I used to be an ordinary koala, and indeed, the night that changed my life began as any other. My innocence was unscathed at first, but it was all about to change.
I had been spending the day sleeping. I belong, of course, to a nocturnal species, so this was not out of my nature.
At dusk, I awoke to find the sunset welcoming me into the world, and another night was to hold me in its embrace.
I climbed down the tree I had been sleeping in, slowly walking off to find some food.
My diet is not adventurous, but I do not fret. To me, eucalyptus is delicious, and who am I to argue with my most basic of cravings?
It was at this point, however, things started to seem different.
As the sun disappeared behind the crowns of the magnificent trees, I could still not find anything to eat.
The eucalyptus trees around me had all been stripped bare.
I marched nervously over the hill that denoted the end of my usual feeding grounds.
I was heading off into foreign territories.
Hours passed, and I was still no closer to stilling my unsettled stomach.
I was since long ago in an area unknown to me.
Anything could be lying over the next hill.
And as it turned out, I was about to encounter something unimaginable.
I carefully paced onto a rock formation, finding myself looking over a hidden waterfall.
It was incomprehensibly beautiful, especially incomprehensible since my mind was occupied with reminding me of how hungry I was.
Somebody else had had the sense to make the most of the view, however.
Camouflaged against the pleasantly dark wood of the trees in the forest, a cosy-looking cabin was settled at the edge of the other side of the crevasse, a balcony cropping out to let the residents bask in the presence of this natural wonder.
I nervously edged around the rock I was standing on. I wanted to reach the other side of the waterfall, but the gaping ravine the flowing water had shaped over thousands of years hindered my approach.
Musing over my problem, something unexpected happened in the house across the waterfall.
A man, dressed in robes of white and brilliant gold colour, emerged onto the balcony.
He casually took his robe of, showing the world all his glory down to his gold-coloured pants, a silvery cross emblazoned across the front of them.
After this relaxation of attire, he sat down in a reclining chair.
I was intrigued. This development spurred me to go on further, and to my delight I discovered that a tree had fallen, further down the ravine, making a bridge for me to utilise in my approach to the sunbathing man.
I carefully walked across the fallen trunk; the image of the cross-covered genital area of the strange man's underwear overcoming my fears.
This was no small feat; as my paws were made for climbing, not walking.
Still I managed, and I found my way to the cabin, were a second man had appeared onto the balcony.
I watched with caution, but approached the balcony nonetheless, overhearing the conversation being held.
"…aren't you glad I purchased this holiday home? I just can't stand spending all my days in the dusty old halls of the Vatican," the first man said.
"I couldn't agree more, your holiness. Can I get you anything to drink?"
"Well, I guess I wouldn't mind a glass of red wine. Or, you know, the blood of Christ?" the man addressed as "your holiness" requested with a wink. "And could you get me a candle or something? It is getting quite dark."
"Certainly, I'll be right back, your holiness."
I was relieved. The other man was just a butler, and so my jealousy faded. I dared approach closer, but it was untimely. Just as I conceivably was in the peripheral of anyone on the balcony, the butler remerged with a glass of red wine and a purple candle.
"Oh look, your holiness! A koala!" the butler delightfully exclaimed, his finger rudely pointing at me.
I insecurely walked up to the balcony, and climbed a post of the railing, finding a comfortable position on top of it.
The butler slowly approached me, but the Pope stopped him.
"Would you care to leave us, Emanuel? Nothing personal, I assure you."
The butler was visibly hurt, but he did not let it show in his voice. "Certainly, your holiness. Just ring the bell if you want anything, I will now proceed to make supper. Would you care for a roast leg of lamb?"
"Oh, you are a genius, Emanuel. I will greatly appreciate that meal."
Emanuel's mood lightened and he walked back into the house with a smile on his face.
Now, the Pope turned his attention to me, staring into my eyes. His grey-brown eyes were tantalising, and I approached him.
"Oh what a delightful creature you are," he said with a smile. He sat up and spread his legs slightly, letting me admire the cross that adorned his crotch.
We were now in an arm's length from each other.
I could hear the desire on his breath, and I probably felt the same way he did as I watched his hairy chest heaving with anticipation.
He stretched his arm out and touched my furry ear gently. It was a delightful experience; his wrinkly skin was like velvet on my fur.
Suddenly, my stomach let out a far from sensual growl.
"Oh dear," the Pope exclaimed. "You must be hungry." He stroked my bare nose, running his fingers down my face and resting them under my chin, turning my face up to look at him. "Of course, you've had nothing but leaves to eat your entire life. Come, my child, and I will feed you some meat."
The Pope stood up, and placed his thumbs under the brim of his golden pants.
Tantalisingly slowly, he moved them down.
I shook with anticipation as I watched the show; first, his pubic hair, then, the shaft of his long, wrinkly, papal penis.
He pulled the pants down to his ankles and nonchalantly flicked them off, letting the waterfall carry them wherever it pleased.
I had never thought that I, a humble koala, would ever be this close to the penis of Pope Benedict XVI.
The Pope approached me, genitals first, and slowly caressed my rugged lips with the tip of his penis.
I opened my mouth ever so slightly, letting the papal penis reach in between my lips, but not much more.
The Pope withdrew his penis from my mouth, and I clutched the base of it with my furry, chubby fingers.
Next, I kissed his scrotum, working my way up to the tip of the penis.
Even though it was my first time with a human, I thought I was doing fairly well.
I decided to stop teasing the Pope and let him enter my mouth entirely.
As his penis hardened against the roof of my mouth, I could feel myself getting an erection as well.
Putting my other hand up to the Pope's penis as well, I balanced on my hind legs as I began vigorously jerking my head back and forth, rhythmically engulfing the Pope's penis all the way down to the base.
My mouth and throat were naturally numb from eating eucalyptus leaves, so; perhaps to the Pope's disappointment, I could easily perform my task without gagging.
The Pope now had a full erection, and I was getting hotter, physically hotter, as well, a problem accelerated by the fact that koalas don't sweat.
I ignored this, however, and continued rocking back and forth.
The smooth skin of the Pope's penis reached my lips with a steady rhythm, and I was sensing that he wouldn't hold out much longer.
Sure enough, the Pope soon pulled his penis out of my mouth and let his pearly white ejaculate dribble on to my face.
I was disappointed to know that the Pope's ejaculate did not rocket forth as I had dreamed it to; his old age seemed to have taken its toll there.
Nevertheless, the Pope knew of his sexual shortcomings, and was hovering closely above me as he came.
Not a drop of the papal cum missed my face, and I happily opened my mouth to receive.
After three bursts, the Pope was satisfied with himself, and sat down on his reclining chair, putting his wine glass to his lips.
"Thank you, my child. I feel now that my Australian holiday has had a purpose," he said with a sensual smile, and slowly lay down, exhausted from the vigorous oral sex he had just experienced.
I licked my face, catching the pearly white drops that were trailing down my fur, and wished that I could speak the human tongue so I could thank him.
But, I reminded myself, as I walked back across the balcony and climbed the railing again to begin my journey back to my nest; the tongue that I was born with seemed to fulfil the Pope's needs perfectly.
"Goodbye, my child," the Pope exclaimed as I walked out into the black night. "Maybe we will see each other again, and I can reimburse you for this."
And maybe we will see each other again. But that would be another story.