The warm reminiscent touch of a caring mother embraced Castiel as he awoke from a pleasant dream, an unusual occurrence for the young boy. The dead weight feeling on his legs and the abrupt snoring revealed most likely answer for quite a warm dream: Dean Winchester.
Castiel propped himself up from his lying position, his wig becoming askew as he did so. Coming into his vision now was the source of the pig like snoring and the slight dampness of the blanket as saliva pooled out of his mouth, Cas couldn't quite help but let out a giggle of the view of Dean's sleeping style.
He found it...cute?
Castiel blushed at the thought, to find Dean cute would be to have feelings for him, something that Castiel hadn't quite come to terms with yet. Rustling of the blanket brought Cas out of his thoughts and a rush of panic went through him with realisation that his "girl look" was a mess from sleep. As Dean slowly blinked his eyes open, Castiel pretended to play with his hair with in actuality he was fixing his wig. Then by the time Dean had completely understood the difference between reality and his dreamland Castiel had himself somewhat decent looking with his previous panic hidden behind a small smile.
"Good Morning sleepy head" Castiel blurted out with attempts to keep himself calm yet again, only moments ago he was a mess and blushing over Dean's, quite frankly, ugly snoring and dribble.
Dean, however, didn't take notice of the rushed speech still slightly dazed from his accidental nap. Letting out a raspy chuckle and a glance at the window, Dean spoke with a voice heavy with sleep, "It's still night, sweetheart" followed with a wide grin.
"And I thought I was the one taking a rest? How did you even end up in here" Castiel responded quite knowing to Dean's teasing, but oblivious to the pet name given. Dean only responded with a smirk and a wink making Castiel's face heat up unwillingly. Even if Cas' mind had yet to fully understand his feelings his body knew exactly and reacted just as so.
Dean's features softened into a loving smile and he became aware of his initial intention prior to coming into the bedroom uninvited and falling asleep at the end of Cas' double bed. "Hey Cas?" Cas' eyes flickered back to attention, "I..." Dean faulted for a second, something he never did in front of girls normally quite intent of keeping is flirtatious demeanour, proving to him that Castiel was, just as he believed, very different to other girls.
Dean was snapped back, his face, again unusual, heating up into a deep blush. "I'm sorry, I just...you know?" an awkward laugh was then released as Dean rubbed the back of his neck prior to then sitting himself up straight, "Castiel, can I ask you something? And I mean something serious."
Castiel's brows furrowed. Confused and surprised by Dean's sudden uncharacteristic seriousness Cas hesitantly responded, "Yes?"
Dean took in a deep breath, as if someway it gave him extra strength in the words he spoke and even though he knew it didn't at least it gave him comfort, finally he spoke. "Well, we've now gone on a number of dates" Dean's gaze went from the covers of the bed to Cas' face, curious to her reaction, noticing the deepens blush on her face, "By dates, I mean you know" he raised his eyebrow, much so in a questioning way of how Cas would word it, as if testing to see if Cas truly felt the same way. Taking confirmation with the slow, but hesitant, nod. "What I want to ask is, well what I mean...I, I like you, Castiel, will you go out with me?" The question came out in a word vomit, forcing the words to fall out of his mouth, the way he asked was uncharacteristic of him, completely and utterly "uncool" of him.
However, Castiel still heard every word clearly, as if the world had slowed down time only for him and then continued to repeat the words: dates, like and go out. The world spun. Castiel's thoughts were a mess, even though aware the question was gonna be asked, he was unprepared to how to respond. Knowing to the desperate look the male in front of him was directing his way Castiel attempted to gather his thoughts, how would be the best way to respond? So many factors went into his decisions, to say yes would mean the inevitable truth to be revealed, to face the issue of his previous abuse and to face the most likely rejection of someone Cas had finally began to have true feelings of romantic love. But to say no would mean to hide his problems for longer, but that would mean to hurt and still possibly lose the one he liked. The correct answer felt burning, it tore at his skin, though he desired to continue to hide in fear, to lock away his past, he truly knew what was best to do.
"Dean...I like you too but...", Cas studied Dean's face to notice the feelings of anticipation, then happiness, then confusion and fear, "I want to go out with you but..." every word was strangled, as if his throat was slowly closing up as he spoke, "I've been hiding from you the truth, in actuality, it's just...well...I'm sorry..." The words became harder and harder to speak as tears began to flow out and Cas' trembling hand took grasp of his wig, slowly pulling it off. "I'm not the girl you like, I'm...I-I'm not a g-girl..." tears now completely blurred his vision, now unable to study the reaction of Dean, though Cas was sure it was something of disgust. "I really do like you" the confession was spoken so quickly, so shakily, in somewhat of a tremble as fear and now completely taken the reins. Cas, in a selfish act, grasped the shoulders of the shocked teen and planted his lips on to the others in a messy and quick peck before pulling away and before Dean ever have the opportunity to say a word Cas was gone.
Yes or No, wasn't an option for Cas, rather the option was to continue to allow fear to control his life.
Honestly this was me being extremely bored and finding it would be absolutly hilarious to update this fic, honestly I don't write anymore at least not for fun and I also stopped watching spn for nearly 2 years and just started catching up again. This was incredibly badly written cause I wrote it in a hour and it 2:30am lol. Whatever whatever if this is something that you wanted enjoy I can also finish this in a chapter as what was planned originally was a time skip after this anyways so I don't mind. Something to fill up my time before uni starts, anyway this authors note is longer then the story lol bye bye, fish it out! Or amby-rose as I called myself.