The clock has been ticking for him for quite some time now.
Tick. Tick. Tick.
How long has it been again?
Maybe, with the length of time he's been in there. It might as well be years since time passes so differently in Asgard. Though it's still hard to think that it had been years...
Could be? After all there was no denying it or confirming it. It was getting harder to question these things when you don't have much sanity left in you, especially when you're locked up with no one to talk to but yourself.
Hah! Impossible. With that much time in their hands, it couldn't be limited to days.
Do you jest?
If you count the agony, the pain and self-pity, I suppose that would officially count.
In each and every passing second, he waits for his freedom.
Why must he be the one to take all the blame for the hope of retaining the peace that was once lost between the realms. To start at the very beginning, his tortured soul and his ever breaking heart had been stomped on for decades and centuries without anyone noticing.
Not once, perhaps some speculation on it, but barely able to address it.
How long did he have to endure this endless torture?
Not even the person he considered his brother, nor the people he considered his parents and to add to that, those that he called his friends, ever came to see him.
Must his life continue to break down.
Pieces of himself had already been shattered and the ones surrounding him continue to break it apart, they don't realize the pain and suffering he had to endure to survive the endless torture parading itself in front of him, showing to him that he had to embrace the fact that his life will never cease to end this way.
It took him a while to embrace his fate, his destiny and it was all a lie.
To have your own destiny, to live up to your dreams, to walk down the right path, have that leap of fate. All of it was a lie he grew up to know, years, decades and centuries had he carried out these lies, only to live in its filthy truth that he will never achieve any of those.
He will never be good to anyone.
He will never make a name as good as his brother will.
He will never be King.
The fate of Loki.
Driven to the point of insanity, his heart burns and aches as the coldness surrounds him. His body weakened and he could taste the blood working its way out of his mouth.
His body trembling and his breathing erratic.
Thoughts and memories had been flooding his mind since he was taken back into the halls of Asgard, since his defeat with the Avengers.
He could remember walking through the halls of Asgard, people cheering for Thor and eyes on him like a plague. He could only hear his heavy breathing and the beating of his heart, his mind focused on their words.
The heaviness continued to weigh down on him even more when his trial awaits for him, but no trial had come for the decision had already been made aware when he was not there.
Loki stopped in front of the All-father, head held high as he awaits for his punishment, unclear as it was, his punishment had come sooner than he expected.
He hears muffled voices but he was too focused on everything else on his mind that his brain couldn't register the sounds.
There was a numbness surrounding him, an all too familiar void that he desperately wished, would go away.
He remembered being ripped from Thor's grasp and his brother's shouts and attempts to take him back had violently gone astray, but alas, his brother's efforts to take him back had gone south.
He felt something collide with his head and the darkness had briefly clouded his thoughts. He opened his eyes to see himself on the floor, blinking away the pain, he could see Thor in the other side of the room, being dragged by numerous guards out of the Kings throne room.
Loki was picked up by the guards and shoved to the side, metal clanking on his wrists as the cuffs dug deeper into his skin.
Disoriented as he was, he stumbled for some balance only to be pushed again.
The coldness of his blood dripping to his side, he could feel the taste of vomit working its way into his throat.
He could feel he guards grips on his shoulder tighten as he felt himself being dragged into the deepest darkest parts of the underground prison where he knew torture was open to those that have attempted on life or have taken life with each passing judgement.
He was thrown into a cell, waiting for the time to pass. They took the muzzle and the cuffs off and he began to rub at them for some comfort or relief, sadly, there was just dismay.
How did he come to be beaten, that blood would drip from his mouth?
His magic depleted and locked, he was left vulnerable to their touch.
How did he end up on the floor like a rag?
His voice never even reaching anyone as they threw him endlessly on the cold hard floor, beating him and letting him scream and beg. Time has passed where not even a day would come that he could lay there in peace, everyday, he thinks, has a different story.
How long had he been there?
There was no telling, but there are these questions that will forever linger.
Who was making the choices in this?
Who was making him do this?
What lead him here?
Fate was the answer.
This was his fate as he keeps telling himself.
No matter how much he begged, screamed, retaliated, rebelled, fought, and anything else that he could do to escape this horror, he would be ignored.
As if his own existence was to be tortured into this eternal punishment.
Not once did he remember Odin visit him, nor did Frigga or Thor or any of the people he knew.
Just the guards.
"Lies, trickery, betrayal." It went back towards him.
Slowly but surely, time was moving for him. He was unsure of how long he had been there. He had lost count of the minutes, the hours, the days, months, years that could have passed. He could never know, he could never ask, he could never see daylight again and all of Asgard's beauty.
But those things were easy to disregard.
For now, all he could think of was his sanity. He was alone and all he could see was the cold bricked floor, bars and hard wall surrounding him. No sunlight, no night, no warmth, just the dim lit torches at the sides illuminating the room.
The only ones that he saw were the guards and they were the only ones who ever entered and exited the prison out of command.
For now, those were just memories.
Memories he could remember, the ones that he couldn't take his mind off, because those memories were the only ones he could think of.
The happiness had flown out of him long before his arrival into Asgard, it was ripped from him when he fell off the Bifrost and into the void.
The emotions running in him were distant memories to him.
He could no longer feel the positive emotions he once had, even if he recalled a happy moment, he could no longer express it.
All he knew was to hate, to hurt, to feel pain, to be bitter, to seclude himself, to pity, to judge, to stay alive...
What good does that do but cause more pain?
He sits there in the prison cell, hands embracing his knees as it was pulled up to his chest.
Blood dripping from his lips and his hair a mess, his tunic tattered and black pants cut. His eyes staring into the cold hard floor, his stomach had been growling for who knows how long.
Loki was so sure that if someone were to hoist him up and carry him, which was unlikely, that they would have no problems.
He had gotten thinner with time and not being fed was the main reason.
He was being fed but it was on a rare occasion.
Those times wherein he'd really obey, they would give him a substance mushed together of what looks like left overs or something, but the hunger would definitely settle and Loki would have no choice but to intake it, for there are no other food being given.
When he refused, they would force the food down his throat and at one point, he had almost died when he choked on too much, it had settled in his throat and the guard had to kick him a lot, disgusted to touch him.
Loki learned not to anger the guards too much.
For it would cost him more pain than already intended.
Days, months, years?
Frustrating as it was, he could never tell anymore.
It had been months that he'd kept his cool being stuck in a prison, but as time passed, things were breaking for him.
It had begun with murmurs, whispers and small sounds.
Weeks after, his voice being louder and he was speaking to himself. There was no one to talk to, not even the guards, and why let his voice go to waste, he thinks.
So he talks to himself, entertains himself, it wasn't fun being alone.
With no one around to end the silence slowly and surely wrapping itself around him, embracing him to accept the fact that he had no one.
No even Thor.
Not even himself.
When will this insanity end?
Truth be told, that this is just the beginning of his insanity.
Loki sat in the corner, staring into the empty darkness. He continues to whisper cries and pleas to be free, yet there was no emotion in his words.
They're all empty.
He whispers of his attempts and his plans, then disregards them, going into another plan. Slowly he drummed his fingers together, staring into the ceiling.
"Perhaps you could convince them using your talent?" He asked himself.
He blinks, shaking his head.
"Better yet why not just try and kill them, far easier to lunge at them."
Loki ponders on the thought.
"No? Do not like the idea?"
This continued on and on, questions and answers suited for himself, and it was becoming a bother because Loki knew himself that this was the start of his insanity.
Slowly it will swallow him up and soon, he wouldn't realize how far he had dug the hole himself. For now, he understood what was happening, and it was fun to think of it, because there was no cure to this.
There was a cure, but he will never get it.
Loki began to hum inside the prison cell, as he buried his chin on his hands and knees as he stared at the empty hallway through the bars.
He noticed a familiar shadow working its way towards his cell.
"How does my criminal brother fare?"
The malicious threatening tone of Thor's voice echoed throughout the prison cell making Loki look up to see Thor grasping at the handle of the bars, grinning at him.
"H-how d-did..." Loki tilts his head and frowns. "W-why?"
"Why have I visited you now rather than before?" Loki nods and Thor laughs. "Surely you know!"
Loki tries to think but his head suddenly felt light, stars lighting around his eyes and he began to gasp for air. He clutched at his aching head and saw a blurry Thor walk towards him.
When Loki managed to focus, he had wondered how Thor had gotten inside the cell without opening the bars.
"Why are you here?" Loki whispers.
Thor kneels, grinning maliciously and cups a lock of Loki's hair.
"Do you not want to see me Loki? Do you not want me?"
He leans forward, whispering to Loki's ear and Loki cringes at the cold breath. He could feel that it was just his imagination.
"Thor, why did you come here?" He acts confident.
"To see how you are being punished!"
Loki began to tremble.
"Oh, such a pathetic sight I see."
Loki concludes that this isn't Thor, Thor wouldn't say those things so Loki closed his eyes tight and shut his ears off. Though he could still hear Thor's voice loud and clear.
"Such a pity and a shame that you would waste away in this prison." Not-Thor said.
"I will get out." Loki whispers back. "I will be free."
"When would that be?" Thor spat. "When Asgard is in flames? That would happen centuries later and by then, you would just be another weak pathetic excuse of a criminal setting foot in the remains of the Aesir."
"Leave me alone." Loki tiredly says.
"You need me."
"I do not! And you're not Thor."
"Yes I am, I am your brother." Thor's voice pleads. "Look at me, see me, for I am him."
"No more." Loki breathes. "No."
"But Loki, you wound me. I thought you love me."
"You're not real."
"I am real to you."
Not-Thor tilts his head, cupping Loki's chin with his ghostly touch as Loki eyes shot front to his not brother. He could see emptiness, he could see himself, a reflection of his pitiful self.
"Stop it." Loki hugs his knees closer as his head drops. "You're just a figment of my imagination."
"Am I really?" Not-Thor's words echoed through the room.
"Stop." He tiredly pleads. "Please."
"You will want me back-"
The echoes faded away as Loki lifts his head up to see that Thor was no longer there, he rubs at his eyes, this wasn't happening.
He shakes his head violently.
He was loosing it!
He was going mad!
He was hallucinating just then.
Loki goes back to burying his face into his knees, his chest rising up and down.
The guards had checked him to see what he was whispering about, they were unsure whether he was laughing or crying but they were sure that he was loosing it.
Insanity, this wasn't even half of it.
Loki sat there staring at the ceiling, it had been weeks since his encounter with the Thor hallucination and just when he thought he was free from it, oh how he was proved wrong. He had forgotten about everything else and all he could focus on was the illusion he was casting in his own mind.
Did he really need Thor?
Just as he kept pondering on the idea, he had begun to unconsciously scratch at his wrist. Days of scratching and at one point, it had already begun to bleed.
Then the blood would dry up and he would scratch again.
Loki could only stare at the scratches from his sharp uncut nails, it was painful and yet he continues to do this because it was somewhat making him feel better. With the lack of though that is, the comfort in his own mind seem pleasurable and he wanted more.
"Did you really think you could get rid of me?"
Loki's eyes shot forward as he saw not-Thor leaning crossed arm, on the wall of his corner. The grin was still plastered on his stupid face and Loki couldn't help but glare.
"Not really, no." Loki muttered.
"Don't call me that."
"Why? I am your brother am I not?"
"No." He says harshly and scratches at his wrists. "You're not my brother, you're a figment of my imagination. A simple hallucination that has been plaguing my very mind. Now leave me alone."
"You wound me Loki."
"You've said that before."
"Indeed I have."
Loki closes his eyes, trying to scratch away hoping that the pain would cause him to forget, to cause him to start thinking of something else rather than Thor. He had not seen the hallucination in days now and he had thought that was an accomplishment, but now, it was just creepy.
"You think pain would send me away?" Thor asked, as Loki opened his eyes to stare.
Loki didn't answer.
"I had said so before that I would return, did I not? And that you crave to see me, why is it that you are pushing me away? You need me."
"Why would you think that?" Loki cunningly countered.
"Because you need me to keep you sane."
"I am sane."
"You most definitely are not." Thor chuckles. "Look at you, do you look sane? You are bordering on insanity but you keep denying it, why not accept it?"
"Because I am fine. I am alright and I will get out. They will come for me and free me, my punishment will be done."
"Is that what you think, Loki?"
"Leave me alone." Loki growls.
"I know you Loki, look at what you're doing." Thor laughs. "Such a weakling you are, never to be appreciated, to be loved and cared for. Did you know that people only see you as you is because of me?"
Loki frowned as he violently dug his nails on his skin, biting his lips enough to draw blood.
"Why would you say that?"
"Questions, Loki! Questions! Why do you have so many?"
Loki saw Thor whip around, leaving his corner and striding forward to him, staring and humming with pleasure. It was enough to anger Loki, but he was too tired enough to react, so he stays silent. Thor hummed again, this time, much more deeper and darker.
"Is it not true that you crave the attention?"
Blood dripped on Loki's wrists onto the cold hard floor, Loki stares at the crimson color of it, reminding him of very distant memories that involved the redness, the sweet cold sensation of it.
And he couldn't help but listen.
"You are noticed because of me, you are you because you are with me."
"Shut up, I am-"
"Do you not understand that?" Thor asked. "They know you as a second, as a lesser half, a weak monster that the monsters don't even want. What more could you ever ask for? It's all here in this prison."
"Leave me alone." Loki says tiredly.
"You drive me away but you still want to listen, because you know its true."
"No." Loki convinces himself.
"You are I, and I am you." Thor grins as he taps his metal plates on the bars. "I am part of you, I came from you because you wanted someone to speak with, isn't that how it goes?"
"You're a hallucination, a figment of my imagination. You're not real and will never be real. I am Loki and will forever be Loki, everyone knows that."
The silence erupted in the room as Loki looked up to see that Thor was gone.
Loki breathed a sigh of relief and his head dropped down to his bleeding wrist, he hadn't realized that he felt...
He stares at his bleeding wrist, eying it with hunger and licking his lips but with enough strength to resist, he turns away, ripping a piece of cloth from his pants, he wraps it around the wound tightly and stares into the hallway, waiting for the guards to feed him.
He was this close to drinking his own blood.
That won't happen again, he thinks.
He will get better, this insanity will end. This punishment will end and soon, he would be treated as a prince again, he would soon be acknowledged as a prince, a hero, maybe as Thor's brother again, if they are willing.
But for now...
Time was his enemy.
Loki ate his food silently, using his two fingers gently to place the food in his mouth. Days ago one of the guards got pissed at him for disobeying orders and rebelling, that the guard took some boiling water and made Loki drink some of it.
His tongue red and burned, his lips swelled and bumps and blisters appeared. Touching it felt like sand paper being rubbed against his skin, it hurt like hell.
His throat burnt and aching.
Loki coughed up blood that day and couldn't eat anything, but he was hungry so despite the pain he felt in his mouth, he tried hard to get some food in.
At least he will heal.
Loki tries to eat, greedily at that. When the guard threatened to take the bowl of food away, Loki had growled at him, glaring and tempting the man to take it. The guard seemed content enough to leave it there till Loki finishes it and it was a victory for Loki.
Slowly, he managed to get a small portion of food in his stomach and it was good enough for him.
"Painful, isn't it."
Loki didn't even bother to look up by hearing not-Thor's voice. Day in and out, he was popping at the most unexpected times and Loki didn't even bother to care anymore.
Slowly, Loki had begun thinking that this really was Thor.
"You should fight back next time." Thor said sadly. "You don't deserve this."
"Maybe I do deserve it." Loki thinks and unexpectedly, Thor answers back.
"And you would know?"
"Your talents shouldn't go to waste."
"Still not going to leave me alone are you." Loki shoots Thor a glare which Thor shrugged off.
"You're a sad excuse of a brother if you can't even handle filthy guards." Thor insults him. "Pathetic."
By now, Loki was used to Thor's insults, it was becoming a part of their routine.
Thor would insult him and Loki would fight back but so far Thor always wins with the insults because he was in Loki's head but Loki, he was slowly forgetting that Thor wasn't real.
He now thinks that Thor is actually there!
Loki licks his lips and cringes in pain, he puts the bowl down, hiding it so he could eat it for another day.
He lies down to his side and faces Thor, his eyes closing and his body growing weaker by the day. Not wanting to fight anymore to survive, he lays there in defeat instead.
He was thinner than before, one would think he could break any second by a simple touch.
"You are like a worm waiting to be eaten by a disgusting animal." Thor scoffs as he paces around the prison cell.
Loki ignores him, closing his eyes and listening to the tapping of Thor's feet.
He could feel the burning sensation on his throat, tongue and lips but keeps his focus on healing himself. His strength was limited to just healing and keeping him alive.
"Fine, go and have your rest." Thor growls at being ignored. "You will not see me when you wake."
Loki smiles at this, knowing it was a lie.
The real Thor has been doing everything in his power to free Loki, even disobeying the Kings orders. Thor knew that it was the council who convinced Odin to lock Loki in there and continue to abuse him as they please so it would assure the rest of the Aesir that Loki would no longer be a threat.
Thor tried to make his way into the prison cell only to be fought by many of the guards in the area. He had managed to make it half way when Odin had stopped him.
Many of the guards were injured during the battle and Thor was heavily scolded but that didn't stop him from trying to visit Loki.
He asked if the warriors four could visit Loki but they were all denied access to visiting his brother for fear that they might do something irrational.
One time, Thor had ordered a group to free Loki but they barely got inside and were immediately killed by the Einherjar. They were all intrigued about why they would free Loki but all decided to think that it was just to cause chaos within the palace, they did not suspect Thor at all.
Any attempts or begging from Thor didn't work.
The council held their ground, making more rules about Loki's sentence to eternal punishment and forbidding them all.
Even with Odin's power, it wasn't enough.
Asgard comes first.
And Family comes second.
Thor did not like it.
Frigga asked if she could visit his son and Odin permitted this but he was overruled by the council yet again, forbidding them from visiting.
Odin had declared that the council mind their own business but he was threatened with the position of the throne which would result in catastrophic events, so Odin stopped.
The council had ways to manipulate the people of Asgard and so, Odin had no choice but to leave Loki be and have the council have their way with him.
As much as it breaks his heart to not hear from his son, he had hopes that he will be alright.
Of course, they had all asked how Loki fared through Heimdall's ever seeing eyes, but the gate keeper couldn't answer, for he had no idea as well.
Loki was shielded from his sight and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't see how Loki fared at all. And it was putting everyone on edge, for fear that Loki would escape or for fear that Loki would not survive whatever treatment he was being put in.
It had been months, that they could not see him that they slowly felt worried but dismissed the idea greatly but with each passing day, things were turning different.
Many more months had passed and still, no word about Loki.
The warriors four and Thor would often see Frigga and Odin fighting each other with heavy arguments and at times, the Queen would cry herself in her room, having Odin stay away from her until she calmed down.
There were also times where the All-father would literally snap from all the stress he was getting.
And Thor, he had become distant and could only think about ways of helping Loki.
So far, the family was drifting apart.
Days! Months! Years!
It had been a year and a half since they've last seen Loki since he returned from Midgard and they weren't sure anymore of his condition.
Loki had been ripped from them so fast that they weren't even able to speak with him about anything. It was too fast! Too soon! And too much!
Thor, he was almost to a point where he would destroy Asgard but for now, he just stayed in his room, thinking of more ways to try and help Loki. It had been far too long to sit so idly anymore, he had to think of something or else, he would lose Loki forever.
"Thor, what are you going to do?" Sif asked as she entered Thor's chambers followed by the warriors three.
"You've asked that many times." Thor grunts, his shoulders slumping. "I fear I may be losing all ways to answer your questions."
"We're worried for you, Thor." Fandral says. "The Queen and King haven't been themselves, and neither have you."
"Ever since Loki's return and the punishment..." Sif swallows. "Things haven't been the same."
"Especially with the council telling us what to do." Volstagg pipes in.
"They need to be stopped." Hogun says. "They have no right."
"We've done everything we can." Thor said, losing hope.
"Not everything, Thor." Sif quickly says.
"I have tried all that I could, even Mother and Father have tried! If we act up, they would take the throne from Father! If that happens they would rule us!"
"The All-father is doing everything he can to find a hole in this." Sif assures him. "Know that we are supporting you Thor. We fear that this has gone beyond the punishment Loki deserves."
"My brother is innocent." Thor says. "Not as innocent as you may all think but it was not truly all his actions! My brother was framed!"
"We know Thor, we heard from Heimdall." Fandral says.
"It was the Mad Titan." Hogun frowns.
"Things have been emotional, for all of us, after your coronation." Volstagg breathes. "We know that Loki was only trying to do what was best and we know that you would have done the same if you had the chance."
"Aye." Thor rubs at his temples.
"Loki's actions in Midgard weren't completely his." Fandral lowers his gaze.
"He was ordered to do it." Hogun whispers.
"Loki had only done what any sane man would do." Thor growls. "He had no choice. He had been broken and repaired again and again as the Titan saw fit. Loki had only stopped the torture by obeying!"
"We know Thor." Sif says softly.
"What good does it do by knowing if we cannot act upon it?"
"Heimdall said so before that he heard the Titan speaking of Loki's torture at his hands. We did not know and we were wrong to judge him so idly. But know this, we will find a way to free your brother."
"I fear we may already be too late." Thor shakes his head. "Two years too late."
"Thor..." Volstagg sadly murmurs.
"Please, leave me alone friends." Thor says. "I wish to think."
"We haven't tried one thing, Thor." Sif mentions. "We've all acted separate ways, perhaps if we do it differently-"
"Please Sif." Thor closes his eyes. "Leave me in peace."
They listened and followed.
Many more weeks had passed and by now, Loki was losing hope, he had completely forgotten everything else. He would stare blankly at the wall, he wouldn't even respond to the insults of the guards, he would rarely eat anymore or even speak.
Loki was lost.
He barely registered what was there and what was not.
He had hallucinated his biological Father, Laufey.
Now that, Loki had to admit, was an interesting conversation but the hallucinations were getting desperate just as he was.
They wouldn't leave him alone.
Loki couldn't tell what was real anymore and what was not.
It had been going on for days now where he would find himself tied up by the guards, having no memory of what happened the other day. Only to find himself bruised and in pain. The guards wouldn't say how it happened, just that he did it on his own.
He was losing it.
He couldn't remember.
And one time, he tried to remember what was happening, why and how he was turning into this. He did everything he could to try and remember yesterday or the day before, but they were all a blur and he was a mess.
Each passing day was different.
He was sleeping when he felt slightly cold, waking up with a jolt to see someone in the middle of the prison cell on an icy throne, grinning at him.
With crimson eyes and blue skin.
"My princeling." Laufey grinned.
"You're dead." Loki croaked, his voice leaving him.
"Am I really?"
"I k-killed you! I made sure of it. Y-you d-died."
"My boy, I am here to take you home." His hand reached out to Loki. "I have come for you, we wish you back to take the throne."
"W-why?" Loki's eyes pleaded, he searched for something.
"Do you not want the throne?"
"N-no." Loki says honestly. "I n-never wanted any throne."
"Don't argue with me princeling, do you wish to come with me or not? Do you wish to stay in this cell and rot for all eternity, with no legacy, no nothing, to be a common prisoner?"
"No." Loki says all too quickly.
Loki wanted to get out, he pulled himself to a stand, stumbling so fast to reach out for Laufey's hand, when he did, the hand vanished and so did the throne.
Loki looked around, confused and turned behind him to see Laufey leaning on the wall.
"I gave you a chance." He whispered and ever so desperately Loki shouted back.
"But I took your hand! I reached out!"
Loki felt his heart stop.
Those words were all too familiar to him, he tried to think where he heard it but he couldn't remember. Everything else was flashing in his mind, the pain, the heaviness, the tortures, the guilt.
"My dear sweet boy." Frigga's voice echoed in the room and Loki's head whipped to the side to see Frigga at the other side of the bars. Loki quickly ran to her, almost tripping, trying to get a hold of her hand but she moved away.
"I can't." She said.
"Mother, take him home." Loki pleaded. "I do not want to be here anymore!"
"I can't Loki." She says again. "You're a monster."
"W-what?" Loki backed away. "B-but Mother-"
"Monsters don't have homes."
Loki's heart sank even more as he clutched at his thin frame, trying so hard to ignore the pain digging its way into his heart.
"They are hallucinations." He told himself. "They're not real. Do not get affected. They are figments of your imaginations. An illusion your mind has created to turn you insane."
"You're nothing but a boy, trying to prove himself a man!"
He hears and tries to cover his ears but the words still echoed in his head, clouding his other thoughts.
"Loki this is madness!"
"No, stop please, no more." Loki muttered as he stumbled back into his corner, clutching and covering himself with the rag he used as a blanket when the night felt cold and dark.
"You brought the monster-"
"Hallucinations." Loki scrunched his eyes shut. "Illusions."
"I'm the monster that parents tell their children about at night?"
Loki lowered his head, opening his eyes to see the prison cell turn into the weapons vault, he could see Odin walking around him, whispering to his ear.
"Why do you twist my words?"
The view changes and he sees himself on top of the rock on Earth, and he saw Thor walking towards him, holding onto Mjolnir.
"Thor?" Loki asked.
"We thought you dead-"
"M-my true parentage." Loki manages to say through all the hallucinations. "Thor, you're not real."
"We were raised together, we played together, we fought together, do you remember none of that?"
"I do!" Loki shouts, covering his ears. "I do! Stop bothering me! Leave me alone! You're all here to mess with my mind!"
And it changes, he saw himself on Earth, inside the Helicarrier with all the people dying and running, screaming and shouting but he could only see himself with Thor as he pushes the button, killing his brother.
"You lie and kill-"
"Please." He begs.
No more, he's had enough.
"You pretend to have your own code, to stay separate-"
The hallucinations, the pain, the hurt, the horror, the lies.
"They will never go away!"
And Loki finds tears streaming down his cheeks, hard and heavy sobs escaped his lips, his abused body trembling, and his nails digging at the rag wrapped around him.
"No. No. No." Loki repeats over and over. "NOOOoo! Stop it!"
"Look at you."
Not-Thor appears near the corner of the cell laughing uncontrollably as Loki's eyes shot forward.
"Leave me alone!" Loki sobs shouting back. "Go away! I've had enough of you! Why can you not leave me in peace?"
"Used and abused, brother. I would have you suffer."
"You're not my brother!"
"Does it hurt? Do you feel it?"
Loki began to claw at his eyes to stop himself from crying, from showing weakness and soon, he had begun to violently thrash, kicking at the bowl of food left for him, the water was thrown, he had clawed at his hair and had shouted.
The first he had done in months.
"You think doing that would change anything!" Not-Thor shouts. "You're useless! No one will care about you!"
During his screams and shouts, the guards had come into the cell pulling Loki from the trance he was in. Loki's eyes shot open as he tried to kick and scream, still thinking it was a hallucination surrounding him, trying to take him down.
"Now look at what you've done!" Not-Thor growls.
Loki took shouts in pain as one of the guards hit him on the head, he fell to his knees but Loki fights back, drawing blood from his counter as he kicked the other guy down. What they did to him wasn't kind as they also fought back with much more strength than he had.
"You've given them reason to chain and lock you up!" Not-Thor hisses.
One of the guards got bitten as Loki dug his teeth on the his arm, the other pulled at Loki's hair and Loki let go. He quickly took a piece of cloth, wrapping it around Loki's mouth and tying it tightly to prevent Loki from screaming.
"With the little freedom you have left, you ruined everything!"
The other guard who was bitten took a chain, wrapping it around Loki's wrist, enough to make it bleed, then attaching it to the side of the wall, hanging Loki's arms as he sat on the cold floor, body limp and tired.
"That will keep you from fighting back." The guard said, leaving.
So this is how it happens.
How he gets chained like this, but why does he keep forgetting?
What was the reason for him to forget?
Loki breathes heavily as he bites at the cloth wrapping around his mouth tightly and painfully. He cringes as he stares at Thor, who was watching him tiredly and full of frustration.
"Look at you." He says. "I cannot even bear to accompany you like this."
He turns and Loki's eyes widened, he tried to beg Thor not to leave him, for he didn't know how he would fare without him. This Thor had been with him for a year now, he may not know it but this was the only one he ever talked to freely.
The one who watches him so differently.
"You don't deserve my love." Not-Thor grins.
Loki cries, his heart completely broken, his head drops as he passed out.
Accepting the darkness.
He would forget this by tomorrow and soon, Thor would be back.
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