I thought she was beautiful. She was undoubtedly the most precious thing that I had ever seen. It wasn't long before I wanted her to be mine.
It wasn't long before I loved her.
But I was stupid, and gullible. I was too naive. My head was too far up in the clouds.
When I asked her to be with me, the fear in her eyes struck pain in my heart. She chuckled nervously and coldly, and asked me how in the world could a creature like me ever have a chance of being with her. How could someone as gorgeous as her ever love something as pitiful as me?
The rejection killed my soul, and crushed my will. She walked away with her beautiful and elegant light, leaving me to fade away in the darkness.
Could I ever love again?
My dreams turned to nightmares.
I tried to forget her, but I couldn't. No matter what, I always thought of her. No matter what I did to get rid of her, be it the drugs, or the alcohol or my failed suicide attempts, no matter what I did to myself, I still loved her. But how could I love a cold-hearted angel?
I hated myself. When I saw myself in the mirror, I saw what she saw, and I hated it. But when I looked at her, she was still bright and beautiful. No matter what I did to get rid of that face in the mirror, it wouldn't go away. And it only got worse over time.
But she still glowed like the sun, and smiled happily at the beautiful world around her. She was luminous and elegant, and everything she did was lovely. It was obvious that she could never love something like me.
And instead, she fell in love with someone who glowed like she did.
The two of them were like two suns, surrounded by stars, while I was the lonely moon. While my world was dark and cold and lonesome, their world was always shining, and they were the perfect idol image of love. I hated that they were so perfect together, and I hated how she and I would have been so off-balance and wrong. I hated how he always made her smile, giving her flowers, but yet when I offered her the world, she spat on me, and left me in the cold to wither away.
And yet, somehow, I still loved her.
She was an angel, in love with another angel, and I was some hideous, disgusting demon of the darkness. She was beautiful, and when I saw her, all I saw was her beauty.
But, when she looked at me?
She saw a monster.
So I became one.
Over time, I saw the darkness in my soul consume me, bit by bit, pulling me deeper with each passing day. Soon it came to the point where I couldn't even think for myself without that darkness whispering madness into me. I tried to control the insanity, but it was too strong. When it got strong enough, I finally stopped fighting it; I let the darkness live inside of my being, let it be part of me.
The darkness is all I am now.
When that darkness and fear and anger had all consumed my soul inside of me, it continued to grow. It grew through my pores, becoming my body, and not just some spirit in my body. Each day, my skin grew darker, my form grew thinner, I grew uglier.
The turmoil that was once inside me sprouted and consumed everything. When there was nothing more inside for it to take over, it took to my outer body.
I am the darkness, inside and out.
Behind my eyelids at every second of everyday are the nightmares. They seem to constantly grow darker and colder, but I stopped fighting it as soon as I let the darkness in. As soon as I surrendered to that darkness in me, it became who I am, and it controlled my dreams, my monstrous appearance and soul.
But it can't change my emotions, my actions or my thoughts.
I'm still me inside here somewhere. I can feel it, but while I like to think that I gave myself up to the darkness, I know I'm still in here somewhere. Despite that, I fight with the darkness against the world.
I roam the world now, alone with my dark insanity, spreading nightmares and madness wherever I go. I travel by night, sleep through the day, and avenge those who are now what I was; a sad, lonely reject of the beautiful world.
I won't deny it. She still crosses my mind from time to time. The darkness tells me to not love her, and I try, but there still is some longing. I tell myself everyday, I hate her, I hate her, why the hell don't I hate her?
The feelings are there, but I mask them with that darkness. One day, I will cross her path again. And when I do, I will get my revenge on her. I will show her all the pain and insanity that she has caused me. She will suffer the way I suffered; filling her mind with the nightmares I had endured, the pain I had inflicted upon myself, the heartbreak that she put me through, she will suffer every ounce of hurt that I had to suffer. Then, I might as well let her suffocate in darkness as well as I did. Just let her go into the world that I am now in, and let her die there.
Not just her, her lover and everyone in this world who had looked down on me and pitied me and spat on me, everyone who thought I was useless and not a threat will be proven wrong. And they will suffer through all the hell that I had to put up with. But unlike me, they won't survive to see the end of it.
There is no light at the end of the tunnel for me. It's just dark, and the deeper I go, it gets darker. At the end, it's all just infinite darkness.
I look at the mirror now, and while I used to hate what I was, I now smile at it. I have accepted the darkness inside me and let it prosper. I feel stronger than I have ever been. If she could see me now, she would run away screaming, calling me a demon and that I need to go back to the hell that I came from.
But now, I don't care. I am proud of the monster I am now, because the thing that I used to be would never have been strong enough to stand up to any of them, and was forced to stay inside everyday of his life.
Until that day comes when I avenge my past self, I still roam the globe, leaving nightmares and spreading the darkness and madness and the insanity. I leave chaos in my wake, and just before I move on to the next destination, I turn to see the work that I have done. And I am proud.
If I happen to pass where you live, you'll know. All those who thought they were better than everyone will be encased in darkness, forced to endure the nightmares and the pain of the modest and weak. The modest and weak will be given the opportunity to see those stronger than them in their weakest state; whether or not they take advantage of that will be up to them. There will be chaos, and all will have to deal with the madness inside them, each and every one of them having their own darkness to fight. Whether or not they fight or surrender will be up to them, and they will have different fates.
We were all human in the beginning. I was innocent like everyone else when we were born. Sometimes, we stay human. Other times, we become angels. Or, if you're like me, you become a monster.
I wasn't always a monster, but sometimes a monster, disguised as an angel can change everything. Now, I just am what I am.
I am the darkness.
I am a monster.
I am Darkrai.
I've always wanted to write a Darkrai fanfic, so I decided to write about how one was created.
I might just write an actual story about this Darkrai, and how he tracks down the girl and gets his revenge on everyone. It'll probably be a darker story. The title that I have right now is "A Darkrai's Revenge." I might think of something better, but for now, whatever.
Anyway, I just kind of pulled this one out of my magic hat, it only took me this morning to type it up, so, yeah, here you go.