Hi, this sis my first story. So let me know what you think.
Disclaimer: I do not own the host.
I felt comfortable. I felt safe. For the first time in a long time, I felt at peace. I didn't feel the compulsive need to look over my shoulder or stand guard at the door, waiting to grab Jamie and run. I just felt….happy.
And it's all because of him. Jared…my Jared. My Jared would never let anything hurt me. I feel safe and happy with Jared. I haven't felt like that since my Dad was with us. Where I could trust not only my life, but Jamie's life too, his humanity.
I entrust Jamie's life with Jared because I know nothing will ever happen. Jared would rather die than let anything happen to Jamie.
Jamie. I could hear his soft snores from other room. We were staying at an abandoned house for the night, and then leaving early in the morning. Poor Jamie was tired out from a long travel; he was pretty much asleep before his head hit the pillow. He was sleeping like the dead now.
Jared and I were on the couch. I'm cuddled into his side. His was arm is around me, his hand was tracing up and down my arm, leaving a trail sparks in its midst. And I've never felt more…perfect…..in my life. Even though I know there's a possibility that this moment could end in minute, it surprisingly doesn't change how I feel.
I wonder if he feels it too. The wonderfulness of this moment. Of being together. I hope he does. Because I'm going to need all the help I can get.
It's shocking how much Jared insist we wait on being together. We are pretty much at the end of the world. And all we have is today. Not even today. All we have is right now.
I turn my head to look at him. I take in his brown sun bleached hair, making it almost look golden. His tanned skin. His long, thin nose. The sharp curve of his jaw. The fullness of his lips. I save my favorite for last. His eyes. His honey, sienna eyes. With golden flecks. He is beautiful.
I find him staring back at me. Taking in my face. His fingers softly trace my cheek. I shudder. I cup his neck, pulling his lips to mine. I sigh.
While I love him holding me, nothing beats feeling his lips against my own. His full lips capturing my own. Tracing them, before finally taking them. Never letting them go until they're swollen. Our ragged breathing. His warm breath washing over my face. My fingers tangled in his soft hair. His softly tracing my overheated cheeks and neck. Oh, yes, I love this.
I slowly untangled my fingers from his hair. Letting them trace down his neck, his shoulders, down to his back. I can feel his muscles moving under my hands. I can feel the warmth through his shirt. I move my hands slowly under his shirt, wanting to feel his skin. I let my hands roam his back, feeling his muscles twitch under my hands as I go higher. It wonderful, but it's not enough. I slightly tug his shirt up more, hoping to pull it off. But, as I figured, he captured my hands in his own, pulling away from my lips.
"Melanie." Jared sighed, still slightly out breath.
The way he said my name, it was disapproving, yet I could hear that wasn't only for me. It was also for him. He wanted this too. He wanted me.
"Don't." I whispered. "Don't."
I pulled his lips back to mine. He allowed it, but was still tense. After a moment he pulled away.
"Mel, we can't." He whispered against my lips.
"Please, Jared. We can."
"No. We can't, not now."
"Jared. All we have is now. We can't guarantee tomorrow. We can't guarantee we'll have another moment together like this. All we have is right now." I whispered softly. My hands were still in his shirt; I lightly caressed his back.
"Mel." He groaned softly. I could feel his resistance wavering as his grip lightened on my hands.
I could see the raging war going on in his head through his eyes. His want battling his mind telling him no. I could also see that the want was winning. He knew I was right. That we could never know when or if one of us could get taken. That one minute could show up and we could never see each other again. Never to be able to hold each other in our arms. To never to be able to caress each other's faces. Or simply just be with each other. I could see that the want had won.
So with one last surrendering groan, he let me pull the rest of his shirt off, and softly laid us down on the couch.
I shook my head, trying to get that memory out. While also being a little grateful Melanie didn't go any further into the memory.
You know, to try to get me to fall out of love with Jared you might want to stop showing me memories of him.
I know. Melanie sighed. But this time I'm not trying to get you to fall out of love with him. I have another reason for showing you that.
Oh? And what is that?
The sound of a baby crying cut her off. Making another cry cut into the air. Well, they are awake.
I got up from my spot on the kitchen counter and padded quietly across the hallway. Opening the last door at the end. There they were, the light of my life. I walked over to the left, to my son's crib. He was still crying, I picked him up in my arms and rocked him as I walked over to his crying sister's crib. I picked her up and bounced back and forth on my feet, shushing them until they no longer sobbed.
Their wails finally quieted down after a moment. "There. Now what was the big problem again? Hmm?" I cooed to them.
I looked down at my son. Aiden Anthony Howe. Of course that's not his birth certificate says, that says, 'Aiden Anthony Stryder', I couldn't risk the Seekers finding Jared. Or knowing anything about him.
Aiden's is the oldest. Beating his sister by six minutes. He looks pretty much like me. Same muddy hazel eyes, same dark hair. But he has Jared's facial structure. His jaw, his nose. His sister, Maecella Jane, looks like Jared. Same sienna eyes, same brown hair, just not sun bleached, same full lips. Everything. The only thing she has of me is her little nose.
Also like their father, my favorite part about them is their eyes. Their human eyes.
At the hospital, I was offered a choice. To either put a soul in my babies or I could keep them human. The Healers recommended I put a soul in my babies, saying that they would put a baby soul in them, but that they would be more, well behaved. But I chose to keep them human, I wanted them the way they were.
The Healers, of course, went with my wishes. Saying that when they were a little older that would be fine. I just nodded. But when I looked into their eyes, I knew I could never put a soul in my babies. Seeing their innocent eyes, I could never replace that with a soul, I could never have them erased.
Looking down at them now, my decision still hasn't changed. I still want them to have their own lives. And when the time came, I would have to find a way how to save them.
This, Melanie said, looking through my eyes at the babies. This is why I showed you that memory. They need a father, a protector.
I know. But how am I supposed to give them that? Do you want me to go out and find one? Because I can't do that. To them or to Jared.
No. We're going to find Jared.
How? I thought you won't let me see the map to wear they are at.
I didn't show you because I needed to be sure that you wouldn't turn around on us.
And how do know that I won't now?
Because you love them too much. She said surely.
And with that, I was shown another memory. The memory of the map where Jared and Jamie is.