You were a great Football player, but your brothers were much better at it then you are. Especially your twin, he was a representative Football player for Japan; in other words, he was simply amazing at Football. He was a pure genius. He was. It seems that your younger brother has become better at Football after both of yours older brother death rather quickly, though.
It shames you that you were not getting better and you distant yourself from your family, but you stayed close with Kakeru. You felt whole when you were around him, but you think it is because your twins' Heart had been transplanted into your younger brother, it was the only way to save Kakeru.
Again, you felt so ashamed when you had argued against the transplant that was to save Kakeru's own life with Suguru's heart. You are just glad that no one had told him that, you would not be able to be hold his hurt gazes if he found out. Nevertheless, they said he was brain-dead… and sometimes people can wake up from that.
Very slim chance at that, but possible.
Then again, you are lucky your family can even afford such a large house for six ─ it is five now! You mentally scolded yourself – people in it and you make yourself remember hospital bills for a brain dead patient would cost much more than that of a heart transplant, or at least you told (unsuccessfully) yourself that repeatedly whenever you found yourself seething silently at a picture of Kakeru.
You also told yourself on a daily bases, that you would have lost two brothers instead of just one, if that transplant had not been done.
'Why am I not happy with the fact Kakeru is alive?' You frowned, your heart aching with pain, 'No, that's not right; I'm happy Kakeru was able to survive and a piece of Suguru is still kicking, but... I am unhappy that Suguru wasn't given a chance to wake up.' You felt a lighter, but the pain was still there. Still churning and twisting your insides and – you choked, feeling bile rising in your throat.
You sat up slowly, fighting back the urge to throw up on your bed, and your eyes searched for your trash can. Finding it, you quickly move your way over to it, bent down and placed both knees on both sides of it, and chucked up your breakfast. You eventually started sobbing, feeling disgusted with yourself, somewhere between vomiting and battling with yourself – battling the urge to cry, trying to stay strong.
However, you knew it was hopeless and just let go when you could stop vomiting, face salty tears and nose dripping with watery snot.
You felt even worse – more disgusted – with yourself felt Kakeru's hand rubbing your back, his voice whispering sweet nothings in your eardrums, saying things would be okay... but you knew things would not be okay, not for a long time.
Not until you stopped blaming Kakeru for indirectly killing your twin, Suguru, when you know he would not want you to blame someone for something they never did.
"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry...!"
What the actual fuck did I just write? Seriously, what the fuck, I just found this sitting around in my documents, gathering imaginary dust, and decided to check what I wrote – and I fucking see this.
In addition, yeah, go ahead and report this, I guess, but I just felt like writing this in second person to get more of an emotional reaction from you – the readers. /shrugs
By the way, I think I wrote this when a little around chapter 25 or 45 – I have no fucking clue, and you take this plot idea or something, just tell me, because I wanna read it. And keep in mind I don't do sports, so... well, that's just one of the reasons why I won't be continuing this.