W/N - I am invoking the venerated LegionN7 and Aria's awesome Afterlife. Cue - banjo music.
The Catalyst's voice came as a thunderous echo. "You can use the energy of the Crucible to seize control of the Reapers," it said, sweeping its hand towards a console with two blue rods.
"So, the Illusive Man was right after all," Shepard said, wondering if the path he chose was the right one.
"Yes, but he could never take control as we had already controlled him."
"But I could?"
"You would no longer be organic, but we would be yours to control and do with as you see fit."
"Really? Sounds good to me." Gathering speed into a sprint, she rushed up to the control rods. After grabbing the blue pillars and having her essence consumed in an arc of electricity, Shepard finally met Harbinger, face to face. "Who's assuming direct control now, huh?"
The giant Reaper froze upon hearing that voice in its head. "Shepard...what are you doing here? You are...ascended."
"Who's your mama, spider brain?"
Harbinger's red eyes dimmed as he stood confused.
Shepard wasn't done yet though. "Oh, you gonna know some pain, boy. Bend over."
"Ow, that hurts me."
"Squeal like a pig, Reaper!"
The spectral Shepard leaned back and began picking a banjo as Harbinger rolled over and began barking like a dog. "Oh, I can do this all day. C'mon…c'mon, beg. That's a good boy."