ANNOUNCEMENT: Hello! First of all we want to thank from the bottom of our hearts all of you who stuck by this fic, whether you were here from the beginning, middle or almost the end, so that includes all you recent readers too ^_^ Thanks guys, we never thought this would go so far and it wouldn't have if you hadn't been there to support us, and also giving us new ideas that were so awesome *cough cough* cheesy, mushy speech *cough cough* But seriously, we love you guys. We've enjoyed reading your comments and reviews so much! We've laughed with the things you've written and had so much fun doing it.
READ! Please make sure to read the last note at the end. Now, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, the last chapter of "Reasons why no to join the Fellowship of the Ring"
42- Seriously?! Is there no way to escape this fucking World?!
It had been almost a year since I had started living at Minas Tirith with the rest of the Fellowship. Since the war was over there was not really much for me to do there, so I lived my days in peace, making myself an enemy of the royal chef by stealing all the pastries with the hobbits, getting found out dead drunk in the wine cellars, they even taught me how to smoke! Scaring the shit out of some guards at night by making scary-ass skeleton and zombie heads, some with special material to put fire in them, and then hanging them in the middle of their way at the dead of night, making them shriek and run as if hell was on their tail, bickering with a few men and women who thought I was not a proper lady… you know, just making life as interesting as possible. Little by little, I was getting used to life here at Middle earth, yet I still missed my old life with my family and friends, but I guess that I was starting to think that spending the rest of my life here wouldn't be so bad. Aragorn and I had become really close friends and we loved to spend time together, race each other on horseback, and smoke on the evenings while chatting, but I could not see him as often I used to since he was king now and was married to Arwen, who sometimes would throw me dirty, warning looks when I spoke with him. That woman might look heaven-sent, but she can be a really scary gal when she wanted to.
Gimli, on the other hand, always treated me like one of the men. We loved drinking ourselves to waste, and he would tell me stories of his people that would entertain me for hours. He really knows how to tell a story. We would also joke around and sing. I learned quite a few songs with him that we would sing for hours. At the same time, Legolas was almost always near, staying clear of us if we decided to smoke and even joining us in the drinking games, even if was obvious that there was no way to beat him. His songs were much more melodious and softer than Gimli's, but I managed to learn a few as well. But, my relationship with the elf was still a little bit rocky. We could tolerate each other much better now, but we still bickered and were at each other's throat constantly. For some reason we couldn't just click. Sometimes we were screaming on each other's faces, I admit it was almost always my fault… okay fine, it was always my fault, but even if we were always getting angry at each other, it normally took only a few minutes for us to cool down, and if we tried to glare at each other, we would just end up laughing and becoming "friends" again.
It was one of those now rare days when we were all together. Even Arwen, Faramir and Eowyn had decided to join us. We were all taking a walk around a forest close to Minas Tirith. Everyone was having a pleasant conversation and the mood of having us all together, relaxed and joking around was something I really enjoyed, even if I would never admit it to them. I had already resigned myself to living my whole life in this place, seeing as there was really no possible way to go back home. I guess you could say that I was happy I had them as friends… we really are an odd bunch.
I was so deep in my thoughts that I didn't notice that I was walking onto a mossy rock until I slipped on the moss and my feet gave out completely and I fell back with such force that my head slammed violently onto a rock. My vision went white for a moment and I was only conscious of a disgusting cracking sound. When I opened my eyes I was on the floor, surrounded by a bunch of people whose faces were riddled with terror. It took me a while to notice that I was in the arms of the last person I thought would ever hold me so gently, yup, the elf. I tried to look up but his hand quickly steadied my face.
"Do not move!" he said, panic and fear audible in his voice.
I was confused, I still could not feel anything but a numb sensation on my neck.
"We must take her to a healer or she will die!" Eowyn exclaimed in alarm.
"What?" I asked, not understanding.
I raised my eyes to look at Legolas with a questioning look. I was about to engage in a playful banter about him holding me so, but the look of sorrow in his eyes made my soul freeze for a moment.
"What is going on?!"
That is when I noticed the weakness of my own voice. At the same time, I began to feel a burning sensation on my neck and head, and a wetness around my shoulders. I placed a hand on my neck, only to remove it instantly when I felt a hot liquid using from behind my neck. I looked at it and my hand began to shake. That's when I started getting scared… and mad. I had fought so many wars, so many battles, survived surprised attacks from giant wolves, gotten out of the way of gigantic elephants and trolls, gotten out of sieges, gone through that hell whole full of murderous ghosts and what not, and this is how I end? By slipping on moss?! This has to be the most pathetic death in all of Middle earth!
"We have to take her now!" Eowyn shouted.
"We cannot move her like this," Aragorn said. "We must steady her neck first or she will have no chance of surviving," he said while looking around for things to help him make a tourniquet, Faramir quickly offering him his help.
I could hear Pippin crying close by and my eyes fell on the small form of the hobbit, whose sobs were wrecking his body. In fact, all four hobbits were shedding tears, even Sam! It was then that my eyes began to fall on each person there. Aragorn was a few feet away, quickly making a tourniquet, his eyes crystalized by unshed tears. Faramir was beside him, and he spared at glance at me. When our eyes met, his became heavy with sorrow and I saw him swallow hard. I then looked at Arwen, for the first time our eyes met and she was not glaring at me, rather, there was a look of heaviness on her. Eowyn was at my feet, her hands covering half of her face as she cried desperately. Gandalf and Gimli stood beside each other. Gimli's face was riddled with complete disbelief and there was a hint of sorrow that was being suppressed by denial. Gandalf stared at me, a form of disbelief also present in his old eyes. His face was soft and full of compassion as one who does not wish to say goodbye.
I never thought I would see people suffering so much for me, especially these people. It was then that I realized just how much I did love them on the inside, and how they loved me. Then, a soft and gentle, yet urgent voice called my name.
My eyes slowly moved to the origin of the voice, and found myself entranced into pools of blue. Legolas looked at me with such a deep sorrow that it shook me a little. Never in my life did I think that I would see so much care and something almost akin to love, in his eyes.
That's when I realize that this was really happening. My chest tightened as I felt fear surging within me. I really was going to die. My eyes started to water. I wanted to cry but for some reason I couldn't, there was a knot in my throat and it wouldn't let me. At that moment, Aragorn came over with some cloth and pieces of branches to start making the tourniquet. He gently held my face and turned my neck, but when his eyes fell on the wound, the stunned and helpless look in his eyes told me that I was done for.
I let out a small, bitter chuckle and forced a smile onto my face. I looked at them all and whispered coarsely:
"What's this? Some time ago you gladly allowed an orc drag me by the skirt to become its diner, but now because I slipped on moss you freak out so much? I would have done this a long time ago had I known it would have gotten me your sympathy."
"Stop, do not speak more Alexandra. Save your strength," Legolas said and I swore I could hear a quiver in his voice.
I stared at Legolas for a moment, and all of a sudden I felt a peacefulness take over me. I took a lungful of air and started to speak, slowly but calmly.
"You know, I never told you guys how I do not hate you so much. In fact, I think I kind of, sort of like you all. I mean, Gimli might smell sometimes, but he's the greatest story teller ever. And Frodo, thanks for not letting the Fellowship leave me stranded that day in the middle of nowhere. You were always on top of my list. And Sam, your cooking is awesome, and I hate that nobody gives you enough credit for what you did for Frodo, but know that I always saw you as one of the biggest heroes. Merry, Pippin, I would have never had so much fun here in Middle earth had it not been for you guys. But Pip, that little crush you have in me is super weird."
I looked at the hobbit who chocked a sob. That moved me, so I smiled and beckoned him with my hand to come close. The poor little one stumbled to his feet, and Merry had to help him half way. When he was close enough, I extended my arm and placed it on his set of curly hair and gently brought him down until his forehead came into contact with my lips. I gave him a weak smile as he pulled back, and he returned one as he continued to cry.
"At least someone openly said they liked me," I added with the most humorous tone I could muster. I then looked at Merry. "Merry, you take good care of my little Pippin here, and make sure he doesn't smoke himself to death."
The hobbit laughed within his silent sobs and nodded. I fist bumped him, something I had taught the hobbits when we began to get along.
"Arwen, I know you don't exactly like me and I can't blame you for that," I said, smiling a bit mischievously. "But know that your husband is really special to me as a brother. Know that you're one lucky bit- uh, lady, uh, elf, lady, yeah, one lucky elf lady for having that hunk as a husband. Eowyn," I said, looking at her and extending my hand to grab hers. She came closer and smiled as she gripped my hand. "I love you, you were the only female here who befriended me and I love how hardcore and badass you are, even if you have no idea what that means, but seriously woman, you have got to take cooking lessons, for Faramir and your children's sake. Also, you too are one lucky, ahem, lady, for having married such a hunk of man as Faramir," then I looked at Faramir and winked at him, which made him choke out a sad smile. Then I looked at Gandalf. "You grumpy, old wizard…" then smiled from the heart. "You are the greatest, most kickass wizard I have ever seen in my life. I could only wish to stalk you long enough to find out the secret for your agility at this age, although you should do something about those wrinkles and that girly robe. Trust me, if you fix those things, and your awful character, the ladies will come crawling for you."
The wizard chuckled, but he quickly tried to hide it by clearing his throat, though he did smile. "You were always such an insufferable trouble maker, Alexandra… I think I will miss you, even if just a little."
"Thanks, old man, from you that's practically an "I love you"."
The wizard coughed a little but said nothing. I then looked at Aragorn who was still by my side. I looked up at him and he stared down at me with that warm, brotherly smile. His eyes glistened with unshed tears as he held my hand in silent comforting. I opened my mouth but choked up a little, tears starting to finally fall down my face.
"Man, you really are the most noble and good hearted person here in the whole kingdom, and that annoys me to no end, but I also love you for it. You were the brother I never had but wished I did." I then stopped, deciding to keep the rest of my thoughts to myself, otherwise I would have ended confessing that had I not known that he was destined to marry the lucky bastard of Arwen I would have done everything within my power to marry the fuck out of him. I had to hold in a chuckle at the thought. "I know you'll make a great king and an awesome father, I have no doubt of that. But don't let that crown get to your head or my spirit will hunt you forever. Trust me, you know me well enough," I said, adding a smile before squeezing his hand.
At last, I looked at Legolas, who had kept silent through all of this. I could only stare into his eyes for so long as he stared into mine. So many thoughts flooded my mind as we silently shared that moment.
"Legolas, as I look at you I can only think of all those times we spent bickering, yelling at each other, trying to murder the other, glaring, hating, that time you almost tore my hand off when Gandalf forced us to shake hands, insulting the crap out of one another… but for some reason, I feel that I will miss you the most."
My body shuddered quite violently as a cold feeling began to take over me. I could see through my hazy vision how Legolas' eyes widened and panic showed in his face. His arms pressed me harder against his body and I could feel a very hard and fast pulse of his heart.
"Alex…" he whispered so softly that I wondered if I had imagined it.
I could no longer even lift my eyes to look at him as I continued to speak, my words coming out quite softly and slowly.
"You know, Legolas, you are not such a bad guy. You were always very brave, and you looked so cool when you climbed that Mumakil and brought it down. That definitely counts as more than one and Gimli would know if he played some video games. The big ones always give you more points. Yeah, I guess you are not so bad. And I don't really hate you… I think… I think I might have even begun… to… lo… ve… y…"
I could hear screams on the distance, so many voices calling me as I was finally embraced by the darkness, and felt myself floating away.
When I opened my eyes I was surrounded by clouds and I was dressed in white. In the distance before me I could see a light shining brighter and brighter and brighter until the light blinded me. When I could see once more, I saw that before me stood a giant golden gate, and before that gate was a man. By some celestial inspiration I knew that was Saint Peter and that those were the gates of Heaven.
I walked over to him all excitedly thinking that I would finally go to a place where I would not have to walk or work anymore, I would finally be at peace. No more peeing behind the bushes or blisters on my feet, no more weeks without showering, no more having to scrub away orc blood and guts, no more eating the same thing for weeks on end, yup, I was ready to go to Heaven. At that moment he was reading a big, golden book and when he sensed my approach, he looked up. He did a double take and instantly stood before the gate with his arms and legs extended in front of it in defensive position. I stopped, startled, and looked behind me thinking that something bad was coming. Seeing as there was no one, I looked at the Saint again.
"Hi! I'm Alexandra-" but I was cut off by the man.
"I know very well who you are," he said, forcing a weak smile. "According to this book," he said, stopping to read it over. His eyes then widened and he looked back at me. "Well, somehow you seem to have made it in but…" he looked at me and raised a finger. "Could you excuse me for a second?"
He left and a minute later he came back. He had a huge, and I mean comically huge smile plastered on his face as he approached me.
"Congratulations, Alexandra! You are one of the lucky few who gets to not die!" he said, swinging his arm for effect.
"Huh?" I said, really not understanding where this was going.
"That's right you… you lucky person you. You get to live! Go back to your wonderful friends and your wonderful life and be happy."
"Wait," I put my hands up in a stopping motion. "Wait, wait, wait, wait, you mean to tell me that you're sending me back to that hell hole?! I'd rather die!... Again!"
"Well, you know what? God even decided to give you the gift of immortality of the elves, so you will never have to die," he said, clapping his hands in a jolly manner.
I raised a trembling finger to point back down at earth. "You mean, I'm staying down there… Forever?"
"Forever," he said with a jolly smile. "Now," he stopped and waved his hand before bowing dramatically. "I bid you adieu."
"Noooooo!" I screamd as I felt myself being pulled back down. "Wait! Please wait!" I screamed as I fell. Then I turned to look down and realized that I was actually heading towards my original home at Earth.
"Yes! Yes, yes, yes! I'm going home! I can see my house and my room! My laptop is still there and so is my phone! I can see the mall! Fuck yeah I'm going home! World here I come!"
Just as I was about to enter my world, my soul was forced in another direction, making me miss my World by inches.
"No, no wait! WAIT! Wrong way, wrong way, wrong way!"
There was a bright light and suddenly I came up jolting from where I was laying, which so happened to be Legolas' lap. My forehead slammed against his and we both exclaimed in pain and surprise.
"Fuck, damn it that hurts! What's your head made of, steel?!" yup, those were my first words when I came back from the dead.
Suddenly I became aware of where I was. I looked at everyone, stunned and with disbelief. On the other hand, the rest of the people there stared at me with just as much disbelief. I didn't feel Legolas gently tug to pull me back and I didn't register his words at first when he realized that I was completely healed.
"She is alright!" he exclaimed. "Her wound is gone!"
Everyone suddenly began to cheer and cry tears of joy. There was only one person who still couldn't believe what was happening, and that was me.
"NOOOOOOO!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, startling everyone and effectively stopping their cheers. I stood up suddenly at lightning speed and looked around. "Where's that damned rock?!" I spotted the blood stained rock and ran to it. Adrenaline was pumping within my body as I kneeled before the rock and prepared to slam my forehead against it.
I heard a loud choir of 'NO!' and some 'Grab her!' just as my head was about to hit the rock, yet it never did. I felt two pairs of arms wrap around me and drag me away.
"What on earth are you doing lassie?!" Gimli exclaimed.
"What do you think I'm doing you retarted dwarf?" I screamed as I trashed around trying to get free of Aragorn and Faramir's hold. "I'm trying to kill myself!"
"What?!" a bunch of them asked at the same time.
"What's wrong with you?! Aren't you happy that you're alive?" Eowyn asked, worry visible on her face.
"Happy?! You think I'm happy?! I was finally gonna get away from all you guys! I was finally gonna be free of this blasted existence!"
"But I thought you said you liked us!" Merry said.
"Like you?! Who the hell said I liked you?!"
"You said that!" Gimli exclaimed.
"Like hell I did!"
I struggled for a long time until I was completely worn out.
"We will release you now, Alex," Aragorn said when he saw I was too tired to fight anymore. "You need to calm down, we will release you but you must calm down. Alright?"
Aragorn and Faramir released me and I slumped to the ground, whining like a child. Everybody stood still for a while and stared at me as if I had gone crazy. Then I felt someone kneel beside me and place a hand on my shoulder. I looked to see Legolas giving me a worried look.
"Go away!" I said, shoving him off.
"No! I don't want to see you!"
"But Alexandra, I thought you said you loved me."
It was then that I felt my face burn like fire. My eyes were as wide as saucers as I slowly inched my face in his direction.
"I-I never," I stuttered. "I di-dn't, I would never…" then I stood up and started to remember those last moments when I actually did say all those nice things to the people here. I don't know just how fast I must have moved to accomplish what I did, but in the blink of an eye I reached for a large, thick branch that was beside me. "DON'T EMBARRASS ME YOU NARCISSISTIC BASTARD!" *SMACK*
Legolas winced slightly as Aragorn tightened the cloth around the big bump on his forehead.
"You really do know how to pick them Legolas," said Aragorn as he finished tying the knot.
"Indeed," Legolas said, pissed.
"Well lad," Gimli said in a teasing tone. "She sure gave it to you hard."
"NOT. ANOTHER. WORD." said the elf in a warning tone before walking off.
Hey guys! So what did you think of that ending? Did any of you thought she would actually die? Who shed tears for our beloved Alex or at least felt moved? Let us know on the comments below! So it is in this moment that we will announce to you that there will be a SEQUEL! Yes, you heard us right, a sequel! We do not want to give much away, but the title will be "The many adventures of Alex and Thranduil." This idea mainly came from a few pictures that we saw on DeviantArt and we thought it'd be a great idea if Alex and Thranduil met. This will be the Thranduil that the fandom created before The Hobbit came out. I have the links to some of the pictures on my profile so check it out if you want and PM me if you have any ideas. We would love to know what you think and have to say about it!
We won't post it for a little while, but when we do we will announce it on this thread so that you may look for it. We hope it won't be more than a few weeks, but since we haven't started yet, (we only have brainstorms and stuff) it may take a bit.
Thank you all so so so so so much for liking and reading this story. We feel honored that so many of you supported us and it makes us really happy to see that our story made you laugh as much as we hoped it would. Look forward for more Alex craziness and Middle earth chaos soon! Until next time! Windy-san and She elf out! :D