AN.

Hey Guys I've figured out how to post from my phone so I'm gonna try to write more. This Story involves an issue I personally deal with. Trichotillomania or Trich or obcessive Hair pulling. I'll prob do more stories involving this so I encourage you to learn about it.

Clumsy

Fading Flame

1,2,3

Strands float to the floor

1,2,3

Tears fall from her eyes

She was bullied again today for something beyond her control. She came home and cried, locking herself in the bathroom for another pulling session. she cant remember when she began pulling, though she knows she was young. Probably around 5 or 6 is when it really started. At first it was just playing with her hair, picking out the imperfect bits. But then at 8 she was raped by an uncle, someone she trusted. The pulling intensified. Then a school bully and his friends attacked her raping her and using her, beating her and abusing her, verbally, mentally, and physically. She feared school after that. But she could never tell anyone of these thingsfor fear of the happening again. She was afraid, ashamed, embarrassed, upset. She had been used. She was dirty, tainted. But she put a solid mask on never to tell anyone. Eventually she would but receive love from her friends something she hadnt anticipated, but the pulling never stopped, it slowed but never stopped, but she never remembered pulling until she was older. Finally she found out what it was when the pulling intensified again. The bald spots appeared, she covered them the best she could, but they still saw. They bullied her for it. She felt alone in the world.

She opened the door hoping to escape to her room, But they stop her and shes bullied again by the family who is supposed to love and support her. Finally she is able to escape and locks herself away in her room. She lays back on the soft bedding her hands wander to her hair. She begins pulling, one by one strands float to the ground creating piles beside her, the tears follow each pull. The pulling doesnt hurt its the shame of doing it. She's also hurt inside far beyond what anyone knows. Yet she says nothing, She refuses to say for fear of hurt and humiliation but what she does say loses her everything. Not once can she do anything right but no one cares. She puts on a mask everday to hide the pain and grief, a silent vigal. THe hairs pile beside her not making a noticeable dent in her thick hair but making a on her emotions and thoughts and feelings. No one knows what she feels because she keeps it all bottled up because saying means 2 things: getting hurt or hurting someone. So she doesnt say rather keeps it all bottled up. She wants the blade but pushes against the urge, her nails are bleeding from chewing them, she's a mess and hates life. No one is left to save her because no one cares. Someday her already fading flame will extinguish and no one will care, and eventually all will forget she existed.

Maybe today will be that day. The time felt right. The time had come to extinguish the flame and let it die and eventually the smoke will fade and clear, the candle like her ends. A life ends and the memory eventually fades and clears and like the candle is never remembered again. She takes the bottle of pillsswallowing each pill savoring her last moments, the notes were written, her final goodbyes, some for those whom brought this about, some for those whom she cares about. She rises dressed in her favorite pjs, she blows out the candles, put on some soft music, and lays on her bed. She drifts into a quiet, peaceful sleep from which she will never wake. Her flame goes outlike the candles and eventually her memory will fade like smoke.

AN

So many are lost from bullying and abuse everyday. I hope this fic brings to life exactly what can happen when you abuse or bully someone. Trich is involved because so many including myself have been bullied because of it. I do encourage people to learn about it. I hope you all enjoy this fic and idk if it will make you cry but I did writing it. it came to my brain and I had to write it. look for more stories and chapters on stories to come soon. Than you all of my readers and fans. Love ya 3

Clumsy