Nice Legs, Misaki

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{Fushimi Saruhiko was amused. Yata Misaki was not. Crack-ish, AU-ish, SaruMi}

Disclaimer: I don't own K. Because if I do…

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Fushimi Saruhiko was bored. He had never been this bored in his twenty-one years of living. Probably. Seriously, the world is a big and boring place. Usually, he wouldn't mind but that day he did mind. He just wished something interesting—something far more interesting than watching an elephant giving birth. Seriously, how the heck did that happen? He was just watching some trailers of some new movies then BAM—an elephant giving birth.

Don't even ask him why he was still watching the video. Just don't.

The sound of the door being thrown out of its hinge brought his attention away from the video—aw damn, that baby elephant was cute—to the tornado—probably just Misaki, who was currently stomping towards the living room where Saruhiko was currently at. He could hear the sound of the door closing—oh, it wasn't thrown out of its hinge then—even though the sound of Misaki's stomps were a bit louder.

It took Misaki longer than usual to reach the living room and Saruhiko was curious. He could hear the other guy throwing curses at whoever the 'Goddamn-dog' and 'Freaking-bar-owner' were. He felt a bit sorry for whomever that were mentioned earlier—Misaki was really good at cursing. He could pick up a few other words such as 'dare', 'short', 'fuck', 'kinks' and 'die'.

His day just got interesting.

A few moments later, a blushing and clearly mad Misaki stood in the living room facing Saruhiko. Saruhiko raised his eyebrows as he studied Misaki's outfit from head-to-toe and smirked. Oh, yes; his day just got very interesting. Misaki was glaring hotly at him and the hell if that wasn't hot. And plus…

"Hey, Mi-sa-ki~" Saruhiko cooed, clearly amused because of Misaki's condition. "Mind telling me why in the world are you wearing a school uniform?" Oh, yes. Thank you whoever that made his wish came true. "A girl's school uniform."

"S-shut up, bastard! Do you want me to kill you?!" If Misaki's face wasn't as red as a tomato, he could probably scare Saruhiko with his threat.

Saruhiko's eyes drifted downwards as his smirk grew wider every passing second. Oh yeah, Mama-Elephant, what a great view. Misaki was trying hard to lower the short—very short—skirt to cover his bare legs.

Fushimi Saruhiko was amused. Yata Misaki was not.

"Nice legs, Misaki," Saruhiko commented unnecessarily, eyes still on Misaki's exposed thigh. If it was possible, Misaki turned redder.

"Shut up, you goddamn pervert! My face is up here!" Misaki felt like killing himself.

"Oh, yes, your face is. But, your legs are clearly down there." With some other things, the small voice in the back of his head helpfully added.

"YOU DAMN PERVERT!"

"Ah, well, tell me something I don't know, Misaki," he said smugly. He willed his eyes to look at Misaki's red face. "So, how did this happen?"

Misaki mumbled something inaudible. Saruhiko sighed. "Ah, yes, I could clearly hear you, Mi-sa-ki~"

"I said; the Stupid-goddamn-dog and the Freaking-bar-owner fucking dared me, too!"

Thank you, the Stupid-goddamn-dog and the Freaking-bar-owner—whoever you are.

"Then, aren't you cold, Misaki?" Saruhiko asked concernedly, "I can help you warm your body up, if you want to." And the perverted expression was back.

"I fucking hate you, Saru," said Misaki. "I'm going to change."

Saruhiko eyed Misaki's legs—and ass—as the latter climbed up the stairs as he tried to cover his legs even though it was completely useless. The skirt was that short—and was Misaki wearing a girls' underwear? And damn if Saruhiko was wasting this great opputurnity to play—ravish—harass—Misaki. Misaki was heading to his own room and Saruhiko guessed he should join the boy. Oh, yes, he would.

He was half-way up the stairs when his phone rang. He groaned loadly and narrowed his eyes. Who the hell dare to disturb him at time like this?!

'Kusanagi Izumo'

Huh? Well, that was unusual. Why would Kusanagi call him? Wasting no more of his precious time—it is very precious when a probably-naked Misaki was present nearby—he pressed the 'Accept' button before raising the phone up to his ear.

All he heard for the first five-seconds was the sound of Kusanagi's chuckles. He raised an eloquent eyebrow. Did he say something funny? Did he even said anything at all?

"Hey, Fushimi," he heard Kusanagi said, "you're very welcome." And the call ended.

Saruhiko smirked as he continued climbing the stairs.

"Thank you indeed, Freaking-bar-owner."

He had a Misaki to play with.

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"Saru," Saruhiko heard the tired voice of Misaki from next to him.

"Hm?"

"…You were watching a video of an elephant giving birth."

"…"

"…"

"…Yes, and?"

"That was fucking weird."

"Yeah? Well, you in females' clothing weren't any better—wait no, it's great. You should do that again sometimes, Misaki."

"Like hell I would."

"You sure, Misaki? Because, I'd probably let you play with the elephant inside me."

"You're weird."

"I know."

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A/N: I'm very sorry (not really), I was bored. Bye.