The Elder Winchester's Guide for Handling Sniffly Feverish Whiney Younger Brothers.

A/N: Upon a recommendation (emebalia, I couldn't resist!), I'm adding another chapter to this with Dean's list of rules for handling a sick Sam. I don't read many sick!Sam fics, so most of this is guesswork. I hope it's true-ish to some fanfic at least, enjoy!

And so the mastery of the older brother begins…

Step 1.

Stock up on water bottles and aspirin. Lots and lots of aspirin.

Step 2.

Get motel in a quiet area, TV off, and turn off music while in car. Lament loss of music.

Step 3.

Beware of whining upon taking covers away.

Step 4.

For some odd reason brother likes tea. Be sure to keep large quantities of tea ready, complete with sugar and honey and any other girly flavoring needed.

Step 5.

Illnesses for the younger brother often come on quickly. Be sure medical kit is well stocked, and be prepared for the onslaught of sniffles.


Step 6.

Brother tends to not disclose illnesses on his own. Watch for signs of increased bitchface with no other cause, intolerance for usual jokes, and an increased lack of pensieve overthinking.

Step 7.

If illness is due to hangover, tease mercilessly. If illness is of viral or bacterial order, tease slightly less mercilessly.

Step 8.

Consequence of adding to nausea via teasing is occasionally vomit on shirt.

Step 9.

Sick brother has nasty habit of sleeping on bathroom floor. Attempts to carry into bed, while successful at a younger age, will now lead to wrenched back. Solution: leave on floor until coherent enough to move with assistance. Offer pillow and blanket.

Step 10.

After night on said bathroom floor, be ready with hot pack for sore back and neck.

Step 11.

Tomato rice soup. That stuff is magic.

Step 12.

Brother tends to be disoriented upon abrupt wakening and prone to flinging out arms. While punches are much weaker than awesome older brother's, gangly limbs can still cause quite an issue. Lean back when attempting to wake.

Step 13.

Take full advantage of passed out brother and trim bangs. Not cut all the way, he'd notice. But trim. Kid has no sense of good taste.

Step 14.

If younger brother has stopped eating, try something fruity and healthy.

One of these days he'll be able to choke down a normal burger again.

Step 15.

For fever-induced nightmares, cool compress for back of neck works best.

For typical nightmares rendered more difficult by illness, silent company followed by water works best.

Step 16.

Take the laptop away, particularly if illness strikes when working a case. Geek very possessive of research role and will wear self out trying to resume duties. Hide laptop in box of Busty Asian Beauties issues.

Step 17.

Kid'll never find it.

Step 18.

In more serious cases, consider giving back one hoodie for added comfort.

Just one. Can take it back later.

Step 19.

Sick younger brother is clingy younger brother. Suck it up and give the Sasquatch hugs if he needs them.