So, last chapter, how weird is that?
I haven't started my new story yet, so I don't know when I'll start posting it either. It will come, I promise that much. (For the record, most of you choose the farmer story, so I'll start with that one.)
I'm hoping to write a lot in July, so maybe in the beginning of august? But who knows?
Enjoy this last chapter, Thank you all for reviewing!
And special thanks for themuse19, for being the best beta a writer could ask for! :)
SB CH 15
Kurt had tried. He had really, honestly tried. In the beginning he had even gotten up early to mess up the bed in the living room so it at least looked like it had been slept in. It had lasted two weeks, until Emma asked 'why that stupid bed was still there is she wasn't going to get a baby brother or sister anyway'. (They had that awkward conversation after Cooper left, and it had ended with Kurt declaring she should just ask for cousins the next time she saw Cooper. It had been his fault he had to have that conversation with her anyway.)
So he had called his dad to pick up the bed, and that had led to another awkward conversation. In the end his dad had hugged both men and told Blaine to take care of Kurt and Emma, which Blaine had promised he would do.
Summer had flown by, and Kurt couldn't remember the last time he had been this happy. Blaine living with them was… almost perfect. Of course they argued every now and then (He couldn't deny it, he might have started some of these arguments on purpose; the make-up sex was just too good.), but most of the time it just felt… right. Coming home to someone, to his family, still made Kurt's stomach do back flips.
Emma's kidney was working great, and she wouldn't need to go for another check-up for the next three months. Everything seemed wonderful, except for one thing, the thing that had been looming at the back of his mind for the last week, the one thing he had been ignoring, and really shouldn't anymore. It wasn't like there was anything that would happen to change the facts. Summer was coming to an end and Blaine was going back to New York. They hadn't talked about it, but Kurt knew it was happening, and he hated it. He didn't want Blaine to leave, but he couldn't ask him to stay either. It wouldn't be fair to Blaine, his career.
Currently they were lying on a picnic blanket in the park. Emma was playing with her friends, and Kurt and Blaine were enjoying the sun and each other's company. They tried not to get too cuddly, it was still Lima, after all, but Kurt couldn't help the stolen kisses and subtle touches every now and then. It could be another one of their picture perfect moments of the summer, but Kurt couldn't help himself. "When are you going back?"
"Hmm?" Blaine rolled on his stomach and propped himself up on his elbows to gaze at Kurt. "Back to where?"
"Home… I mean, New York," Kurt said, biting his lip and looking away.
"Oh…" Blaine cocked his head and played with the fringes of the picnic blanket. "Do you want me to go?"
"No, Honey, no!" Kurt shook his head. "I don't, but school is starting again in two weeks so that means summer break is over, and I just… We should talk to Emma about this. I don't think she really grasps the fact that you're only here for the summer." He'd rather postpone the inevitable talk, and the tears that would surely follow, but he couldn't do that forever. He couldn't wait until a day before Blaine left. That would be even more horrible for Emma." And I want to know where we stand."
Blaine bit the inside of his cheek and rolled back onto his back, staring at the sky above him.
"I heard you talking on the phone a few days ago, with your boss, I think? You said you'd be in touch next week."
"Oh, you heard that?" Blaine was still staring at the sky. "What did you hear exactly?"
"Really? That's great, I mean, wow, I can't believe it!" Blaine said into the phone, an ear-to-ear smile adorning his face.
Kurt knew he shouldn't be eavesdropping. He was pretty sure Blaine wouldn't mind if he just walked into the living room, but something stopped him.
"I can't believe it. Man, I can't believe I got the job." Blaine looked really happy, and as much as Kurt wanted to keep him here, he knew Blaine belonged in New York.
"I'm guessing they offered you another role? Maybe the lead and not just the understudy?" Kurt tried to suppress his disappointed sigh. He was proud of Blaine, really! "I mean, that's… that's great. I'm really proud of you and all."
"Kurt, I love you," Blaine started.
"I know, I love you, too, but I get it. It's Broadway, of course I get it, it's just… this summer has been so perfect, I'm gonna miss you so much." Kurt shook his head and closed his eyes to stop the tears.
"What?" Kurt suddenly sat up and stared down at Blaine who was still gazing at the sky.
"They wouldn't give me a two-month break, Kurt. I was just the understudy, so I quit my job before I came here."
"I need you to know I did it for Emma, and I would do it again in a heartbeat." Blaine finally moved his head to look at Kurt. "I don't regret it."
"Why didn't you tell me?" Kurt bit his lip. He couldn't believe Blaine had quit his job. He had just… he had given up on Broadway.
"Because I knew you'd feel bad, because I knew you'd feel guilty." Blaine shrugged as he looked back up at the sky. "Do you remember what I told you back when you visited me in New York?"
"You told me a lot that weekend," Kurt answered hesitantly.
Blaine hummed in agreement. "I told you that Broadway is just a job. I mean, I loved it, and I love that I could make a living out of something that felt like a hobby, but it's just a job. I told you if I found the right man I'd have no problem giving it up and following him wherever."
"No," Kurt shook his head fervently. He saw where this was going and just… "No! Blaine I can't let you do that. It's Broadway! You can't give that up for me."
Blaine shrugged. "It's just a job, Kurt. I can get a job here. The call you overheard, that was about a job. They're looking for a music teacher at an elementary school nearby."
"Blaine, you can't just… I mean, not for me! I'm not worth giving up Broadway for!" Kurt was struggling to wrap his mind around this. Part of him wanted to tackle Blaine and never let go, celebrate that there was a chance Blaine was staying, Blaine would be with him. But another part of him wouldn't accept it. He couldn't be this lucky. He couldn't let Blaine give up Broadway for him.
"I knew you'd say that, but that's okay." Blaine shrugged. "You'll give in eventually. You can't change my mind, Kurt. I got the job, I have to come in next week to see my classroom and discus schedules and all."
"No, I'm sorry but you don't get to say no to this. It's my decision. I want to be here, for you of course, and for Emma. Even if we… I mean… I don't want to, but if you don't want to be with me, I still want to be close for Emma. I can't just go back to New York and lose her all over again."
"You wouldn't lose her," Kurt says, softly. "We'd be in touch; we'd come to visit you. I promised I wouldn't take your daughter away from you."
"I know, but it wouldn't be the same. I'd get to see her maybe once a month, if I'm lucky. I don't want that." Blaine shook his head and looked straight at Kurt, who swallowed audibly as Blaine continued. "Now I know we agreed on the summer, and God, Kurt, I love you. I'd love to stay together, I'd love to keep dating you, but I get that you didn't expect this. I've also been looking into apartments close by. I won't be far away, and I want to see Emma as much as possible, obviously, and you, if you want me."
"Oh, Blaine," Kurt shook his head and grabbed Blaine's hand, intertwining their fingers. He looked down on them and sniffled softly. "I'll always want you."
"Good," Blaine smiled, even if it didn't reach his eyes. "That's good."
Kurt shook his head as he stared off into space. He knew he should be happy. Blaine was staying! He should be euphoric. He should be dancing around the park screaming how much he loved the man from the top of his lungs. Blaine did everything he never dared to hope for, not after Chandler. Blaine stayed; he chose his family above his career. It's just that… He didn't get it. He didn't know why he didn't feel like dancing and screaming. They had decided on the summer, and nothing after that, it was only logical Blaine was making plans for after the summer. Only, now that Kurt knew Blaine was staying, he wanted more. He didn't want Blaine making all these decisions on his own. He wanted Blaine to discuss them with Kurt. He wanted Blaine to talk to him about these things, to confide in Kurt instead of just… telling him.
A week later Kurt was sitting in the back yard and absentmindedly flipping through some random magazine. He was sitting on a blanket, his back against a tree. Emma was playing in her sand box with Lady and paying no attention to him. She waved excitedly when Blaine came to join them, but her attention was quickly back on her sandcastle.
"So… How was it?" Kurt asked.
"Great!" Blaine beamed as he sat down next to Kurt, pressing a kiss against his lips. "It's amazing. I get to decorate my own classroom and I get a bunch of instruments to use. Granted, most of them are old and worn, but I can make something out of them. I need to find someone to tune the piano."
"That's great," Kurt answered. He was honestly happy to see Blaine so excited about his new job.
"I… uh, I also got a call for one of the apartments."
"Yeah, I've got a viewing appointment tomorrow afternoon," Blaine said hesitantly. "Will you come with me?"
Kurt was silent for a while, looking at Emma. "I…" He didn't know what to say. He still didn't like the fact that Blaine had just decided all of this without consulting him. It didn't feel right. They were a couple; shouldn't couples talk about these kinds of things? He didn't want a repeat of his experience with Chandler, where they never talked to each other. He wanted more from his relationship with Blaine. He didn't want to be left in the dark like had happened with Chandler. He wanted to know what Blaine was thinking, feeling, why he chose to stay. "I guess so."
"You don't have to," Blaine answered softly. Kurt could hear the disappointment in his voice. "I just… I mean, you said we'd still be together, right? So I want you to like it there as well. I want you to feel at home there."
Kurt raised his eyebrows. "Oh."
"I mean… you still want that, right? You still want me?"
"If I said no, would that change your plans?" Kurt asked coldly.
"I… no," Blaine answered, and this time Kurt could hear the hurt, see it in the way his voice trembled, the way he shied away from Kurt. "It wouldn't change the fact that there's still Emma, and I want to be close to her." He could hear Blaine sniffling. "I… I love you. That wouldn't change either."
"Oh, God, Blaine," Kurt bit his lip, guilt flooding through him. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you." He pulled Blaine into a hug. "I love you, too."
"I… don't you want me here?" Blaine asked, his voice still soft. "I just… I want to be close to you. I want to really give us a chance."
"Me too," Kurt hesitated. He might as well be honest, right? "I just, I hate that you decided all of this without even talking to me. I mean, I get the Broadway thing. You quit before we even happened, but I don't get why you didn't talk to me about the teaching, or the apartment. I… I acted so cold because for a moment there I thought you only stayed with me because of Emma."
"I'm not," Blaine denied. "I just… I didn't want to assume anything. We agreed I'd stay 'til the end of the summer, and I didn't want to overstay my welcome, so I figured I'd make plans for after the summer."
Kurt nodded. "I just wish you'd included me in these plans."
"I'm sorry," Blaine apologized. "I didn't… I didn't want to assume anything. I mean, I hoped, but I didn't…"
"I know." Kurt was silent for a moment. "Come here?" He opened his arms and smiled when Blaine settled between his legs, back against chest. "Can we at least talk about it now?"
"Yeah, of course. What first?"
"The job. I didn't know you like teaching?"
"Oh, yeah!" Blaine smiled enthusiastically. "I got a teaching degree. It was always my plan. If Broadway didn't work, I had no talent for it or I got too old. I always planned on teaching."
"So it's something you love, right? You're not just… settling." Kurt asked, hesitant.
"No, I… I mean, I love it, I really do, but at the end of the day it's just a job. I'd rather settle for a job instead of for love. I mean, I can't' have you and Emma in New York, so I want to be here. I'd clean out garbage cans if it meant I could stay here."
"Blaine!" Kurt pulled at his curls playfully.
"I would!" Blaine protested. "But I got lucky, I guess. I found a job I love close to the family I love. It's a win-win."
"Good, that's good." Kurt started twirling Blaine's curls between his fingers. He loved Blaine's hair, especially when it wasn't held down by any product. He loved running his hands through it. He didn't even mind it when it almost suffocated him at night because he was spooning behind Blaine and his curls were all over Kurt's face.
"No." Kurt shook his head and pressed a kiss against Blaine's neck. Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. He vaguely smelled Blaine's cologne, his soap, but mostly he just smelled Blaine. "The apartment. Why… I mean… you never even said anything about moving out. I mean, if it's too crowded here, or you want your own space, I get it, but…"
"Kurt?" Blaine's voice was soft, unsure. "I didn't… I mean, I didn't think of it as moving out. I just, assumed that's what you expected? You asked me here for the summer, not… I mean."
"Yeah, but, that was before," Kurt shook his head and buried his face in Blaine's neck as he tightened his grip on the man. "I can't imagine…" He couldn't imagine not having this. Not waking up to Blaine, not coming home to him. He couldn't imagine having to schedule time together.
"What?" Blaine murmured. "Tell me."
"No, sorry. I'm being selfish. Of course you want your own place."
"I… do you want me to get my own place?"
Kurt's heart skipped a beat. His answer was barely audible, just a whisper. "No."
Blaine turned around in his arms and grinned at him. "Just to make sure, you're officially asking me to move in with you, right?"
"You're already living here," Kurt replied. "You're stuff is all over our bedroom."
Blaine pressed a kiss against Kurt's lips. "Let me rephrase this then. You're really asking me to bring all the rest of my stuff from New York to Lima, to let me put it all over our house, to let me pay half of the rent. You're asking me to stay?"
Kurt's smile broadened with every word. "I'm asking you to stay."
"Good." Blaine pressed another kiss against his lips and turned back around, so he was resting against Kurt's chest again. "Hey, Ems, guess what?"
"What?" She looked up from her sandcastle with a curious expression.
"Daddy's staying with us," Kurt answered before Blaine could.
"He's been staying with us all summer," Emma answered as she focused her attention back on her castle, scolding at Lady for swinging with her tail enthusiastically, which had ruined half of the castle.
"Yeah, but like… He's staying…" Kurt didn't know how to explain it, how to tell her.
"Forever," Blaine completed his sentence.
"Forever," Kurt agreed. "Sounds good, Ems?"
She looked back up at them with a smile. "Yeah. I like having my daddies with me."
"Good." Kurt tightened his grip on Blaine, pressing a series of kisses against his neck. "Forever, I like that."
"Me, too." Blaine sighed as he sagged against Kurt, relaxing under the caressing touch. "Sounds like a plan."