Fandom: Transformers (Movie-verse)
Cast: Sam, All Spark
Prompt: lj tamingthemuse #345-Avulsion
Warnings: allusions to Sam/Bee
Disclaimer: I do not own Transformers and am making no money. The fandoms belong to their respective creators and owners who *are* making money off them. I'm just doing this for my own fun and entertainment; in general, if you recognize something, I don't own it.
Beta: NONE! Any mistakes are my own
Spoilers: First and Second movie, AU after that
Summary: Sam comes to realize how he got to where he is today
Sam had a vague idea that he was dreaming, but since it wasn't nightmares about the various fights with Decepticons over the past couple years or deaths, both final and not so final, of his Autobot friends, he was okay with it. At first everything was dark, like he was standing in a void, but then things gradually began to fill themselves in, a hazy blue sky overhead, grassland around him and a small river gurgling happily next to him. It was still abnormally still and quiet, no sounds of life other than that of the river, no insects or scurrying creatures or birds calling to one another, no wind blowing or heat from the vague idea of a sun he could see overhead. Just quiet. It was kind of creepy.
Looking around, and not seeing any other landmarks than the river next to him, he decided to follow the flowing water to see where it led. He felt like he could have been walking forever…or maybe just a couple of minutes. With no way to mark the passage of time and knowing it was a dream, time seemed kind of irrelevant. He watched as the river grew still in some places, the surface as smooth as glass…and about as boring, others where it flowed and splashed in a way that made laughter bubble up from him just watching, and still others where the water was dark and violently rushing, waves crashing and spitting and threatening to spill over onto the banks. He wasn't sure what he thought about the fact that those dark, violent spots seemed to be coming in more regular intervals until the water had smoothed out into the happy, bubbling lightness he had seen earlier and he looked around to realize there was another channel to his other side that was dried up and completely empty.
Curious, and wasn't that always his downfall recently, he followed the empty channel back up to where it seemed to divert from the main river. He walked up to the very topmost point of the break between the two, knelt down with his hands braced on the bank of both channels, somehow reluctant to actually stick his hands into either, and wondered how the two had split, why had the water taken one path and not the other.
"Choices, young Samuel."
Sam stood and spun around quickly, looking for the source of the voice, a chill creeping down his spine as he realized he was still alone in the unnatural landscape. "Hello? Who's there? I know this is a dream, so you're probably just a product of my imagination, but still…"
"You are right. And also wrong."
Sam jumped, hand covering his heart, feeling it race, as a silvery protoform suddenly appeared before him, slightly larger than human sized. He looked over the mech suspiciously, trying to spot some kind of identifying mark when it finally dawned on him that the mech's optics, instead of red or blue, were glowing gold. "Wh-what are you?" The mech smiled warmly, and Sam reflected on how only in his crazy life could somebody deduce that a robotic smile was friendly.
"You know what I am, Samuel. You have carried part of me with you for several years now."
Sam puzzled over the words before his eyes grew wide, mouth trying to form words that he was too shocked to actually give voice to.
"Yes, I am the All Spark. Also perhaps one of your Earth gods. I simply Am." The mech gave a careless shrug as if completely unconcerned about the details. "Or rather, a version your mind is capable of interpreting."
"Holy…wow! Yeah…um, okay. So…what do you want with me? And what did you mean about being right and wrong?"
"You are right in that you are dreaming, wrong in that you have some control over what you are seeing. I am controlling your dreams for now. And in regards to your first question, you are seeing the result of choices, more specifically, your choices." The mech walked to the very topmost point of the split and gestured to the river moving steadily next to it. "This is your life as it is now." Pointing to the dried up river bed to its other side, it stared at Sam. "This is your life as it could have been."
A heavy hand fell on Sam's shoulder and began guiding him back down river. "Everything you have done in your life has been a choice, some make no difference in the grand scheme of your life, others, as you have seen, make all the difference in the world. You chose to put your grandfather's glasses up for sale on your human computer, you then also refused to give them to a side you deemed to be 'evil.' You decided to align yourselves with those beings you perceived as being 'good,' risked your life numerous times in order to save those same beings. You have lost much, but also gained much in the process. Each of those choices, however small at the time, led to the course of your life diverting from what it could have been, though if my child had his way, it very well may have been much shorter."
The mech pointed to the dry channel where it seemed to have simply evened out into the smooth grassland around it and Sam realized exactly how little distance they had covered from where the two channels had split and tried to stop himself from having a mini panic attack. He could have died that soon. Never have really gotten to know the Autobots or the NEST soldiers or 'Kayla. Never met Bee.
The steady hand on his shoulder urged him forward, next to the steadily running water, bringing him some measure of peace as he realized that it was his life continuing, moving, sometimes happily, sometimes in complete boredom, and so many times in that violent, angry… "That's where I was fighting…running…the battles…"
The mech seemed to understand what he was trying to say. "Yes, those spots are where your life was in peril, so many times you have come close to losing your hold on it. And one time where you did.
Sam looked down at the spot where they had stopped, looking at the completely illogical sight of the rushing river trickling down to nothing only to spring back once more. He knelt at the river's edge, hand reaching out to hover over the small dry stretch as memories flooded back to him, swallowing hard, the protoform a comforting presence at his back. "Egypt…"
"Indeed. You died trying to save your friend and mentor. Your friends, with a little help, and a lot of willpower on your part, were able to bring you back. And now you stand balanced at another choice."
Sam's gaze followed where the mech's hand was pointing and started to blush, an idea about what the mech meant coming to him. Standing, he made his way slowly to where the river, and the entire landscape, seemed to fade into mist. The water was once again bubbling happily, though some of the water seemed to be overflowing in one spot, wearing down the ground so that a small trickle began to flow in another direction. That's what all those spots where the water looks like it's starting to overflow are – points in time that I had a choice to make but I never let myself choose anything other than the path I was on. He looked at the small trickle of water, and though the water was moving, it seemed as smooth and boring as the spots earlier in his life and his gaze couldn't help but to return to the happily bubbling area ahead of him. It wouldn't necessarily stay boring if I took this path; I could find this kind of happiness again. But…
The hand on his shoulder tightened, gaining his attention. "Love is a precious thing, Samuel. Very few truly find it and it should not be thrown away easily. It is a gift to be cherished and nourished in whatever form it takes. There will be hardships to face, but anything worth having is worth fighting for, yes?"
Sam heard the words, felt the warmth of them wrap around him and hovered his hand out over the happily bubbling water, one single face appearing in his mind and realized he'd already made his decision.
Sam woke up with a start, the sun's first early rays barely making it through the closed curtains of his room. Looking around at his empty bed and the almost cold, lonely room he was in, he quickly rolled out of bed, ignoring his PJs as he made his way through the small apartment he was given on the base in only his boxers. Reaching the open door to the garage type area where a bright yellow Camaro was resting, he stepped slowly inside, stopping only as a young man appeared in front of him, blonde hair spilling messily over bright blue eyes.
Sam hesitated only a moment before taking the extra step further to bring their bodies almost into contact, hand raising to rest against the blonde's cheek. Sam looked into the holoform's eyes, knowing the mech controlling it could see all of his reactions. "I'm sorry I freaked last night. I…I love you too, Bee."
Neither of the two participants noticed the warm golden glow that surrounded them as they kissed for the first time.