Unsteady as She Goes

His mind races as he desperately tries to come up with some reason, any reason why Jessica is wrong, why Donna has to stay. But Harvey knows when he's been beaten. Miserably, he hears the words come out of his mouth. "You're right."

Jessica nods. He expects her to say something about how she's always right, but instead she says, "I'm sorry, Harvey." He doesn't answer. He doesn't trust himself. "Are you going to do it or am I?" Jessica asks.

Harvey hangs his head. "Tell her I wanted to be the one." The words contain no trace of bitterness or anger, just misery. He doesn't look at Jessica as he stands and walks out of the office.


He considers getting her flowers or chocolate. But that would just add to the pain, for both of them. Instead, he vows to himself that he is going to kick Hardman's sorry ass and get Donna back.

He waits for her at the elevator so he can say goodbye. Then, he sees her, walking quickly and stiffly, a large box in her arms. He wants so badly to take it for her, to help her. But he can't. Damn it!

She slows as she gets nearer to him. He takes a step forward, but doesn't make any other move. The way she's looking at him makes him freeze.

The pain in her eyes, the betrayal, the heartbreak. He longs to tell her that it wasn't his decision, that he fought tooth and nail, that he is going to do whatever it takes to get her back. But he says none of those things, because he knows she's trying to contain herself and if he does, she'll break down. And so will he.

Instead, he presses the button of the elevator, the door sliding open. A gaping maw, waiting to swallow away Donna into its depths. She walks forward, pausing a moment to stare into Harvey. The look on her face as he shoves his hands into his pockets says it all. I thought you cared.

The small *ding* of the elevator door as it shuts, his beautiful assistant trapped inside, is almost enough to bring tears to his eyes. He turns and sees Mike standing across the room. The kid has a look on his face that hurts almost as much as Donna. You were supposed to fix this.

Harvey's mouth opens. He wants to scream at his associate. What does he know? Does he even realize how much this hurts Harvey?

But he doesn't because damn it the kid was right. He was supposed to fix it. He should be the one walking out that door, not Donna.

He goes down a bit later and walks out to his car. Ray looks at him in the rearview mirror. "Where to, Harvey?"

"Just take me home, Ray," he answers, exhausted, his voice betraying his emotions. Ray seems to understand that now is not the time to be asking questions, and Harvey is thankful that his driver knows him so well.

Soon, he's splayed on the couch, drinking cheap whiskey and listening to Miles Davis. He'd considered going to a bar, but he wanted to be alone with his guilt and sorrow.

And because he and Donna shared a very similar taste in bars, and he was afraid he would see her.

He's reminded of another time he drank himself stupid. That time, Donna had come to kick his ass back into gear. She won't be here this time.

His alcohol-filled mind slowly begins to think that maybe it would be best to stop drinking now because Hardman is waiting for any opportunity to undermine him or Jessica.


Harvey's jaw tightens. He's going to pay for this.


Hope you enjoyed! :) Write a review (go ahead, I don't bite) if you feel like it. Also, there was a small reference to one of my other Suits fics, 5 Times Harvey Helps and One Time He's Helped. Um, if you feel like reading that, go for it.