There is a dark, dangerous world and I am a part of its seedy underbelly.

I'm not ashamed, nor am I one to advertise my participation. But there are people around me who know what I do.

There are others. And they are just like me. Though I doubt the validity of some of their motives, they do share one basic component of their emotional makeup with me.

They, too, are incapable of emotional response.

They, too, like me, prefer the company of faceless women.

And, like me, when the door closes at the end of the evening I give those women no further thought.

Have no doubt, though, that while I am with them they are treated with the utmost respect. But when I no longer need them – their company, their bodies, their minds and their attention – I leave and I never return.

To you, looking at me now, I quite possibly seem heartless, broken even, but I assure you that I am not. I am whole. I have a heart - that admittedly I guard carefully - and I am capable of love.

Capable, yes. Willing to give in to its clawing nature, not so much.

Don't pity me.

It is a choice.

A lifestyle.

And it makes me happy.

At least it did.

Keep something in mind as you try to decide whether to read what I'm about to tell you?

Some bathe in the glow of others love, some in the darkness of guilt, but bathe we all do...


A/N: Thank you for reading.

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