Title: Wufei's worst assignment. (or How to torture our favo Gundam pilot)
Author: DBZVelena
Disclaimer: This is FANfiction, there for i own nuthing, you can't sue me,
and if you try anyway, you'll just make an ass out of ya self.

Note: I take a break from Lena kitty cus i need it.


Wufei was standing in Une's office. Being briefed about his next assignment.
And hating it.

Normally Wufei likes new assignments, cus he really likes his job. Keeping the world safe from scum.
But not this time. Why? Because of the stuff he'll have to wear.

A thong. And not just any, but a tiger striped one. And its tiny.

Now if he would have to wear it along with some other stuff it wouldn't be so bad.

But that's not the case. He'll be wearing the thong and ONLY the thong. Why?

Cus the new assignment is in a exotic dance club. A club exclusively for woman.

So basically Chang Wufei has to wear a tiny thong in front of a large group of woman and....

They expect him to dance.

Wufei rubbed his temple, hoping the headache that was coming on, would go away.

No such luck, it hit when Une mentioned that Preventer Sally would be his partner on this assignment.

//Great, not only will I be dancing almost naked in front of a mob of Woman, but Sally will be in it as well.
And of course she will tease him about the ordeal for at least a month afterwards.//

The assignment was simple. There was a arms dealer that used the club as a cover. Wufei and Sally would go in
and gather evidence. After that they would arrest the whole lot. A standard Undercover operation.
It had just one problem. The only way ANY male got in the club was as a dancer.
Even the bouncers at the door were female. So that was why Wufei had to wear a thong, a tiny thong with tiger stripes.

//Why on earth had Une decided that of all people HE had to do it. Why not Duo or Trowa or anybody but him.//

"I am sure you will bring this mission to a great success. Good Luck Preventer Chang."

That was his signal for "Get the hell out of my office i have more important things to do". But Une did not curse.
Une could be as cold as hell frozen over, but she would not curse.

Wufei left Une's office, he knew Sally had her briefing earlier. For some unknown to him reason,
Une had decided to give each of them a separate briefing. Now he was on his way to the dress department,
to retrieve the tiny tiger striped thong. Cursing under his breath about crazy Onna's, stupid thongs
and fucked up assignments. Wufei made his way to the basement. In Preventer headquarters basement there was a huge
place filled with all and any type of clothing you can think off. For the sole purpose of undercover work.

//Do Duo has made a habit out of "borrowing" clothing from the place.//
Last time Duo had "borrowed" a nurse outfit. Wufei still didn't know how Duo had talked him in to wearing that
during their "play time" as Duo dubbed it.

Again trying to relieve the tension in his temple Wufei tried to rub the now huge migraine out of his head.

"Ahh, Wufei Sally told me you were coming. I have 2 Items for you." The guy that handled the clothing handed him a black
robe made out of silk. And of course the source of Wufei's headache, the tiny tiger striped thong.

Wufei grabbed the two offered items and walked to his office with a face as a thundercloud.

//I will get through this, I will get through this, I will get through this, I will get through this,
I will get through this, I will not kill Une, I will not kill Une, I will not kill Une,
Ow curses If I get through this I WILL kill Une.//

The idea of torturing Une to death was enough to relieve some of the tension that was causing his migraine.

And around that time Wufei arrived at his office, to find Duo and Sally talking about his up coming mission.
Growling Wufei drops the stuff on his desk.

"Hey Wu-bear, I'm sure you'll look awesome in that thong. To bad I can't come along to see you in it.
But you could always give me a private show after the mission is over?" Duo grinned.
//How can he joke about this? I'm going to be stared at wile I'm practically naked, dancing on some stage.
Last time any onna saw me in that amount of clothing, I was married to her.//

Wufei glared at Duo and Sally, both which then erupted in to giggles.

"Ow come on Wu, its not like you have anything to be ashamed off. Just don't get to close to the edge of the stage."
At this another round of giggles.

Resigning in his fate, Wufei went over the last mission details. He would report in the next day at the specified club.
His stage name would be "Tigger" and he'd get a trail dance to see if he was any good,
before he would get to dance in front of an audience.

//Tigger, who's bright idea was that?//

~~~~~~~~~~ The next day ~~~~~~~~~~

Wufei reread the note. He was supposed to come dressed in his tiny tiger striped thong at the address on the note.
But the place didn't seem like a typical club. Infact it looked like a normal house address.
He rang the doorbell.

The door was opened by a girl round her twenty's. Wufei read what he was supposed to say. "I'm the entertainment tonight".
The girl smiled brightly. "We were waiting for you. Come in, it must be cold wearing that."
The girl said referring to the black robe.

Wufei was almost forcefully directed in to a room filled with woman.

"You can put ya music in to the CD-player on the side." Another Girl also in her twenty's said.

Wufei did as instructed, wile an uneasy feeling crept up his spine.

"Ya can start when ever your ready sweetie." An woman early in her thirties said.

So Wufei did the only thing that made sense and turned on the music and started dancing slowly on the music of
"Dirty Dancing". Dropping the robe in the process.

Wufei danced to several numbers till he was to exhausted to dance some more. "So did i get the job?"
He asked, hoping he hadn't blown the mission by getting exhausted so soon. But those woman were getting on his nerves
and that was draining his energy.

The girl that had opened the door looked puzzled. "Hu, what job? Aren't you the entertainment aunty Une has hired for my

Wufei just stared at the girl for a full 5 seconds, wile the info seeped through.
Now he understood why he had had a different briefing.

//As soon as I get back, I really AM going to kill her.//

Wufei just smirked at the puzzled girl. "Never mind, hey I have to go, I have another address I have to stop by."

The girl smiled. "Naa, we don't mind. Thank you for a great evening. We loved it."

Wufei smiled back, put his robe back on and left.

~~~~~~~~ Next day, early in the morning ~~~~~~~~

Wufei barged in to Une's office without knocking.

"Your 5 minutes late, I had expected you at 7:30." Was Une's cool response even before Wufei got to say a word.

"You realize you have gone to far this time. Justice has to be served, prepare to die."
Wufei got out his katana, he had spent all evening polishing it. But that had not diminished his anger.
It was one thing that he had to wear ridicules stuff for missions, It was another thing entirely to be tricked in to doing
birthday parties for relatives.

Une opened a drawer and placed a tape on her desk. "You will pipe down and show some respect if you don't want this tape to
be released to the media. Your performance got taped yesterday."

Wufei's eyes widened. He could not believe his ears. Une was blackmailing him?

"From now on you will not complain or refuse any mission assigned to you. Got that? If you give me the slightest reason
this tape will find his way to the airwaves." Une was completely cool.

//Some how I should have expected something like this.//
Wufei sighed and did his katana away. "As you wish." He growled.

A slight smile appeared on Une's face. "You are dismissed."

And Wufei left her office.

//Some how I'll have my revenge yet.//
Wufei thought wile he went to return the robe and tiny tiger striped thong.

~~~~~~~~ The end ~~~~~~~~~~