I do not own the Characters...well maybe just Gary and Dr. Ash. Oh...I own the plot too! SM is just letting my play with her Characters, for a limited time only...lol!
I had spilled my guts to Dr. Ash in therapy yesterday, telling her of the epiphany I had brought upon myself, the very same night I had left her office in a bumbling crying mess of nerves; she was extremely pleased to hear this news and told me I was that much closer to concurring my Papyrophobia.
I was ecstatic to hear this news; as was Gary, we even went out on a little shopping trip to celebrate. I treated myself to the exact outfit I was going to see Carlisle in—though we had not set ant type of date up for that yet—and maybe even the rest of the family.
My family; god it was wonderful to think those words in my head.
The navy blue chiffon strapless, Chanel empire waist, mid thigh, hugged my curves in all the right places dress was a must have; paired with the absolutely stunning pair of matte six inch black closed toed Christian Louboutin pumps. I was going to be a knock out—I could admit that to myself now, with the help of Gary, of course—I wanted to see the shocked face of Carlisle and maybe even the reset of the family.
The living room was now fully complete, so was the bathroom; I mentioned to Gary that I wanted to leave the basement for now. I was so tired of renovating the house. I gave Gary full permission to decorate Charlie's old room; now his room, how ever he liked, and he did.
I made a very good effort, when it came to working with my Papyrophobia; I was able to touch one of the pieces of paper on the table in one of my sessions for a whole two minutes, without having a complete melt down, and again it lead to another shopping spree of celebration.
I was even able to handle small paper tasks at home. I was able to pick up the mail from the mail box, along with the news paper; when my mother witnessed this for her self, when she and Phil came to visit, she cried tears of joy for a full thirty minutes.
It was a full year since the Cullen's had fled from Forks; it was almost a whole year without Edward—though I missed him more than I could ever express and loved him just as much or more—and the rest of his family. I still had a very strong anger towards Carlisle.
When I came to the realization that Edward had left me while loving me, I thought it would have caused me more pain, but it didn't; I always knew something like this was going to happen—I just didn't think it would have been so soon or the way that it had happened.
I knew from past conversations that Edward would love me for the rest of his limitless existence; I knew that if I was hurting this badly, then he was is so much more pain than I. My heart had not healed—not even close—but my heart hoped that he would give his heart to me once again. I only hoped that he would be happy to see me again...that this time he would stay with me again.
I still wanted to be a vampire—that thought had never left my mind—because I had hope everyday that one day we would cross paths again, no matter whom found who first.
My next few sessions with Dr. Ash were amazing! I was able to hold all three pieces of paper for my whole entire session. She was entirely astounded; she said she had never seen any one person, concur a phobia like I had. She expressed to me that she was a little concerned that I may fall back a few steps; but I was fully confidant in myself now.
"So Bella, how does it feel to have come this far?" Dr Ash, asked me smiling.
"I never thought, I would have come so far, so fast; once I had my little epiphany all those months ago...I just felt a little lighter." I told her. "I had told Gary that I was angry the day I left your office a blubbering mess...but I didn't know who to be mad at. So when I came to terms with who had angered me, everything else just fell into place."
"So you know who you are mad at." She stated simply. "So now what are the steps you are going to take in helping you get over this anger?"
I knew I had to be careful of my replies now, for multiple reasons; one I didn't want Alice getting any sort of idea of what was going on, and two I had a secret that must be kept exactly that...a secret. If I gave her too much information, she made her own decisions on contacting Carlisle about my condition and made him aware of my arrival.
This could not happen!
"I would like to keep that information to myself, please." I whispered. "I have my reason as to why I will not disperse any of this person's information—name or other wise."
"Why, may I ask?"
She sounded nervous as to why, I would keep this information to myself; but the cost of this information was far too high a price to pay. It was priceless information to me. I was fiercely loyal to those who deserved my loyalty, trust and respect. So I gave her the only answer I could think of, without divulging too much other information. "Because loyalty is something that can not be bought; only earned, and for as angry as I am at this person...my loyalties still lie with this person." I told her bluntly; I hoped I wasn't confusing her with all of this 'persons' talk—if I wasn't careful...I may end up confusing myself.
"I can respect that," She sighed defeated. "I wanted to let you know that I am cutting your sessions down to once every two weeks now, you are doing so much better Isabella."
It was like music to my ears; I left her office ready to face the world and a one Dr. Carlisle Cullen.
A/N: So were getting closer to the Cullen's now! Are you excited as I am? I can't stop writing, I am so excited! What do you think of Bella's killer outfit? When did she get the balance to walk in heels? Why is she not tripping over herself, you ask?
You will find out a lot faster if you press that little button below and review!