I've decided to leave "Let Go" where it's at. I think I've done all I wanted with that, but the 3x20 scene in Emily's room is causing my brain to run wild. So, here we are. There is just something about the way they kiss that was really working for me, so this is the result. Hope you like it :)
Today. Today was a mess.
I was just trying to protect her. I was just trying to piece some of these things together. Caleb and I weren't trying to make things worse or harder for the girls; we just wanted to relieve some of the burden. They act like all of this is so normal, just a regular part of their lives. I guess it is, but the point is it shouldn't be.
After the fiasco with Shana and the costume shop, I dropped Hanna and Emily off at Hanna's. We barely talked the whole way there. I could tell Emily was mad and I'm positive it was because she knew. She knew about Shana and I on some level. Shana wasn't exactly subtle and of course Emily has to go powwow with Hanna about everything that was happening. Who knows what theories could come out of that…
So, I dropped them off and Em and I decided we'd meet up at her place in an hour and talk. I had to check in at home anyway. On my way home, I got a call from Shana. Apparently her boss somehow saw she had emailed confidential costumer information to some email address. She was so pissed, but when she started in on Emily and how bad she was for me, I ended the conversation immediately.
That did not, however, mean I wasn't mad at Emily. How could she do something like that? What did she do, break into the computer system and email it to herself? Who does something like that? Who even thinks about doing something like that?
As I parked in front of her house, she pulled in and parked behind me. I guess she had been at Hanna's longer than she thought she would be.
"Everything okay at Hanna's?" I asked, trying desperately to sound normal even though I was beyond frustrated and annoyed.
Clearly, she was feeling the same way, only she wasn't even trying to hide it. She snipped out, barely looking at me, "Yeah. Aria just came over and had some things to talk about. Come inside."
She started off ahead of me and I rolled my eyes. We walked straight to her room, where I took my jacket off, threw it on the window seat and leaned against the dresser. The closer to the exit the better.
She was facing away from me, laying her jacket on the bed. I jumped in almost immediately.
"Any idea why Shana got in trouble for emailing confidential information?"
I was aggravated. We both knew her and Hanna did something. She just needed to tell me the truth, fill in the holes.
She walked over to her desk and was doing something. "We needed to find out who rented those costumes."
She said it as if it was no big deal, just something they had no choice but to do.
"So badly you're willing to risk somebody's job?"
Emily whipped around to look at me. She looked as annoyed and angry as I felt.
"It's complicated, okay?"
My temper was starting to flare. I was trying to keep it in check, but it wasn't working very well.
Emily had turned her back to me again, so in an effort to calm myself, I clenched and unclenched my fists. I took a breath. Level head, control. I had to be rational if I had any chance of getting her to explain.
"There's more to this than you're letting on," I said. "Is it something about Mona? …did she kill Garrett?"
Emily whips around again, wide-eyed, and yells, "I don't know! Look, I know you and Caleb are trying to bust her, but this might be bigger than Mona, okay? She could be working for someone."
She just looks so frustrated and I immediately feel my mood shift. I don't want her to be mad. I don't want her to be confused. I just want to understand.
I ask, "Someone like who?"
"That's what we're trying to figure out."
Emily's demeanor changes, frustrated and exasperated, but it doesn't seem as directed at me.
"We thought it was CeCe but now… We don't know what to think."
She crosses her arms and looks away.
"Why didn't you tell me this?"
"Cause I was being protective," she says pointedly, turning everything around on me, "same as you and Caleb."
We both fell silent for a moment, trying to take it all in. Or at least I was. Emily clearly had something else on her mind.
Emily seemed to get annoyed again as she said, "Now it's your turn… Shana?"
Don't do this, Em, was all I could think. Don't make me explain that.
"No. We can't be half honest. I saw the way you two looked at each other."
As usual she was right and I didn't know what to say. Do I tell her everything? Do I tell her just the highlights? Do I tell her at all? I could lie, but she's right, we can't be half honest.
I avoided her gaze and started to speak, "We dated…this summer…"
Emily looks exactly like I thought she would look, angry and hurt.
"…while you were working in Haiti. Three weeks."
Emily is shaking her head slightly, "If it was over why would you lie about it?"
"Because I didn't want to hurt you."
Her brow is furrowed and I could tell she was annoyed with me. I moved closer to her slowly, not wanting to overstep. I looked her directly in the eye.
"Emily, believe me, it's over."
She finally looked at me.
"She was a substitute at a time when I never thought I'd get the real thing…"
Emily was still looking at me like she was annoyed or thinking or I didn't even know at that point. She looked away again, like she was just done with all of this. She can't be done. She can't think for one second I could want anyone but her.
"I love you."
I said it almost pleadingly, trying to get her to understand.
She was still looking at me skeptically, not convinced. So, I did what we always do to show each other how we feel: I kissed her. Just lightly. Hopefully, just enough.
I could tell she tried to fight it, but seconds after the kiss ended she broke out in this huge smirk. I mirrored the look I'm sure, and I felt like we had never fighting at all. She was smiling. She was okay. We were okay, I thought, letting out a sigh of relief.
We both moved in for another kiss, my hand on her neck, bringing her closer to me. It was sweet at first, but it started to heat up quickly.
She pulled away slightly, "We don't have much time. Mom gets home soon and I still have to go talk to CeCe…"
"Then why are you still talking?"
She grinned again and we moved in and started kissing. I started to move my hand to her chest, needing to feel her. Instead of giving into my touch she gently moved my hand away and held it down by my side. She moved in and started kissing my neck. I knew where this was going. I knew she wanted to be in control. She let go of my arm and brought her hands to my hips, pulling me into her. She moved back to my lips and we were making out as she started pulling me towards the bed.
She pushed me lightly so I was lying down, propped up on my elbows. She crawled on top of me, straddling my hips. We were looking at each other, breathing heavily. Then, she started grinning again. Her eyebrow raised and I am pretty sure I have never wanted to fuck her so much in my whole life. She was so cocky, so sure of herself. It was incredibly sexy.
She was above me and her hair was falling everywhere. That look on her face was turning me on and I couldn't take it anymore. I sat up and reached for her vest, pushing it off of her. She was still grinning and my competitive nature was making me want to wipe that grin off her face, take her so hard she couldn't do anything but scream my name.
I reached for the bottom of her shirt and pulled it up off of her. I looked at her, her body. I don't think there is anything more beautiful in the whole world.
As I'm taking in the sight, she cups my face in her hands and kisses me lightly. Her smile fades suddenly, as if something dawns on her.
"Did you and Shana…"
She almost looked like she was about to cry.
"Em, no. God, no."
"But, you kissed, right? Hooked up? …Did she touch you?"
Her face was breaking my heart, causing this sharp pain in my chest. This is exactly what I wanted to avoid. I didn't want to tell her about Shana because I didn't want to hurt her; I didn't want her to think I wanted any other girl to touch me.
"Yeah. We…made out and stuff. I was just lonely and missing you…"
"How did she touch you?"
I looked at her intensely. What did she want, details? A diagram?
"The normal way... I don't know."
This was just really not the time to be talking about Shana.
"Did she touch you like this?"
She moved her hands to my breasts. My eyes fluttered shut at the sensation.
She leaned down and whispered in my ear, "Tell me."
"Yeah," I breathed out, swallowing hard. I was turned on and slightly confused but I didn't want to stop what was happening.
She pushed me back onto the bed and I wrapped my legs around her body as she fell between them. She shifted up, pressing against my center. I groaned.
She covered my mouth with hers and softly, sensually, kissed me. She let it linger, making me want more like she always did.
I went to say something. I'm not even sure what, but she just kissed me again. She pushed into me again and I felt dizzy. There was swelling and this almost painful throbbing. I just needed her to reach down and take some of the ache away.
Sensing this, she snuck her hand under my shirt and started teasing me. Rubbing, pinching. I was grinding up into her harder, faster now.
We were still kissing as I pulled away and choked out, "Em, please…"
I felt her grin into the kiss. She knew what she was doing and she loved every second of it. Evil. She really was just evil.
She removed her hand from under my shirt and undid my pants. She sat up and pulled them and my shoes off, tossing them to the floor. She got off the bed completely, pulled me closer to the edge and then kneeled in front of me.
She started at my stomach, pushing my shirt up to kiss it. She didn't stay there long though and moved to slowly kiss my inner thigh. I knew what was about to happen and by this point I was panting, gripping the comforter, trying to brace myself. The anticipation was torment. My eyes were shut, but I could still see her face in my mind, that grin still plastered all over it.
When she finally pulled my underwear down she didn't connect directly to where I needed her to. She was kissing all around. My hips, my thighs. Everything but where the ache was most prominent.
I went to touch her head to direct it where I wanted it but she grabbed my hand and put it back beside me on the bed. She was in control. It was something she had to do.
My eyes opened and met hers. She wasn't smirking. She was serious. She didn't need to say anything; I knew what she wanted. I licked my lips and we leaned in to kiss each other. As the kiss ended, I simply nodded, giving her permission to continue doing what she was doing. She swallowed hard, eyes glazed over with pleasure and eagerness, and leaned in and connected with me.
I gripped the sheets with both hands and let out a loud, "Fuck…"
Her hands were running all over me as she went about teasing me. They ran over my thighs and up under my shirt. One ended up under my thigh so she could pull me onto her mouth more and then suddenly I felt the other inside of me. Just one finger at first, moving in and out agonizingly slow.
I was cussing and moaning and I didn't care about anything anymore. I wouldn't have cared if Mrs. Fields had walked in, just as long as Emily didn't stop.
She slid another finger inside of me, her mouth never stopping its movements, and I couldn't take it. My head was tilted back and my hands were holding the comforter so tightly they hurt. It was going to happen any second. I felt it. Every part of me was clenching and I was pressing myself even harder to her.
She pushed in hard, deep.
I screamed as my eyes squeezed shut. It washed over me, ending with a scream and a whimper, leaving me completely breathless.
I didn't open my eyes as she pulled out and kissed the inside of the thigh she was still holding onto. She was lightly kissing and sucking and I knew it was going to leave a mark. She was branding me, subtly, where only her and I could see. For us only.
I finally caught my breath and gained some control as she stopped her mouth's movement. She was standing now and she pushed me softly into a laying position, resting both hands at my sides as she leaned in and kissed me. Slowly, lazily.
She pulled back and we looked at each other. She was smiling now, not arrogantly but sincerely. She was looking at me with so much love and affection. I melted, like only she could make me. I reached up and brushed her hair out of her face and tucked it behind her ears, keeping my hands there to cup her face.
"That was all for you, Em. Only you."
Emily's POV next? Yes? No?