Afterthoughts

The first time his name slipped out of her mouth, she didn't really think about it. She was just so angry about this new guy they had set in front of her nose, behaving like he knew better than her. Like he was the boss of her somehow. She had worked her ass off to get into this office, who did he think he was?

This was not the way they were doing things around here, building up red tape for their enemies. Yes, they were lawyers and they used the law to get what they wanted, but a considerable amount of actions were definitely off the grid, and for a reason. They used dark magics and demons to accomplish their goals. And he wanted to get Angel out of the hotel because of lease violations? Oh please. That was ridiculous. She liked to fight with hard bandages, to show their enemies who they were messing with. Wolfram and Hart wasn't your usual law firm. They wouldn't have anyone walk over them. And she knew Lindsey would've thought the same.

The second time she said his name though, she noticed. "I have this office, because I earned it, as did Lindsey. He sacrified his flesh and blood for this company, literally had his hand cut off fighting against Angel. What are you doing? Building code violations."

Only as she had shut her office door behind here with a loud bang did she realize she had actually praised Lindsey. "God, what is this guy doing to me", she mumbled and sat down at her desk.

It took some more hours of boring paperwork until she finally realized that she missed him.

She shook her head in disbelief. Lindsey and her had never been close. They had been rivals almost from the beginning, only brought together by their boss to work together reluctantly. He was a dangerous man, smart and willing to walk over dead bodies to get what he wanted – just like herself. But they had also both worked under immense pressure, always in the fear of failure. Sometimes she'd even thought he was the only person in the world who could really understand what it was like.

And now that she was working right next to Gavin Park, a man she had no respect for and who gave her chills whenever she talked to him, she almost wished for Lindsey to come back. They had had clashes and controversies, lots of them, but they could work together when they had to. They could've played this their way. He would've understood.

She sighed and leaned back in her office chair.

And then there was the tiny fact that he had saved her life. Maybe he hadn't even planned to, but he had. She had some feeling he even knew about that gun in her purse. Him leaving was the only reason she was now sitting at this desk and had to struggle with Gavin Park instead of rotting in an unmarked grave. She chuckled silently. What a paradox.

Maybe she didn't even hate him as much as she'd thought. They had been rivals, but they had also been the equals of each other, always plotting, trying to outsmart the other. They had thought and acted along the same lines. Now she almost smiled as she remembered her numerous encounters with him. Could you stab me in my back a little deeper? I still have feeling in my legs. Until now, she hadn't even noticed how her anger from back then had faded away.

And of course he was a handsome man, she was a woman after all, though with all the work, sometimes she forgot. He was a bit small maybe (she remembered how she loved to wear high heels around him just to put him on edge), but he had charme when he wanted to. And damn pretty blue eyes.

Guess I should've realized that a bit earlier, she thought dryly. Maybe they could've had wild desperate sex when things had started to go downhill. Not that that would've helped the situation.

Well, he was gone, drove back to Oklahoma or wherever he came from. In the end, she had suceeded and gotten the job she always wanted, vice-president of Special Projects. Not that she earned it, he had practically tossed her his promotion.

She threw another look at the file on her desk and sighed. Screw paperwork. She'd better think about how she would kick Gavin Parks ass, preferably right out of the firm, or window, whatever came first. That's what Lindsey would've done. Although he probably would've punched him first.

She smiled to herself.