I am slowly working my way through requests made by you. If you've made a request, please be patient, I'm getting to you, I promise! This is a sequel to Third Wheel that Daiyu Amaya requested. This story takes place after Sam goes through detox for the first time. It explores what happens if he had been broken and stayed in the Panic Room instead of running away when Castiel opened the door.
The usual disclaimer, I don't own the toys I'm playing with. That privilege belongs to Eric Kripke.
Reviews make me grow as a writer, please let me know what you think. Thanks!
Low Man on the Totem Pole
He felt the lessening of the bonds as the handcuffs were unlocked. He heard the door creak open but there was no one there. He learned his lesson, though. No going anywhere without the express wishes or commands of his betters, of those who rank above him in the pack. Even though every cell in his body screamed to get out of that room, he stayed still on the cot, never moving a muscle. He could sense the higher ranked pack members, especially the alpha, above him. He could also sense another higher ranked member close by but that one was just an honorary pack member, not one to listen to unless the alpha backed him up. So he stayed in that room, on his back in a gesture of submission, baring his stomach and throat. Only when his alpha came to get him would he even move.
After all the torture his mind had him go through, after what not-Dean had said to him, Sam finally knew his worth in this world. It was like his sixteen year old mind-set came back with a vengeance, 10,000% stronger than what it had been before. Last time, Bobby was able to bring his humanity back along with giving him a family for the next two years. His family was only broken when he had wanted to go to Stanford and his dad threw him out. Sam had had his brother, albeit distantly but he knew that Dean had agreed with their father that Sam was turning his back on the family and being selfish. Then, when their father died, Sam felt guilty about trying to start a fight with the man. Later, his guilt turned into fear and anger after Dean told him what the last words of John had been, that if Dean couldn't save Sam, he would have to kill him. During his withdrawl, Not-Dean accused Sam of killing Mary, Jess, their father, Jim, Caleb, Joshua and him just by being alive. It was a miracle that Sam was still alive and that was due to Dean's bond with Castiel, he was told. All Sam's failures and sins ran through his mind until it shattered at the same time that his heart did. What made Sam Sam was gone and what was left was an animal intent on only surviving to the next day, the next hour, the next minute, the next second. Surviving meant submitting to the alpha and the rest of the pack who had more rank than he did, which, since he was the lowest ranking in the pack, meant everyone else.
It took a couple of hours before the other males in the pack came to check on him. The older male swore when he saw the open door but the man on the cot didn't listen to the words. It wasn't his place to comment on the words since his ranking was so low. He was only to speak or interact when told to or asked a direct question. The younger male, the alpha since the slight scent of sex was on him stronger than the older one, came over to him and asked, "What the hell did you do? How did you open these? Sam! Answer me!"
Thus asked, the male, making sure his eyes were averted, whispered, "I woke up like this. I didn't move."
"Okay then," the alpha said, not really believing the answer though it was true. "We'll leave off the handcuffs but we're locking the door again when we leave. Bobby?" the older male looked up and confirmed the male's assessment of ranking.
"We need to clean this room a bit, make it more comfortable for him," gesturing to the submitting male, "He also needs something to eat and drink. Could you get the food and water while I stay here, picking up?" The older male, Bobby, nodded. "Okay, when you get back, I'll go get the mop, sponge and a bucket of water to finish cleaning this place. Thanks, Bobby."
"No problem, boy. Just keep an eye on him. Don't know if he'll get violent or have more hallucinations. You may have to tie him down again," Bobby said wisely.
"I know," Dean responded. The younger male didn't react as they spoke above him. They weren't speaking to him so he didn't pay any attention to the words. While he waited for the alpha's attention, he thought about the alpha's reaction towards the female who had been his constant companion for a while. At first, he really didn't understand why the alpha was upset. He never betrayed the alpha by going with a female when the other male had been thought to be gone forever. Now, thinking about it, he realized he should have submitted and let the alpha take the female or drive her away, whatever was the whim at the time. Only the alpha took the females and bred with them. The younger male committed a sin by having the audacity to breed with any female. The one who had burned, Jess, and the one he killed, Madison, were prime examples of his status. Both of the females had died because of him. Now that he thought about it, Sarah probably was dead also. Maybe not, since they drove away from her, never to see her or his whelps, if any, by her. She was not a threat to the pack seniority.
The male listened as the alpha cleaned up the room, never moving since he wasn't given permission. When the alpha came over and told him to get up so the cot could be cleaned off, the male kept his head ducked as he scurried under the desk, keeping his eyes on the floor in a submissive pose. The alpha watched him (worriedly, on Dean's part) then turned back to his task. While he was finishing changing the linen on the cot, the older male came in with food and water. He put it on the desk and stepped back but the young male wasn't fooled. Alphas and higher ranking members always ate first. That was how it should be since the survival of the higher ranked members was more important that the lower ranked ones.
The alpha left the room, carrying garbage and dirty linen with him while the older male watched the submissive male. If that male had looked up, he would have seen worry and fear in the eyes of the older one. Bobby, as the alpha called him, moved back to the desk and picked the plate up that held a sandwich. He put the plate down on the floor and backed up again, waiting for the younger male to eat. Again, he wasn't fooled. He could hear the alpha coming back and smelled his scent as he came closer. The young one jammed himself tighter under the desk.
When Dean came back into the room, he noticed Bobby standing by the desk, the only other piece of furniture in the room, staring under it. Putting the broom, mop and bucket with hot, soapy water, down he walked over to the older Hunter. "Bobby?" he asked gesturing towards the desk.
"I don't know Dean. I put the sandwich on the top at first but Sam never came out for it. So I put it on the floor and he just went deeper under the damn thing. There's something wrong here," Bobby explained.
Dean gave an irritated huff. He was getting tired of Sam's theatrics. He knew his brother was sorry but this was getting to be ridiculous. "Sam, get out here and eat the damned sandwich. You're worrying Bobby." The last he said with a scowl. The younger male heard the order and slowly left his sanctuary. He was also told to eat but he knew that pack laws state the lowest pack members ate the least amount if times were flush, nothing if times were lean. Usually, lower ranked members would get like a bite or two before the higher ranked members chased them away. The male picked up half the sandwich and took a very small bite. Chewing, he put the sandwich down and moved away so the alpha could eat his fill.
"Boy, you gotta be hungrier than that," Bobby said. "Eat, son. Please."
The male just stood there with his eyes on the ground until he heard his alpha order, "Sam, eat everything on that plate then drink your water." The male went back to the plate and began to eat again, slowly and with small bites just in case the alpha changed his mind. For the next hour, the two men watched their youngest family member eat one sandwich. When he was finished, he drank the water, using small sips. Something about his actions bothered Bobby. He didn't remember where he had seen actions similar to the ones Sam was now exhibiting but they were very familiar.
Dean also watched Sam's unusual behavior. The hesitant way he picked the sandwich up made Dean very uneasy, as if he had seen something like that before then the words from a younger Sam echoed in his head, "Family eats first. If there is anything left, then I'll eat, sir." Dean's heart began to hitch as he remembered how his baby brother hadn't believed that he was part of the Winchester family since Dean and John had formed their own club, forgetting that Sam needed to be part of them always. It took Bobby months to put them back together as a family but all his hard work was shattered the day that Sam told them about Stanford. Sam wasn't the one to close the door in their faces, oh no. It was John who slammed that particular door on his youngest by telling him that if he left, if he walked out of that door to stay gone. He was no longer part of the family. John and Sam never did fix that tiny problem. When Sam went to Stanford, John would look in on him every so often but never went to see him. Dean had asked John about that but all his father said was that he just wanted to make sure that Sam was keeping himself safe. That was all. After John disappeared, Dean went to get Sam to help look for him but Sam was resistant at first. It all had to do with a girl, Jessica, Dean figured but never voiced. Jess had given Sam the family he had missed and craved so it was a double tragedy when she was killed.
Madison also gave Sam a taste of family but she was a newly made werewolf when they had met her and Sam had killed her after telling her what was going on. Madison tried to make it easy for him by asking for his mercy and the bullet but Dean could tell that his brother was once again devastated. When they finally found John, their father fell back on his habit of pushing Sam to the outer limits of their family but he was surprised when Sam pushed back and Dean supported his brother. John, though, didn't understand why Dean was going against the norm and kept Sam at arms' length. It wasn't until right before John had died, when he sent his youngest out of the room so he could talk to Dean that his oldest child figured out why John acted the way he did towards Sam.
John viewed Sam as Supernatural, like a werewolf or vampire, someone who didn't ask for the curse but was cursed all the same. Because Sam was his son, John still felt love towards him but just didn't want to get too close in case he had to kill the boy. He had tried to isolate Sam from both himself and Dean but that didn't really work out so he gave Dean his last orders before he died. Because of those orders, Dean also, unconsciously, tried to distance himself from the brother he loved deeply but he just couldn't, especially when Bobby was there telling him to get his ass out of his head. Then there came the whole dying to save Sam where Dean went to Hell. Ruby just glided into Dean's spot and also gave something to Sam that he craved, family. Someone who was sympathetic to his pain, someone who gave the young Hunter hope and Dean, when he got back from Hell, was too blind to see that.
Dean knew what Hell was like, what Sam would go through if he went darkside so Dean became his father to prevent that sad scenario but, like John, he too pushed Sam away. He should have been more sympathetic towards his younger brother but he had forgotten, in his fear, what it was like when Sam was dead. He had forgotten that Sam had not only endured Dean being in Hell for four months, but also the Tuesdays that the Trickster had killed Dean over and over then the Wednesday where Dean was killed and left dead for six months. All of these incidents helped to drive Sam to where he was now. The cold turkey for the Demon blood was actually just a catalyst to the breakdown, Dean saw now.
It also didn't help Sam's mental health that the Angels also viewed him as an abomination. Uriel had actually came out and told Sam that he was on thin ice and when he became a liability, then Uriel would happily smite him. This crushed Sam since he had faith in God and prayed every day. To find out that Heaven hated him, wanted him dead, was one blow too many so is it any wonder that Sam fled into the deepest parts of his mind? No, Dean's own mind answered him.
While Dean was watching his brother, Bobby finally realized where he had seen the type of behavior that Sam was showing. It was pack mentality, one based on the privileges of higher ranked animals. After he figured out what was going on in Sam's mind, Bobby then figured out that Sam viewed himself as the lowest ranked animal, something that had happened when Sam was sixteen but Bobby never really understood what was going on until now. Bobby chanced a glance at Dean and saw his foster son had also figured out what had happened. He knew that there was not going to be a quick patch job on this bleeding wound that Sam had and he really wondered how they were going to fix him this time.
Ruby paced the floor, waiting for Sam to call. If all had gone to plan, Sam was to have escaped the Salvage Yard, hotwired a car and found a motel room where he was to call her from. She would have gone to him with fake sympathy plastered on her face and, after he did some crying and begging, she would let him feed off her. Zachariah had it set up where Dean was to find them and have one big fight with his brother which would drive Sam away from Dean and into Ruby's waiting arms. From there, they would find Lilith's cook, drain her of her blood and then go to the waiting Lilith for the final seal. It all had to be done at a certain place and at a certain time which was approaching very fast. If they didn't complete the task then, they would have to wait another thousand years for the next attempt. Some of the Angels just weren't that patient anymore.
After pacing some more, Ruby came to a decision, one that could bring the wrath of Heaven down on her head. Getting out a map of Sioux Falls, she did the same locator spell that she had done to find Dean for Sam. After chanting the spell, she waited as the map burst into flames. It advanced to the location where Sam was then went out. Ruby picked up the piece of map and was confused. The map showed Singer Salvage as the place where Sam, the key to the last seal, was at. She didn't understand why Sam was still there after Zachariah had assured her that the young Winchester would be set free and would seek her out. Something had happened to throw off the schedule and Ruby was getting uneasy. Picking up a knife and a bowl, she went in search of a victim. She had a phone call to make.
The girl was homeless and looked prettier to Ruby with the new "smile" on her, the slash from ear to ear which caused her to bleed out into the bowl. Chanting over it and stirring the blood with her finger, Ruby waited until she got an answer. "Sam Winchester never left Sioux Falls," she said. "Did they catch him trying to leave?" The blood was still for a moment then it bubbled with anger. "No, huh? What happened, then? We need to prime him soon. I found Lilith's chef and got her stored for Sam's drinking pleasure but I won't be able to keep her for long." The blood seemed to simmer. "Okay, I'll wait to hear from you but remember, the time is coming that the seal needs to be broken. If we miss the timeline…" The blood splashed as if very angry. "Hey, don't yell at me. You know the timeline as well as I do. I'm going back to the motel room, let me know if there are any changes or anything I can do." The blood calmed down with just tiny ripples then it stilled. Ruby muttered to herself as she dumped the bowl, "Yeah, goodbye to you too, asshole." She turned her back on the homeless girl and left the area.
I know you are going to point out the glaring fact that Bobby is family to Sam and Dean but you have to remember how Sam felt. At that point in his life, he was so immersed in grief for his brother that he wasn't thinking very straight. He would have forgotten about Bobby being part of his family. This was evident in the show when Bobby said that Sam had stuck around for a short while then disappeared. Grief does weird things to one's thinking processes. Sometimes it doesn't allow us to see what is in front of our noses.