SCENE 1
Ruby has just been killed and the Apocalypse has started. Dean and Sam are starting to get back into the swing of things. They are at the morgue, posing as Feds, checking out a recent kill. They walk up to the man who will be conducting the autopsy and flash their fake I.D.'s.
DEAN
Hi I'm agent Walker and this is my partner agent Skinner. We're here to see Peter Allen's body.
The coroner nods and opens the draw that Peter Allen's body is in. It's covered with a sheet with a little blood on it.
CORONER
Just to warn you guys, this one is a little graphic.
DEAN
Trust me this isn't our first dead body.
The coroner then pulls back the sheet to reveal Peter Allen's body practically mangled with various scratches and deep open wounds. Dean grimaces at it but at the same time is hardly phased by it. Sam on the other hand turns extremely pale.
The police have any idea of what could have done this?
CORONER
I'm guessing some kind of animal. Definitely nothing human.
The coroner looks over at Sam
You okay their agent?
SAM
What? Yeah I'm…
Sam then falls over passing out
SCENE 2
Sam slowly wakes up in a hospital bed strapped to an I.V. Dean is sitting in a chair in the room reading a porno magazine. He notices Sam starting to wake up and puts his magazine down and walks over to Sam
DEAN
Hey Sleeping Beauty
SAM
Dean? What the hell happened?
He then notices that he's connected to an I.V. Dean starts to chuckle a bit.
DEAN
You passed out Samantha.
SAM
No I didn't
DEAN
Oh yes you did my fragile little brother.
SAM
Shut – up. It's probably because I haven't eaten.
DEAN
Or maybe it has to do with the fact that you were puking your guts out this morning.
SAM
You knew about that?
DEAN
Yeah. And you were fine until the coroner opened up Peter Allen's body. Since when did you get so sensitive to blood, because in our field of work that could be a problem
Dean chuckles
SAM
So what did the doctors say?
DEAN
They couldn't find anything wrong with you but they took your blood just to make sure.
SAM
Alright fine lets just go. I hate hospitals.
Dean helps Sam out of the bed and they leave.
SCENE 3
Sam and Dean are in the Impala and Dean is driving. Dean looks over to Sam who still looks sick.
DEAN
Hey if you're going to throw up let me know so I can pull over. I just cleaned my car.
Sam rolls his eyes
SAM
I'm fine.
DEAN
So are we going to talk about what's been going on with you or not?
SAM
Dean…
DEAN
Seriously Sam, you're puking your guts out like a desperate model and your passing out like a girl at a Beatles concert, I mean what the hell?
SAM
So I'm sick, it happens.
DEAN
Then why are you trying to hide it?
Sam starts to stutter.
SAM
I-I-I'm not hiding it.
DEAN
Really? Then you wouldn't mind sitting this hunt out.
SAM
Oh come on.
DEAN
Hey you're not steering the wheel on this one. If you're saying that your sick then you can rest.
SAM
If you were in my shoes would you rest?
DEAN
No, but I'm the oldest and what I say goes.
SAM
I'm not 12 Dean. That crap doesn't work anymore.
DEAN
Yeah well it's working today.
Dean pulls up to the motel and Sam gets out and then drives away. Sam walks into the motel and falls asleep in his bed.
SCENE 3
Sam is still asleep in his bed when his phone goes off. He fishes for it in his pocket and finally answers it before it goes to voicemail. Sam answers groggily.
SAM
Hello? Yes this is Agent Skinner. Um excuse me? I'm what?!
Sam drops the phone and begins to hyperventilate
This isn't possible! This can't happen!
Sam then picks his phone off the floor and calls Dean.
You need to get back here, now!
SCENE 4
Dean walks into the motel and see's Sam pacing back and forth.
DEAN
Hey what's wrong?
SAM
You better sit down.
DEAN
Why?
Sam walks over to the chair and pulls it out.
SAM
Sit.
Dean does what he's told. Sam then hands him a drink. Dean takes a swig of his drink.
DEAN
Alright so why'd you drag me down here?
SAM
Okay, what I'm about to tell you is extremely crazy and downright impossible and that's why I need your help.
DEAN
Just spit it out.
SAM
The doctor just called and told me that I was…pregnant.
Dean cocks his head sideways and then stands up.
DEAN
You dragged me away from a hunt for a stupid joke. Really? Come on Sammy.
SAM
I'm serious Dean!
DEAN
All right okay and hey, did you hear that aliens are real too?
Sam then grabs Dean by the collar and says through his teeth.
SAM
I'm serious.
Dean takes his hands and throws them off of him.
DEAN
This isn't funny.
SAM
It's not a joke.
Dean then takes another swig from his drink.
Do you believe me now?
DEAN
No. Hell no. Sam you're a guy okay? This doesn't happen to us.
SAM
Don't you think I know that? I'm just as confused as you are.
DEAN
Sam, there's no need to be confused because you're not pregnant!
SAM
I know I was trying to hide that something was wrong with me but what if this is it? I mean we all thought it was the flu but-
DEAN
Enough Sammy! Listen to yourself, you sound like you're going insane.
SAM
But it makes sense.
DEAN
None of this makes sense!
SAM
The dizzy spells, the vomiting and the fatigue, it all fits.
DEAN
No. It doesn't fit because you're missing a big piece. It's called a uterus. I know you've stressed out lately with everything that happened in the past few months but you gotta snap out of this.
SAM
What about what the Doctor-
DEAN
Forget about what the doctor said. You wanna get checked out, fine. But we're going to my doctor.
SCENE 5
Sam and Dean walk up the stairs to the apartment of Dr. Robert. It's a very grimy and unsanitary looking apartment building.
SAM
Seriously you rather take me here than an actual doctor?
DEAN
Yes, crazy, I would.
Dean knocks on the door. Doctor Robert answers the door in his lab coat with a smile on his face.
DR. ROBERT
Sam and Dean Winchester, it is great to see you two boys again. Last time I saw you guys you must have been 8 and 12 and I was patching your daddy up from a hunt. Condolences to your dad by the way.
DEAN
Thanks.
DR. ROBERT
Come on in, please.
Dean and Sam follow him into the apartment where a hospital table lies and few monitors next to it.
So what can I do for you today?
DEAN
It's my brother, we're not sure what's wrong with him and we were thinking you could do some tests and figure it out.
DR. ROBERT
Sure thing. So Sam could you tell me what's wrong?
Sam looks over to Dean and they share soulful looks.
SAM
Umm…well you see I have reasons to believe that I could be pregnant.
DEAN
Sam…
SAM
That's why we're here right?
DR. ROBERT
All right well lets just check underneath the hood shall we?
Sam gets on the hospital bed and Dr. Robert pulls over the sonogram machine. Dr. Roberts lifts Sam's shirt up a bit revealing his abdomen where his 6 pack remained. Dean has his arms crossed and just starts at Sam. Dr. Robert then takes a gel and puts it on Sam's stomach. He goes to grab the want when Dean interrupts.
DEAN
Now wait it's not possible for him to be pregnant right?
DR. ROBERT
Dean, I've seen a lot of crap in my day. I wouldn't be surprised.
Dr. Robert looks down at Sam.
You ready?
Sam slowly nods. Dr. Robert puts the wand on Sam's stomach and a very small image appears on the monitor screen. Dean squints at the monitor trying to make out what it is.
SAM
What the hell is that?
DR. ROBERT
That, son, is your baby.
Sam sits up in the bed still staring at the screen in disbelief.
DEAN
Son of a bitch.
SAM
It's real…
DEAN
What?
SAM
It's one thing to be told something; it's completely different to see t for yourself. Dean what the hell are we going to do? I can't have a baby.
DEAN
So wait Sammy was right? He's actually pregnant?
DR. ROBERT
How did this happen Sam?
SAM
I think it was Ruby.
DEAN
Ruby? The demon Ruby? How?
SAM
Well she's the only one I has sex with lately and I remember one time her talking about how no matter what he legacy will live on with me.
DEAN
And you didn't find something off about that?
SAM
Of course I did but I was so hopped on demon blood I could barely see straight.
DEAN
Oh that's just great.
To Dr. Robert.
What are our options?
DR. ROBERT
Well…Sam could have the baby.
SAM
What's option B?
DR. ROBERT
I'm not seeing an option B. Getting rid of a baby from a guy is hell of a lot more dangerous than it is for a woman. It can be fatal to both you and the baby.
SAM
Sam scoffs
But giving bit is simpler?
Actually yes. There's nothing to worry about Sam I've dealt with this before.
SAM & DEAN
You have?
DR. ROBERT
What? You think this is my first demon spawn male insemination?
DEAN
I guess not.
DR. ROBERT
Now there are some rules that go with this. Treat this like a normal pregnancy, which means, Sam, no alcohol, no stress and most importantly no hunting.
SAM
No hunting?
DEAN
Yikes. Sucks for you.
DR. ROBERT
If you have any problems call me.
Dr. Robert hands Dean his business card.
SAM
One more question. How is supposed to come out of me?
DR. ROBERT
We'll cross that bridge when we get to it.
SAM
Great.
DR. ROBERT
Thanks doc.
SCENE 6
Sam is now four months pregnant along and they're staying at Bobby's house for the duration of the pregnancy. Dean is at the kitchen table eating eggs and toast and Bobby isn't home. Sam walks downstairs and Dean spots Sam.
DEAN
Morning preggers
Sam smiles.
SAM
Morning.
DEAN
Well you're chipper.
SAM
I have every right to be. This marks the first morning where I kept everything down.
DEAN
Well congrats. Want to celebrate with some breakfast?
SAM
Yeah I think I might.
Dean gets up and makes him a plate and sits beside him. Sam starts to devour his meal.
DEAN
So other than you being puke free, how are you feeling and don't say okay.
SAM
I'm not okay. I'm pregnant with Ruby's child and I'm a guy who's pregnant with Ruby's child. I'm terrified. I'm just trying to make the best of it.
DEAN
Well all right. I guess we're really doing this then.
SAM
I guess so. Hey can you pass me the syrup?
DEAN
You know you're eating eggs right?
SAM
Yeah…so?
Dean gets a disgusted look on his face and hands him the syrup.
DEAN
And let the pregnancy cravings begin.
SCENE 7
Sam is seven months pregnant and is very irritable. He is at his computer researching a monster for Bobby at the kitchen table Dean is lying on the couch sleeping and snoring very loudly. Sam tries his best to ignore it but is having trouble.
SAM
Dean
Dean doesn't wake up.
Dean
Dean is still asleep. Sam sighs then throws a pencil at his head.
DEAN!
Dean wakes up with a jolt.
DEAN
Ow! What the hell? What you'd do that for?
SAM
Because you snore like a cartoon.
Dean gets up off the couch and walks towards Sam.
DEAN
I wouldn't sleep so hard if it weren't for you and damn shuffling around in your bed and getting up every 5 minutes to pee.
SAM
Well sorry I can't get comfortable. You try sleeping with a watermelon strapped to your body that's sitting on your bladder.
Dean says to himself
DEAN
I wouldn't be a little bitch about it.
SAM
Excuse me!
Bobby walks in and hears them arguing.
BOBBY
Hey! What the hell is going on?!
DEAN
Mr. mom is getting on my last nerves.
SAM
I'm getting on your nerves? You're such a fricken jerk!
DEAN
And you're such a whiny bitch!
BOBBY
Okay enough! Dean come with me.
DEAN
But-
BOBBY
Now!
Dean rolls his eyes and follows Bobby out to the car. Bobby punches Dean in the arm.
DEAN
Ow! What the hell?
BOBBY
What is wrong with you? You're brother seven months pregnant.
DEAN
So.
BOBBY
So, he's doing the best he can and you know that you'd be just as whinny and annoying. If anything you'd be worse. So cut him some slack.
DEAN
But he started it!
BOBBY
I don't care. This isn't an easy time for any of us and you're not making it any better by getting in fights with him. Now go in there and apologize.
DEAN
What? Bobby I-
BOBBY
Shh! Go!
Dean gives an exasperated sigh.
DEAN
Fine
Dean and Bobby walk back into the house and up to Sam. He sighs.
I want to…apologize for yelling at you and calling you a bitch
SAM
And I'm sorry for being a jerk…and throwing a pencil at you.
DEAN
Okay good is the moment over? Great.
BOBBY
All right now it's my turn to talk. You two need to stop fighting. In two months Sam you're going to bring a new life in this world and scary as that is you two are going to have work together. Do I make myself clear?
SAM & DEAN
Yes sir.
Sam goes back to his research.
DEAN
Sam, what are you doing on your laptop?
SAM
Researching this ghost for Bobby.
DEAN
Bobby, he's not supposed to do anything strenuous, what were you thinking Bobby?
BOBBY
Don't use that tone with me boy. Plus he wanted to and since when was researching strenuous?
DEAN
I do.
BOBBY
Fine you do it.
DEAN
Wait what?
Sam holds in a laugh. He then hands him his laptop.
SAM
Here ya go. Mr. Mom is going to take a nap.
DEAN
Pshh that's fine whatever.
BOBBY
Good luck.
Bobby pats Dean's shoulders and leaves the room with Sam. Dean looks at the computer confused.
DEAN
I should have kept my mouth shut.
SCENE 7
Sam is nine months pregnant and is taking a nap when he feels a sharp pain in his lower back. He wakes up and instantly, with a groan, put his hand on his lower back. Dean is sitting in the chair diagonal from him.
DEAN
That doesn't sound too good.
SAM
I'm fine.
DEAN
You sure about that big daddy?
SAM
It's just the baby kicking me.
DEAN
In your lower back?
SAM
Shut up I'm fine.
DEAN
Mhmm and isn't your due date this week?
SAM
Exactly it's not today.
DEAN
You do know that women don't always give birth on their due date right? These could be contractions.
SAM
They're not.
DEAN
Hmm, and how far apart are these pains? A couple of minutes I'm guessing?
SAM
Yeah maybe…
DEAN
Yup, we're getting your ass to Dr. Robert.
SAM
Since when did you know so much about the stages of labor?
DEAN
I may or may not have read "What to Expect when you're Expecting."
SAM
And you call me the girl.
DEAN
Shut up
Dean helps Sam off the couch. Dean calls out.
Bobby! Lets go its time.
Sam gets a contraction and squeezes Dean's hand.
Owww! Mother… okay we're getting you a stress ball or something.
Dean calls for Bobby again.
Come on Bobby get the lead out.
Bobby runs downstairs
BOBBY
What are you yelling about?
DEAN
Sammy has gone into labor.
BOBBY
Balls.
DEAN
Gee Bobby tell us how you really feel.
BOBBY
No, we got no way of getting there.
SAM
WHAT?!
DEAN
What's wrong with my car?
BOBBY
Well…
DEAN
Bobby? What happened to Baby?
BOBBY
I took her on a hunt-
DEAN
Without my permission?!
BOBBY
And lets just say she had a run in with a tree.
DEAN
I think I'm going to be sick.
SAM
Okay focus, Bobby what about you're other cars?
BOBBY
They're all dead. I run a junkyard not a dealership.
SAM
Fine, call Dr. Robert and have him come here.
BOBBY
I don't have his number
They both look at Dean.
DEAN
Umm…I know I had the number
SAM
Seriously?!
Sam gets another contraction
DEAN
Crap. Okay Sam sit and we'll look for the number.
Sam lies back on the couch and Dean and Bobby tear the place apart looking for Dr. Robert's number with no luck. Sam is in great pain and the contractions are getting closer together. Dean walks over to Sam.
Can I get you anything?
SAM
Yeah come here
Sam takes and his pointer finger and gestures for him to come closer. Dean gets close to Sam's face. Sam shouts.
GET ME A DOCTOR!
DEAN
Gotcha. Anything else?
SAM
No, just get me that and we're-
Sam has another contraction.
DEAN
When was your last contraction?
SAM
I don't know, less than a minute ago.
DEAN
Crap. Crap. Crap. Bobby! Get over here.
Bobby runs over
BOBBY
What?
DEAN
His contractions are really close.
BOBBY
Well I guess he's gonna have start having to push.
SAM
What?
DEAN
Okay I know we've avoided this question but how is it going to come out?
BOBBY
I guess we'll find out.
DEAN
Great this day is just getting better and better.
SCENE 8
Sam is still on the couch and Dean walks in with towels. Sam is still having contractions.
DEAN
You know I gotta say I'm happy I'm not you.
SAM
Yeah I bet. Look Dean this baby is coming.
DEAN
Like now?
Sam nods his head.
Oh great…. What do I do?
SAM
How the hell am I supposed to know?
Sam gets a contraction. He says through his teeth.
But you better figure it out quick
DEAN
Ok just don't push anything out yet.
Dean rushes in the closet to get blankets and towels. Bobby is helping Sam to g et in birthing position on the couch. Bobby puts the towel over Sam's legs and goes to take his pants off.
SAM
Whoa.
BOBBY
How else do you expect me to get the baby out?
Bobby takes off his pants. And his eyes widen.
Oh my God.
SAM
What?
BOBBY
Dean you might want to take a look at this.
DEAN
That's okay I think I'll just stand over here. I don't want to see anything that's happening underneath that blanket.
SAM
Why what's going on?
BOBBY
You're thing is gone.
SAM
Its gone?!
Dean starts to chuckle
Are you seriously laughing right now?!
DEAN
What? No…
BOBBY
I think I can see the head so you're going to have to start pushing.
Sam starts to push and holds on to the sides of the couch.
Good keep going,
Sam is out of breath
DEAN
Wow. That looks like it hurts.
Sam gives him a sharp look.
SAM
Really? I hadn't noticed. God somebody please just knock me out.
BOBBY
Not quite yet I can see the head. Come on Sam you're almost done.
Sam continues to push.
Dean quick get me the blanket.
Dean grabs the blanket and hands it to Bobby.
One last push Sam.
Sam gives one last push with a small scream leaving his mouth. Bobby catches the baby.
Congratulations Sam, say hello to your new baby Boy.
Bobby hands the baby to Sam
SAM
He's adorable.
DEAN
Yeah he is. He's like a little you, without the hippie hair.
Sam chuckles
SAM
Wow I can't believe I actually gave birth
DEAN
Yeah you and me both. Just promise me you won't do that again.
SAM
Yeah trust me I won't.
THE END