Lightning Versus A Coke Machine

Rated T

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Total Drama or Coca Cola related. Anyway, on with the fic.


It was another day at Playa De Losers as the resort officials brought in a new addition. A la, it was a Coca-Cola vending machine. And the first person to approach the machine was Lightning.

"Man, Lightning's Sha-thirsty! Time to get me a Sha-Coke!" Lightning exclaimed as he pulled out a dollar bill and inserted it into the vending machine.

Lightning was waiting patiently for the machine to take in his dollar, but alas, it didn't happen. The dollar was brought back to him instantly.

"Sha what-now?" Lightning replied in surprise, "Man, must've got sha-wrinkled a bit. Let me try again!"

Lightning then smoothened the dollar by ironing it from the side of the vending machine. When the dollar now stood straight, Lightning inserted the dollar back in the machine.

"Come on, you better sha-work! Lightning's counting on you to take it..." Lightning said calmly.

But once again, history just kept repeating itself. The dollar was sent back to Lightning, who was growing very irritated as it was.

"AW, COME ON! LIGHTNING JUST WANTS SOMETHING TO SHA-DRINK AND YET YOU GOTTA PLAY LIGHTNING LIKE THAT? YOU ARE SHA-TARDED!" Lightning shouted angrily to the Coke machine right before Dawn walked by and noticed the strongman having verbal warfare with a Coke machine.

"I really gotta tell him to lay off the juice..." Dawn said with a rolling of the eyes as she decided to walk right past Lightning, therefore ignoring him.

"Okay, that's it. You sha-asked for it!" Lightning exclaimed as he took his dollar once again and started to iron it with his butt. It was much like he was wiping it with his own ass to make it look smooth and straight. And yet he did.

So Lightning inserted the dollar right in the machine once more and waited patiently to take his dollar, just hoping that he would finally get a drink in all of this.

But to his stunned amazement...

...the dollar flung right back at Lightning's face, therefore the Athletic Overachiever fell down with a thud feeling the dollar hitting him hard in the kisser.

It was impossible that a dollar with the speed of a fastball can easily take Lightning down like that. Lightning soon got back up and now looked angry like a bull on steroids.

"Better luck next time... loser." The vending machine said to Lightning as if he was laughing at him. Lightning wasn't gonna take it very well.

"HOW DARE YOU NOT TAKE LIGHTNING'S DOLLAR! YOU WANT ME TO SHA-STARVE OF THIRST? NO ONE PLAYS LIGHTNING AND GETS AWAY WITH IT!" Lightning screamed at the vending machine once again. "YOU BETTER TAKE MY SHA-DOLLAR OR LIGHTNING'S SENDING YOU TO THE SCRAP HEAP!"

"You asked for it." The machine said in a robot voice as he just air punched Lightning right on the jaw, therefore sending him down once again.

Lightning soon felt the pain of his jaw go right through him. Knowing that the machine couldn't be beat that easily, Lightning just decided to give up.

"AW, WHO SHA-NEEDS YA! LIGHTNING CAN GET HIMSELF SOMETHING TO DRINK! LIGHTNING DON'T SHA-NEED YOU, YOU BIG RED RETARD!" Lightning shouted as he punched the Coca-Cola machine to death and just finally walked away.

The machine started to shake a little bit after Lightning's departure. And then, before anyone never knew it, the machine finally produced a Coke falling down on the entrance way.

That was when Anne Maria approached the machine as he was talking to someone on the phone.

"Yes, Mom. I got tha new bra. Fits me like a glove. Makes my rack firmer. Okay, thanks mom. See ya." Anne Maria spoke on the phone as she hung up.

It was right until she looked down at the coke machine and saw a full can of Coca-Cola laid on the entranceway.

"Jackpot! A free coke! Makes my body betta'..." Anne Maria said as she got the free Coke that was still cold and got a lot of fizz.

Licking her lips, she opened...

...only to get a face-full of Cola and suds straight directly into Anne Maria's pretty little face. She was stunned since she never expected this kind of stuff to happen to her until now. Looks like Lightning's hard punch into the Coke machine caused every Coke inside there some kind of sud attack. Which means if one man or woman were to open one can of Coke, they would be blasted permanently. This just happened to Anne Maria right now.

"Okay, I was wrong. My face just got worse than it is..." Anne Maria muttered as she spat out the sudsy Cola and sent the can flying in the garbage. What a waste of $1,000 this was indeed.


I'm sure this little Lightning drabble would keep you occupied. Meanwhile, read and review!

P.S. Pepsi is better than Coca-Cola. Just saying.