Disclaimer: I don't own Pretty Little Liars.

Hanna's love and pain

Adult Hanna's POV:

Hi, everyone!

My name's Hanna Clarissa Marin and I'm a beautiful blonde woman. I have a perfect skinny sexy body and I look like the sort of woman most men dream about.

Some would say that I've got a life with no problems and maybe I do, but if I do, things were in no way always like that.

A long time ago I was chubby and very insecure.

I was part of a group along with Ali, Aria, Em and Spencer, but I was always the less cool one. Ali even gave me that stupid fuckin' nickname 'Hefty Hanna'.

Flashback to when Hanna and the other girls are 12 years old:

Hanna walk up to her locker in school, open it and grab her math-books.

"Hi, Hefty Hanna! What's goin' on?" says Alison as she suddenly appear next to Hanna.

Alison has one of her classic evil / sexy smiles on her face. She also wear new cool clothes. Tight black leather top and gray skinny jeans and white shoes.

"Nothin'...just the regular crap." says Hanna in a sad voice without even looking at Alison.

"Hanna, you need to do something about that fat body of yours if you don't wanna die a virgin." says Alison in a soft voice, a voice that would friendly if it came from someone else's mouth.

"I could try the local gym, but people would laugh at me, cuz I'm the fat loser." says Hanna, who almost start to cry.

"Awww, lil' Hanna!" says Alison as she hug her friend.

"Hi, girls!" says Aria as she open her locker.

( Aria has her locker next to Hanna's )

Aria does a hair-flip with her dark hair with pink highlights.

"Aria, you look kinda sexy today. Me likey." says Alison as she wink at Aria.

"Oh, gee...thanks!" says Aria as she blush a bit.

Suddenly Alison feel a hand on her shoulder.

She turn around to see Spencer with a pile of books under her left arm.

"Ladies, we're almost late for class." says Spencer in her typical calm mature voice. "We should get goin' now."

"Hi, girls!" says Emily with her cute cheerful voice as she walk up to her friends.

"Hi, Em!" says Aria as she give Emily a friendly hug. "Apparently we're late...at least that is what Spencie tells us."

"Don't call me Spencie anymore. I hate it." says Spencer.

"Sorry..." says Aria. "I think it's kinda cute."

"Aria, please! We're not 5 years old here." says Spencer.

The 5 girls walk to class together, talking about clothes, make-up and boys and such on the way.

End of flashback.

I was always sort of an outsider in our friend-team. The girl who was way too shy to have an opinion about important stuff.

Aria and I has always been best friends, but during those early years after we had met Ali things went a little downhill between me and Aria.

I wasn't cool enough in Ali's eyes and Aria started to hang out with Ali more and more by the week to gain some popularity-score and seem hot in front of boys.

Every night I used to cry myself to sleep, dreamin' about being skinny and awesome. Havin' guys turn head after me wherever I go.

A few years later the ironic faith gave me the opportunity to become skinny and sexy.

When Ali died I ( together with Mona ) became the new popular girl at Rosewood High.

I was so fuckin' happy! Finally I looked like the girl I was in my dreams. Now I could be as pretty on the outside as I am on the inside.

Flashback to the day when new skinny and beautiful Hanna goes out in public for the first time:

Hanna is walking down the street. She's wearing a short tight purple dress and she has black shoes with 5,5 inch silver-heels.

"I can feel people's eyes on me. Thank God for being beautiful. No more 'Hefty Stupid Hanna' ever again." says Hanna to herself.

"Hi there, Han! Talkin' to ourselves are we? That's kinda strange, but also so cute." says Mona as she suddenly walk out in front of Hanna from seemingly nowhere.

"Mona. Nice to see you. You're my real friend." says Hanna.

The two girls hug each other.

End of flashback.

I was such a fuckin' airhead.

Mona made me think that she was my friend, even though she was...you know...'A'.

How could I be so much of a kid...?

Life was never easy for long for younger me.

Often did I ask myself and God this question: "Won't things ever be good and calm for little Hanna?"