/AN: So, I know that this fic is complete, but I'll add one more chapter to clarify something I've gotten a lot of questions about.
Yes, I'm okay. (Thank you, Sophie, for asking! :) ) And yes, I do struggle with self harm. Writing this was a way of expressing what I was feeling and coping with it.
I'm getting better. The end chapter was an attempt at creating a turning point for myself, hopefully so that I would actually start to believe that things do get better. It didn't work like I'd hoped.
Your comments, and messages, telling me about how Cracks In The Ice touched your hearts, about how some of you are trying to stop now (and some of you because of me), about how some of you have quit - those are what helped. Every time I get a good response to this, I cry because it makes me happy to know that you guys like it that much.
And now I roleplay as Jack, my Jack, on tumblr, and it's helped me sort through my feelings as well and I'm quite happy to say that I am two months clean.
Things are still hard for me, but I'm feeling less worthless and more in control every day. I still slip, and some days are just horrible and I cry a whole lot, but overall it's better. And now I can say for sure that it really does get better and even though trying to wait it out seems impossible, it can be done.
I never thought I could be strong enough to come out of it. I always thought I'd kill myself before I reached adulthood. And yes, I still do sometimes have to force myself out of suicidal or harmful thoughts, but those moments come fewer and fewer and it's because of all of you.
This got away from me and I forgot my point...I think I was trying to be encouraging. Oh, well. There isn't any need to worry about me. I'm fine. Better than I was. So thank you. All of you./