Hey. Had this idea after reading a good book, and so I was like, hm… and now, here we are! I usually don't like it when people turn allen into a girl, but the plan wouldn't have worked if allen were a guy (well, it mighta, but I didn't feel like making this a lemon, though that woulda been fulla smexyass shit) so the gods decided to save me the trouble by neutering him, so if you're unsatisfied, take it up with some divine beings who will smite you at a moment's notice but most likely without. Note that you've been warned of the consequences of flaming me and my story.



these things are line breaks → wO


Was this supposed to be her new home? Nella thought, staring aghast at the dilapidated building in front of her. It looked like it had been withstood several natural disasters—like the biblical flood with that guy Noah and his boat full of animals—but just barely, its black paint peeling like blistered, festering skin and its frame sagging under the weight of rotting beams and eroding mortar.

She stepped back as a sudden gust of wind brought the sign hanging from a metal rod embedded above the doorway hurtling towards her, her fast reflexes saving her from an early death of decapitation. Hesitantly, she picked it up. In big, flowing, faded black cursive, it read:


Nella noted that there was a caption written below in a smaller, childish scrawl:

of a trubld and deeplie disturbd natre

Nella grimaced. They're obviously of an illiterate kind, too.

"Oi, put that down, damn brat!" She looked up and started when she saw a handsome Asian man with long, silky midnight blue hair tied back in a ponytail barreling towards her from the left with something very shiny held firmly in one hand. Wasn't that a—?

Nella gasped as, at the last minute, she dodged a deadly slash from the beautiful young man's katana.

"W-What the hell do you think you're doing?" she gaped, backpedaling away from the blade-wielding psychopath, who merely narrowed his eyes and brandished his sword, taking another threatening step forward.

"Isn't it obvious, thief?" he snarled, jumping forward with seemingly non-human speed.

"I-I'm not a—" Nella dodged another deathblow "—thief!" The last part came out high-pitched and squeaky as she tripped over her small suitcase—she must've dropped it in all the excitement—and fell onto her butt with an audible oomph. She gulped as a sharp, gleaming sword was suddenly thrust into her face.

The man sneered down at her, scorn written all over his pretty porcelain face. "You better explain yourself, damn thieving Moyashi."

Nella gulped again. Who—or what—was Moyashi?

"N-No need to be rash…" Nella breathed, wincing as the blade lowered itself to her neck and bit into her skin. A steady rivulet of warm blood gushed from the small wound. She'd have to make sure it didn't permanently scar, if she didn't bleed herself dry first.

"Yuu-chan, stop!" Nella looked up and sighed gratefully as another beautiful youth appeared, this one an Irish redhead with bright emerald green eyes—well, eye; he was wearing an eyepatch over his right eye—burdened with several loads of goods in brown paper bags. Her relief morphed to disbelief when the redhead, instead of helping her to her feet, glomped her would-be killer.

"Don't call me that, BakaUsagi!" Despite only narrowly missing a disembowelment, the redhead gave the blue-haired man a cheeky grin.

"Hey, you okay down there?" the redhead asked, finally deigning to divert some of his attention to Nella, who was staring at them unabashedly and shaking her head in disbelief. Why was the world filled with so much beautiful, insensitive idiots like these two?

"I'm fine," she muttered, getting up and dusting off her trousers.

"Sorry bout Yuu-chan here," the redhead said, giving Nella an apologetic grin. "We're still trying to teach him manners. I'm Lavi, by the way."

"It's Kanda, damn BakaUsagi," the blue-haired man irately snapped, pointing his pointy stick at the redhead.

"Ah, right, he doesn't like people callin' him by his first name," Lavi confided, cheekily winking at Nella. "So if I were you, I'd call him Kanda!"

"Right," she muttered, picked up her suitcase and bowed to the two men. If she were to call him anything, it would be something more lengthy and inappropriate. "I'm Allen Walker. Nice to have made your acquaintance," she drawled, giving the blue-haired Kanda a glare as she did. The sarcasm was aimed at you, she mentally projected, accusing him with her silver eyes. He in turn smirked and, with an offhand "Che!" turned and slammed the door to the Black Order open, not bothering to keep it open for her or Lavi.

Inwardly, Nella seethed. Damn this, this… brute! That was no way to treat a girl, even one as flat-chested and prone to cross-dressing as her. He didn't know that, of course, but still—that was no way to treat a person in general!

As if sensing her thoughts, Kanda turned to give her a challenging glare, sneering when she reluctantly lowered her eyes.

If only I didn't have a cover to keep up, Nella huffed. Then I could go beat the snot out of his pompous ass.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you, Allen."

Nella gave the redhead an innocent smile. "Why, whatever do you mean, Lavi?"

The redhead simply laughed before casually throwing an arm across Nella's slender shoulders, hefting up the brown paper bags using one hand. "I take it you're movin' in?"


"Well, Komui's busy right now, so I can show ya around in the mean time." Lavi opened the door, and Nella resignedly followed after, openly gaping as she took in the guest hall of the enormous orphanage.

"We call this the mess hall." And rightly so, thought Nella. There were dozens of sharp, dangerous tools carelessly strewn atop the cushioned seats—which were probably going to give one some malignant disease, judging from the rusty springs jutting out—and, rather than potted plants or floral vases, large jars of viscous fluids with bobbing masses—was that a pig fetus?—sat atop the stands. Nella shuddered as an enormous, seemingly-mutated rat skittered across the floorboards through an obstacle course constructed of broken, forgotten toys.

Seemingly oblivious of—but most likely just ignoring—the white-haired girl's reaction, Lavi eagerly led her through the dank, cobwebby halls, showing her the geography of her new home as he led her on a tour.

"This is the kitchen," Lavi said, opening a pair of double doors. Why did that sound so much like a warning?

Her answer came in the form of a barrage of revolting sensual overload. The stench of putrid, rancid meat assailed her olfactory senses while her optical nerves were simultaneously attacked by visions of unidentifiable biodegradable masses in varying stages of decomposition. Almost every surface not covered by rotting food was adorned by oddly-colored stains and scorch marks.

Lavi had the sense to look a mite chagrined when Nella turned and gave him a questioning look.

"W-We usually eat store-bought premade stuff," he admitted, rubbing at his red hair.

"I can tell," Nella replied, casting a significant look at the brown paper bags Lavi had set down on top of a greasy black cutting board. It seemed she'd have to have a secret cache of her own again. She'd probably get food poisoning if she didn't.

"L-Let's keep goin'!" Lavi beamed, pulling her out through a different door, one which led them to a flight of stairs.

"Oh, watch the steps, they're sorta unsteady," Lavi commented, watching as Nella treaded with a cautious, light foot. It was no surprise to her that the inside of the orphanage was as decrepit as the outside. The stairs seemed to be attached to the wall only with quickly-applied globs of a strange mixture of what seemed to be super glue and cement, and parts of the second floor of the building had rotted away, threatening to splinter apart in certain areas if one didn't carefully disperse their weight.

As they side-stepped an enormous hole in the ground, Lavi theatrically waved his arms about the hall they'd just entered. "Well, this is where we live durin' most of the day."

"I-I can tell…" Nella reiterated. Most of the rooms seemed to be inhabited already, evidence apparent in the form of dirty and soiled clothing strewn haphazardly across the floorboards and along the banisters. Judging from the number of different size boxers, the majority of those housed here were boys. Dirty, impolite boys with no sense of propriety, apparently.

Nella only found it a little disturbing that children were allowed to live here at all, considering all the health codes being so blatantly violated throughout every wing of the orphanage.

It just went to show just how much people in the world cared about the well-being of orphans, particularly troublesome ones like the lazy bunch that seemed to be haunting this orphanage. Nella stifled a small sigh. She was going to fit in quite well here, it seemed.


This was supposed to be modern, but I thought the wording was too weird to pass as that, so I changed it to an AU in the same time period but with none of the magical, supernatural elements.

Wish I was better at making people IC, but since I can't seem to do that… oh well, yalls gonna hafta deal with my weird OOC imposters.

Whether or not yall review, imma keep going with this story. I HOPE yall do though, just to let me know I aint talkin to myself. Oh! I haven't decided the pairing yet, so… any suggestions? Also… would yall rather I keep the details in make out scenes simple and innocent, or get weird and erotic? I dunno what to dooo~! Tell me, what do you think?