I pushed the door and entered in the waiting room. I slowly approached the receptionist, a gentle woman. She roses her head and smile. The same false smile I hate and that everybody in this hospital give me every day. A smile that said that I'm just a little kid who can understand what happen with my sister. "You come to visit your sister?"
For who that is not my sister I can come here every day? Tabane-san and Houki are right so there is nobody except my sister, especially in this place. "Yes."
She nodded then looked at her folder. "She is still in the same room. You can go there, her doctor will come after 1 p.m."
I nodded and got away towards nee-sama's room. Everybody I saw by walking smiled to me. They all know me, now. It's normal, after all, I came here every day. Walking, I heard sobs. My heart hurt a bit then I ignore the sobs, and I continue to walk.
Surely that someone died. That happened every day, since I come here.
This place is a clinic for people who will die soon. Since 1 years, I came here because of my sister. She has a unknown malady and her first doctor, Mr. Pillias, said that is a miracle that she is yet alive. Dr. Pillias is really kind with me and he knows that I can understand what happen to my big sister, contrary to other people. It's maybe for that I only smile to me, when I see him.
She has 2 doctors. The first, Dr. Pillias, came back to his family, in Spain, at a city named Cartagena. He has some problem with his family and he will come back after Christmas.
So, now, she has another doctor, Dr. Theo. He is kind but he isn't like Dr. Pillias, so I don't smile to him.
One of the reasons why I prefer Dr. Pillias is because of that; Everybody, when they believed I didn't hear, said that she will die sooner. Some months after Chifuyu-nee entered in this clinic, I heard that. I went in my home to cry, because I didn,t want that nee-sama sees my tears.
After some hours, it's him who came there and said that my sister wants to see me, but in the same time, he explained me what happened to Nee-sama. I don't know how he understood what was my problem or where I was.
Anyway, he is an excellent doctor and one of some people I trust to pay attention of my sister's sake.
"Ouch!" I hold my head on pain. Heck! Why I always need to knock her door with my head each time I came here, because I didn't pay attention?
Well, at least, I'm not lost in the clinic. For one time, I directly arrived ahead of her door. I knock but nobody answer so I entered noiselessly in this room. I sat down on a chair next to her bed and looked at her. Even in this bed, she is so beautiful with her black long hair, pale skin and her face so peaceful.
Now, I'm sure that it's impossible that the doctor is right and that nee-san will die. It's impossible that her strange malady will win against nee-san, even if it fills her lungs with water and that it makes her cough up blood. Totally impossible... isn't? After all, nee-sama is the most powerful person I know.
She moved a bit her head then opened a little bit her brown eyes. Her dark eyes I love so much. "Ichika?"
She slowly smiled. 'How she can smile now?' I opened then closed my mouth. How to say everything with not to have many times? How?
"I will die, right?"
I feel my blood started to bubble. I gnawed on my teeth, tried to calm me down like nee-sama taugh me then said: "Why do you accept that?!"
She only smiled with the smile that always said I'm at home. "Everybody dies one day... It's like that and nobody can change that."
I lowered my head and said nothing more. My sister is the most powerful person I know and I'm sure nobody can be more stronger than her. There is only one reason she may to get away from me.
"Do you want to be alone? Did I do something bad...?" I murmured.
The silence after that was really heavy and painful. Before, the silence between us was happy and comfortable when we were in our home, or when we were just together ... our home... I saw few memories flash by before I repulsed them away far in my mind. No need to think to that. I don't need those memories.
Then something really violent and painful got me away from these dark thoughts.
"OOOWWW!" I yelled, as I held my head in pain.
"You're really a baka." Nee-sama said softly. I stopped, held my head and looked at my sister, tears in my eyes. She slowly placed her hands on my head and said with sweetness: "I love you, baka. It doesn't matter if I will die or not, I want to stay with you and see you smile."
I don't know why, but I believe my heart broke when I heard this sentence.
"You're strong, Ichika. Very strong. You can live without me and-"
"NO! DON'T SAY SUCH SAD THINGS!" I shouted, sobbing.
She placed her burning fingers on my mouth and continued her sentence: "You can live without me, yes Ichika, you can, you must. Just promise me something." I lowered my head, still crying. Nee-sama isn't angry and hit me because I cried, and she said such sad things... Kami-sama, are you that evil to take me away my only family? To take her life away?
"Ichika?" I raised my head to see Nee-sama's face. My vision blurred as a new round of tears came. The words I said after I saw her face went out from my mouth without my permission. "Anything you want."
She lost her smile at that and looked at me with her normal face, the one that is cold and that sees me everyday, except when she was really happy, before the day I understood nee-sama was sick.
She slowly placed her hand on my cheeks and said: "Promise me that you'll forever be yourself, never forget who you are and-"
Blood poured out of her mouth and her eyes, her stern yet kind and strong brown eyes. "No, not now nee-sama! Please!" I sobbed, and stood up.
I ran towards the door and yelled as loud as it was possible for me.
Some people ran in here and a person pushed me outside from the Nee-san's room.
I heard some people cried and then the silence. The cruel, heartbreaking silence. There wasn't even one cough to reassure me.
The door opened. One person came out from the room and approached me. I recognized him - he is the doctor of Nee-sama that the less.
He slowly sat down on his knees in front of me, and placed his hands on my shoulders. After, he started by saying I needed to be strong and then he explain what happened, even if I already understood.
Chifuyu Orimura is dead.
I saw her eyes before someone pushed me away from her room. My tears worsened. Her eyes were blank, pale, without life and the flame that is normally in them.
I lost the last person of my family, the first people I could call family, without I can do nothing or I can say nothing.
Anyway, I can do nothing without her, she was the person that allowed me to live.
Nobody dared to look at me or approach me. They surely think that I'm too cold because I had not cried. I lowered my head and smiled a incomprehendable smile. They are really are misunderstanding me...
It's only two hours since nee-sama..that nee-sama..my only nee-sama...died. I don't envy her to come back to our home... In fact, it's my home now. I can't understand how that happened... how that started and ended. I did not arrive to understand or even to realise what happen... Too much things happened. And Dr. Pillias wasn't even here.
Oh, somebody decides to approach me... I raised my head to see the man who spoke. He has short blue hair, dark red eyes and he wears a tuxedo, he seems totally came from another world.
"What do you want?" I asked. It's the only thing I can say to him.
He sat down next to me and he says nothing more. At least, this man doesn't have a hypocritical smile or he doesn't say: "I'm sorry." and all that. I can't understand why people say that, because they didn't kill my sister or bring her alive. I can understand that it's a subject that people avoid, but even like that... death is death.
"My name is Sarashiki Tatenashi." The mysterious man finally spoke.
I don't know who is he and I don't want to know. Why he can't just get away from me like all the others?
"I know your parents, a long time ago... you look like your father, but you have the eyes of your mother..." He trails off. I flinch. My parents... the people that abandoned me and Nee-sama. Nee-san already said that I look like the man the other people call my father with my black hair with blue shades, my tanned skin, and I have the red eyes of my mother. I never saw them or a picture of them but Nee-san said that so it must be true.
"It's an insult for me, mister, even if it's the truth." I murmured, gripping my hands tightly.
He continued to look at me, till he rose and did a bow. "I'm sorry to hear that."
I just looked at the paint next to me and I continue to ignore him. I never saw that paint before. It shows a lack with meadow around it. Surely a family who offered this to the clinic. Often, family's patient give something because the service here is really good. One of the better in Tokyo.
However, I will never do that. Those smiles I saw every day until today were enough to disgust me of the clinic, hospital and other thing like that. People here did that without malice but... I feel like it isn't right to do this.
The silence between us was really uncomfortable but he seemed not touched by this when I turned my eyes towards him before it came back to the paint. "Ichika-kun, I'm your new family."
I looked at him, without understand what he said. He can't... It's impossible.. nobody... why? how?
"If you accept of course... But I heard that you had only a sister and that's it, so you can understand why I ask you. I know you are an intelligent little kid." He continued.
I opened and closed my mouth. A friend of my parents? He really wants to become my new family? But what this 'become my new family' mean? He wants.. to substitute my sister? But nobody can substitute my sister, right? Right? Nee-sama is...was everything for me.
Everything happened too fast...
I feel really tired suddenly.
I didn't think of what will happen if Nee-sama died. And now that she is dead, I don't know what to do. Now that I think about this, surely I will be sent to an orphanage or in a foster family.
What should I do?
I'm just 7 years old, a boy without familt, so why do I need to decide on this hard choice? Why me? Why my sister? Why can't this 'fate' thing that people call it fall on another boy?
"I will be occupy with the ceremony for your sister. You will answer to me after her funeral." The man demanded.
My eyes stung at those words. Her...funeral. Another thing I never thought about. I was so sure she will survive and then we will stay together forever.
At that moment, I didn't know that though was the biggest and worst lie of my life that I made to myself.
I'm in front of her grave, wearing the tuxedo Sarashiki-san gave me. The ceremony ended and everybody left, left me alone. All these people tried to talk with me, but I just ignored them, so they left. They didn't understand that I disliked them, they, who came with their pity and their false tears. Not one of them really knew my sister or even tried to know and understand her.
They didn't understand why I didn't cry. Why do I need to cry? Why do I need to show them my sadness? Why do they need to be sure I loved my sister? I can't understand these adults that are waiting to hear my tears and my screams.
Why Tabane-san and Houki or obaa-chan couldn't come? The only people that came is I and people that maybe know Chifuyu-ne. Why do the people I trusted aren't here?
I didn't see them since 2 days, since nee-sama... after I talked with Sarashiki-san, I came back to my home. That day and the second and today, I didn't come to the school. My school called sometimes but I didn't respond. I was too tired. This home is filled with memories with her and each noise I heard, I thought it was her.
The first night, I even woke up and think that day was a nightmare so I went to her room to be sure it was just that. I rest in her bed all the night while shivering in my whole body.
The second night, I didn't sleep, I searched on info of Sarashiki Tatenashi.
I used the whole night and there are informations on him I still don't know.
I saw some infos very interesting, like he is the head of his clan, the clan Sarashiki.
He is very well known to be the hardest man to beat in business.
Also, his clan is very well known to be the clan who provides weapons and the best tacticians to the government. He is himself known as a excellent tactician and he went to the war in Afghanistan, some years ago.
I slowly approached the grave and put the a bunch of flowers on it. These flowers are white orchids, the flower she loved the most. Loved... I already started to talk in the past, however it's just 2 days she died.
Now that I think to her, she didn't act like it, that day. maybe that was because she accepted her death..
'Why are my thoughts always returning to her and her death?' I asked silently.
Sarashiki-san went to that ceremony very well. He must be pressed, but it's normal, he is a businessman .
Someone approached me and put his hand on my shoulders. "I will go now, Ichika-kun. What is your answer?"
I raised my head to see the man who said that he will be my new family and the only person that had the decency to not come here with tears in his eyes, as he knew my Nee-sama.
He doesn't go unnoticed in a group of Japanese, with his blue hair, his red eyes and his tall body. But I don't think that annoyed him, after all, Hokuto Sarashiki loves how everybody pays attention to him, but it's normal, he is a businessman and a well known man in the world.
Then again, he is an old friend of my family... I don't know why I must be happy or unhappy that he came here and offered me to go with him in his world. The world Nee-sama tried to keep me away from.
When I think of what Nee-san tried to do... she died and it's me who needs to make a decision. I sighed, my decision was already to take his proposition and he knows that.
"Where shall we go?" I asked after moments of silence.
He smiled then returned towards the exit of the cemetery. "You'll see..." He said.
After this mysterious sentence, he started to walk forwards without waiting for me.
Really, this man... but I ignored him and returned to her grave and reread it.
Rest In Peace:
February 28, 2001- October 18, 2017
The first tears I cried since a very long time started to flow. "Nee-sama... I will not forget you and what you said." I whispered.
Yo. This chapter it's just an essay. If you want it continue after read it, you must write a review.
And yeah, I just killed Orimura Chifuyu!(grin)
Also, yes, the image is a picture of Ciel Phantomhive, Black Butler. I think he is really cute and in my mind, young Ichika seems a bit to him. =)
Thank you to TheWinterPrayerOfTheMoon, my beta reader!