**I was in a writing mood but could not find something relevant to write about so I came up with something by taking a look at some of those sneak peak photos I've seen in which Emma manages to go back in time to Storybrooke or something. Honestly I'm not sure exactly what is happening there but I took what I saw from those images and made a story. I don't think I really have any spoilers in this. Nothing too "fantastical" just conversation. You'll need a lot of imagination for this I'm thinking. We'll see... )**
Every Now and Then
Snow was having a hard time sleeping so she sat up in bed and glanced over at Charming who was still sound asleep. It seemed that he could sleep through anything really. In fact he fell asleep mid conversation this very night. He was just about as good at sharing his thoughts as Emma was.
That thought sent Snow in a new direction. There were so many things that surprised her about her daughter. The things she started to notice about Emma were mostly things she had overlooked before. There were those similarities between herself and Emma. There were also the similarities between Charming and Emma. There were just so many small things that would present themselves at random times in the course of the last few months and weeks.
Her thoughts are soon interrupted by a shuffle in the kitchen. She got up quietly and stood in the entrance of her bedroom to try to make out the figure standing in the kitchen.
The light hanging low over the sink lit up the space enough for her to make out that it was Emma standing there with her hands gripping the edge of the kitchen sink staring down into it. She watched as Emma brings a hand up to her own face. It wasn't until she heard a labored breath escape her lips that she noticed she was in fact wiping away tears. Emma then moved a hand to cover her eyes as she stood in place quietly sobbing.
Snow stood there completely taken aback. She had only seen Emma nearly this broken back in the other world. Too see her crying in the kitchen now where she thought she might be alone was quite heartbreaking. She couldn't very well leave her alone but she didn't want to startle her either so she whispers her name from the spot she had been watching her from, "Emma?"
Slowly Emma raises her head and sighs realizing she had been caught crying. She sniffles a bit but doesn't turn to face Snow. Instead she turns her head in the opposite direction to whisper, "Did I wake you?"
"No. I couldn't sleep." She waits for Emma to react but she does not. "Emma..." She quietly calls out before she takes a few steps closer.
"No... don't..." Emma says in a whisper while shaking her head still facing away from Snow. "I'm fine just please... don't." She puts out a hand in quiet warning.
"Alright, I'm sorry." Snow whispers politely. "I'll leave you alone." she says sadly before turning to walk away.
Emma turns suddenly and hurriedly offers, "No wait. I just meant... I need a minute. I don't want to cry anymore. Don't go. I just... I meant don't touch me because I know I'll just start crying all over again." She offers with a nervous laugh.
Snow nods in understanding before she quietly offers, "Do you want some hot chocolate?"
"Sure." Emma nods and smiles despite the tears she still hasn't managed to wipe away.
Snow starts to move around the kitchen chancing a glance at Emma who is walking away to sit at the kitchen table. She busies herself with the hot chocolate knowing Emma is wanting to compose herself before offering any sort of explanation but then again maybe Snow didn't really need one.
She walks over to Emma with both mugs in hand and offers one to her, "You wanna sit on the couch with me a while?"
Emma nods taking the mug offered to her before following Snow to the couch in the corner of the apartment.
They sit quietly for some time before Snow gives Emma a look over. She can see now that Emma wants to say something but can't seem to form the words so she decides to speak first to offer her some reassurance. "You don't have to tell me why you were crying. I know at times things can get overwhelming..."
Emma cuts her off. "No. I want to tell you... but I'm sick of crying about it. I don't even know how I started it up. I feel so... silly." She laughs at herself expressing her embarrassment.
"It's not silly. Crying... crying is for healing. When something is hurting you, you cry, and eventually it passes. Even the heart of a woman with the strongest of will can be made fragile at times." She offers with a smile.
"How do you do that?" Emma whispers looking over at Snow, "How do you know just what to say to me?" She asks with a small smile which causes Snow's face to take on a glow.
Snow can see an innocence she had never before seen on Emma's face. She can see her own child before her now. Snow in return simply offers a shrug and a smile as a response.
Emma takes a deep breath and let's it out in a sigh mentally preparing herself to speak. "I was upset because... when Henry and I were able to go back in time to Storybrooke in those first few days of the curse I thought to myself, "I could change things right now. I could fix this all right now. I could make this all go away if I really wanted to."... but then I never would have had Henry. I never would have come to Storybrooke. I never would have met Mary Margaret. I never would have found you... not in the way I needed to."
Snow turns to look over Emma's face, searching for the meaning behind all of this, trying to process what is really being revealed to her here.
"I met Mary Margaret and she changed a lot for me and now she's... she's you. You made it easier to trust. I think that's what started me on this path and eventually got me believing. I would not have met you if I had changed all of that. I'm so mad... that the whole time I had this magic inside of me fighting to get out and it's just..." She sighs in frustration. "It's hard to figure out what to do with it. I mean I could let it sit idle. I could even use it to try to change things. I could use it to change my past, my present, or my future... but then I'd lose everything I have now wouldn't I?" She growls angrily and touches closed fists to her eyes in an attempt to hold in the tears that threaten to fall now. "It's really... not... fair." She says in another growl. "I am so... so sick of crying over this."
Snow reaches to grasp at the wrists of those fisted hands, "Emma..." She whispers but Emma does not budge. "Emma..." She repeats before tugging at those hands.
"No..." Emma quietly protests but soon enough she breaks down and quietly sobs. Snow finally manages to pull those hands away from her face and wraps Emma up in her arms rubbing her back soothingly. She doesn't say anything at all. She simply rocks her gently letting her cry. She does not cry out loud, she only jerks in Snow's arms as she sobs, allowing herself to momentarily fall to pieces in her mother's arms.
A few tears manage to fall from Snow's eyes as well. This was new to her. When she had lived as Mary Margaret she had not ever experienced Emma in a vulnerable state like this. Sure she had seen her angry. She had seen her sad. She had seen her as a lost orphan looking for her parents and here she was now, her own daughter, falling apart at the thought of things she has no control over.
The one thing Snow does not feel in this moment is self-pity or pity at all for that matter. With her daughter in her arms she feels strong. She feels like she did back in the days she was struggling to survive in the woods of the enchanted forest. She feels capable of anything that would typically seem impossible at this point.
The truth was that it did take a certain type of strength to survive her time as a royal runaway but now she had the strength of being a mother and that can blow anything else clear out of the water.
She reaches up to wipe her own tears away needing to appear strong for Emma now. She could feel Emma settling down, her breathing back to normal, her sniffles fading off. She ran a comforting hand through that long golden hair and simply waited. She waited on Emma to decide what should happen next because pushing never really got them anywhere, not back when she was Mary Margaret.
She feels Emma pull back and she herself pulls away to give her daughter some space. She watches the expression on Emma's face. It's no longer a sad expression and there is no sign of defeat. No, there is simply a solemn expression that appears before her. Emma now sets her gaze on Snow's chin simply staring. She does this for a few minutes longer, stares, as if she is stuck in a day dream and then those eyes flutter up to her own. She simply offers a warm smile.
"I'm sorry." Emma suddenly says.
"For what?" Snow asks with a furrowed brow.
"For falling apart." Emma says staring at her chin again.
"Why are you sorry about that? I'm not." She offers assuredly. "I told you… crying is for healing. Emma, in all this time that I have known you, you know, as Mary Margaret… I don't think you ever tried to heal that way. You needed this. Every woman needs a good cry every now and then. It keeps us all sane. If you can't cry with me then I must be doing a terrible job of, not just being your mother, but also being your friend." She laughs. "So… I'm not sorry." She says with a bright smile and a signature Snow nod. She watches as one corner of Emma's mouth turns up in a small smile.
"That must be how you know what to say to me." Emma says quietly.
"What?" Snow asks thrown by this comment.
"It's because you're my mother… mothers always know just what to say don't they? I'm still trying to get used to that." She says with a pained grimace and a slight shrug.
She smiles at this and watches again as Emma's eyes move to stare at her chin. "That must be it." She says before addressing the stare, "... and we've already established that you have my chin so you can stop staring." She chuckles as she reaches out to pinch at Emma's chin and gaze in to those blue eyes. "It's scary how much of me is in you."
Emma scoffs playfully pulling away to wipe the tears off her cheek with the back of her hand, "There is not an ounce of Snow White in me."
"Oh my sweet , stubborn, Emma… if you only knew." She says with another low chuckle. She puts an arm around Emma's shoulder drawing her closer and puts a hand to her head to get her to rest on her shoulder.
**... but you know... Emma is right. I don't think there's much Snow White in her other than being stubborn, passionate, and impulsive. So far Snow White HASN'T been one to cower and hide her tears. Emma is the one who has been insecure about that. Oh well... I might have missed the mark there. Ha Ha! :) Thanks for reading.**