I am a dirty old git.

Really, I am. 900 years old, and I am enjoying every minute of this. Very inappropriate. And very fantastic.

The 'dirty old git' in question swallowed quite hard as he looked back down at the dashboard of the TARDIS. He was presumably selecting their next destination, but a certain companion on board made it quite difficult indeed. With all her pen chewing, messy curls and her- good heavens, was she not wearing a brassiere? No, that can't be. She didn't normally do that, did she? Surely I'd've noticed, yes. I should have noticed.

That's awful.

He released a slightly frustrated sigh, and continued going about his business on the dashboard. The TARDIS made it clear she appreciated the attention, and he found himself smiling inwardly. The ship seemed like she was a good mood, and he found himself almost envious. Its not like there was anything bad or awful occurring, but day in and day out his exhaustion grew.

That precious girl sat there working on her sudoku or something without a damn care in the cosmos, and she looked so good doing it. He wanted so badly to just throw her down and give her a good snogging. But no, it wasn't right. He wasn't quite sure how to make the approach. For months now it haunted him, she would be all ripe and ready for a good ravishing, but then he'd cop-out, making a half a dozen excuses up to himself.

S'not like I haven't courted a woman before, but...it certainly has been awhile.

"Doctor, I was wondering we might go someplace..."

Don't you say the 'D' word.

She gave a knowing look, like she knew exactly what his thoughts were, "oh, I dunno, domestic maybe?"

The Doctor gave a sort of snort at her request, "how domestic are we talking?"

"Oh you know, someplace unique and new, but not in danger in any way, shape, or form." She gave an amused smile watching his expression sour a bit from her statement, but was surprised to find that his features brighten after he gathered his thoughts.

"You know, there is in fact a place I would not mind visiting at all right about now. Be a very new experience for you, and I can utilize a particular technology they have.

Rose did not feel particularly reassured by his statement, but trusted him nonetheless. He started punching buttons and turning knobs on the dashboard of the TARDIS, and his pace quickened while his smile grew, "y'know this trip is exactly what I need, give me a bit of time to mull over a few thoughts."

Rose smiled back at him brightly, and started rushing about as well as he pointed at various buttons and such and jiggled a few levers. After a few moments, the ship trembled into a stop and they had arrived at their destination. He straightened out his leather jacket and threw a glance at Rose at precisely the wrong moment. She had just tossed her wild hair back to be contained in a ponytail, and the Doctor felt himself choke on his own breath. As she so desperately tried to contain each strand of her hair as her breasts bounced in what he found could only be the most delightful fashion. Those lush plump breast in which he could make out underneath the white t-shirt that was cut short at her stomach.

If only she rose her arms up just a bit higher, and I could get a good glance-.

Nope, like I said. I am taking this way too far , and-.

A solemn sigh escaped his lips, and it was too late. The not so elusive trouser snake stirred.

And it hungered for Rose Tyler.

He took a step to the left hoping that she had not notice his rather awkward behavior. "Well I suppose we'll be off, yes?"

"Oi Doctor, I'm not even dressed proper, give me a moment. 'Ow's the weather out there?" She asked, already part way down the hall, her voice resonating through the ship.

"You should be fit to wear whatever you want, nice weather" he commented, not bothering to mention that they would be inside mostly anyway, and that their temperature systems accommodated each individual being present.

"You do promise that there will be absolutely no running, yes?"

"Well, mm, yes I suppose I could promise that." The last Time Lord, defeated by simple human girl, but not just any human girl. His human girl. With her dazzling smile, golden locks, and impossibly gorgeous legs. Wow. He found himself staring at the creamy expanse of his favorite companion's upper thigh revealed by a rather flirty floral dress that had no sleeves, and covered her legs hardly.

I think I might have forgotten how to breath. Superior biology be damned.

Her messy waves lay atop her head it in a rather seductive fashion while loose tendrils caressed her neck and shoulders, and he went away cataloging every singl-.

"Ahem, is there something wrong?"

He found those big brown eyes giving him a questioning glance. They also looked amused at the standstill. The Doctor found himself trying to form the word 'no', but alas he ended up simply shaking his head. After tinkering with a few knobs and twists on the dashboard, he smiled brilliantly at Rose receiving immediately a smile back from her, and with that deviant tongue of hers. He offered his hand out stretched to her, and as usually she grasped his back and gave it a tighter squeeze than necessary.

A gentle glow of light hit their faces as they entered the room outside the TARDIS, the light source being the setting of this planet's Sun coming through the tall windows looking out on to elegant and dignified spires of the city. "Welcome to Gai'nosh, city of thought. Civilization of telepathic humanoids, year 7189. Everything is run telepathically, and they have some rather provocative inventions that won't reach Earth for another oh, 2000-ish years."

" Gee, a whole lotta good that does me," Rose mumbled, giving her 'I am not amused expression'.

" Oh c'mon Rose Tyler, it's alright. You won't have to lift a finger, most of the machines can do all the work for you. And plus, you've got me" he finished the sentence wrapping his arm around her shoulders.

She gave a small approving grin, "alright, I suppose you aren't too bad to have around."

"Well alright, I'm glad we agree." He released his grasp of her shoulder, and was pleased to find her hand making its way into his. "Now be careful about your thoughts as they have the ability to manipulate all the environment. You can open doors, order food, clean things, all sorts of nonsense. Anything is possible."

Testing the Doctor's words she imagined the walls were pink instead of white. The hue in her mind soon matched the walls, and Doctor gave a small amused grin. The started to walk through the hallway, and realized that it didn't seem to lead them anywhere. "Where are we going Doctor?"

"Haven't a place in mind, you?"

" I wouldn't mind a-" before she could finish the statement, a door appeared to the right of the hall, an entire bustling alien marketplace appeared, "bit of shopping. Well then."

"Shall we?" He smiled broadly, all her skeptisism gone. They stepped through the door and into the mingling crowds of hundreds of alien life forms. There were stalls with trinkets and gadgets and fine woven cloths. All the dazzling pretty things a young human girl could ever want to look at. There was a table of elegant and colorfully designed broaches that caught Rose's attention, and they both found themselves maneuvering the crowds to approach the said table. The seller turned their focus on the duo smiled in greetings, "interested in the best piece of clothing you've ever invested in?

"Clothing?" Rose inquired, confused by the statement. She turned to the Doctor, and he nodded at her approvingly.

"Allow me to demonstrate," the seller continued her pitch by grabbing one of the broaches that was diamond shaped, and positioning it on the stomach of a mannequin. With the broach as a center piece, fabric freely flowed from it, wrapping its self as dress. "It will mimic any design you can imagine, and will change color at your will."

" No way, that is too cool," Rose commented as she picked up one with a particularly familiar shade of blue clustered sapphires in a rectangular design. She looked up at the Doctor very hopeful, "may I get one?"

"O'course Rose Tyler, any thing you want. This trip is all for you," he brushed a bit of hair off of her shoulder, his fingers just barely skimming the surface of her skin eliciting a slight tremble from the human girl. She looked up at him with an innocent gaze, happiness emanating from hearing his words. And a mild hint of something else that he couldn't quite place.

He gave the woman a random amount of credits causing her go get change for the purchase. "Anything else you'd like to go shopping for Ms. Tyler?"

"I thought you'd never ask," her tongue slipping out the corner of lips as she smiled, "I'd love to get some shoes!"

He gave her an apprehensive glance, but decided not to say anything thing against it. He offered his arm, and she accepted it gratefully, pressing her bosom against his upper arm. The warmth was more than welcome to the over imaginative time lord.

After ten minutes of searching eagerly through the market, they finally found a booth that tended to human feet. Rose's face lit up in delight, "oh my God, this is just heaven it is. Oi, do you see those heels? They are so tall, mm, and look at those!"

She was immediately tended to by two merchants cooing over her, and encouraging her to try on every pair they had in her size. The Doctor found himself watching her excitement over what could only have been some of the most scandalous shoes he had ever seen. He tried to remain expressionless as she eyed him coyly while wearing a pair a pale pink heels that looked as though they belonged to a receptionist. That is if a receptionist wore 6 inch heels. Their was delicate little tie at her ankle as well, and something in him stirred as she mouthed 'do you like it'. He rose a brow.

Did he like it?

He absolutely loved it.

And he also loved that sometimes she seemed to forgot to be a lady. Either purposely or not she had one leg propped up on the table and the other on the ground as she admired the view of it. Did she...? No...she didn't. She did not just eye me, did she? Oh.

He averted his eyes after having received an eyefull of her panties. White. Just plain white. So help him for wanting to befoul something as pure as Rose in white knickers. He had to get his mind of of the gutter. He thought about how much of an annoyance this shopping trip would turn out to be one he had to start carrying all the bags. Like he cared. He scoffed at the thought knowing that he was at this woman's beck and call. It was the only way he could repent for all his sordid fantasies about the human girl he claimed as his charge. Oh he would get quite the earful from Jackie if she ever knew. They both would probably slap him as well.

And Jack would be proud.

She motioned towards him and there was a clerk at his side in seconds as she asked for his payment. He looked at the sweet Rose, and she gave a little wave.

"Are you getting the pink ones among all those pairs?"

" Well I-"

He turned to the clerk, "pack those pink heels with the little ankle bow, and any other of the same style in her size, plus what ever else she got out that she wants."

The merchant smiled and nodded, and took his card. He smiled at the girl, and found that her cheeks were dusted in the mildest of blushes. " Where to next Ms. Tyler?"

"Lets see where the crowd takes us."

Together they sat quietly until the merchant was done ringing up the transaction. He told her to have them sent to a hotel, surprising Rose with the thought of staying somewhere outside the TARDIS. They walked through the crowd again, aimlessly milling about, picking up trinkets here and there for friends and family.

Rose suddenly stopped in the middle of the crowd, alarming the Doctor "something the matter?" He noticed her gazing at a shop, but he couldn't distinguish which one.

"That is the cutest lingerie set I have ever seen," Rose grasped his hand and dragged him to the front of the store. "I could definitely need some replacements considering what happen to the last few bras I owned."

Embarrassment hit his face, but then jealousy came over him as well, "and what exactly happened?"

"You happened, that's what. My poor undergarments, as well as half my wardrobe! All this running amuck, and explosions and danger around every corner! I am surprised I am clothed sometimes!"

" Well then, go shop to your heart's content since I have apparently wreaked so much havoc on your wardrobe." He crossed his arms, and smiled, "I'll wait out here."

Without missing a beat, she exclaimed, "nonsense, come with me," she seized his hand, and they entered the store together. The Time Lord felt as though he should shut his eyes and stand in a corner, but a morbid curiosity filled him as he started to eye the racks of brassieres and matching knickers, and oh God, thongs.

Leave it to humans to create easy access to sexually admired locations.

He paid little mind to what Rose was picking up and considering for 'trying on'. After several minutes of looking around, she slipped into the dressing room, leaving the Doctor in a sort of reprieve. Boy did his mind have ammunition for his fantasies now. It wandered to the naked Rose Tyler in the other room, trying on various seductive items. Pieces of clothing that he would never see unless he was lucky enough catch a glance as her clothing shifted, or maybe walking in on her as she changed on the TARDIS.

I am so not going to sleep tonight.

"Doctor!" Rose called from behind the door, his attention focused on the dressing room now as he was ripped from his thoughts.


"Which do you like more?" She asked him while standing on a chair, her head bobbing up to look at him, she swung two hangers over the door revealing two very different sets. He felt his mouth go dry.

In one hand was a pale pink that he immediately noted matched the shoes from earlier. It was ruffly and had little bows on it that made him start to consider that he might have some sort of lolita complex.

The other one was decidedly raunchy. It had snow leopard print with black lace trimming all the teasable locations, held in place with a neon purple ribbon. There was something so dirty and naughty about it, that he could say nothing about which he might prefer in the end.

"Your right, words aren't enough to describe either of them, I'll just get both." She finalized her choices, and came out of the room fully clothed, much to his relief. Again he was approached by the merchant, and he payed her while his eyes never left Rose's form.

When she looked at him, he thought he caught a sultry look from her through her lashes, but he chalked it up to an over active imagination. A smile spread through his expression, and approached her "are you ready to eat?"

"I am famished. I could eat any thing just about now. What about you?"

Yes, very much so. Are you on the menu?

" Yeah, I could definitely eat. It's been awhile. I am feeling homey, fish and chips?"

"Mm, absolutely Doctor. Are you reading my mind?" She teased, wrapping her arm around his, so as not to lose him in the crowd. A door opened near them, the aroma of fried goods and vinegar wafting in a heavenly fashion found them. They found an empty booth, and much to the Time Lords chagrin she scooted in right beside him instead of sitting across from him.

"Oi, Doctor, you smell different, something..." she carried off, unable to describe the scent aptly. She leaned in closer to him to get a clearer waft, "it's like honey, mixed in with your usual... time smell."

He eyed her, "time has a scent?"

"I concluded long ago that if time had a scent, it was what you smelled like."

"I am not sure if I should be flattered or not."

"I think you should be. Its sexy and masculine," she smiled, her tongue peaking out, "you'd make fortune if you could find a way to bottle it."

" Yeah, whatever," he rolled his eyes at the notion, but still could not prevent the blush from occurring. "Though I am sure you are right, I don't think I want the entire universe smelling like me."

"And I don't think you need the ego boost." She leaned her body into his, her own scent clear to him, she smelled of the flowers she was so named for, accompanied by something rich and heady like a fine liquor.

A large basket of fish and chips big enough for the two of them appeared on their table, and Rose started snatching chips and dipping them in vinegar. She would momentarily suck on the frite before engulfing it in it's entirety. The Doctor ate, but not without difficulty. It was like she performing oral on her food, and he couldn't help but imagine those lush large lips around...

She glanced at him knowingly, and despite wanting to deny noticing her hungry eyes, his mine went rampant with desire. Vividly he imagined her slipping beneath the table and using her lips in the most heated of ways. He had to gasp for air.

Her expression changed into something much more modest than before, her cheeks immersed in pink, and instead of her tongue tantalizing him as per usual, she was biting and sucking on her bottom lip.

That still did not ease the tent.

Rose shifted her position, crossing her legs tightly, but her toes now trapped behind the back of his leg. The contact still fueled his fire, but he resumed eating, trying to forget the brief fantasy.