Title: "Oh-come-ma-way"

Warning: Language, male x male sex

Rating: M

Disclaimer: I do not own any of Odas awesome creations

Somewhere between Fishman Island and Punk Harzard.

Sanji had been on edge for the past two weeks, every little thing ticked him off more than usual: he was grumpy, smoked non-stop and seemed preoccupied by something that appeared to be heavy on his heart. First, Zoro had thought that the stupid cook was so alarmed because of all the beautiful busty mermaids, who were constantly around them. But it seemed like this was not the point. In fact, after leaving Fishman Island it only got worse.

Even the girls had started to give Zoro not-so-subtle-hints that, whatever he did to piss Sanji off, he should just hurry up and apologize. Of course these bitches already knew about them. At least Robin knew since Thriller Bark, that much was certain. She must've told it to the witch.

Even though Sanji appeared to be angry with everyone (except for the ladies) all the time, the sex they had was still as good and as frequent as ever. But Zoro noticed that sometimes the cook just wasn't really into it. It was weird and he couldn't point out why but it bugged the hell out of him.

So he had just settled on apologizing for whatever the stupid eyebrow had a problem with.

Sanji often stayed awake late when he wrote down new creations; at least he did that a lot two years ago. So, when Zoro was on watch and saw light in the galley, he figured that it was a chance to talk to Sanji in private. He hadn't, however, expected what was about to hit him.

The look Sanji had given him when he stepped into the room was so terrified and filled with horror that Zoro immediately switched into battle mode and grabbed the hilt of Shuusui.

But then he took in the sight of his man, wearing nothing but a strap of underwear, clutching a … dress.

They had stared at each other for a long, horrible moment until Zoro had stepped in and quietly closed the door behind him. Maybe they needed to have a very awkward talk and he didn't want anyone hearing a thing about whatever was about to be talked about.

However, Sanji had no such plans. In fact, Zoro noticed how his muscles tensed and he possibly prepared to sprint out of the galley, down the Grand Line and back home.

He stepped right in front of the door and dodged the heavy kick to his chest. The cook was dead set on escaping, his moves rapid but not thought through. Zoro finally managed to launch himself at the man, forcefully slamming him down onto the table, holding him pressed down by his shoulders.

For a moment they were both panting, but then Sanji's pants changed into little short breaths and it only took him two seconds to start sobbing. He said something and Zoro wasn't able to understand what it was but he knew it was probably important.

Sanji was never this emotional, never before the two years, and as far as he could tell, never afterwards, too. This was a mood Zoro wasn't sure how to handle, so he did nothing; only released him from his grip.

When Sanji slowly came down from his emotional high, he rubbed his hand along his forehead and sniffed.

"Better?" Zoro asked him and Sanji laughed breathlessly at that.

"I'm not better! I'm turning into a freak!"

Sensing another teary outbreak Zoro grabbed his hand in a clumsy fashion. "You're not a freak, calm down, cook."

"Huh? Didn't you see? I bought a dress! A fucking dress!" Sanji exclaimed fiercely, "I don't… I… I turned into a freaking Okama! Ever since that fucking blood donation I feel like something is wrong with me. I think about high heels and make-up… and –" he made a desperate gesture with his hands, "This isn't ME!"

Zoro stared at him for a short moment. Then he released a breath he had been holding for a long time, stepped back a little and felt a weight hop off his chest. "Oh thank god you're not angry with me!"

"What? Why would I - … Did you even listen?!"

"Yes, I listened. So what. You bought a dress; you think about girly things, you actually DO girly things… that's not really something new to me."

Sanji sent him a death glare at that.

Zoro then became aware of Sanji's position. As good as naked, his lithe body propped up on his elbows, cheeks slightly flushed. He looked like a dish ready to be eaten. The image instantly woke up the lust from deep inside and hunger filled him.

"So… can I see?"

"Are you finished?" he asked impatiently. Zoro sat on the bench with both his feet on the ground. He felt nervous, tense and excited about what was about to come. Sanji had been in the pantry for almost twenty minutes now.

The door swung open slowly and out came… well technically Sanji but he practically looked like a very masculine girl. Zoro took a moment to take the whole picture in and decide if this was worth it or not.

Sanji was barefoot, his hairy legs a huge contrast to the whole girl-thing. He wore a black pinstripe dress, which ended a little bit above his knees. Zoro's eyes followed the zipper; which was attached to the front all the way up to the pale neck. Sanji didn't look at him, the red lipstick on his face seemed displaced but alluring as hell and his eyelashes were darker than usual.

Zoro decided that the cook looked different, but still the same. And what was even more important, the whole thing turned him on. Definitely worth it.

"C'mere", he said and Sanji moved to stand before him. Zoro touched each leg with one hand and placed a light kiss on the clothed stomach. His right hand slid up Sanji's leg, sneaked under the dress and moved ahead to touch the silky underwear.

Sanji twitched slightly and Zoro chuckled. "You're hard", he said, leaned his face against his groin and chuckled again, "This is nice."

The swordsman pressed his mouth to where he thought Sanji's penis was under the two layers of clothing and kissed it. The cook jumped slightly at that and Zoro looked up to see him lick his lips. He grinned and did it again, this time parting his mouth a little so he could move his tongue along the cloth and add pressure. It tasted weird and dry and it smelled like new clothes but it was totally worth the effort looking at Blondie's face.

Sanji placed one hand on his head and closed his eyes. Zoro took that as permission to slide his hand further down his underwear and stroke the dark blond curls hidden beneath. The cook sighted at that.

When Sanji started to press Zoro's head further against his groin and Zoro's neck began to ache because of the uncomfortable position, the swordsman decided that it was time to change the situation a little. He slid down the bench, onto his knees and lifted the dress so he had an easy access to Sanji's lap.

He got a little playful then, crawled under the cloth and let it fall down again behind his head. It was dark and smelled of the dress and the underwear and precum. Again Zoro leaned in to lick and kiss the silky underwear. He felt Sanji's cock twitch against his lips.

Zoro moved his hand to open his own trousers to knead his half-hard penis. He had always liked to get the cook off with his mouth; it turned him on just thinking about the little sighs and breaths; it made him horny because Sanji enjoyed it.

One hand in his own pants, the other in the cook's, he sighed deeply. He stopped working on himself for a second to pull down the underwear and release Sanji's member. Zoro breathed against it for about two seconds before he licked the skin. His cock twitched again and then the dress was suddenly lifted once more, this time by Sanji.

"I want to see you", he whispered huskily and pressed the fabric to his chest.

Zoro grinned and proceeded what he began. He took his member into his mouth and started to suck lightly on the head, tasting skin and the undeniable tang of semen. His tongue moved to circle around the glans, pressing against the underside. Zoro then let go and licked the shaft before he took the cook into his mouth and started to move along the cock, squeezing a little or sucking harder from time to time. Sanji paid him with little gasps and sighs, the slight trembling of his legs and the facial expression on his face that could have been pain, but Zoro knew better.

The hand in his own pants had already found its way into his underwear, stroking his cock lazily. The other hand fondled Sanji's balls and played with the curly pubic hair.

Zoro sucked a little harder one more time, before he let go and stood up. Sanji opened his eyes again and he recognized the same hunger that burned down his throat and set his insides on fire. Zoro cupped his face with one hand and the cook leaned in to give him a sloppy, dominant kiss.

Sanji grabbed the red sash which was tied around the swordsman's hip and pulled it off. The fabric drifted down to land softly on the floor. Zoro shrugged out of the green coat, being left to stand only in his opened trousers. The cook pulled down pants and boxers in one go and grabbed his erect cock.

He sighed when Sanji's fingers began to work their magic on his penis and he looked down to watch the play. The cook nosed him into a kiss once again, soft at first, getting hungry then, involving tongue and teeth.

When they parted, their lips made a quiet kissing noise and Zoro noticed that Sanji was still fully clothed, except for his underwear and he himself was naked. The cooks' lipstick was smeared all the way to his nose, his lips now red from kissing. Zoro stepped out of his pants and leaned against the table. The swordsman noticed the tent that lifted the dress a little and licked his lips unconsciously. Sanji gave him a playful wink when he noticed.

Zoro reached his hand out and placed it against Sanji's chest.

The zipper was small and he needed two attempts to grab it. Pulling it down he revealed skin and – to his surprise- a bra. He gave Sanji a look and the blond looked back at him with a "so what" expression on his face.

"You open it", he said and Sanji chuckled.

It turned out that the thing could be opened at the front and Zoro wasted no time to slide his hands under the bothersome garment. His fingers caressed Sanji's nipples and he leaned in again to kiss his neck. He knew from experience that Sanji was very sensitive in that area, but funnily enough only on his right side.

The cook shivered and Zoro stepped a little closer to rub their groins together. Sanji moaned somewhere deep in his throat.

When Zoro let go of him and sat on the table, Sanji looked a little confused. Then something in his eyes changed as he understood what Zoro wanted. He grabbed the zipper of the dress with his own hands but the swordsman shoved his hand away.

"Leave it", he said and leaned back on the table, so that he was propped up on his elbows; in the very same position Sanji had been earlier that night.

Sanji set in motion to crawl on top of him, but stopped, "Wait", he said and walked awkwardly back into the kitchen, the boner an obvious tent under the dress, to take the lube they had bought in secret out of its hiding spot. He came back and practically shoved Zoro back onto the table, rubbing their groins against each other.

The wood was hard and uncomfortable against his back but he knew that this could become his forever favorite fuck to remember, so he tried to pay it no mind.

Sanji kissed him, his chest, his neck, licked his nipples and kept rubbing against him in a way that was just fucking amazing. Zoro noticed how their bodies fit together, felt complete, felt wanted and loved and moaned when the cook bit down on his shoulder.

He heard how the blond opened the bottle and squeezed some of the lube onto his hand.

The slimy fingers pressed against his hole soon after. They met resistance, pushed further in and started to build a slow rhythm. Zoro let out a hiss at the sensation. Every time the fingers pushed into him, his eyebrows would knit together. He opened his legs further and felt a good kind of dirty for the action. His head fell back against the cold surface of the table with a dull 'thunk'. "Ouch", he said, even though it didn't hurt at all.

Sanji just snickered. "That sounded awfully empty."

"Shut your mouth."

The cook grinned at him, his cheeks red and his eyes glistening in the bright light. Zoro's heart skipped a beat. Sanji pushed another finger in and Zoro abandoned the thought of kissing him.

The sloppy sound filled the kitchen as Sanji continued to finger him.

"Never thought I'd be fingered by a girl" Zoro said and Sanji threw him a look.

The fingers slid out of his hole easily. Sanji gripped Zoro's left leg and lifted it so that he could set it on his right shoulder. He stepped closer, forced the swordsman to open up some more and put some of the lube on his penis.

With the first press against his hole, Sanji muttered a breathless "I'll show you girl" and then he pushed further in. Zoro couldn't keep the grin he had planned to hold on his face, and let out a long breath. The cook guided himself with one hand; the other was pressed to Zoro's inner thigh, holding him in position.

Sanji's head fell forward, his hair hiding his face, and panted lightly. He picked up a slow pace and Zoro reveled in the feeling spreading throughout his groin. It wasn't particularly overwhelming, after all it had only been five times that Sanji had ever hit his prostate during sex, but it was a sight worthy to see. The cook rarely was up for something kinky, even though Zoro always thought that Sanji had some really fucked up fantasies about them doing this and that. And hell yes, he was up for every single bit of them. But the blond wouldn't just spill the beans.

So it was the first time they did something really kinky. Something forbidden. And the thought turned Zoro on. He felt like he was little again, heart pounding, sneaking around the dojo, trying to steal a glance at real katana for the first time even though Sensei told them not to do it.

Sanji's eyes met his, the fire burning in them hot enough to light Zoro's desire and he pulled the blond down for a messy kiss, even though the position was uncomfortable.

When the cook came up again he lifted the leg from his right shoulder and put it on the left. He shifted a little so he was able to plunge deeper, faster, breathing harsh through bared teeth. The muscles of his stomach rippled under soft skin.

"You look so good," Zoro said panting and put a hand on his own member to stroke himself to the rhythm.

A low moan dropped out of Sanji's throat and he increased his pace once more. Zoro felt like his ass would catch on fire any minute now, the burning sensation taking over his mind. His mouth opened to pant heavily with each deep thrust into his very core.

Sanji gripped the swordsman's raised leg once more and guided it to the table. Zoro now lay on his side while the cook started to pant louder, thrust deeper, his eyes tightly shut. He had the most concentrated look on his face.

An overwhelming urge to touch the chest of the other man overcame Zoro and he reached out his hand to caress a nipple. Sanji's movements faltered for a second, his eyes unfocused for a heartbeat and then he moaned loud, pressed in once more in a rapid motion and stilled completely.

When Sanji came to himself again he licked his lips and panted exhaustedly. Then he smiled the satisfied smile of a guy who just had good, satiable sex.

The look on Sanji's face seemed to be hotwired to Zoro's cock and he started to move his hands once more while the softening member slipped out of his hole.

The cook leaned down to kiss his neck and his chest in a tired manner and Zoro concentrated on the feeling and the scent and the sound and everything that felt good right now. He thought about how Sanji had looked in the moment he had come and he felt his balls lifting. It didn't take long for his body to tense up and he came with a low moan against his hand.

When he opened his eyes once more Sanji looked down at him, then he smiled and leaned in to lazily kiss his lips. Zoro felt it all the way down to his toes.

Later that night when they got dressed again Zoro watched his, now normally dressed boyfriend while he removed the make-up. He couldn't help thinking that it was a pity. Even though Sanji managed to look good all the time, this time had been different. The thought that the blond made himself pretty for him was heartwarming and it made him feel proud.

"Don't look like that, Marimo", the cook said suddenly, looking at him through the mirror.

Zoro answered him with a grunt; he turned around and put on his shirt again.

"Ah by the way, this is yours", something hit his shoulder with a soft sound and fell down to the ground. "I heard that guys always keep it."

Zoro turned around again only to find Sanji leave through the galley door. He looked down on the ground to make out what hit him and felt his stomach do a funny flip flop.

The panties.

He chuckled while he picked them up. "Isn't that just your fantasy?"

They smelled like sex and Sanji.

Hello dear reader,

Thank you for reading my very first attempt to write PWP (in English).

This is written with the intent to be funny. I don't really believe that anyone will become gay just because of a blood donation.

I want to give a special thanks to my lovely beta reader, NarcissisticNinny. Without her I probably never would have posted this. You deserve all my love and adoration