A/N: The sequel to Best Work So Far that sat in my head for ages ^^ Felt creative yesterday and wrote it. When I checked how many words (open office) it said 499, so I just put in an extra word to get exactly 500. How cool is it that?! Without trying! But for some reason it says here the story only has 497 words (pure story) O.o I guess they count the abbreviations and/or footnotes different or something? Anyways, enjoy 498,5 words of what I hope is a great fic ^^
ps: Do not attempt to make pizza while writing fanfics. Seriously, you'll burn it.
pps: The title sucks. If you come up with something better, please do not hesitate from saying so...
„So…you done reading yet?" asked Crowley, as usual not even bothering with as much as a 'hello'.
Aziraphale raised his eyebrows a few millimeters. "Hello, Crowley, nice to see you. I'm fine, thank you. And yes, I have indeed finished that" - Aziraphale made only the slightest pause - "book you brought me."
"So what d'you think?" said Crowley grinning and in his obvious excitement did not quite manage to keep his rather thin tongue behind his lips which for a split-second betrayed his snake-like nature to the keen observer.
The angel cleared his throat before speaking. "Very well…it is…badly written. Really badly written. But" - and here he blushed - "one cannot help getting…a-ha…sucked into the story, as it were. I believe you've got something to do with it?" The demon waved his hand dismissively.
"Just a touch of The Dark, y'know how it is. Making sure it gets read through the end…Maximum annoyance potential 'n all that"
He pushed the sun glasses he always wore down a bit and eyed his supernatural companion over their rim with raised eybrows. "Nothing you shouldn't be able to resist"
"Of course!" said the angel quickly "I was just reading it to the end so I could give you my expert opinion on it. Could have stopped any time ! Which I have to say I was tempted to do quite often. After all, there is a limited amount of times one can stand reading about the heroine's love interest's perfect face "
 It should be noted that the angel's ears had turned a shade of light crimson at this moment. From Righteous Wrath At The Insinuation That He Couldn't Handle A Bit Of Demonic Influence, of course.
 It should also be noted that angels make exceptionally bad liars although due to his time spend on Earth, Aziraphale could outperform most of his angelic colleagues in this regard.
 As could most preschoolers.
 24 times to be exact. Not to mention the worship of his voice (20), skin (7) or, Crowley's personal favourite, breath (4), among others. The demon had counted them personally. It had taken him 6 weeks to figure out the exact amount necessary for a maximum of readers finishing the book and liking it (thus telling their friends about it and spreading the word) while simultaneously pissing enough people off to fuel internet memes and rants for the next two years (which was about twice the time needed for a sequel  to be written and published, just to play it safe), thus creating A Lot Of Hate which now only needed a bit of channeling in the right…er, wrong direction. Perfect.
 Apparently there would be a total of 4 books. This made it very likely there would be at least one film. It was still a few years away as the books hadn't quite hit it off yet but Crowley was already dying to pick out the actor for Edward. He almost felt sorry for the guy.