Il était une fois, Gaston était assis dans son fauteuil, regardant joyeusement dans le feu pendant qu'il buvait sa boisson préférée ... Oh, attendez, vous ne parlez pas français. Une seconde ...
Here we go.
"No one sips their favourite drink like Gaston!" declared Gaston LeGume, shooting his winning smile at his stooge LeFou. "Do they, LeFou?"
"Of course, Gaston," replied LeFou. "You don't need me to tell you that."
"That's true," boomed Gaston, gesturing widely with his left arm and knocking LeFou to the floor. Gaston then rested his muddy boots, fresh from hunting, on LeFou's back, and leaned back in his chair. "I only need you as a footrest."
"Nobody uses LeFou as a footrest like Gaston," laughed Gaston. "Ah... LeFou. Tell me, when do you think Belle will come crawling back to me?"
"Soon enough, Gaston," LeFou wheezed. "Nobody could resist your charms."
Gaston removed his feet from LeFou's back and sat up from his chair. "I know," he said, swaggering over to his three blonde followers, who were presently sat at a bar table. They all sighed in union as Gaston pulled up a chair opposite them and leaned over to bare his perfect, pearly teeth.
"Which one of you ladies think you could handle me and my hair this evening?" he said. One of the women fainted in her chair and fell to the tavern floor, smacking her head on the polished wood. "Have I ever shown you my famous belt neck trick?"
At once, Gaston beckoned LeFou over to him, then swiftly removed the sidekick's belt and fastened it around his neck. With one short flex of his neck muscles, the belt exploded. The two concious ladies clapped tremendously while LeFou eyed the tattered remains of his belt with dismay.
"You're so strong," said one of the blondes.
"I know," grinned Gaston.
"And so handsome," said the other.
"I know. But I'm after Belle."
"But she's been gone for so long!" Both women exclaimed in union
Gaston shook his head. "She'll be back in no time, once she's done looking for that lunatic father of hers. Belle is the best, and I deserve the best."
With that, Gaston got out of his chair, picked LeFou up by the bottom of his tailcoat and carried him out of the tavern. He looked left and right, observing the village, before dropping LeFou into the snow.
"LeFou, until Belle gets back I demand that you come up with a new way to entertain me every day."
LeFou popped his head out of the snow and nodded.