Disclaimer: Jake Muller does not belong to me, he belongs to Sherry Birkin, and i'm okay with that. But unfortunately, Resident Evil doesn't belong to me either.
Note: You should really listen to Coldplay's Fix You near the middle :))
In the short few months since Jake moved to America, he found out several interesting things about Sherry Birkin.
The first time he crashed in her place, he discovered that Sherry liked sleeping fully clothed. She didn't wear jewelries or other accessories to bed but her concept of sleeping attire is a long-sleeved top and jogging pants. He found it strange at first, because he himself goes to bed in his boxers and sleeveless shirt, and he kind of expected her to be the type that wears short shorts and a tiny top to bed.
"You remember how we were dressed back in China?" she told him when he had asked, "It was a little similar to what I used to wear all the time during my… stay under the government's custody though less revealing. I guess because of that, wearing supposedly comfortable clothes make me feel like I'm in line for another experiment. Longer clothes, they give me a feel of security when I sleep, like no one would be able to touch me. It somehow keeps the nightmares at bay."
He apologized for bringing up another bad memory with his question, but just like in that cabin, she smiled at him gently and said it was okay.
Sherry also hated hospitals with a passion. She always tried to hide it though, but her stiff body and ever shifting gaze gave her unease away. When they went to visit one of Redfield's friends in the hospital—Rebecca something—he could easily tell how she would watch every white clothed personnel in the area and stand in a way that she'd be able to protect herself in a moment's notice if needed be.
He didn't really have to ask, but she told him either way when she noticed him looking at her with concern.
"I hate hospitals, the white walls, the disinfectant in the air, and how everything's too clean," she mumbled as they walked, her voice low enough so that no one else would hear, "It reminds me of when I was still under government's custody. I couldn't stand being in hospitals at first. I'm getting better now though. I no longer point a gun on anyone who tries to approach me." She joked with a forced smile while he frowned.
He hated what those people had done to her, and he hated how strong she tries to be even when she knew she has him to rely on.
"Has she always been like that?" he found himself sitting in the younger Redfield's office in TerraSave. The redhead was the closest person to Sherry and he knew she was the only one who could and would answer his trivial questions.
"Like what?" she asked, her full attention on him even with the huge stack of paperwork on her desk.
"Independent…" he felt himself staring off into space as he recalled all the times Sherry proudly showed him what she was capable of. "Like she always wants to prove that she doesn't need anyone else to rely on."
"I wouldn't put it like that, Jake. She does ask for help when she needs it. She just wants to show that she can take care of herself, that she's no longer that helpless little girl I met in Raccoon." There was a proud smile making its way into her features as she reminisced. "I kinda disagree with that mindset of hers though. Even back then, she has taken care of herself very well."
He smiled softly, making her wonder whether the mercenary noticed his own action, "Yeah?"
"You should've seen her. She was so brave."
A piercing scream woke Jake up with a start. Normally, it would take him a few seconds to gather his wits but the urgency of hearing the most important girl in his life yell as if she was in pain jolted his mind awake. In a mere second, he recalled he slept over at Sherry's apartment, taking the couch, that the girl in question was in her room, and that she needed him right now.
As fast as his legs could carry him, he ran to the source of her scream, slamming the door open only to see her trashing around her bed. His panicked mind didn't even comprehend her painful yells as he ran to her in an attempt to wake her.
He held her thrashing arms firmly and brought them to his chest with one hand to prevent her from hurting herself as the other settled on her cheek, caressing it gently.
Her cheek was wet, and he desperately tried to soothe her, calling her name softly, "Sherry, wake up. Sherry, c'mon, it's just a dream. Wake up, Supergirl."
After one of the longest moments in Jake's life, Sherry finally opened her eyes, breathing heavily as she began to comprehend her surroundings. "Jake?"
It hurt him to hear her voice so scared and vulnerable, "I'm here." He replied softly.
A second later, Sherry threw her arms around his neck, embracing him tightly like he was her lifeline as she sobbed on his shoulder.
Jake wasn't sure how to comfort her, so he returned her embrace, rubbing soothing circles on her back, "Shh… I'm here, Sherry. I'm here…"
When her sobs subsided somewhat, he heard her say, "You died."
He was slightly startled by her statement, "What?"
"I dreamed that you died," her voice trembled with each word she spoke, "That my dad killed you." Her embrace tightened, "I—I couldn't save you…"
"I'm here, Sherry. I'm alive and kicking," he murmured, running his fingers through her short hair, "Besides, I don't blame your parents about wanting me dead, being such a bad influence to their only daughter. But you should know they can't get rid of me that easily. I beat the Ustanak bare-handed, Supergirl."
His attempt at making a joke failed miserably when Sherry pulled away from him just enough for him to see her frightened face, "You died protecting me…"
He wanted to retort and say, "Then it was worth it," but decided that wasn't what she needed right now. And so, he let her continue.
"He mutated, just like in Raccoon," she started, avoiding his gaze, "He wanted to implant me with the embryo again so I ran… then I saw you and, and y-you tried to protect me and..." she wasn't able to finish. Jake could only pull her back in his arms.
They simply sat on her bed for a long while, never letting go. Jake didn't know how to comfort her, so he did the only thing he could. He held her and offered his silent support.
Soon, Sherry's sobs subsided, leaving her with red eyes but a calm breath. Seeing that she finally stopped crying, Jake hesitantly asked, "You gonna be okay?"
He felt her nod against his chest. "This is the first time I wasn't alone." She mumbled silently, "Usually, I deal with this by myself… but you're here so I think I'm gonna be better than okay."
"I'm glad I'm here then," he replied just as softly. But then, he realized what she had just said, "Wait, usually?"
She breathed in deeply, "I only dream of my dad once a year."
"Every year… today?"
Another nod, "It's September 29."
"…did she know it was her father chasing her back then?" Jake asked Claire hesitantly after a long moment of silence.
She didn't reply immediately, contemplating, "Yes, she did."
He let out a breath, not really knowing what to say next.
Claire watched him as he struggled, "She's a smart girl, Jake. You and I both know that."
"Should that make me feel better knowing of the hell she went through? Surviving the start of apocalypse is one thing but knowing it was her own father that wanted to—to…" '…impregnate her? Use her as a damn breeding host?' "Fuck, I can't even say it." He ran his hand down his face in anger.
"She's been through a lot of horrible things as a child, things that an adult may not be able to handle," Claire agreed somberly, though there was no pity in her voice, "But what matters isn't the things she went through, what matters now is that she did. She's strong."
"I've been complaining about my whole life and it's not even half as bad as hers," he mumbled, scoffing to himself as he continued, "All I lost was a fancy childhood and my mom, but compared to her… she lost everything… all at once on that single night." Claire kept silent when he paused, "And yet she still grew up to be a kind person while I ended up as shit."
Claire neither agreed nor disagreed, instead, she said, "There are three possible ways on how a child with your experiences will grow up to be. The first one is like your father, mad and uncompassionate to everything, his life driven by the anger in his heart because he wants everyone else to suffer like he did."
He merely glanced at her as he let her continue, "The second is like Sherry. Because she knew of the pain firsthand, she became determined to never let anyone else suffer the same fate. That's why she fights.
"And then there's you, Jake," she offered him a soft smile as he listened, "You're mad at the world so you didn't care. You didn't want to care because you knew it would hurt you more, so you locked yourself in." her words pierced him like a knife and he looked away, making him remember the nights he had spent alone in the cold. "People like you, they need someone who would show them that caring didn't have to hurt," he glanced at her at the tone of her voice, his eyes softening in understanding, "That they're not alone."
The thought of Sherry brought a small smile to his face, "It was her."
Claire nodded, "It can also be you, Jake." His eyes were back in her, "You needed her and now she needs you too. More than anything,"
"What if I can't be what she needs?"
She just stared at him for a long while, contemplating. She tried to understand where his unusual words were coming from. He was a mercenary and uncertainty was something he should never have if he wanted to survive. Why then was he so unsure of himself now?
Finally, she shook her head at herself, realizing how stupid she was for not noticing earlier. Or maybe she did, but she refused to acknowledge the fact while she was unsure of the mercenary herself. But now, this much she was certain, "You care about her." And they both knew that her statement was too weak to describe how he feels for the girl that she had saved and had saved him.
He should've snorted at her words. He would have if it wasn't Sherry they were talking about, because in his mind, Sherry's part of that category of people that only his mom belonged to.
When Claire was certain Jake wasn't going to answer, she asked, "What will you do about it?"
"The very reason why you're here right now," she answered, keeping her gaze locked on him while he evaded. If there was one thing about himself Jake Muller would ever be uncertain of, it would be his worthiness to Sherry Birkin, Claire knew. But she also knew that he would do absolutely anything for the girl he had claimed to be his savior.
"You said that she saved you," finally, his eyes met hers, giving him a reassuring smile, "Won't you try and save her too?"
Jake was eternally grateful to Claire. The redhead had been the one to encourage him to pursue Sherry and because of it, he was able to gather enough balls to actually ask the girl out. If it wasn't for her, he wouldn't be walking hand in hand with Sherry as they headed back to the blonde girl's apartment, four months after his and Claire's conversation.
He and Sherry took their relationship slow, partly because they were both new to things like this. Jake had always looked down on the concept of love after seeing what it did to his mother. He'd had been with other women, doing activities that should've given him more than just pleasure and done more than just fulfill his lusty needs, but romance? Wooing a girl for reasons that did not primarily include sex? (He'd love to do it with her, really, but he wanted to show her that it was more than that with her.) It was just something he'd never considered doing before meeting her.
So for the four months they'd been together, he'd been resisting the urges he would feel, uncertain and afraid on how she would react if he made the first move. That was why their first kisses—on the cheek and a peck on the lips—were both initiated by Sherry after noticing his hesitance. He'd made a comment about it, complaining about the fact the she kept kissing him first, into which she answered with a smile, "Because you're being too cautious and I know you're doing it for me."
It was then that he had become bolder with his actions, though he still kept himself in check. He silently reveled at how they were now as Sherry tried to unlock the door to her apartment. He was no longer hesitant to touch her, no longer afraid that he'd do something she didn't like or touch her at the wrong place that she'd suddenly push him away.
He brought his arms to encircle her petite waist as he continued to entertain the thought. He pulled her closer, pressing her back to his chest as he began to plant kisses along her exposed neck. He had told her earlier that he loved the dress she was wearing, though not as much as the fact that she had been the one wearing it.
"You're distracting me, Jake," Sherry told him playfully as she seemed to fumble more with the multiple locks of her apartment.
He merely hummed in reply and continued with his ministrations until she unlocked the door.
Maybe he should've been more cautious, but when he claimed her lips as he pushed the two of them into her apartment, his self-control almost snapped when she responded to him, nibbling on his lower lip as she held onto him.
Maybe he should've known, especially since all their kisses had been closed mouth and how she had always seemed to hold back when they did, but the passion he had been keeping suppressed inside him exploded when his hand touched the soft skin of her hip from under her dress as he pressed her flushed against her door.
His tongue grazed her lip, and there was a small intake of breath on her part. Thinking it was a good sign, he continued coaxing her to open her mouth as he dominated her very being.
Through the haze of passion, he failed to notice how she suddenly stiffened, how the hands that were holding onto him began shaking. And when he successfully pried her mouth open and searched for her own tongue, it was only then did he realize his mistake after she abruptly pushed him away and told him to stop.
Startled, he stumbled back a few steps. Hurt and confused, he glanced at her to see her hugging herself, trembling and her face contorted with an expression of fear.
The knowledge that she was afraid of him pained him more than her pushing him away.
Tentatively, as to not scare her more, he took a step toward her, "Sherry?" the softness of his voice didn't seem to be enough when he saw her flinch at the sound.
Her ragged breaths filled the silence, "I-I—"
"Shit," he cursed himself, loathing whatever mistake he had done to scare her like this, "I was going too fast, wasn't I? Jesus, I'm sorry—"
"It's not your fault," her voice still quivered but she was able to prevent herself from stuttering again, "I just—I need to be alone right now."
She pushed herself from the door, heading towards her bedroom. For a moment, he didn't move, not comprehending her rejection quickly. But when the smell of her reached his nose as she walked past him, his senses came back, and he followed her, grabbing her arm gently as he tried to stop her. "Wait, Sherry, please," his voice was desperate as he turned her around to face him but she avoided his gaze. He wanted to hold her hands but they were still clutching her elbow in an attempt to hug her self. "I'm really sorry, okay? I know I did something wrong and I promise it won't happen again just—"
"You did nothing wrong,"
"I must've fucked something up!" he harshly whispered, frustrated with himself, "You're afraid of me so there must be something that's wrong with me."
"It's not you, Jake," her voice was soft and she finally met his gaze with pleading eyes. She took his hand, the one that was holding her arm, and cradled it carefully between hers, "Please, don't ever think that it's you." She pressed their hands to her chest and closed her eyes, almost as if she was praying, "There's nothing wrong with you. It's me and I—I just…" her grip tightened one last time, "Please, just leave me alone for now."
They met gazes again. It was strange, he thought, how similar their pleading eyes probably looked right now but having such different aims: to let him stay and to let her be.
Apparently, he didn't have a choice, because after a long moment she let his hand go and entered her bedroom, closing the door with a soft click. He clenched his fist, already missing the warmth her hand offered. He was supposed to stay for the night but after what had transpired, he didn't know what else to do but to follow her wishes.
"I just don't know what happened," he told Claire, running a hand down his face as he sat on the redhead's couch. It was late, and he was probably intruding, but he really didn't know who else to go to.
There was nothing she could say. She didn't understand the situation either. "Do you believe what she said though?" she asked, seated on the loveseat in front of the mercenary. "That it wasn't your fault?"
"Shouldn't you?" she retorted back. Jake looked away, not knowing how to respond to that. "You're not the only one that makes mistakes, Jake. Sherry told you that so you'd know. We're all messed up, one way or another."
"But I should've controlled myself," Jake insisted, "I should've watched my actions… I should've thought about her!"
Claire could see how mad he was with himself. She paused, letting his temper lessen somewhat. "You were."
He scoffed mockingly, shaking his head, "Not enough."
"No one's perfect, Jake," she told him. He was suddenly reminded of the time Sherry had said the same thing. "That includes Sherry."
Maybe he thought it was his fault not because he thought so low of himself. Maybe it was because being mad at himself was a lot easier than acknowledging the fact that Sherry was blaming herself.
"Do you trust her?" Claire once again cut through his thoughts. He could only look back at her, and the silence was answer enough for the redhead. She smiled reassuringly at the younger man, "Ask her then. Have faith that she also trusts you enough to be honest."
The following night, Jake was able to talk to Sherry. It was tense at first, neither of them really knowing what to say. They just sat on her couch, both of them on each ends of the furniture, looking away from each other. He was sitting casually, feigning a comfort he couldn't find while she sat with her knees hugged to her chest making him feel as if she was uneasy in his presence.
After a long silence, he was first to speak, apologizing once again about what he did. She merely shook her head at him, telling him again that he did nothing wrong. It was then that he hesitantly asked her to explain what had happened.
"When I was… implanted… back in Raccoon City, there was something I didn't tell Claire," she started off tentatively, avoiding his gaze, "She thought I was unconscious when my father found me… I told her I was but I wasn't." He squeezed his fists as he listened, trying to prevent himself from punching a random object in anger of hearing the horrible things she had gone through. He kept his gaze on the floor but from the corner of his eye, he noticed her glance at him, as if gauging his reaction. With a deep breath, she looked away and said, "I was half-awake and… I could feel the whole thing."
There was a slight tremble in her voice that overwhelmed all the anger in his body and replaced it with worry for her. In a snap, he crossed the distance between them and took her in his arms as she began to heave. She was trying very hard not to cry.
"I'm s-sorry," she whimpered, clinging onto him, "I-I know I shouldn't f-feel this way but," she took several deep breaths before continuing, "I thought it was happening again… even though I knew it was you… even though you would never hurt me—"
He gently shushed her, running his hand through her short hair comfortingly. He told her it was okay, that he understood, but she only shook her head, sobbing as she told him sorry over and over again.
He wanted to say he should be the one apologizing, but it wasn't what she needed right now so he chose to keep quiet. In the midst of the sounds of her tears, he resisted the urge to ask her what exactly had happened so he would know how he could make her fears go away.
"That's something I can't really answer, Jake."
Jake slammed his hand onto her desk, "But I'm worried about her." He told Claire, almost pleading, "I don't want to bring bad memories back. I even asked Mr. Hero but he said you were with her most of the time."
"It's not that I don't want to tell you, but Sherry has never told me about it either." She really was apologetic. He knew she was worried about the blonde too. "I tried to make her talk several times but she's traumatized."
A frustrated growl escaped his mouth as he started pacing around her office, "How do you implant an embryo anyway? It's not like a BOW would have enough patience to use a syringe, right?"
His frustration caused him to miss the glazed look in her eyes, "…I met someone who also got implanted back in Raccoon, but since he and William weren't a genetic match, he died."
"So?" he asked harshly, failing to see how the fact was significant.
The redhead gave him look that told him he shouldn't interrupt her while she was speaking. He sealed his lips as she continued, "When I saw him after getting implanted, his lips were cracked, like they were forced open, and his voice was hoarse, like he swallowed something unpleasant."
He paused in thought, "…you think it's implanted orally?"
She shook her head, "I'm not sure. There were no signs that anything was forced into Sherry's mouth back then. But what bothers me is that, this guy… before the embryo killed him he said there was something unbearably painful in his chest. After that, a creature came out of him." Her attractive face contorted in slight horror as—he guessed—she recalled the unpleasant event.
"And Sherry?" he was getting impatient. He didn't care about some dead guy, he cared about Sherry.
There was a pause, Claire being extremely hesitant to tell him, "When she was implanted, she told me it was her stomach that hurt."
Her statement made his blood cold. His temples throbbed at the possibilities he thought of. "…you don't think…"
"To this day, I'm still hoping she would open up and tell me I'm wrong."
There was no room for mistakes, Jake knew. He couldn't take the chance of losing control again with Sherry, not if it meant losing her as well. So he became more cautious around her, often thinking twice before touching her, afraid that his actions might bring up memories of her terrible past.
Holding her hand was okay, so was embracing her. Kisses were also safe as long as he didn't do what he did last time. But it wasn't the same, he knew. His affectionate gestures were always restrained for fear that if he let himself go too much he'd lose control and make a mistake again. It was draining him. He needed her like air. He often found himself longing to touch her, to hold her closer and kiss her deeper but couldn't. It was frustrating him greatly and he found himself visiting Claire even more, hoping that she would have the answer to Sherry's fears.
One time, she asked where he had gone when he got back to her apartment. For a moment he considered telling her he had gone to see Claire but dismissed the idea, thinking that she might not like the fact that he had been talking with her savior about her. Instead, he told her he went to see a friend.
She didn't seem to believe him at first but for whatever reason, she didn't push it further.
That night, she asked him to stay for the night for the first time after the incident. He agreed, not really wanting to be away from her again. He offered to take the couch, uncertain whether she was comfortable to sleep on the same bed with him again, but she disagreed, telling him she'd like it more if he was beside her.
They lied together on bed, her bare arm around his stomach and her head on his torso. He kept her hostage in his arms, holding her by the waist. Their legs were tangled underneath the blanket and he could feel the smooth skin of her thighs, the warmth of her body through his thin white t-shirt as he stroked the exposed flesh of her elbow with his thumb.
He remembered when she used to sleep in long clothes. It was when they started doing this that she had begun to dress more comfortably to bed. She had told him it was because of him, that he offered a stronger sense of protection than any of her clothes, and that it was only with him that her nightmares didn't haunt her in her sleep.
He shifted slightly, bringing her closer to his person. Her hand brushed the skin of his biceps raising goose bumps at the contact.
God, he wanted her. He wanted to kiss her and touch her in the most intimate ways, but he restrained himself. His body felt warm and his heart rate picked up as he fantasized holding her like he had always wanted. But he couldn't, at least not yet. He had to be patient until she was ready for the intimacy he craved.
"Jake?" her soft voice brought him out of his thoughts. He opened his eyes to look at her quizzically. He had thought she was asleep. He couldn't see her face as she began to gently caress the spot where her hand had previously made contact. He hummed to her in reply, prompting her to continue.
It took a few moments before she responded, "Are we okay?"
Her question surprised him somewhat, though he didn't let it show. He understood what she meant about 'we' but he couldn't comprehend how she would think there was something wrong with their relationship. Hesitantly, he said, "Aren't we?"
"Are we?" she repeated, almost sounding afraid. Her fingers had stopped stroking his skin and had instead gripped his bicep lightly.
He had done something wrong again, Jake thought to himself, because he made her doubtful of what he felt for her.
He kissed the top of her head before pulling her higher to his chest so that her whole frame was on top of him. Their faces had inched closer due to his action and he tilted her head so that she would be facing him. Her chin settled on his torso just above where his heart was located. He could see doubt and fear in her usually bright blue eyes and it pained him to know he had caused her such distress.
"Of course, we are," he whispered, stroking her cheekbones gently, "I'm sorry if I made you think otherwise."
She bit her lip, averting her eyes from his. She seemed to consider something as he watched her, and when she looked back at him, she said, "Promise me you'll tell me if we're not."
Her statement made him frown, "We are not going to be not okay, Sherry, because you know that I—"
"Promise me." The slight tremble in her voice didn't go unnoticed to him but he kept silent, trying to read her as she pleaded with her eyes.
It felt like déjà vu, her asking him to promise something ridiculously stupid.
"Fine." He grumbled.
She gave him a small smile just like before, but this time, she closed the space between them until their lips touched.
In his mind, he wondered if she knew that he had been lying again. Because he would never let them be not okay.
"Did I do something wrong?"
Claire could only watch Jake as he brooded. She mentally sighed when she realized he was a typical dense male. "You haven't been as affectionate to her lately. She knows you've been meeting up with someone frequently but you didn't tell her who when she asked… how do you think this all looks to her?"
He rubbed the back of his head, looking frustrated, "She thinks I'm cheating on her." She didn't reply, only watched him as he struggled, "What am I supposed to do?"
She sighed out loud, almost sounding as frustrated as he was, "Jake, why didn't you tell her you were meeting up with me?"
He seemed surprised at her change of tone but answered nonetheless, "I didn't think she'd like it… that I went to you about these things instead of asking her."
"Then why did you go to me?" she asked, crossing her arms and using them to lean on her desk, "Why are you still asking me about her now that you're together?" he didn't have an answer, and she felt slightly guilty for losing her patience so quickly. As much as she would love to help him with his and Sherry's relationship, she knew she was beginning to intrude. She let out a breath, speaking with a softer tone, "Jake, be honest with me, why are you here?"
"…I don't know…"
She gazed at him sympathetically. She knew he was new to this, to relationships and love, but she wasn't the right person to ask for help. "You're in a relationship now, Jake. And being in a relationship means you have to do things together, not just the dinners or the movies, but also solving problems you two face."
He kept his eyes averted but she knew he was listening. Suddenly, she felt a wave of relief knowing that a man like him would be taking care of Sherry.
"You're not alone anymore, Jake," she told him again in that gentle tone that comes when she was giving advice. Hopefully, this was also the last, "Talk to her."
Jake entered Sherry's dark apartment quietly. It was late and Sherry was probably asleep by now but he wanted to talk to her as soon as possible. He decided to follow Claire's final advice to him and thought that he could tell her first thing in the morning if he spent the night there.
He closed the door and moved to flick the switch on the lights but he stopped when he noticed the figure of Sherry Birkin seated on the couch. She was settled on the side of the furniture, hugging her legs to her chest. It was her very same stance when they talked about the incident. Her somber mood made him frown. He didn't know what was wrong.
He slowly walked to her, "Hey,"
"Hi," she greeted back just as softly. She forced a smile as he came closer, "Where have you been?"
He stopped just in front of her. Her head was tilted up so she could look at his face and he hesitated, "About that…" he took a seat beside her and rubbed the back of his head. He failed to see the growing fear that was showing in her eyes.
"…what is it?" she asked quietly.
Hesitantly, he took her hands in his, keeping his eyes on them. Her legs fell off the couch until she was seated normally in front of him. "There's something I have to tell you."
He didn't know why but he felt embarrassed telling her. Sure, he appreciated Claire's advice but now that he was admitting it to Sherry, they suddenly seemed silly.
He didn't realize he had been silent for too long until she spoke. "It's okay…" her hands gently slipped out of his, "I… I understand. You don't have to say it."
His eyes snapped back to her, feeling incredibly self-conscious, "…you knew?"
She gave a half-hearted laugh, standing up and facing her back to him, "I never really expected anyone to ever stay with me for long. I guess I'm just too messed up to ever get into a real relationship."
He suddenly felt lost. "Whoa, whoa, wait." Standing up, he caught her elbow and made her face him. "What the hell are you blabbing about?"
She crossed her arms over her chest, hugging herself tightly, "You're leaving me…" the pain in her voice hurt him but he couldn't understand, "…aren't you?"
His brows furrowed in surprise and utter confusion, "What the hell gave you that idea?"
"Well, what the hell wouldn't make you leave?" she retorted and he scowled at the crap that was coming out of her mouth, "I'm broken as it is. I wake up screaming every night without you. I have a freaking virus that—that makes me young forever. I don't know how to date, or—or how to be a girlfriend. Hell, I couldn't even kiss you!" she was flailing her arms around as if to emphasize her point. But then she quieted, putting a hand to her forehead as she continued with a soft voice "…if I couldn't even do that then… I'll never be able to do anything more intimate… I would never be able to please you."
He stopped short, "Is that what you think? That you need to do all those things to make me stay?" he asked incredulously and she avoided his gaze. He took her face gently in his hands and leaned their foreheads together, murmuring to her softly, "Sherry, I wouldn't care if I never got to touch you as long as I have you. That's enough for me."
"For how long, Jake? You know we can't stay like this forever." She put her hands just behind his jawline and he could feel the longing, the want, the need between them. "Just feeling it isn't enough…" her eyes closed for a moment, basking in his touch. "What if you need something more? There are a lot of things I can't give you, Jake, things that you can find with someone else."
"You have given me enough." He told her but she merely looked away, "No, Sherry, listen to me," he held her chin between his thumb and forefinger, making her face him. She kept her eyes averted from his, "I'm not gonna lie, I'm not as chaste and pure as you are. Hell, I've been sleeping with women since I became a mercenary, most of it to relieve stress, or just because I wanted a good fuck every now and then." It was not something he was proud of but she needed to know how he was before her. Because she made him better, "But you, Sherry, you gave me something that no one else ever did." Finally, she met his eyes, "You cared… And you made me care back. You saved what little humanity I had left." He confessed, just like he did back in that facility. He hoped she'd understand now. "So don't you ever think that I'll leave you just so I could fulfill some sexual desire, okay?"
"But how about the future?" she retorted, looking hesitant, "What if someday you want a family? What if you want to have kids?"
It was strange, he thought for a passing moment. He had never considered the day that he would be talking to someone about having a family. He just wasn't that type of guy. It should've been awkward, but he'd been so certain about her for such a long time that a future with her was all he could really imagine. "We'll adopt. Simple as that."
"But what if—"
He abruptly pecked her lips, silencing her before he whispered in a husky voice. "No more buts. Don't think about those things yet. I told you, this is enough." She kept silent and avoided his gaze. He silently sighed. He wanted her to be his in every way just like she did, but he knew that they have to wait. "Just have to be patient, Supergirl. Of course, if you really want to know how good I am in bed we can try it some time." He wiggled his brows at her and grinned when he saw her smile. He held her face carefully between his hands, looking at her in the eyes. "I want you too, Sherry, but not until you're ready. That's why we'll take this one," he kissed her forehead, "step," then the tip of her nose, "at a time." And finally her lips, a promise that he would never leave her.
"Jake," Claire said in surprise when he entered her office for the first time in more than two years. "It's been a while. Is there something wrong?"
He sat down on the chair in front of her table, just like he did the last time he was there. He kept licking his lips, and from Sherry, she knew he was nervous about something. "Not exactly wrong per se," he answered carefully. His hesitance made her somewhat skeptical and she raised an eyebrow. "Actually," he slipped a hand into his pocket, "There's something I need advice for."
She gasped when he revealed the item he retrieved. Her mouth hung open and she found it hard to close it so she covered it with both of her hands. Staring at the glittering diamond of the ring in his hand, she could only look back at the man in front of her.
He smiled softly, and she thought she finally saw the side of Jake Muller that was reserved only for Sherry Birkin, "Do you think she'll like it?"
As she smiled, Claire thought that Sherry Muller has a nice ring to it.
First things first, I kinda maybe got the summary from Newsroom Episode: "Fix You" which is based on Coldplay's song of the same title. I don't know why but it just suddenly came to me XD
I know this is a bit different from the usual Jake and Sherry fics but I just thought... wouldn't Sherry be traumatized to some extent after Raccoon? And so, Dysfunctionality (that's such a beautiful word, huh? :D) was born.
Chief Irons was the other guy implanted with the embryo, I know you remember :D at first, I refused to believe that Sherry was implanted differently from the pervert but when I watched the cutscenes again, I realized, "Ah... shit. She wasn't implanted orally, was she?" Claire pointed out my observations.
I know! I know, Jake is pretty OOC here but I can't help it! OOC Jake is cute X3 Plus, love can change a person you know ;D
On a final note, I know it's weird that Jake showed Claire the ring but... i don't know how to end it XDD i might change it in the future though.
Important question: Would you be interested in Sherry's POV of this story?
I'm planning on writing it but it would probably take me a few months before I could post it. I'm busy as it is (I have an exam and am currently supposed to be studying but I finished this instead XD). Anyways, Heads up for those interested. I might post it as a separate story though.
I think that's all... yep. :D
Thanks for reading! Review and tell how it is :)