I OWN NOTHING

Time to look at my soul, think back about my past and all that brought me here, and contemplate my existence in- Boring! I wanna write fics!

XXXXXX

Employee with benefits

Inside the prison the Titans were in, inside a large office belonging to one Hugo Strange who had several relaxation tools scattered around, even a portable sand garden in his table, said doctor had received his first visitor. He had asked something Warden Bolton was a bit off about, but the warden trusted the man in that maybe it could work. His request was to have the Titans visit him one by one when normally prisoners like them went to group therapy. Group therapy would still be a part of their schedule, but for now the good doctor wanted to see their impressions on a certain blond as he said earlier that day.

However, he planned an order in which he'd investigate them, "So, Mr. Harper, I assume it's a long trip from Star City to Gotham. What were you looking for in here?"

Roy glared at the man, but knowing he was supposed to talk, he grinned, "What's so important for you to know anything?"

Hugo remained calm, "It is my duty, my job, that much is true. However, all I see is a boy who wanted to find something, but found too much perhaps."

"Nice one-liner, you came up with it yourself?" Roy quipped.

Hugo smiled warmly and shrugged, "I didn't think it'd be that good, I was just stating the facts… That a single boy wanted something, but all I see is loss before me."

Roy growled as he held the stump where his right arm used to be, "I wanted help… I wanted power, that is all."

Hugo nodded, "And your mentor and Batman provided both." He looked at the teen for any response, trying to find an opening beside his arm, "I bet a boy like you would want to prove himself, that much I can respect. I bet feeling powerful, to have something that makes you stronger does give you a sense of achieving something."

Roy nodded, "Yes, but the sad part is when you find a challenge."

"Please, do elaborate."

Roy grinned, "The sad part of the challenge is that there's always someone stronger than you. We all learn this as kids. So, if you want to be the best, you have to fight the best and beat them all but not with brute force, wit is the one thing that matters in beating others… Like observing them, watching them, and then strike them when they least suspect it."

Hugo chuckled humorously, "Are you threatening me, Mr. Harper? Or is there still some soreness that you couldn't even fight Naruto?"

While Roy had to admit saying something like that to a trained assassin took balls, he took offense, "Don't remind me!" he growled, "That stupid merc just had to get back-up and ruin a real rematch! I don't care about his rules or the whole fighting fair, I wanted to force him to use his wits. He can overpower and also outsmart others, beating the others prove that, so to hunt him down and put an arrow between his unsuspecting eyes would've proven everyone who is top dog."

Hugo sighed inwardly, 'It's gonna be one of those long sessions… Perhaps I can press things further with this complex of his.' He waited for a moment as Roy calmed down a bit, "So, in other words… You would have enjoyed yourself fighting Naruto. But, the way you say it, it's as if you wanted him to fight back."

Roy nodded, a stoic look on his still proud face, "That guy, even for an idiot, is stupidly strong. And yet he can pull as much or perhaps more tricks than Batman. It's… kind of a plus he's not a complete asshole. Sure, he's annoying and an idiot, but once you fight Batman with his superiority complex someone like that moron is a welcomed change of pace."

Hugo chuckled, "So, you see him like a playmate… Good thing he seems like a friendly guy."

Roy growled, "Friendly? Far as I know thanks to Superboy, that moron only respects him and Beastboy. If he thinks he's safe, he's got an arrow coming to his face."

Dr. Strange managed to remain calm as he took a sip of coffee, 'I am starting to feel sorry for this Naruto kid, just arrived to town and now several people want him dead.'

XXXXXX

Meanwhile, Naruto tilted his head to the side as both he and Pam were before a really nice café. Of course, both didn't have much to eat after their arrival to the hospital, and it was lunch time, so the redhead's first stop was a nice establishment with a certain retro thing to it. Waitresses had pink plastic aprons and small but not too small dresses, there was a counter with several stools before it, a few tables with a man reading the newspaper, and another guy talking to one of the waitresses. A few of the staff members looked at Pam but shrugged her appearance off, showing she was a regular customer here. Naruto saw why when noticing that they had a good amount of salads in the menu and natural juices.

"Nice place. It may not be ramen, but I'm above that nitpicking by now." The blond said, though still desiring to see a bowl of miso ramen once again in his life as he and his client walked to a table, both sitting in front of the other, "Say, I had to ask…"

"Yes?" the redhead replied with a raised brow.

"Well… you control plants, right? I saw you using that power in the museum." He said, the environmentalist nodded, "And you also love plants, with this project proving it." A second nod, "So… why do you eat vegetables?" he blond asked with a puzzled look.

Pamela blinked, "Um… What do you mean?"

Naruto sighed, knowing a bit of how to talk to girls thanks to Rose, but part of that knowledge sort of lacked strength when you knew people like Wanda and the kunoichis the blond faced and seemed to be after his blood, his ass, or both, "I was informed that you loved green life, enough to put your life on the line for this project so it just got me curious. Sorry, I don't mean to bother you, I just want to ask." He said, trying to be respectful despite having the tact of a speeding truck.

The redhead actually smiled a bit, "I actually need to eat a vegetarian's diet. It's not that I dislike meat or anything, in fact I was big on hot dogs before this but… well, as you can see, a green girl needs her green food to survive." She said with a small chuckle, making Naruto smile at her being open and feeling comfortable enough to talk to him, "After turning like this, my metabolism changed, and my body can survive without meat, almost like a real plant, but I still need fruits and vegetables to keep on moving and…" she caught herself before going on a full boring speech, blushing a bit, "Sorry, I didn't mean to talk your ear off… Funny, you're one of the few people who ask me about this and I can talk to."

"I understand." Naruto said with a chuckle, "When I was a kid, I couldn't bring myself to trust some people about my problems. But when I found a few good friends, well, I used to talk perhaps too much."

Pamela smiled, 'This is weird, he's real friendly, if a bit blunt, brash, impulsive and still lacking proper tact.' She spoke up, "Well, seeing as I am trusting you with helping me here, I guess you're a friend now."

"Oh, just a friend?" said a new, loud, cheerful voice that made Pamela cringe and turn her expression from one of calm joy into one of pure horror and embarrassment.

'Oh dear God, not her…' the green girl said as she shut her eyes tight, trying to avoid seeing the figure… But she knew she had to open them, and sure enough she was face to face with another blonde. Even Naruto seemed to cringe, but due to the similarities to another blonde he knew. It was a blonde woman in her twenties, with her hair done in dual pigtails like Pam, but rather than making her head look like a puffy, fluffy flower, these were normal. The woman had blue eyes too, but wore black lipstick, and that lipstick was perhaps the only bizarre thing with her along her hairstyle. She wore a red blouse, back pants, red high heel shoes, and adorned her face with a pair of round reading glasses.

The blonde woman giggled into her hand, "Oh, he's such a cutie; he sure is a keeper, Pam." She said, elbowing the poor redhead.

"Harley…" Pam growled, though did so with a pleading face as her cheeks turned a darker green.

"Are you her mom?" Naruto asked. Normally, in any comedy movie he watched with the insane side of the Wilson family, it was the mother who embarrassed the protagonist. But there was a problem as he looked at his fellow blonde, "You don't seem like you could be her mother, you're too immature."

The cheerful face of the spectacled woman turned into one of shock while Pam gaped at Naruto's bluntness, "What?!" the blonde asked with her brain still unable to process she had been called immature.

"I mean, you are too young, you don't seem mature enough to be a mother, you're perhaps in your twenties at most." The blond merc said calmly.

The older blonde snapped her fingers as her smile returned now that she understood, "Oh, you mean I'm not old enough to be Pam's mom then."

"Ah, sorry then… I'm still learning some English." Naruto replied with a sheepish smile.

"No problem, you must be a foreigner then, an exchange student. Nice catch, Pam." She winked and gave her fellow pigtailed girl a thumb up. "Boy, if you told me I was an airhead or something like that I'd have taken a page from the boss' book and smacked you silly." She said with a giggle, making Naruto and Pamela sweat-drop, "Oh, but I probably shouldn't be saying that. Guess the boss is rubbing on me, kinda sad… But, Pam, how did you get yourself such a cute date? What's his name?"

The poor girl face-planted on the table, moving a hand to the woman embarrassing her, "Naruto, this is Harleen Quinzel, my doctor."

"You can call me Harley, if you feel like it." The pigtailed blonde said with a grin. She then examined the blond youth, "Say, you look familiar… Like those whiskers… I think I've seen them before." She said, with a hand on her chin, before shaking her head as she gave up, "Nah, I can't think of anything, so perhaps I'm just thinking stuff up."

Pamela looked up in shock at her doctor, "Where were you the last twenty four hours?"

Harley waved, "Vacations watching my cute little nieces the Dee-Dees, silly. I told you I'd be away for a while. Why do you ask?"

Pam sighed, "Nothing important… Anyway, Harley, this is Naruto Uzumaki, my bodyguard."

Harley's face lit up as she now remembered the blond before her, "Now I remember! The boss has been speaking with the mayor about getting someone to protect you for that project of yours. So, how did it go?" she asked with a large grin, but was cut short as a beeper rang in her pants pocket, making her sigh, "Oh, and I was just about to eat some nice donuts after arriving here. Well, boss' orders. Have a nice date, Pam!" she said and waved, running off and leaving the flustered Pam to yell at no-one.

Naruto winced as the redhead slammed her head once again on the table and muttered under her breath, "I swear… She either does this on purpose or her timing's programmed by the devil himself."

"Um… Who was that?" Naruto finally managed to ask, unable to understand anything but a red, black and golden blur of happiness and cheerfulness zipping back and forth between him and Pam.

"She's a friend of mine, and my doctor." Pamela said with a sigh, "Harley's perhaps the friendliest person you could ever meet… But her hyperactivity and cheerfulness can wear you down. Still, she can be serious when she needs to, but most of the time she's either planning something like a genius mastermind, or she's really thick."

Naruto chuckled, "She reminds me of a few people I know."

Pamela gave him a look of disbelief, but mentally shrugged it off, "You must have some weird friends, then…" she face-palmed, "And I just included myself in that, huh?"

The blond tried hard not to laugh at the already embarrassed girl's expense, "You're perhaps the most normal one out of them all. Perhaps the only normal person I know." He said, trying to cheer her up… But he knew that wouldn't be much comfort if she had met half the people he used to deal with in a daily basis.

XXXXXX

"I don't care for that idiot." Raven said out of the blue.

Dr. Strange had to get a hold of his handkerchief to wipe his bald head at the hot glare he got from Raven. Even an experienced man like him who often saw several of the most dangerous criminals around had to say her glare was more than enough to melt ice and perhaps a few more things if she put her mind and magic to it.

Hugo shook his head, "Miss Roth, I didn't even ask anything."

The girl turned her head away, "Whatever, I don't care. You showed us that interview to see our reactions to him, and mine is simple: I don't care about that annoying, ignorant, cruel beast of a soon to be dead idiot."

The bald doctor sighed, "Oh dear, do give the lad a break with his intelligence, don't you think?"

Raven turned to glare full-force, "If he had been smart, he'd have killed me. If he had been kind, he'd have ended my life. If he had just listened to me, I wouldn't be taunted with this collar and no way to kill myself."

Hugo stroked his chin, thinking back to the interview he and the Titans watched, "I think he did it with all that in mind."

Raven blinked a few times at that, "…Beg your pardon?"

He smiled, "Didn't he say he thought you deserved a chance?"

"Yes, he did. But I thought he'd understand me… that idiot." Raven said bitterly.

"And yet, I bet you didn't make it easy for him. It's hard to choose to do the right thing, trust me, and I believe he tried his hardest with you." Hugo replied with a warm smile, "Think of it, he thought it would be best to avoid killing you because he not only didn't want to, but maybe because he knew what it'd mean if he killed you. And I believe there's more than meets the eye with how you act."

Raven lowered her head, grunting, "That idiot… He knows what pain is like and yet he still… Urgh! He… Just thinking about him makes me furious… And… That… That stupid… caring idiot…" she mumbled, making Hugo thank his good hearing as he leaned to listen closely, "He showed Megan some care and compassion… I was just a nuisance to him… He knocked me out because he didn't want to deal with me… I… I hate him!" she glared so hard that Hugo thought for a second he had been shot in the heart, "How dare he say I don't care for anything? He doesn't know anything about me, that annoying doofus with his stupid smile and how he wants to protect and be nice to others. He tried to get to know me, but that doesn't give him any right to judge me."

Hugo tried hard not to chuckle at the monotone of the girl with a small hue of pink on her cheeks, 'Ah, to be young and try hard to deny your feelings…'

XXXXXX

After a nice, uneventful meal at the café, Pam led Naruto to a large green-house. It was a gigantic crystal structure in Gotham's museum, right where they both first met. The place was covered in plants from several regions of the world, each in their own special section, divided in rooms through automatic doors while the weather was kept appropriate for every single plant. The sun shone brightly on several flowers, others were kept under special glasses so they weren't affected too much by the light. Naruto watched as a few staff members greeted Pam with a nod or a wave and went back to their job as the girl moved around and checked on whatever piece of green life needed her attention. She would then tell the nearest person what to do or, to Naruto's shock, wave her hand and revive the plant while cooing at it.

"That's it, baby, just relax and grow nice and strong. Mommy will soon make sure you get enough water now." she said to what had been a branch which then grew rather lively leaves.

"Wow…" was all the blond could say, making Pamela smirk.

"You didn't think I was just another friend of nature, did you? In here I am Mother Nature, and it's for these babies that I'll make Gotham a cleaner, greener place." She said with a bit of cockiness, though it was mostly pride. Amazing the blond merc was fun, especially after what she watched him do.

Naruto smiled, 'It's like Mokuton… Well, what a small world- err, universe.' He walked beside the girl as both approached a massive room with an enormous tree, one Naruto couldn't recognize at all. It was large, that much he knew, but there wasn't much he could make with its features. But the fact it was about two stories high made him whistle, "Well, I guess this is your biggest baby, huh? It's a big guy."

"Not the biggest, but still one of the many I've been working on for quite a long time in this city." Pamela said with a sweet smile as she walked to the tree and caressed its surface. Instantly, the tree came to life and its branches rose up into the sky, shadowing the entire room she and Naruto were in. As the blond leaned back to watch in awe how the redhead gave power and strength to the tree, Pam felt once again pride and warmth in her chest, "There are several trees like this one in Gotham, or rather were. Gotham actually has a swamp nearby, and trees like this one had been cut down or left to rot because of the Wayne legacy."

Naruto looked at Pam, the bitter-sweet taste of her smile made him look up at the majestic tree, "Then I'll help you protect it and its brothers." He said, smiling warmly as he pumped a fist, "If you have the passion to fight for this dream, I got the muscles right here to defend it."

Pam snickered before letting out a small laugh, "How corny can you get?" she said with a true smile, sighing with actual joy, "Still, thanks, Naruto."

Naruto rubbed the back of his head, clearly not expecting that reaction, "Well, give me points for trying, and you're welcome, Pam."

The redhead let go of the tree, watching as it moved back down so the sun could feed the other plants. She left some new life in it, as seen by its livelier leaves and trunk. She spoke up, "These trees, they are my friends, you know?" she said, not really expecting him to say anything about it, "I always loved plants, weird, huh? I found flowers in my garden to be fun to talk to as a kid, I loved reading about plants in classes, and there was nothing more fun for me but to climb trees and check my garden each morning to see how a seed would grow into something filled with life." She then sighed and grabbed her elbow with her other hand, "But once you become green, well, green like me, your chances of human interaction are kind of limited. So, here I am, trying to help my friends, I guess."

Naruto nodded silently, showing his respects. He looked once again to the large tree, and smirked, "I guess I also have a few things to thank to trees…" he said with a chuckle, making Pam turn to him, "I've gotten myself saved thanks to a log several times, and if it weren't for trees I wouldn't be able to move as fast or efficiently as I do. I know this sounds lame, but… I kinda see where you're going… I think."

Pamela smiled warmly, 'I was right, if more people were like him the world would be a beautiful place… though still a rather thick-headed one.' She then blinked, "Wait, how does a log save your life?"

The blond put a finger to his lips, "Shh… don't question it, it's the logic of the log." He said trying to sound mysterious, only making Pam sweat-drop.

XXXXXX

"So, no candy?"

"Mr. Logan, you know as well as I do that most people I tend to are adults. To have candy for a young man your age never crossed my mind. Also, I suppose your friends told you what I want to discuss with you."

"Friends? Heh, I only have a girlfriend, a total babe, by the way." The green-skinned boy said as he laid on his back in the chair's seat, his legs hanging on one of the arms and his head resting on the other. "I'd call her and all, but then I bet you would track her, and I don't want to trouble her with Batman."

Hugo nodded, calmly looking over his knitted fingers, "So, she's the only one you truly care. I bet being thrown in here by Naruto mustn't make you happy of missing a date with her." He said, trying the offensive for once.

Beastboy groaned, "I don't wanna talk about that guy… He was annoying…" the tofu lover said, looking away, "It is kinda sad, he was a fun guy, perhaps we could've gone for a few snacks, play a few games and all if things were different… I just don't know what his deal is." He sat up and looked at the doctor, scratching his chin, "I mean… I know I hate him for beating me, but… I kinda had fun. Weird, huh?"

Hugo nodded, though internally raised a brow, 'Well, this may be easier than I thought…' he stroked his hairy chin as he spoke up, "Perhaps you see a kindred spirit in him, Mr. Logan."

Garfield smiled, letting out a small chuckle, "You could be right, but you know the fun part…? He's kinda like us… I don't know why, but he just makes it all the more fun with how he is like us and yet not quite…I mean, if I ever have a rematch with that stupid fox, I bet it'll be fun if I have my girlfriend backing me up so we can crush him, literally! Hell, the guy would have as much fun as us, though I won't let his weird tricks get me next time. He can do his karate, but when Terra and I fight together, we can't be stopped, I know, we've never lost when playing tag team in Super Smash Bros Brawl."

The doctor had to wipe his forehead from the embarrassed sweat drop on it, 'And I've just been proven wrong.'

XXXXXX

"Let's move faster, please."

"W-What? Why?"

As Pam turned around in the small street of a shopping district to talk to her employee, she heard a loud yell of, "Hey, it's the freak!"

Naruto sighed and held up a hand to signify she didn't have to say a thing. Both turned to see a couple of guys around Pamela's age, or perhaps older, looking at her with a smirk. Most surprisingly, one of them was a kid, a thirteen year old with black hair, and perhaps the most expensive clothes: a black buttoned shirt, a red dress vest, black dress pants and well-polished shoes. He also had one of those hairstyles that made Naruto think of… well, he could name several people, but he decided to file it on "rich snob" due to the hair gel and neatly kept hair.

"Aren't you a little young to be hanging around dudes dressed like this?" the blond asked at the kid as he looked around at the gang of teenagers in trendy clothes, a few of them had muscles, others carried a bat and perhaps more.

"Oh, my friends were going to teach me some baseball." The boy said, sounding calm and collected, being a perfect contrast to his more menacing looking companions by being more menacing in a subtle level. Naruto raised a brow at the reply, "What, they're a few friends?" the boy said with a calm, near emotionless expression, "Okay, I pay for the soda and ice-cream, but I wanted to practice a few swings at the park. But as soon as they saw your girlfriend, they wanted to say hi."

Before Pam could reply to the accusation or shout how wrong the kid was, Naruto hummed with a hand on his chin, "Man, that's the second kid who puts me with her… I mean, she's cute, I wouldn't mind dating someone who is smart and doesn't try to rip me apart." The darker green on Pamela's cheek was mostly because she wasn't sure if half of that was a compliment or not.

The boy grinned in a polite manner, holding his hands behind his back, "My, you're really blunt. A pleasure to meet you, I am Tim Drake… And your friend owes us an apology." He said, aiming a finger at Pam, making her scowl at him, "If it weren't for her trying to control Gotham, how can my friends sleep in peace?" the rest of the gang nodded with pleased smirks at the kid's logic.

Naruto raised a brow, "Control it? Are you and I on the same page or what?"

Tim smirked, "Then surely you don't know… The reason she is trying to make Gotham greener is because she control plants, if plants covered the city, then what of us? We'd be her little slaves if she ever got mad. Not to mention, it doesn't take much for her to control men." He cackled a bit at Naruto's even more confused face, "So, you don't know? She's part plant, and has this special pheromone with which she can mind-control others. Perhaps she did the same to you."

Naruto, to everyone's surprise, even to the point of breaking Tim's smirk, sighed deeply and put a hand on his face, "Well, that'd certainly explain why she smells nice." He said, making Pam blush harder. He continued, "But so far I still feel like myself, so I don't think she did that… But now you owe her an apology." He said, aiming a finger at the kid and his gang, "You not only called her a freak, but you're also insulting her by being an idiot."

"What?!" Tim shouted, his poker face broken.

The blond sighed and tapped his right temple with his index and middle fingers, "An idiot, got it memorized? You are an idiot." He said, aiming both fingers at the boy. He then smirked, 'Time to play Wade and Wanda's trick.' He smirked and said loud and clear, "Next you're gonna say: You, how dare you call me an idiot without knowing who I am? Aren't you?!"

Tim growled and shouted, "You, how dare you call me an idiot without knowing who I a- What?!"

Naruto grinned and pointed both index fingers at the kid, "It's my special ability, to read others…"

"Is this your idea of a joke, you-" Tim started, and instantly Naruto joined him in perfect sync, "Arrogant buffoon!" the boy gasped along his friends, "How?"

The blond laughed, "I'm just good!" he said, pumping a fist. Meanwhile, in a bus ride to Gotham due to Slade not wanting to give any budget at all for this, one pair of hyperactive father and daughter looked up into the sky with a smile of pride, but that didn't mean they forgot the duct-tape.

Tim let out a, "Tch…" and thought his next moves, 'I expected him to be more impulsive after that insult… What's with this guy? I thought I read him but… Damn it, I lost to this buffoon!'

The merc smiled more, "No, I got more experience."

"Gah!" the boy cried, stepping back. He gritted his teeth, "Fine, if that's how you wanna have it, then we're leaving."

"No, you're not." The blond replied, aiming a finger at the kid and his goons, cracking his knuckles loudly, "Unless you really want to get out, you owe Pam an apology."

Tim grinned, "And what are you gonna do, then? Beat us up?" the boy asked with a satisfied smirk, "If you do, then what good would that be? I know you, you're that merc hired by Pam… Even if you can beat the Titans, if you attacked us as a loose cannon, then perhaps the mayor should rethink who he hires, not the first time if you ask me."

Naruto grinned, once again throwing Tim off his game, "Then I'll have Pam say we were attacked…" he grinned wider and turned to his employer, "Hey! We can do it like the bodyguard movie… can I do the slow-motion thing if they throw something at you?" Pam and Tim blinked, before the kid grew flustered, holding his face.

'What is it with this idiot?!' the boy asked himself, feeling his head about to explode.

Naruto cackled again, in good mood, "I told you, I'm just good."

"Gah… You…" Tim refrained himself from saying more unless the blond taunted him further… So, swallowing his pride, he spoke up, "W-We're sorry…" he growled internally, 'I'm sorry I can't get to beat you in public or Batman would kill me, probably in a literal way.'

"And the rest?" Naruto asked, looking at the other bunch. They also apologized, but Naruto smirked, "You don't have to say it to me, you say that to Pam." He said, aiming a finger to said girl, who was trying hard to contain full-blown laughter to add more salt to the injury of the brat and his grunts.

One of the grunts aimed a finger at the duo, "You still have no right to fight any of us, and no matter if it was self-defense and you got everyone to agree with you, who'd believe a freak like her?"

Naruto raised a hand, curling his fingers into a fist so tightened that his knuckles cracked loudly enough to make the bigmouthed thug wince at the future pain, "I really dislike that word." The blond said.

'Why does this idiot doesn't care about himself? If he fights us, it'll be him who gets in trouble, not us… But if he fights me… Damn it… Damn it! I was supposed to show him his place! He's a nobody compared to the master… Damn it!' Tim bowed his face as he apologized, trying to make his now sweaty hair bangs cover his face distorted by anger. His goons winced, something that didn't go unnoticed by Naruto. They just knew what Hell their small leader would put them through for this failure of his.

"We're sorry…" they said as one.

Naruto laughed loudly, walking to the kid and ruffling his hair, "Good, you're learning manners now, don't forget them, kiddo!" he said, unable to see the maddening look in the kid's eyes as his eyelids twitched and veins pulsed in his forehead. He ran instantly, with his goons following him when Naruto looked at them with a smile and his fists up, "Oh please, do tell me you want to give me a warm-up." He said with his best impersonation of Wade, making the thugs run after their little boss. Once again, the father and daughter duo felt pride as they ate a six foot subway sandwich in the bus despite the driver's protests.

Naruto turned to his client, offering her his hand, "So, where to next, Pam?"

The redhead smiled brightly and grabbed his arm in between her own as she pulled the blond to a cheap but fine looking restaurant that despite its simplicity made a tear come to his eye, "Here, I heard you wanting ramen, so I was thinking about getting you something nice for what you did… After this, well, we just need to kill time until tomorrow." She said as Naruto had to wipe his eyes at the beautiful sight of a real ramen restaurant. There were even dishes low on calories and a few for vegetarians, which would explain why Pam was attached to it.

But for Naruto, "Pam… You're a great person, don't let anyone tell you otherwise." He was, of course, referring to her incredible kindness at bringing his puny mortal self to a ramen stand, but for Pam that alone made her have to shake her head to make her large blush die.

XXXXXX

Lyle Bolton watched with raised eyebrows as his prison's psychiatrist walked with a heated face and embarrassed face out of his office after calling him. "Mr. Strange, is something the matter? Were you threatened or-"

The good doctor interrupted him, "I will need the help of a female doctor with this one since I doubt a male doctor could listen to… well… That was too much, even for me… If you'll excuse me, I need a cold shower."

The warden raised one brow slightly higher, "I am almost afraid to ask, but what happened?"

"Let's say she has quite the imagination… a twisted one." The doctor shuddered, "I don't know whether to feel for that poor Uzumaki boy or envy him."

"Okay, it can't be that bad, Mr. Strange." The warden said to try to calm the man, who turned to him with an angry glare and whispered something into his ear, making the warden shake his head furiously as he tried to regain his thoughts, "All right, I stand corrected… I'll see if I can contact someone capable…"

Hugo raised a hand, "I already called for someone, an old colleague of mine, a fine student too… Though perhaps a bit eccentric she's a person who can use her personality to get to others in ways I never thought possible. After all, she's been helping those who were affected by the Batman." He looked at the warden with a calmer expression, "Of course, if it's okay with you."

"With what you've said, it better save us cold water… I need a shower too… I feel dirty." The warden said with a shudder.

XXXXXX

And that's my rap!

Sorry if the date- I mean, NON-date took a bit too long, so next chapter will be the end of it before returning to the main plot. Also, for those of you who guessed who I took inspiration to have Naruto trolling, you earned yourselves an imaginary cookie.

And a BIG thanks to the guys who gave me all that good advice for the simpler parts of this time together between Naruto and Pamela. Next chapter will be the establishments, perhaps even karaoke if I got madder than usual.

Swordslinger out!