A/N: Hey guys it's me again and guess what? I'm wrote this chapter with my tablet! Yep you heard it correctly -my tablet- isn't it a shocker!? LOL Anyways today is going to be a great chapter...SOOOOOOOO...I'm proud to present.
Chapter 2: The Jailbirds and the Pain in the Ass.
Dakota yawned and stretched his aching limbs as he woke up to another uneventful morning sun peering through his prison bars. He closed his eyes and then opened them again quickly…I could've sworn there was someone there… Dakota shrugged off the thought and was about to curl back to sleep when his cell door opened again and two ape guards entered the scene carrying in their hands two chattery birds.
One of them was blue with a yellow mohawk, and he guessed it was male by the deep squawk it had, while the other with its orange plumage, which it had to be a girl because I mean….. with its high pitched chirp….. he would be such a sorry sight to see. The birds continued to babble back to one another in their non-sense language.
The apes quickly tossed the two noisy birds in his cell and slammed the cell door as hard as they could. The birds realizing that their captors had left finally stopped babbling nonsense and the blue one breathed a well needed sigh of relief. "Goodness, Eli I thought they'd never leave us alone." She said in her deep, clear British accent voice.
The orange bird squawked as he saw Dakota look at them "Sarah, shhhhh, we're not alone!" Eli said, in an American accent, nodding towards Dakota. Sarah turned around and jumped in surprise as if she wasn't expecting to see him there "OH-h-uuuhhhh- squawk-squawkty-squawk" Sarah tried to act like she didn't know how to...well it's obvious...
Eli facepalmed himself with his wing and then 'lightly' slapped his idiotic sister in the head "Sarah, it's too late we've already been caught. Besides I don't think he's an enemy." Eli said walking towards Dakota.
Dakota looked at the orange bird with amusement...this bird was just like him...a brother who always looked out for his sister and was the first to enter danger... "Good-day to you my dear sir, May I ask what your name is?" Sarah asked just a mere three inches from his jaws.
Dakota chuckled "How did you know I was a sir and not a lady?"
Sarah became bright red and Eli took notice of her shade and looked at Dakota and gasped "U-u-hhhhhh it's because of your muscle build...yeah...isn't that right SARAH!?" Eli said in deep anxiety and embarrassment.
Sarah nodded "Uh, yeah! I'm mean...unless you were really toned dragonness my initial guess would have to be a male dragon."
Dakota looked at them questioning until it hit him! He jumped up completely embarrassed of what EXCATLY it was that made her...I not going to continue on the topic.
Dakota nodded "Of course yes...Uhhhhh...my names...eeeerrrr...Dakota." Dakota said still a bit shy from what happened.
The three jailbirds just stood around in silence staring at one another until finally Sarah piped in "Well, Dakota, my names Sarah and this is my brother Eli." she said acknowledging her dilemma. "And as you can see we're prisoners here in mokey van whatever the bloody hell his name's prison...if you can even call this place a prison." She hissed glaring out the cell window.
Dakota looked at the birds with confusion "How exactly did you guys get here? I mean can't you guys fly?"
Sarah frowned as Eli put a comforting wing over her. "Sarah's wing is broken so she can't fly, and I wouldn't leave her side until she was better. Anyways we're walking along through the jungle when suddenly-" All of sudden a news reporter enters the room with a cameraman.
"Ladies and gentleman, Breaking News!...We have received reports that a flashback is about to happen...stay tuned as more details come in." As suddenly as the news people came they disappeared.
Dakota, Sarah, and Dakota were both confused and startled by the scene. "Ummmm what exactly just happened?" Dakota asked dumbstruck.
"I haven't the slightest f***** clue."
Sarah looked at her brother with anger "Eli watch your mouth!" She said angrily with sauce on the side. Eli rolled his eyes at her and quickly glanced at the cell door wandering if anything else was going to come out of it. "What was that reporter talking about when he said that a flashba- OUCH!" Eli exclaimed when a strange square metal box hit him in the face.
All three of them looked at the strange box with interest... I mean who wouldn't...it had the words...PUSH THIS BUTTON...printed right on top of a huge red button. Dakota reached forward to push it, but Eli stopped him. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?" Eli yelled almost as loud as he could, "Don't you know you never EVER push red buttons!?" Eli added with more emphasis.
Dakota shrugged "Yeah but it says to push it...besides what's the worse it could do...PUSH."
A bright white light blinds them...when they're finally able to see they find themselves in a movie theater. "Oops,my bad." Dakota said munching on some popcorn.
"I told you not to push -" Eli stopped and turned his attention toward the film projector screen. There were leader numbers popping up and then in big letters were the words *Produced and Copyrighted from Disney Publishing...Walt Disney Proudly presents...A FLASHBACK...*
Sarah leans over to Eli "Hey, Eli."
Eli leans over and listens "What?"
"If this is heaven…I want a refund."
Eli began to laugh, but the laugh was short lived when a man in a white robe threw a pie in his face ,and whispered "SSSSSHHHH!" while putting a finger to his mouth.
Eli growled Why that white robed piece of shi- SPLAT…
Announcer: The title screen gives way to a jungle and in the jungle are two derpy birds.
Eli: Hi, I'm a blue bird that's randomly up here doing nothing.
Sarah: *Looks down at the ground and frowns*
Announcer: These two birds are out here doing hell knows what so I'll let them do the talking. Walks out the door and gets face palmed by a pie.
Eli: Sarah we need to get out of this jungle before we die!
Sarah: *Frown deepens and she begins to cry*
Eli:*Beginning to sweat* Sarah, COME ON WE HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE...NOW!"
Sally:*Begins crying uncontrollably* Why are you such a bully Jim? I didn't even want to be here.
Jim: *Growls* You do want to be here Sally... so start acting! *He grabs Sally's wing tightly and squeezes hard.
Sally: Ouch you're hurting me...LET GO!
Jim: *Growl deepens into a roar* START ACTING NOW!
Announcer: *pie filing sweat* oh...oh dear...uhhhh...what's this? Ladies and Gentleman look it's an ape!
Jerry: Hey! Leave her alone!
Jim: Make me! *tightens grip on wing*
Jerry: *moves at lightning fast speed, faster than thought an ape could move and punches a solid punch square into Jim's beak knocking him out cold.*
Sally: *Looks at the unconscious Jim and then at Jerry the Ape* "Thank you...uhhhh
Jerry: Jerry...my names Jerry
Sally: *blushing* thanks for saving me Jerry.
Jerry: *Blushing too* Well...uhh...It was my duty...I mean I couldn't leave a damsel in distress.
Sally: *Laughs* Well thank you...
Jerry: *begins walking away*
Jerry: *stops* Yes
Sally: *blushes into a deeper red* Would you mind walking me back to my car.
Jerry: *Red shade vanishes replaced with a deep grin* It would be my pleasure...uhhh
Sally: Sally...tehee my names Sally.
Announcer: Both ape and bird walk out of the studio hand in hand into a glorious sunset. The End...phew glad that's over. *Wipes banana crème pie custard off face.*
Everyone just stares at the white screen... "Well...that was...interesting...so...ummmmm...what happened exactly?" Dakota asked completely dazed by what he saw.
Eli rubs his forehead "Well definitely not that! Anyways we were walking through the jungle trying to find our way home when suddenly-" Eli looks around for another 'red button' box to fly at him but none did. "When suddenly we were ambushed by that General monkey and four of his ape guards. I could have flown away, but I wouldn't leave her...and I could've kicked the crap out of them...but one of them snuck up behind me, and held a supposed 'banana' grenade to her throat. So I didn't do anything...it wasn't until the idiot ape ate the banana grenade that I was glad I listened, and man let me tell you the sight was not pretty." Sarah throws up in her popcorn bowl.
"And after about 2 days of walking is when we get here. And that's it"
Smoke and fireworks shoot into the air and show girls appear, doing the world famous chain leg kick, while chanting "This flashback is done and we all had some fun, but now it's time for us to ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun!" All of the show girls throw flashbangs at them.
Dakota's heart sank into his stomach as the flashbangs landed in his lap. Son of a Bitc- BANG!
More blinding light and a bathroom break later they appear back in there cell. The three jailbirds look at one another and nod "Yep, gotta lay off the 'magic'." they all say in unison.
A/N: Well first off the bet was if the monkey threw the banana peel on the ground and the General slipped on it without the ape's involment they would win..You can figure out the rest. Second man wasn't this an interesting chapter...new characters...new...things...and maybe some new...readers!? Guess not...well anyways I hope you enjoyed... R&R...chow all!
[Drink your Pepsi!]
TODAY'S QUESTION OF THE DAY or Today's Q of TD
Question: Who was the pie wielding guy in the white robe?