Hey guys! This chapter one of a little round robin we did in the forum on . The names in bold before the bits are the names of the authors who did said part. Got all that? Good, enjoy!


(From the Watchtower's "Hero Hookup Dating Service" invented by Mr. Terrific)

Profile Name: Batman
Age: 42
Height: 6' 1''
Gender: Batman
Sexuality: Hetero
Weight: 280lbs
Hair: Dark
Race: Batman

I am writing this up so that Superman and J'onn will shut up. I am single, I own my own buisness, and I am a single father of five. I can not cook, I don't have a lot of free time, I am not a good conversationalist, and I am not easy to get along with. Respond at your own risk.

I've been told that I am required to write more positive things under my profile (by various individuals who shall not be named) so here goes. I am very athletic and enjoy many aspects of several different martial art disciplines, I also enjoy several different types of sports such as Basket Ball and Rugby. I am well read and in particular enjoy the works of Shakespeare, Homer, Tolkien, H.P. Lovecraft, and Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. As far as music goes I enjoy classical (particularly Beethoven), Opera, Blues, Jazz, and some Rock. I have little to no interest in television, but I do watch the Daily Planet News station and I've caught a good episode of a show called "River Monsters" and I enjoyed it.
Some of my hobbies outside of fighting crime (which I should be doing instead of typing this up) are building armored tactical vehicles, exercising, keeping up with new scientific advances, and...spending time with my children.

What I am looking for in a romantic partner:

This has taken me a bit of thought to come up with, because its not like I have a lot free time to devote to a relationship. I'd say that I would like someone who is intelligent, I'm not a patient man and I don't have the time to deal with a fool. I would like to meet someone who is composed, I like to keep things in order and it would be helpful if my partner kept themselves together well in bad situations. I believe I prefer brunets, though thats not all that important and hair color isn't going to make or break a situation. I would want to meet someone who is physically fit, I enjoy many physical activities (shut up Flash) and it would be nice to meet a woman who can keep up with me. I guess I prefer tall women, being a tall man it just makes a few things a bit easier. Any woman I get involve with would have to know discretion, there are a lot of secrets in my life and if I'm going to have a serious relationship with someone it would have to be able to keep them. Possibly the most important thing though is that I would need a woman who thinks about others before herself, given the very nature of who I am I can not stand selfishness, my personal history is littered with women like that and I believe that is the main reason those relationships fell apart.

*Edit by the Flash* Bats also prefers his women to be big boobed kinky! A kind of girl who has a hard time staying up straight and is into getting tied up! YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME BATMAN!

Number of Justice League members interested: unknown (48 hour wait period before responses show up)


(From the Watchtower's "Hero Hookup Dating Service" invented by Mr. Terrific)

Profile Name: Booster Gold aka greatest Super hero to ever live
Age: 31
Height: 6' 2''
Gender: All man
Sexuality: Hetero
Weight: 215 lbs
Hair: blond
Race: I really don't care what race she is... Wait you mean me? Oh, well lets just say that I'm a blond haired, blue eyed American.

I really don't need to write this. I mean I walk out in the streets and the girls come flocking to me. And then I have to explain that I'm not the Green Lantern, yeah right, and soon afterward they go even crazier. I'm single, have one sister who I care very deeply for. I can cook, but to be honest it's a little harder to do without an automatic kitchen, but then that's what Skeets is around for.

Some positive atributes? Well I'm fit, I was the star football player for the Gotham Knight's football team in the 25th century. I love playing Football now, just not professionally, jogging, Tae Bo (it's a serious discipline in the 25th century!), Playing some video games, and watching movies. I tend to be in the right place at the right time, and I have to admit that I'm pretty damned good looking. I enjoy spending time with my sis, and honestly anyone that hooks up with me is going to have to accept that she's a big part of my life. I am the CEO of my own business, and baby business is gooooooooooooooooood.

What I'm looking for in a romantic partner:

I like smart girls. I'm not kidding I really like smart, sexy, glasses wearing, scientist looking girls who are into doing a little biology practice ;). I don't mind if a girl is brunette, red head, blond, or if she has some really weird color like green, purple, or blue. I don't mind chicks with white hair, but I don't like a lot of extra baggage... like that chick still being hung up on an ex green lantern. I also want to say that I'm man enough to admit that I could handle two girls. We're all adults here, and lets face it we're putting our lives on the line each time we step out, so getting with one or two people at a time is my way of saying I understand. Ummmm... That said... I'm not really in the whole cross dimension thing, because it's hard as hell to keep up any kind of relationship when there's no clear way of seeing each other except for having Access teleport one of us across to the other. Not saying that the girl's from that other dimension aren't cute, because yeah, but really I don't think that I would want to wait a few months to prove what kind of awesome package I am.

I guess that's really it, so ladies, look, see, and pick a clear winner, pick Booster Gold!


(From the Watchtower's "Hero Hookup Dating Service" invented by Mr. Terrific)

Profile Name: Lobo aka The Main Man
Age: I don't die babe!
Height: 6' 3'', 6' 6" if ya count the hair!
Gender: Main Man
Sexuality: Yes I am
Weight: 500 lbs of pure awesome
Hair: sepulcher black
Race: Czarnian and last one baby! Ya won't find anyone else like me! (I fragged my planet for a project; gave myself an A plus).
Profession: Best Bounty Hunter in the fraggin' cosmos! Also the Justice Dweebs recruited me to replace Supes at one point. Had to decline though. It was too easy.

I don't even know why ya readin' this, cuz I'm sure ya all heard of me, and if ya haven't, well I'm gonna frag your ass to Neptune ya Geek! But just to remind ya how awesome the Main Man is, I'll try to say a few things.

I'm the best there is! I can capture anything and bring it in, for a price of course! I'm also a man of my word. When I say I'll do something, I'll do it!

Things Lobo likes:

The Main Man loves some good ol' fashion fun! Ya know, gettin' into fights, killin', shootin' then killin', killin' then shootin', disembowlin' the usual. I also enjoy ridin' on my beloved Space Bike the Hog. Ladies, if ya play ya cards right, ya might win a trip to see the stars with me on the Hog! Keep that in mind.

But don't get me wrong! I got a sensitive side as well! I love space dolphins! Ya know, the cute little creatures that are endangered? I once hung a geek by his thumbs for wearin' space dolphin boots! I have no shame in admitting that I brake for space dolphins. I gotta tatoo of it that I can show ya when we're done here! I like sticking up for the little guy! That's what I'm all about.

Things Lobo doesn't like: Gas, mosquitos, space dolphin killers.

More about Lobo: I have been told by some alien that collected species that he woulda like to put me on display because of my cute smile! Had to decline of course though. Ladies have often confused me with Superman when we're in bed, which I don't mind. I figure it'd help Supes reputation if ya get what I'm sayin'. I have been called a sociopath by alotta people which I take great pride in.

What I'm looking for in a romantic partner:

I like a dame that likes to play it rough. I don't care how rough, the sky's the limit babe. I can take it. As long as there is no gas involve, I'm down for anything! And ladies, I don't care if ya single or not. The Main Man does not judge. As long as ya got the looks babe, that's all we need to get it off!


(From the Watchtower's "Hero Hookup Dating Service" invented by Mr. Terrific)

Profile name: Hawkgirl
Age: Yeah right
Height: 5'8" with a 10 ft wingspan
Gender: I'm not a girl, I'm a woman
Sexuality: Non-existent at the moment
Weight: 130lbs (I swear the wings add 10 lbs)
Hair: Fiery redhead
Race: Badass Thanagarian

Let's cut the crap and get straight down to business. I've never participated in something like this before, and it's not as if I really need to. I mean, it's not like I'm posting this out of some desire to make a certain Green Lantern jealous, wanting him to see it and realize his current relationship is going absolutely nowhere, then come begging me to take him back while professing his undying love. No, I'm above playing petty games like that. I'm doing this solely for myself, because I genuinely want to find that special someone and move on with my life. Yeah, that's right - Move On With My Life. As in not be available anymore because I will be with someone else. Think about it.

This stupid form won't let me post a picture, it says I have to include some personal information describing my positive attributes instead. Waste of damn time if you ask me, a picture is worth a thousand words after all, and if he saw the one of me in that bikini from the girl's trip to Cabo he'd…uh, never mind. Right, positive stuff. I love to watch the sunrise every morning. I thoroughly enjoy beating Batman at chess. To unwind I like to participate in bar brawls, street fights, really fighting of any kind - bring it on. I like to accessorize with an Nth metal mace. Some people say I have a temper, and I say, please, compared to most of the people running around this place, I'm virtually a pacifist. Events get blown way out of proportion around here, it's not like I'm the kind of person to just rush headlong into a situation, brandishing my mace, looking for action. Though I can't deny the thrill of battle and adrenaline rush is like a high for me. I enjoy watching UFC fights and the Kill Bill films. I'm big on working out, lifting weights, kickboxing, sparring. Zatanna tried to get me into yoga, but I kept falling asleep (it was boring as hell). I've recently discovered rugby, now there's a sport! I'm actually trying to start a rugby league for superheroes. We could definitely use a healthy outlet for our aggression, pummeling bad guys only goes so far, and Batman's getting angry about the destruction of the robots in the training room. I don't get him, it's not like it's my fault he buys the cheap stuff that can't hold up against a real hit :roll:

What I'm looking for in a romantic partner:

I'm not picky, and looks don't really matter to me. I would like someone who shares similar interests and passions, can handle my busy lifestyle, and isn't needy or controlling. Someone who can hang with me and just be cool. No drama, I've had enough of that in my life lately. And no creepy stalkers claiming to be my reincarnated lover from ancient times. What a line, he's lucky I didn't decide to knock some sense into him. I guess that's about it, though I should stress that I am definitely moving on with my life. So if a certain someone is interested, that ship hasn't sailed yet, but it's starting to leave the dock. I'm not just gonna wait around forever, if you want me you had better come and get me. This is your last chance. I'll be in the training room for the rest of the afternoon, finishing off the robots.

Note: If anyone is interested in joining the Justice Rugby League, sign-up forms have been posted in the cafeteria.


(From the Watchtower's "Hero Hookup Dating Service" invented by Mr. Terrific)

Profile Name: Doctor "Lady" Light (I'm the hero, not the rapist)
Age: Mid Thirties
Height: 5'9''
Gender: Female
Sexuality: Hetero
Weight: Not important
Hair: Black
Race: Japanese

When not working as a hero I am a scientist, an astronomer to be exact, and a single mother of two. I am bilingual and am capable of speaking and reading both Japanese and English fluently, though I will admit that I have been known to mispronounce my L's in times of stress. While I do not have a vast amount of free time (hero and mother after all) I would like to find someone to spend my nights with. I enjoy reading (especially science fiction novels and manga), classical and electronic music, retro video games, and puzzles of all kinds. While I wouldn't call myself a martial artist I am more than capable of defending myself, and I keep myself physically active with hero work, motherhood, and yoga.

What I am looking for in a romantic partner:

While my family is the most important thing in my life, and my work comes in at two after that, I believe I deserve a man as well. Maybe not something serious at first, the time restraints being a problem, but casual and exclusive with the possibility for something more is what I want. I would like a man who is intelligent, knowledgeable (not always the same thing), good with children, economically self sufficient, and patient. I am attracted to men that are tall, in good shape (muscles on men are just a very good thing), have strong jaws, and good teeth. I am also looking for men with a bit of experience, so more men in my age group or above than below. Also large hands are a good thing.

*Something I think I probably should note, though I don't intend to turn anyone down out of hand, the reason I decided to set up this profile is because Batman has set up one. ;)

Number of League Members interested: 8


(From the Watchtower's "Hero Hookup Dating Service" invented by Mr. Terrific)

Profile Name: Queen Maxima of the Almeraican Empire
Age: mid Twenties
Height: 6'2''
Gender: Female
Sexuality: Hetero
Weight: I will not speak of such things with a machine
Hair: Red
Race: Superior to human beings

I am Queen Maxima of the Almeraican Empire and besides performing my royal duties to my people I also aid the Justice League. I find the work rewarding in a way, although I honestly do not know why humans find themselves in trouble so often. The Almeraican people are proud, strong, and resilient! Why a handful of the peasants from my world could easily overthrow many of these so called super-villains we face on a daily bases. I also do not know why we can't simply execute them on the spot and be done with it. From what the peasant here is telling me I need to speak of my redeeming qualities. Besides being a queen I am quite beautiful. It is my belief that I can have nearly any man I want. I believe myself to be quite intelligent, and if any potential mate wants to keep his genitals in tact he will believe so as well. I found that I have a love for watching professional wrestling. Something about seeing two fit, muscular, and beautiful men fighting inside of a ring is very... arousing.

My likes...

I enjoy poetry, mainly heroic epics, being catered to, told that I'm loved, being held while watching the sun set, sun bathing on a private beach, and watching people. I do enjoy reading, and since arriving to Earth I have to admit that I agree with Machiavelli's The Prince in how a ruler should act, but I have found that I enjoy reading and watching Shakespeare quite a bit more. My favorite play has been Taming the Shrew, although for the life of me I can not understand why the woman simply doesn't take something, beat the man over the head, and have her way with him. It would make quite a bit more sense.

My Dislikes

I hate being told no! I do not like rejection, and I don't like being the second woman. I am the first and only woman in any relationship. Also I dislike the idea of being second period. While I believe that any mate I acquire will be considered an equal I will not ever be under him in status. Perhaps under him in bed, but not in status. I don't like losing. Anything one does is only worthwhile if it is able to be won.

What I am seeking.

I want a man. I want a man who can keep up with me, who is genetically similar enough to give me children, and who is intelligent enough not to be a bore. I am not here for small talk, I am not here for anything other than finding a potential mate. If you want to go through your Earth customs then you have contacted the wrong woman. If you are ready to help create the heir to my throne then come see me.


"Maxima?" Batman asks.
"Hey she helps the League, and well...she seemed lonely," Mr. Terrific answers.
"There is a reason why she's alone, she's nuts," Batman explains.
Mr. Terrific raises an eyebrow. "I've never heard you refer to someone as nuts before, especially someone you thought was insane."
"She's not insane, she is just...off. And she's dangerous. Hence nuts," he clarifies.
"You know how many of the roster you've just described?" Terrific asks.
"Hmm...point taken," Batman concedes.
"Any other problems?" the super genius asks.
"Yes I believe someone may have hacked my profile, the number of responses it has are suspiciously high," he continues.
"Oh its not hacked, almost every woman who has a profile has marked you. It seems like you're quite a catch," Mr. Terrific answers.
Batman looks at him in confused shock. "...why?"
Terrific shrugs. "Women like a fixer upper?"


Maxima growled as she slammed her fist into a training bot and ripped its spine out. She watched the machine drop to the ground and then she kicked the 'corpse' across the floor and watched as it slammed into the remainders of its brethren. She walked toward the mirror and studied how she looked in the black training suit. She was fit, trim, and well endowed, so why hadn't any male came forward? Surely they weren't all taken or wanted to do that stupid ritual of dating. She was offering every man aboard the watchtower the chance to impregnate her. Surely there was some who would jump at the chance of making love to a queen.

She touched the mirror and it morphed and changed into a section of the wall again. The one called Batman constantly reminded her how she didn't need to keep changing the walls into mirrors because of structural instability within the watchtower. She disbelieved him of course and simply believed that he didn't know what he was talking about. After all he was a mere human. Granted a talented warrior, and someone she was coming to respect, but a human none the less. She stepped out and looked at the backside of Orion who was walking away from her. A slight smile crossed her lips and she followed the new god.

She stopped when she watched him meet up with another new god and the two of them kissed for a moment. Seeing that he had already chosen a mate she backed away. Still it wasn't really Orion she wanted. Originally she joined the Justice League to convince Superman that she was interested in his interests, but he had seen through her excuses. He knew she was interested in having him give her a child, and because of that she both respected and hated him. Finally she stopped when she heard someone and walked in to see the hero known as Steel working on a section of the Watchtower. She walked toward him and watched as he was feeling for a tool which was not there. She reached out with her mind and came up with the image of a wrench. She reached over and touched a trash receptacle and instantly it turned into the tool he needed and she passed it to him.

"I believe you were searching for this," she said.

"Ummmm thanks," he said before he began to go back to work.

"Tell me, the armor you wear, is it of your own design?" she asked.

"Yeah, it is actually. I made it some time ago," he answered as he worked.

The idea of having intelligent children caused her to smile again. Perhaps being intelligent along with her enhanced strength would be enough to give them the edge they needed.

"Tell me, what are you doing after you finish here?" she asked.

He lifted his head and realized who he was talking to. Like most of the men on the Watchtower he had admired Maxima, but to be honest the woman was crazy. She had made it clear that all she was seeking here was the means to an end and the end was her being with child. He tried to think of an excuse, but nothing was coming out.

"Since it is obvious that you are doing nothing then I demand your presence at dinner tonight. Eight pm, Metropolis, Le 'Cher. Do not disappoint me," she warned before she walked forward.

He waited until she was out of ear shot and pressed the comm link activating it between himself and Batman. "Batman, I have a situation," he said.


(Flash talking to John on Facebook chat)

Flash: Hey John you should check out this Watchtower Dating Service Mister T hooked up.

John: Mister T?

Flash: Mister Terrific you know because he has the big 'T' on his face and he is

John: Black?

Flash: That is not what I was going to say!

John: Then what were you going to say?

Flash: I forgot! But seriously dude you should check it out.

John: First off, I already have a girlfriend, and secondly I heard from someone there is only about six people on it. Two of them I don't even know. How did Lobo get on it as well? We kicked him out years ago.

Flash: I don't know. He invited himself. Plus I guess he considers Supes and him to be buddies.

John: Whatever Wally. It is a stupid idea. The only people on it are people no one really knows.

Flash: Batman's on it. He's getting like a gazillion hits.

John: Is gazillion even a number? And word on the street was Clark made him do it.

Flash: Why?

John: Well let's just say some people want Bruce to get a little closer to a certain Amazon.

Flash: We only have one Amazon. Wait Diana and Bruce? Really?

John: Come on kid where have you been? There has been a pool when those two are going to officially seal the deal.

Flash: Wait they like each other? When did that happen?

John: If I knew how to make a rolling of the eyes face on this stupid chat thing I would. I swear Wally you are so dense sometimes.

Flash: I'm sorry. I just don't always like to butt in on people's personal lives!

John: Sure, sure. Which is all the more reason why I am not going to check this site out. I don't care what anyone does in their personal life so they don't need to advertise it for me to see.

Flash: You know Shayera's got a profile on it.

John: What? When?

Flash: A few days ago, she is getting a few hits as well. I guess people are starting to like her again.

John: But why would she do that? That is so unlike her!

Flash: Beats me, although she did mention a lot about rugby and moving on. You should check it out.

John: Why?

Flash: Just saying. Gtg, ttl.

John: Stop it with the text lingo.

(Flash is offline. Mister Terrific is online)

John: Hey Holt!

Mister Terrific: You can call me Mister T!

John: Ok…

Mister Terrific: Just kidding man! It's the stupidest nickname ever. Booster Gold called me that the other day and I threatened to put him on Monitor Duty for a month. What's up?

John: Can you send me the link to the Dating Service Site you set up?


(From the Watchtower's "Hero Hookup Dating Service" invented by Mr. Terrific)

Profile Name: Wonder Woman (though I also go by Diana)
Age: Unimportant
Height: 5' 11"
Gender: Female
Sexuality: Hetero (sorry :) )
Weight: 140 lbs.
Hair: Black
Race: Amazon

I am writing one of these up because it looks fun. I enjoy many types of physical activities from martial arts, various sports (I am so joining that Rugby League!), yoga, gymnastics, and dancing. I am a lover of history and believe that understanding the past is the only way to prepare for the future, so I am constantly keeping up on historical finds (which a focus on Greek history of course). I do a fair amount of diplomatic and charity work, so I try and keep up on current news as best as I can also, always with an eye on how I can help out. As far as music goes I love Rock and Roll and Metal, they are gifts sent by the gods! Though I am not adverse to other forms of music like Classical, Opera, Jazz...Blues. Family is very important to me as are women's rights, though I do not consider myself a Feminist even though thats what I have been called in the past. I believe men and women should stand as equals is all.

What am I looking for in a romantic partner:

I am looking for a man with a good heart in his chest, a good brain in his head, someone who is serious...and also a bit devious. I would want someone who can keep up with me and my busy life, someone who is interested in the same things I am, and someone who is good with children as I can see myself having some one day. Now that thats out of the way lets get a bit more shameless ;) . I like tall men, tall enough to look at me in the eye when I'm wearing heels is a big plus. I like the feel of a man's muscles so someone who is in good shape would be nice. A well sculpted butt is also important, a man's ass can be a very good thing to see and feel. Also scars, scars can be very sexy on a man, particularly ones received in battle or doing some sort of good work, they show character and they can feel very nice. A deep sexy voice that can also sing isn't bad either, I find I have soft spot in my heart for baritones.

Number of Justice League Members Interested: unknown (48 hour wait period before responses show up)


Batman: "What did you do?"

Mr. Terrific: "I just added a comment section for the profiles. I thought it might be helpful for people to mention why they are interested in someone instead of just marking that they are. Whats so wrong with that?"

Batman: *Face Palm*

Mr. Terrific: "Come on its only League members, and we have some good upstanding people here, so really how bad can it get?"

Batman: *Sadly shakes head then walks way*

Mr. Terrific: "Batman...?"


(From the Watchtower's "Hero Hookup Dating Service" invented by Mr. Terrific)

Profile Name: Artemis
Age: I look twentish and we'll leave it at that.
Height: 6'2''
Gender: Female
Sexuality: Hetero I suppose
Weight: 132 without my armor.
Hair: Red
Race: A proud warrior of the Bana-Mighdall and I suppose that makes me an Amazon

I have been told that part of my fitting into this world is to expand my horizons and thus I am to put up a profile... Personally if this goes bad then I am going to inform Diana that this was a stupid idea and a waste of time. Apparently Diana and Donna have insisted that I talk about some of my better traits. I am loyal. I will follow my friends into the very pits of Tartarus, and if you have become my friend I will defend you and your honor with my last breath. I strongly believe that women do not know the extent of their own power. We are not the weaker sex. If a man had to deal with the normal pains a woman deals with he would most likely collapse into a ball of quivering flesh. During my stay here I have found that I do appreciate the male body, and slowly I've found a few who deserve my friendship. Booster Gold is not one of them. If that... pervert so much as comes within three feet of me again I swear by Isis I will ram my sword straight down his throat. What do you mean I can't put that on here? I shall because I don't want him to reply!

My likes...

While I've been here I learned quite a bit and I do enjoy fantasy novels. To be honest the Hobbit is one of my favorites and even though it is a tale about men I find myself englamered by the world described. I've picked up playing Chess and I'm quite adapt at it. I do enjoy the art of fencing but I would rather call it sword play, and I've taken quite a liking to baseball. I've heard the of the Rugby team that has started and it has peaked my interest. I also enjoy movies, but for the life of me I can not get into the Jane Austin books. The way the women are treated in them seems wrong. For example I believe the woman in Pride and Predigest should have taken a blunt object, smacked the offensive pigheaded man over the head, and claimed his goods. I suppose the movies I have enjoyed the most have been the Lord of the Rings Trilogy.

My Dislikes

I do not like being Ogled. I am not a piece of meat. I don't like to be around someone who is arrogant without just cause. The Batman has proved he has just cause, but the others here have not. One can only be arrogant when they have proven themselves. I dislike bullies. There is nothing worse than someone who takes pleasure in the pain of others.

What I am seeking.

I suppose what I am looking for is a friendship. Someone to get to know and spend free time with.


Yahoo! Instant Messenger

[Zatanna has signed in]

Zatanna: Hi Shayera :) What are you up to?

Shayera: Hey Zee, just checking emails and going over the rugby sign-up list.

Zatanna: How was the response?

Shayera: Half the Watchtower has signed up. We're almost ready to divide into teams, choose colors, and pick names. For my team I'm thinking we go with the color red and call ourselves The Furies.

Zatanna: Sounds like fun. I'd like to be a part of it, but I don't enjoy playing sports.

Shayera: We could use a referee.

Zatanna: I'm not familiar with the game. What are the rules?

Shayera: It's not complicated, let's plan on going to a match this Friday and I'll explain everything to you then.

Zatanna: Sure, it's not like I have any date plans for Friday anyway. Besides B'wana Beast it's hard to find guys who are interested.

Shayera: I don't get that, guys should be lining up for a date with you. Hell, if I were a guy I'd date you.

Zatanna: Thanks.

Shayera: Maybe you should try the superhero dating service.

Zatanna: Online dating? You're kidding right, that type of thing attracts all sorts of crazy people.

Shayera: There are crazies everywhere, sometimes you just have to take a chance. I have a profile on there, so does Booster Gold, Lobo, Maxima…

Zatanna: Really not helping your argument here.

Shayera: Diana and Artemis just joined. Even Batman has a profile.

Zatanna: Batman doesn't date.

Shayera: Apparently he's trying to change that.

Zatanna: It must be a joke, Flash probably created it himself.

Shayera: I don't think so, it looks real. He's gotten quite a few hits too. I'm just surprised at the number of people interested in the cranky bastard.

Zatanna: Batman has a certain…charm that many people find appealing. Maybe I will join, though I've never done anything like this before.

Shayera: Neither have I, and the main reason I joined was to give John an ultimatum.

Zatanna: On a public website where everyone can see it?

Shayera: It seemed like the best way.

Zatanna: How do you know he'll even see it? He has a girlfriend so it's not like he's going to be perusing a dating site.

Shayera: I had Wally mention it to him.

Zatanna: You really think it will work?

Shayera: Give me some credit here Zee, I know what I'm doing. Speaking of which, I better get off this thing and head for the training room, John will be looking for me soon.

Zatanna: Okay, good luck with everything.

Shayera: Thanks. See you Friday.

[Shayera has signed out]


Happy Hour

B'wanna Beast sighed as he walked to the cafeteria. He wanted to find a private place to eat, he didn't want to be around other people.

Finding a small room he could eat in private he took a seat and began to eat his food.

"How can I help ya?" a rough voice asked.

B'wanna Beast looked up and found himself staring at a big white man with grizzly hair and red eyes. He was standing by a makeshift counter. It almost looked like a bar.

"Who the hell are you?" B'wann Beast asked confused.

"Name's Lobo. You can call me the Main Man for short."

"How is that short for Lobo? And since when do we have a bar dude?"

"That's the thing. Ya dweebs don't! How do all ya superheroes go without drinkin'?"

"Hey don't blame me man! Supes and Bats don't drink so…"

Lobo snorted.

"Frag. Why is Supes such a loser? Guys like ya are lucky I founded this secret bar."

"Wait. Are you even part of the League?" B'wanna Beast asked confused.

"I help out from time to time."

Finally B'wanna Beast's memory was starting to kick in.

"Wait a minute…" he said while eyeing Lobo suspiciously. "You got kicked out!"

"I left!" Lobo denied.

"Sure. I'm going to tell Supes!" B'wanan Beast said getting up.

"Yo geek wait! Let me make a deal. I'll sell drinks half price to ya!"

"How much is half price?"

"About what ya wimps call 20 dollars."

"Screw that!" B'wanna Beast said and made to leave again.

"Well there's gotta be something I can help ya with! Coem on! I'm the Main Man!"

B'wanna Beast snorted.

"Unless you can help me get a certain female Leaguer's phone number, you are useless dude…" he replied as he was about to open the door.

Lobo's eyes lit up.

"So it's a girl ya want? Well I can help ya with that!"

"No offense dude, but you don't look like a ladies man."

Lobo shrugged.

"Believe what ya want but I will tell ya something, chicks dig bikes."

B'wanna Beast paused. Despite all rational thought telling him to ignore Lobo, the masculine part of him was agreeing with the alien.

"That's true…" B'wanan Beast bemoaned.

"Come on I can help ya out!" Lobo asked leading B'wanna Beast back to a barstool. "What's her name?"

"Well her name's Zatanna and she's a witch…"

Lobo snorted.

"Those type of women are usually great in bed…"

"She's actually a witch!" B'wanan Beast cried a little upset that Lobo was implying that Zatanna was mean.

"Sure, sure. Well because I like ya kid, I'm gonna help ya out. I'm gonna give ya a makeover!"

"A makeover?"

"No offense but that thin' ya're wearin' is not goin' to get ya the ladies!"

"It's part of my costume!" B'wanna Beast protested.

Lobo sighed and patted him on the back.

"So much to learn kiddo, so much to learn."

B'wanna Beast still did not think it was a good idea, but what other options did he have?

"Fine. You win."

"Great! We'll start tomorrow! Meet here!"

B'wanan Beast sighed and made to leave the makeshift bar, but he had one more question.

"Uh dude, how do you even get in here when Sueprman kicked you out?"

"I left!" Lobo denied again before looking around.

He then proceeded to whisper, "There's so many of ya heroes around no one bothers to stop me. As long as I don't run into the big seven, everyone assumes I work here."

B'wanna Beast sighed and left, leaving Lobo alone in his bar.

Lobo snuck to the door to peak out.

"Fragger!" he muttered. Maxima was still eating her lunch. No way he can sneak by her without her clinging onto him again. He thought he would never see her again after he was hired by her to kill some monster or something. He couldn't even remember anymore.

Lobo sighed. Guess he would have to keep the bar open after hours until she left.

But Lobo was not alone for long. Within a few minutes after B'wanna Beast had left, someone else entered. She was tall with blond hair and fierce eyes. She looked a little dirty like she just walked away from a fight.

"Can I help ya?" Lobo asked. She was almost as tall as him.

The woman glared at him.

"What is this?" she demanded threateningly.

"It's a bar."

Immediately that woman's eyes lit up.

"Now you are talking. And Diana was telling me there wasn't one here!"

Lobo grinned as the woman took a seat with her food.

"Name's Lobo," the Czarnian said while offering his hand and winking a little.

The woman did not take too kindly to that gesture and instead glared at him.

"Artemis," she said curtly. "Get me one of those!"

Lobo grunted annoyed and pulled out a bottle of beer and slide it toward her.

"That'll be 40!"


"40 dollars!" Lobo demanded stretching his hand out. "But for you babe, I'll go to 20."

Artemis looked a little embarrassed.

"Well I don't have money…"

"Well you aren't gettin' this then," Lobo replied smugly and took the bottle away.

Artemis glared at him, he was really pushing her buttons.

"I don't have to pay for food in the cafeteria!"

"This is the cash bar lady!" Lobo taunted.

Before he could react, Artemis had knocked over the make shift bar.

"Frag!" Lobo cried as it fell on him. He then felt a vice grip grab him by the throat.

Artemis was glaring at him.

"Don't you ever call me lady or babe again you sexist monster!"

Lobo just grinned.

"Girlie…" he whispered.

Artemis threw him against the wall with so much force, Lobo made a dent in it.

"Bastiche…" he swore before he collapsed on the ground.

Artemis looked a little proud at what she did and stormed out. Lobo came to not to long after she had left.

"Ooh I like her," Lobo remarked, ignoring the throbbing pain in his head and the current mess his bar was in.

TBC. Reviews are always welcome and appreciated!