A/N: HEY guys time for some humor and fun. Boy I'm going to have fun with this one. As some may know this is based off our awesome VIP Lounge Misadventures RP on our spyro forum.
(-XxTheSomeonexX VIP Lounge, or copy and paste this on the web browser. forum/XxTheSomeonexX-VIP-Lounge/126150/-)
Check it out! :)
And I tell you its hilarious…..so like I always say…on the forum that is….Don't forget to drink your Pepsi!
WARNING: DIFFUCULT QUESTION IS IN THIS CHAPTER. X (
Chapter 1: The Kicker of a lifetime.
Dakota the dragon weakly opened his eyes. "Guh, my head…ooooohhh….I knew I shouldn't have drank that magic." When Dakota's eyes adjusted to the dimly lit room, he saw he was strapped to a diamond table in iron cuffs. "What the hell! How did I get here? And why am I locked up? Please tell me I didn't burn another house down with Red again!"
Dakota turned his head as a door opened to his 'cell', since he guessed he was in some kind of prison. Two large apes and a monkey dressed in military uniforms entered the room.
Dakota looked at the smaller monkey and frowned "Hey if I burned down another house again I can pa-"
"SILENCE!" The small monkey squeaked in his high pitched voice. Dakota had a hard time holding himself together. "YOU WILL ADDRESS ME AS GENERAL MOKEY VAN DERMONSANCE IS THAT UNDERSTOOD!"
Dakota nodded "Yes, General money van darmansence" Dakota tried to say his name, but his hangover was really bad, and he was going to pay.
"HOW DARE YOU DISGRACE ME IN THAT MANNER!" The monkey howled throwing bananas everywhere…where did he get them exactly nobody knew.
Dakota shook his head "Hey, when you drink 20 drafts of Magic in an hour, and pass out, and then have this kind of a hangover, you try and say your name five times as fast as you, you squeaky fur ball."
The monkeys eyes grew as big as watermelons and he got so angry his squeaky voice began to crack "WH-Y YOU PIECE OF INGN-RANT VILE DISGRA-EFUL SHI-" his voice cracked so bad that his last word was inaudible.
Dakota couldn't hold it in any longer and he began to laugh so hard he cried.
The monkey gave one of his ape guards a command, and suddenly one of the apes grabbed an elastic band, and wrapped it around Dakota's mouth. Dakota growled Really! A muzzle would've been better.
"Now for your insolence…You shall be punished….TO THE TORTURE CHAMBER!" One of the apes grabbed a metal bar that was attached to the moveable table, and began to wheel Dakota to the torture chamber.
Dakota began to sweat all this tension was making him sick, and the hangover wasn't helping.
They arrived to a large crude shack that had a large sign with the words:
Today's menu: Bananas, Banana crème pie, Banana splits, Banana bread, Banana leaves, Banana…well, you get the picture.
Dakota shook his head For a torture chamber it seems more like a buffet or a restaurant, and what's with the last line? 'Well, you get the picture?'
In fact it was a restaurant that seated well over dozens of apes and monkeys that were sitting around eating banana related foods; some of the monkeys had a signs that read "Don't feed the apes." or "I was the monkey that didn't fall of the bed."…and all of them were staring at Dakota. O K…..This is either really bad….or a REALLLLLLLLLY weird place I'm in.
The small monkey general climbed on top of Dakota and smiling cried" Ladies and Gentle apes…and monkeys too." Twelve monkeys lower their banana grenades. "Tonight I have a special treat for you…I fought this dragon for six days straight with no food, or weapons. And! With my bare hands I bound him to where he is now-his voice trails off." Dakota rolled his eyes. Pfft, yeah right squeaky, you wouldn't last a second even if I used my- his voice trails off.
and next time don't tell people your voice is trailing off do what I did.
"And now for your entertainment I shall torture him….with our newest machine….BEHOLD MY CREATION: THE PUNISHMENTINATOR!" The General monkey screeched in delight as he jumped up, and down on Dakota. Dakota shifted his weight, and the monkey fell off and bonked his head. "Someone call the doctor!"A monkey cried. Everybody laughed at the joke. The general growled, but then smiled as the machine came into view.
Dakota growled as they wheeled in a machine…..that consisted of nothing but gloved wooden hands and boots. Dakota smiled Phew I thought it was going to be something horrible… like something that shoots tennis balls at me! Stupid monkeys! He began eating those words as he now saw how the PUNISHMENTINA-Whatever worked.
The apes laughed as the multi gloved hands were aligned right up against Dakota's face, and the boots were right smack up against his as- a donkey bray is heard in the distance.
The machine was activated….and it began slapping him in the face and booting him in the as-
"Will SOMEONE get rid of that ass!" the monkey general squeaked in annoyance.
The donkey lifted her tail in the air "Humph, who you calling an ass!" and with that she left their presence.
After two hours of continuous slaps to the face and boots to the as- everyone looks around for the donkey, but all there was, was a picture of an old donkey with a black hair wig on his head standing next to a female donkey that had brown hair and wore old beaded style earrings….Everyone got bored of it and left, Dakota continued to swear in his mind ,but each time he got slapped or booted. Why That mother fu- ow. Piece of- OW…SON OF A-OW…. FUC-OW- OFF-OW! WILL YOU JUST –SLAP!
The monkey was getting tired of the watching the same thing as well. "STOOOOOOP!" He commanded squeakily. The apes shut off the machine. "Let's see how our prisoner will respond now. Remove it!" The ape deftly and skillfully cut off the elastic band. Dakota worked his jaw around, and smiled.
The monkey smiled back "Now what do you have to say for yourself."
Dakota's smile broadened, and then he let loose a volley of vomit that covered the monkey from head to foot. "AAAAAHHHH, that feels better." Dakota said in relievement of his hangover.
The vomit covered monkey squealed like a little girl, and letting loose some really nasty words, slipped on a banana peel that sent him flying into the WHATEVER it's called machine. The machine reactivated itself, and before the little monkey could react a massive boot sent him flying through a window, through a tree that now had a cool impression in it, and finally across a random field goal that appeared.
Dakota looked at the apes; the apes looked at him, Dakota smiled. "IT'S GOOD!" The apes smiled and laughed, but things got really interesting as an unhappy monkey appeared and handed them a stack of cash. Apparently they won some kind of bet.
A/N: LOL if any of you can figure out what I meant at the end with the betting then you deserve a virtual cookie…and in the next chapter I'll tell you about the bet in my A/N.
But man wasn't that story funny or what? I really enjoyed writing this I laughed myself to death at the end there. Well here's a special question thing I post for my stories and if you answer it correctly and you're the first one you win!
NOW FOR SOME RULES:
1. Google is allowed.
2. If I post two questions, you may answer both, but you will win only one.
3. If you answer a question correctly, the next question on the next chapter YOU CAN NOT ANSWER, UNLESS it's a special difficult question.
4. Difficult questions are rare and will be notified of when they will be given….and the prize will be AMAZING.
5. PM'ing the answer is highly recommended, but you may answer the question in your review, but I don't usually check reviews often so PM is what I prefer.
6. AND IF YOU DON'T RESPOND BACK TO ME WHEN I TELL YOU YOU'RE THE WINNER within at least an hour I sent it..i give the prize to the next person who answered correctly…I do take note of people being in school when they pm so if you are in school when you send in your answer LET ME KNOW!
7. HAVE FUN!
Question 1#: Where did I take the torture machine THE PUNISHMENTATOR from?
Hint: It's from a popular video game.
Difficult Question 1#: In the picture with the two donkeys next to each other, what TV show do they star in? And as a bonus who can tell me who was the main character in that episode?
Hint: The TV show has three seasons.
Hint 2: Kids show