his automatic response become 'Subject 201'? Garfield couldn't remember, but what he did know it is defiantly wasn't his true name.

But then maybe some part of him felt like it was, the part that had given up.

"How disappointing." The man pulled out his gun and pointed it at Garfield. Garfield stared at the man still unafraid. He could tell this man then, this man would know who he is, he wanted someone to remember him, he wanted someone he could talk to, and tell how he truly felt.

"I lied mister. I'm not Subject 201. I'm Garfield Logan, I just want someone to know before I die."

The man lowered his gun slightly. He looked into Garfield's eyes with his one, and Garfield felt like after so long someone really saw him, or at least something more than an animal.

"Do you want to die?"

Do I?

No he felt it within himself he does not want to die.

"No I don't, I want to live, but I cant escape, it makes me angry, and frustrated. I hate being used here, I hate being lonely, I hate being a monster. But I know no one can save me, and no wants to, and you are here to kill us all because I heard it, so I know despite what I want that you will kill me." then Garfield smiled."I am glad you killed them before me though." hearing ones kidnappers die who took you from everything you knew, and made you into their lap dog did fill him with guilty satisfaction.

The man seemed to think before he put away his gun and removed his steel toed boot off Garfield.

"If truly don't want to die, if you want to be wanted, if you want to be something more than a beat dog ,then promise me your loyalty, promise me the life I am sparing you,promise me you will stay by my side forever, become my apprentice." His voice commanded attention,and Garfield listened intently entranced. He felt something within him, when he heard those words.

Garfield watched the building he had been so long burn. He felt a hand lay itself on his shoulder.

"Come Apprentice."

Its funny how the assassin paid to kill all the people of the compound saved me, it wasn't the 'hero' in the end, it was the 'villain'. That man was right the world isn't so black and white

He could still hear that man's laughter,Garfield had a feeling the man would have found all this hilarious.

"This will hurt." Wintergreen said to him.

Garfield nodded and tightened his jaw. Slade stood off to the side and watched.

His back tried to arch as the machine removed the collar but the restraints kept him still. It was so painful ,but he didn't scream, because Slade was watching. He had to be strong.

"Garfield Logan" he tasted the name on his tongue it felt wrong for him now. 'Garfield Logan', he didn't feel like that boy. Maybe like how he is no longer Subject 201, he is also not Garfield Logan anymore, no not Garfield Logan, maybe just Logan.

Logan, Slade's loyal apprentice now that seemed to fit.

This is the longest chapter I have ever written for anything. I hope you people know that lol. So this is the back sory of Logan for the story. Instead of seeking out and finding the Doom Patrol, he was captured and experimented on.

Why did Slade show up and kill everyone? Well he is a mercenary you know some one paid him of course. Someone probably covering their tracks by having all the people with in the compound killed. Of course Slade didn't kill all the people all by his self I imagine he probably had some Slade bots to help. Also he had the clip board because well it is a facility with some freaky characters there might be someone or something useful in there. Then he found Logan a boy hurt with much promise that he could easily mold. Sounds like a good apprentice to me.

Finally,that's why he goes by Logan people there you go ^_^.

Well read and review, and ask questions on anything. Tell me if you liked it, and yeah I felt dark while writing this ;P but it was fun.