For 'The Legend of Derpy's' Music Inspired Fic challenge.

"For the last time, Brad, NO! It was already, like, bad enough when you went out with Melissa, but then you were all like, 'I'm so sorry babe please take me back,' and I decide to let you and then you break up with me again, and now... WE'RE NEVER GETTING BACK TOGETHER, YOU JERK! You're just like, screwing with my heart and I'm frikkin' sick of it!" Lumpy Space Princess rambled on to her ex-boyfriend, who'd called her while she was staying at her forest home. Tears streamed down her face. How could he do this to her? What sort of boy messes with someone like that?

On his end of the line, Brad just sighed. He felt a little heavier, and this was due to the fact that he stopped floating around age 13 due to the weight of emotional baggage weighing him down. He rolled his eyes. "Listen, LSP-"

"NO! You CANNOT call me that anymore! That is reserved for my real friends, unlike YOU, Brad!" She cut him off, yelling. On her end, several squirrels, raccons, etc ran off from the clearing, frightened by the yelling.

Brad almost smirked. "What happened to 'I'm ready for you, Brad'?" The line went silent for about three seconds. Then, "OH MY GLOB HOW DID YOU KNOW I EVEN SAID THAT YOU JERK, I CAN'T BELIEVE I WAS EVER, LIKE, READY FOR YOU TO KISS ME, YOU...YOU...PLAYER!" Brad gained about four ounces in baggage at that moment.

He felt guilty, but couldn't resist..."Please, Babe, I hear everything." Truth was he'd hired a wizard to tail her wherever she went a couple monthes ago out of extreme paranoia. One of his quirks. His calm and assured voice almost broke LSP.

"GRAGHH! How can you even think of being so okay? Did I mean any frikkin' thing to you, you...DIRTBAG!" And she slammed the cell phone shut. She wiped off her tears, and sniffed. She was going to have to be tougher. She couldn't let jerks hurt her like this, she needed to grow up.

Brad sighed. He needed to try harder at relationships, fact of the matter was he'd always treated it as a side thing. A game, of sorts. He'd get LSP back, and he'd keep it that way. Just you watch.