Hey guys! As most of you know last week I posted an author's note on this story asking everyone if they would like me to continue my story here, and post it in its updated version. The response was a resounding yes so here we are! This story has been betad by two lovely ladies from Project Team Beta as well as validated by a beta from . Today I am posting from prologue to chapter 4 so it is up to date with the posting on the other website. Please review and let me know if you can notice the changes! xoxoxo, Sara
June 13th, 2010
"I hear the preacher say speak now or forever hold your peace,
There's the silence, there's my last chance.
I stand up with shaky hands. All eyes on me.
Horrified looks from everyone in the room
But I'm only looking at you."
Normally, I would be terrified to have all this attention. I'd be blushing and looking away or trying to make an excuse to leave. But not this time. Even though it's been five years, I have to finally say the things I should've said so long ago. The words I've kept in because I was afraid and selfish.
I can feel their horrified stares, and the rising murmurs become background noise to the scene. Part of my consciousness registers her screeching at me, while my best friend defends me. Just the high pitch of her voice gives me a headache, but I ignore her gaze since I am interrupting something important. This must look really spectacular to all of the attendants.
I only half listen to my big bear, his loud voice proclaiming, "Finally!" I would've laughed if I wasn't making my way slowly down the aisle, just as she had moments before. The urgency of her family's cries fall on my deaf ears.
There is only one thing that I can focus on, one factor in the equation that makes sense:
The vibrant emerald orbs shine with surprise and slight amusement. Not anger like I expected. I can see the corners of your mouth pulling up slowly. Suddenly, I feel a lot more assured that what I am doing at this white veil occasion is a good thing. While you didn't expect me, I am not going to be rejected right off the bat. Yet my hands begin to shake and my heart begins to race.
I wonder what you think I'll say and how I'll say it. You seem expectant, almost curious to hear the phrases that will fall from my lips. I hope they mean as much to you as they do to me.
But now that I'm here, everything that I believed I'd say has slipped from the crevices of my mind. I slowly begin my walk toward the altar and I see you sneak a deep breath. You did that every time you were nervous or apprehensive. From the corner of my eye, I see the bride in the pastry dress trying to get to me while two of the bridesmaids hold her back. My best friends must be having some real fun with this. From what they've told me, this has been their dream for as long as it has been mine.
I stare at your tux and the boutonnière made of a horrible excuse for a flower- probably her idea. I wonder if you had any say in this wedding at all, even the proposal. Wishful thinking says no, but I know you did. I chuckle under my breath then look deep into your eyes, the eyes I fell in love with. One deep breath will give me the strength to do this, one to bring forth my will power. You can hear a pin drop in this place, at this moment.
"I'm sorry I ruined your wedding," I whisper. "Can we talk?"
Please say yes.