"Keep laughing and I'm gonna leave you in the middle of the desert."
Jaime dragged the giggling speedster into his house and onto the couch. Bart just had his wisdom teeth removed, but since Joan and Jay were with Iris for the day, Jaime decided to help his buddy out. However, he would never have agreed if he knew how much vicodin it takes to sedate a speedster.
Bart giggled again, rolling his head around like he didn't have a neck.
"Your house is so pretty! I didn't know you had a pet unicorn!" Bart shouted, flailing his limbs. Jaime sighed as he rested his head in his hand.
"Yes Bart. I've been hiding it in the basement, along with a candy cane forest and a gum drop field." Jaime dripped the sentence in sarcasm.
"Will you chop me down a tree? It'll take me, like, an hour to eat it!" Bart shouted eagerly.
Jaime couldn't help but laugh as he shook his head at the speedster. As long as Bart was going to believe anything, he decided to have some more fun with this.
"We can get you a couple trees later. And while we're at it, we can watch the cotton candy clouds as we climb the rock candy mountain."
"Can Mr. Unicorn come with us?" Bart motioned to the empty area where 'Mr. Unicorn' must have been standing.
"Of course. I'll make sure we have a spare caramel rope for him to use." Jaime suppressed another laugh before seeing the serious look on Bart's face.
"Okay you're just messing with me, right?" Bart said flatly.
Jaime looked confused. Had Bart just worn out of pain meds or was it a sudden moment of clarity? Bart continued on before Jaime could think of another reason.
"Obviously a caramel rope wouldn't be strong enough for Mr. Unicorn. Do you have any licorice ropes?"
Jaime snorted, trying not to burst out laughing.
"I'm sure we have some good licorice ropes to use. I'll even add a candy coating to it to make sure it's ready for Mr. Unicorn."
"Perfect! Hear that Mr. Unicorn!? It'll be safe for you to clim- where'd he go?" Bart looked over to the same spot.
"Did he go to play with Milagro?" Bart questioned as he rolled off the couch and onto the carpet.
"Um, yeah. He likes to take my family on rides around the world." Jaime got off the couch as well and lied next to the loopy teen.
"Well that's nice of him! So, what can we do after we climb the candy rock mountain?" Bart stared up at the ceiling, seeing the land in his head.
"It's a magical world, so whatever you can think of will be there." Jaime mentioned, since he was running out of candy landmarks to make.
"Then I think there should be a jell-o pool."
"POOF. It's there now. It's the size of an Olympic pool, and the deeper it gets, the more layers of flavors there are." Jaime waved his hand in the air for extra effect before putting it back behind his head as he thought of the candy world with Bart.
"Oh, we can't forget about the gingerbread men serving us fruit roll-up towels." Bart decided.
"And gummy worm pool noodles." Jaime added.
"I like that. After we go swimming, we should go to the chocolate waterfall."
"We can relax in the chocolate spring too."
Bart smiled. "And we'll drop a mento in the soda volcano."
"I'll make sure Mr. Unicorn flies us higher so we can watch the explosion." Jaime offered.
"Oh no, what about the gummy bears living in the forest? Do you think they'll get hurt?" Bart rolled over to Jaime with fear on his face.
"Don't worry Hermano. The soda lava won't hurt them. It'll be like swimming in a root beer float." Jaime smiled as Bart let out a relieved sigh and plopped back down.
"Good. I was scared for a minute there." Bart took a long breath out.
"I think we'll be kinda tired after all that, so after the volcano, we should relax for a bit on the gobstopper hill."
"And can we go play in the jelly bean pit afterwards?" Bart stretched his limbs and yawned.
"We can do whatever you want buddy."
Jaime smirked at the site next to him. Bart had curled his upper body while his legs were stretched out in opposite directions. It had been a long day for the poor teen, and he was in for a world of pain once the meds stopped working. Jaime grabbed the pillow off the couch and set it behind Bart's head.
"And after the jelly bean pit, we'll relax on the pixie stick beach and sleep under the mint moon." Jaime finished their candy world adventure, seeing as Bart was already out like a light. Jaime got up and stretched his body. He laid a blanket on the slumbering speedster and ruffled his hair.
"Buenos noches, candy boy."
A few hours later, Jaime heard the familiar groan of someone whose pain meds had worn off. Bart walked into the living room holding the medications in one hand, and a box in the other.
"How you feelin', ese?" Jaime questioned lightly as Bart swallowed the pills.
"I feel terrible. My mouth hurts so much!" Bart tossed his arms and legs out for extra drama.
"Did you have a good sleep at least?" Jaime asked, with something hidden in his tone.
"I had the best dream ever! We were in this weird candy world thing, but it was really weird. I think there was a special horse or something we named, but I guess it was just an odd meds dream." Bart looked quizzically at the box in Jaime's arm.
Jaime smiled deviantly. "Oh, nothing I just thought we could play a game."
Jaime showed Bart the box, revealing and Candy Land board game.
"Oh God please tell me I didn't create an entire candy world with you!" Bart groaned as Jaime laughed.
"Don't worry, it was fun. And I'm sure Milagro will love it too."
Bart smashed his face in his pillow as Jaime kept laughing.
"You tell no one of this!" Bart pointed at Jaime.
"I swear I won't tell anyone. It'll just be you, me, and Mr. Unicorn."
Bart just hid his red face as Jaime rolled on the floor laughing.
I don't even know what this is. I know vicodin probably doesn't make you think this crazy, but in this story, we'll just say it does.
Thanks for reading!