Hi! This is my first Edward-Bella story. I wasn't sure whether to put it in 'Drama' or 'Humour', but hopefully there will be more of humour than drama!

SM still owns all things 'Twilight', just in case somebody didn't know…

Not beta'd, but any volunteers would be welcome!



Warmth. Softness. A weight resting between my breasts. My fingers twined up in silken strands of hair.

It was bliss. It was exactly what I had been planning for since I set my eyes on him. Jasper, the golden-haired Adonis, the youngest son of my father's best friend. He had been flirting with me since I came back from school, but never saying the three words I wanted to hear from him. Well, that was about to change. Once my father saw me in Jasper's bed, he would have to declare his feelings for me and propose—fast. Anything else and he would be staring down the sleek barrel of Charlie's favourite Beretta Elite.

There was a loud knock on the door. I smiled to myself but kept my eyes shut. Rose was there. I had no idea what time it was, but the plan was for her to help my father 'accidently' discover me before Jasper woke up. She had already informed me while smuggling me to his room the night before that he was too drunk to wake up any time before noon.

The knock was repeated, and this time it was loud enough to be termed a bang. The weight on my chest shifted a bit. Was he waking up? I opened one eye and peeked, the same time the door burst open and Charlie marched into the room, red-faced with fury.

"Bella," he thundered , moustache wobbling dangerously. I sat up with such haste that Jasper rolled off of me, almost falling on the floor. His arms and legs flailed around, and the blanket that he had been hidden inside fell off, revealing a head full of wild, bronze-coloured hair.

Wait, what? Since when did Jasper have bronze hair?

"Edward?" Rose screeched.

"Edward?" I whispered in complete disbelief.

Charlie looked at the three of us one by one, his eyebrows knit in puzzlement.

"Were you expecting somebody else in his bed?" he barked at Rose and me.

Both of us shook our heads frantically. I was in enough hot water already. I did not need to explain to my father why there should have been another man sitting beside me, professing his love for me and asking Charlie for my hand.

"Edward?" Charlie's tone was much softer this time, almost as if he was addressing a child. Well, he wasn't exactly wrong…Since his accident a couple of years ago, Edward had been behaving pretty much like a child, or at most like an extremely simple-minded adult. As far as I knew he spent all his time drawing and sketching, and playing games on his computer. The doctor had presented his parents—Carlisle and Esme—with a very complicated tongue-twister of a name to describe his medical condition. Jasper just called him retarded, which I agreed with completely.

Edward, who had finally got his arms disentangled from the blanket and was blinking sleepily at us, beamed at Charlie.

"Uncle Charlie, I slept with Bella last night!"

Charlie's jaw hit the floor.

"What—Isabella—what is this boy saying? You—how could you?"

"No, Dad, of course I did not! I mean, I was here, but— "

I looked at Rose for some help, but she seemed to be stuck on the mute button, her eyes wide as saucers. I gave Edward a stern, do-not-lie-to-me-little-boy look.

"Edward, we did not sleep together last night. Why are you saying that?"

"We did Bella," he reaffirmed, nodding emphatically. "When I went to bed you were not there, but I woke up in the night to go to the bathroom, and you were asleep right here." He patted the bed, grinning like a monkey. "I liked sleeping with you Bella. It means I am grown up now, because Mommy told me only grown-ups sleep together. Will you sleep with me tonight also?"

"Bella," Charlie said slowly, the wheels in his mind turning almost visibly. "Did you enter this room deliberately, saw Edward asleep and still chose to sleep in the same bed? Did you—" His voice dropped almost to a whisper, "—touch him? At all?"

Even Rose looked disgusted at this question.

"Yes Uncle Charlie, Bella touched me," Edward piped up, blessedly unaware of the effect his words were having on everybody. Evidently he could hear Charlie's whisper as well as the rest of us. To drive the last nail into the coffin, he flung aside the blanket completely, revealing a pair of blue boxers with the picture of an X-box controller on them, accompanied by the words 'Wanna play?'

"See? You touched me here and here." He pointed to his chest and back. "I touched you too. Your boobs are so soft!"

Charlie paled a little on hearing about my boobs.

"Do you like him that much, Bella? You know he is—"

He seemed to be having difficulty in finding a word that would not be offensive to Rose. However, Esme's appearance at the door saved him from having to think too much.


Edward jumped up from the bed and ran to Esme, hugging her as if he had not seen her for years.

"Mom, I slept with Bella last night, just like you and Daddy."

Esme stared at me, wild-eyed. Although I was still wearing my dress from the party, I suddenly felt naked. All I could do was to shake my head in a silent 'no'.

"Um, sweetie," she tried to reason with Edward, "that is not possible. Daddy and I are married, but you are not. You must be mistaken."

Charlie looked grave. "Apparently Bella here has taken a fancy to him. It seems she sneaked into his room after the party last evening and…spent the night with him. I don't know what to say."

Edward seemed to be working out a problem in his head. Suddenly he nodded and smiled.

"Mom, Bella and I should get married!"

End note: So, any comments? And I promise, I am not making fun of people suffering from memory loss or anything. Bear with me and all will be explained.

More background will be given in the next chapter. I plan to update frequently, keeping the chapters short.