Forging the new Steele
Overview: This story is for those who follow and support my first FF story, A different shade of Steele. Yes, I've decided to write the prequel. This is an insight of what happened to Ana during the six years she was away. Like ADoS, I won't go into specifics like starting from the very beginning. As a recap, ADoS is based on the 'what-if Ana eventually agreed to be Christian's Sub and that Christian NEVER lost his control (at least at first)' theme. I like to use themes on each and every chapters/story that I right. The theme or inspiration can either be a song or movie or my mood. This prequel is anything but strong and happy unlike the bad-ass Ana we all love in ADoS so be warned. This is also for those who wondered why the Ana took so long to even consider giving Christian a second chance in ADoS (someone pointed out that it took a whopping 17 chapters) and why Ana is so cold and hard of the first few chapters after meeting CG for the first time in sex years, here's the answer. How did she overcome the heartbreak, the loss? How did she meet Sarah and how did she help mold Ana into a stronger person and how did she become so successful in a short time?
E.L James owns this amazing trilogy
Chapter 1: The Death Sentence
"To love is to be vulnerable" – C.S Lewis
I sat on my chair stealing sideward glances at the man sitting beside me as we finished our meal. To him, he is my Dom, I his submissive; but to me, he is mine and I am his. There is nothing I won't do for him; nothing I won't do for the love I feel for him. I would give him anything, happily do anything for him. He wanted me from the very beginning. I still feel horrible recounting the day that I clumsily stumbled into his office on behalf of Kate, my best friend. But looking back, it is when my life truly started: the day I met him. I have been his for the past six months and seven days now; he has been mine all the same. He is my first on everything, he's my teacher, sexual teacher as he likes to say, but to me he's my lover. To him, what we do is fuck, hard and kinky. But for me, it's nothing but sweet love.
Anyone in his world would call the pain of a cane or the sting ofa belt some sort of punishment for rules that were broken; for defying the master. Normal people will probably call it harsh, unnecessary and inhumane. I call it love. Like I said, I'd do anything for my love, my sweet fifty, even though deep down, my brain is telling me this is pure stupidity, this blind love has to stop. My heart however, my heart is on my side, urging me to go on. He feels it too, I know it. He doesn't know how to love, this is all he knows, so I am more than willing to give it to him. A relationship is all about compromise, right? It's plain and simple: follow his rules and he won't hurt you, like a game no, like school, like life. I'm a good girl, I rarely get punished. He only ever does it when he finds out about me spending time with my male friends. If Ethan and Jose would visit or if some guys in the office would try to talk to me, I would be punished. He's jealous, it's natural and though part of me knows that – it hurts that I have to abandon my friends. They've been my friends since college, but they will understand. We do anything for the ones we love to keep them happy, right? I'd sacrifice anything for this man, my man.
The flip side of the coin is his generosity and sweetness. If I pleased him, like tonight, he always rewards me with gifts, expensive gifts that I've learned to accept. My favorite is are sweet and tender moments like this, or when he would smile ormy favorite reward of them all, when he would sleep with me, in my room. My dream is to get to sleep with him in his room like we did my first time; the night we first made love. I wish it could be like that every night until, I don't know forever? He told me that it would never happen again, but deep down I know someday it will; once I manage to bring him out of the darkness and into the light. I feel his hands on top of mine and smile.
"You may look at me Ana" he said
"Thank you, Sir" I said, as I looked at his now smiling facetenderly
"You did so well tonight" he said leaning in and nuzzling my neck. I lasted a record five hours in the playroom without passing out. I took his toys gamely and did not make a sound or come until he told me I was allowed. I managed to control my emotions and take all the pleasure, something that rarely happens, but I think I've got it now, finally.
"And for that, you will be rewarded, dance with me Ms. Steele" he finished as he stood up, took a remote from his pocket andstarted the music.
"With pleasure" I said mesmerized, as I stood up and followed him. I wrapped my hands around his neck and he placed his strong hands around my waist as we started to move. I can't help but smile as he dipped me and then kissed my chest. How I love his playful side, it's adorable and infectious.
"Penny for your thoughts, Ms. Steele?" He said
"Your playful tonight, Sir" I said unable to stop myself from giggling. "I like your playful side."
"Do you know?" He responded dryly unable to contain a smirk
"Yes Sir, I love it when Sir is playful. I-" I said contemplating on whether or not I should tell him, unsure of his reaction. I have a feeling he won't like it, but I know that he knows. What do I do? Lie? He hates it when I lie, he would know that I'm lying, he can easily read my like a book, he will be displeased and he will most likely punish me. What do I do?
"What is it?" He said, his tone immediately becoming the Dom
Answer him, he doesn't like to repeat himself. The truth, tell him the truth I thought frantically. I closed my eyes and heard myself say the words "I love you" not knowing what his reaction was going to be
It felt like I was waiting for a verdict; my final verdict. He froze, not saying a word. He just looked like he was trying to digest what I just said. Like those words were alien, unfamiliar. He continued to look at me, and I watched and waited. I watched his reaction, his face, his beautiful face and waited for something, anything. His frozen face immediately morphed into one of understanding, then fury. In that moment I knew; he didn't need to say the words, I already knew the verdict. I lowered my head in defeat as he finally uttered the word
My head snapped at the word "but Chris-" I began but he just glared as he cut my words
"Playroom, now" he said snarling the words. Hurt and completely disappointed, I turn around and walked, almost ran towards the playroom. My tears were almost blinding me, but I instantly wiped them away as the submissive in me took over. Irealized that not only was I being sentenced to pain, but I was almost certain that this was also the beginning of the end of me.
Missy's NOTE: This was inspired by a movie-musical. If you read my notes on ADoS; you'll see that I mentioned writing this story after watching that movie. Hope you like it (even though it's not a happy story) and as always, your reviews and input is always appreciated. Please forgive my errors.
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