Hello, I've been on this site since 2009 and this is the first thing I wrote EVER, please be nice although I'll probably never write anything ever again please don't be mean.
Disclaimer: Not so much SM. She is a millionaire. Also I'm not a member of Lady Antebellum.
So on with it enjoy.
Dancing Away With My Heart
Hello, my name is Isabella (Bella) Marie Swan, its summer 2001 and I am 18 years old and this is my story.
I had known Edward Cullen my entire life and by the age of 6 we had become inseparable, We did everything together, Birthday's, sleep over's, family holidays you name it we did it together, It was the summer before my 16th Birthday that I first realized my feeling for Edward could be more than just best friends. As luck would have it he'd been feeling the same way for a while too which made us more inseparable than ever. After a year together life was good, we were happy (did we fight? Of course come on no one's perfect lol), we had celebrated Edwards 18th Birthday with a party and we were looking forward to graduation although we were going to different Collages I was staying in Washington going to U of W, Edward was going to Dartmouth in Hanover we knew we'd be fine we could make it work …..Or so we thought. The summer after graduation it was our time to have fun, to be free and celebrate and we did with our friends, first was prom I worn a beautiful Blue dress Edward worn a black tux with black shirt and a blue cummerbund which matched my dress perfectly, we danced the night away with our friends and afterwards the after party was held at First beach in La Push, there was a bonfire, fireworks and drinks mostly non alcoholic but some people had brought Alcohol all in all it was an amazing ending of high school.
As the night wound down people started to leave, some going home, some to hotels which is where Edward and I were heading, see Edward had been my first Boyfriend,(and I his first girlfriend), my first kiss,(He had kissed a girl named Tanya on one of our family holidays way back when we were fifteen) we had both been our first over the cloths feel up and we were both our first time making love, it had been fumbled, with neither of us knowing what we were doing but we managed and although it was uncomfortable for me and I had not cum it was still Good because it had been us together and that is what had counted. After that first time things got better and better and tonight we were going to have a hotel room so no worries of interruption or hurried quickies in case we were caught, we would have all night so we were going to take it slow, and we did.
Following prom came our annually families holiday this would be the last one being the age we were, it was decided only the Rent's would go on them after this unless we really wanted to go along with them, the decision they said would be ours as long as we gave them this one, we went to Cancun it was amazing and a wonderful way to say "Goodbye High School, Hello the rest of our lives" we just did not know that by the end of that summer our lives would change as much as they did.
The final week in Forks was spent packing everything we would be taking with us to college, I'd packed my books, cloths, picture's and my most treasured keepsake's out of the million Edward had given me not only in the 2 years we'd been dating but our entire friendship there was to many to pack so choosing the most treasured had been hard, I'd gone with the sweatshirt he had given me at the age of fourteen after I spilt soda on mine, the small teddy he'd won me our first official date and the charm bracelet he'd given me our first Valentine's day as a real couple it was sad to box and store the rest but it had to be done.
My last night in Forks was quiet, how I'd wanted it, just Me, my Parents Renee & Charlie and Edward I'd already said my goodbyes to Esme & Carlisle and to my friends, we ordered pizza watched a movie and chatted some, it was just what I needed for a final night before everything I knew changed. Edward and I decided NOT to say goodbye but see you soon, as for us the only thing to change was not seeing each other every day, nothing else would we'd still be together, so I told him that night that "I loved him" and that I would "see him in four weeks" I left early the next morning.
(****SMALL TIME JUMP****)
U of W had been busy but amazing I'd been here three weeks so far I spoke to Edward on the phone or Skype every night he was settled in at Dartmouth he'd been there 2 weeks so far and had made some friends, I'd met some new people, a girl named Victoria though she preferred Vic or Vikki, she has this fire red hair and a fiery temper to go with it but she was an amazing friend, also Bree she was quiet like me but we all seemed to get on and we always had fun and even though we were apart we were having a blast. I joined a band, it was entirely by accident.
I was sitting minding my own when this guy sat down beside me, at first I was a little freaked out he introduced himself as James to which my reply was "I have a boyfriend" he barked out a laughed and said "good for you, I have a girlfriend, now hear me out" I was weary but thought no point in not at least hearing what he had to say, he went on to tell me him, his girlfriend and a few other guys where trying to start a band just to have fun, relax and to hangout but they needed a singer and over the last week he'd heard me either humming or singing to myself and wondered if I was interested in joining? He said that if I was to turn up at the gym block on Friday at 5pm and see what it was all about. Still feeling like he was laying a line on me I thought about it all week then asked Bree to join me in checking it out, safety in numbers right? Turns out he was on the up and up, that is where I met Vikki, she is James' girlfriend and the rest they say is history.
(End flash back)
The week few by and one more day Edward would be here I could not wait I missed him so much it hurt at times not only the physical part of our relationship but mostly my best friend, because he had always been my best friend loooooong before he was ever my boyfriend. When Edward phoned that night I knew something was wrong and when he said he could not make it down tomorrow due to a heavy work load I was crushed, I understood where he was coming from, between my course work and the band I got it, he was working his ass off to become a Doctor and I knew how much work he had to put in, he was upset about not coming and I could not have that so I pushed aside my pain and focused on making him feel better and by 11pm that night after three hours of talking I think I succeeded, after hanging up with an "I love you" and "see you at Thanksgiving" I showered and finally broke down crying my self to sleep.
Time seemed to fly by and as fate intervened again I could not make it home for thanksgiving, the band had been asked to preform at a thanksgiving party being held by some students parents after she'd heard us playing in the gym by chance one day she told he family and after coming to hear us and booked us, how can you say no to $1000.00 making $200.00 each when you're a college student you can't, while I was sad NOT to be going home to see my family and friend and heartbroken to not be seeing Edward but I was also hyped up at getting to perform in front of an audience, Edward understood when I Skype'd to let him know, He said he was proud of me, and wished he could come to Seattle and see me but he only had 2 days break and could not make it home and to me as well. I could see it in his face that he was proud and wishing he could come to me, we talked most of the night away and with a yawn and an "I love you" we logged off. I cried myself to sleep that night too.
The gig had been fantastic, it got us more booking's and things picked up, as weeks passed the texts, phone calls and Skype-ing slowed down between Edward and I, life just got in the way, by the 6 month mark of being in school our correspondence was next to nothing, a text here or a email there, it was no-one's doing it just WAS. It hurt and I spent a lot of time wondering what I did wrong, could I of tried harder? Could Edward? But with school, the band, and life something had to give and it seemed that something was mine and Edward's relationship. I missed him there was no getting away from that fact he was not only my boyfriend but most of all he was my best friend, all though I had Vikki, Bree, James, Paul, and Jared I still missed Edward after all correspondence between Edward and I stopped, things between Jared and I changed not long after that Jared had broken up with his long term girlfriend Kim around the same time after she cheated on him, we'd started to talk about our failed relationships and how at least he had some form of closure with Kim, I had none with Edward, it was almost as if he had just fallen off the end of the world, there was no talking or ending it, it was just done, there had been no big show down or talk it just was, Jared suggested I should either text, phone or email him and find out one way or another what the hell was going on, so I did later that night I pulled on my big girl panties and dialed the number I knew better than my own, to my surprise I receive the message about this number not being in use any longer, I was livered, almost 14 years we'd been best friends and almost 20 years of knowing each other yet I was not good enough to be informed of his new number, angrily I pulled up my email and started to email him, I told him I'd tried to call him for some answers to how things had getting like this between us and had received the no longer in use message and how much I missed my best friend it was short but to the point hitting send, in seconds it was returned unsent stating the email address did not exist, at this point I was devastated I cried till I was cried out, maybe I could have tried harder for us but it seemed Edward had not been trying at all and I felt I had my answers :[ the following day at band rehearsals during one of our breaks Jared asked me how it went, so I told him at which point I was in tears again hugging me he told me it would be ok, I wanted to believe him and I knew I could get in touch with Edward if I really wanted to but why should I? I'm not the one who changed her phone number or email with no warning (was I being bratty? Probably) that was all him and I had tried to contact him why should I try harder? When practice was finished Jared asked me to hang back to talk and I did, talking things through with someone who'd recently ended a long term relationship help, he told me that writing about his relationship with Kim help him get the most closure and I should give it a try, so that night in my dorm that's what I did, slowly I began to think of our time together and in particular that last summer together and as I put pen to paper it just flowed…
(I finally asked you to dance on the last slow song
Beneath the moon which was really a disco ball
I can still feel my head on your shoulder
And I hoped the song would never be over).
And I had that night I prayed we'd never part that by going to different school's it would not affect us but I think somewhere deep down I knew things were going to change, I just never knew how much.
When i had done writing my feelings i had showed them to Jared he was so impressed not at my hurt or pain but at my writing and said there would make a great song, he asked if he could look them over said he had a few ideas on how to make it happen to which i gave him my blessing. After a week he gave them back I loved what he'd done, writing from a guy's propective he'd made it a duet, each gig we performed at we played that song and over the course of 6 months I received my closure Jared and I became fast friends and when I was ready to try a new relationship I did and Jared was there, we became a couple and we were good, a little under 1 years and 6 months after Edward and I split and after 6 months with Jared I told him I loved him to which he replied he loved me to it was perfect. The remaining two years of school flew by much the same as the first two, school, band, gigs only now I was with Jared and happier than I'd been in a long time it was the night before graduation the gang(Bree, her boyfriend Riley, Paul, his new girlfriend Rachel, Vikki and her fiancé James and myself and Jared)were out for dinner and the drinks where flowing and the jokes where flying it was a typical group night out when Jared dropped to one knee and popped the question, I was shocked had not been expecting it but I was happy none the less the "yes" was out my mouth before I think he finished asking the question, the ring was beautiful not small but not to big either it was just me, he got me he always had, I thought of Edward from time to time, I'd heard by chance about a year ago that he was seeing someone on his course and he was happy, I was happy for him it had been almost three and a half years since I'd last heard from Edward since the failed phone call and email, but I was glad he was happy.
(****TIME JUMP 2013****)
Graduated high school 2001
Graduated College 2005
Things had been good since we left college Jared was teaching Math and I was teaching English we had decided that this year was the year to take some time off and finally get married it had been crazy, the band was still going strong and we had a wedding we were playing this weekend in Seattle we could not wait because straight after that Jared and I were going away to Las Vegas the gang, my parents and Jared's where meeting us there next weekend to watch us marry but first we had the week to ourselves it was going to be epic.
Saturday came and we were setting up in the ballroom, it was huge whoever was getting married must be loaded and have a mountain of family and friends to fill this place crazy. We had done our sound check and where sitting in the back room waiting for the guests to arrive, while talking I heard Vic and James mention something about first dance and that the new Cullen's had chosen "everything I do, I do it for you" by Brian Adams and James was not happy about having to sing it, but what threw me was not the song but the name Cullen, stopping V&J from talking I asked them to repeat what they had just said and again when Vic said Cullen I froze, it could not be him could it? But Cullen was not a very popular name, so I asked them if they knew the couple's first names James said Mrs. and Mr. Edward Cullen my reply was "fuck" asking what was wrong I told them I was going to see Edward for the first time in 12 years at his wedding, could fate be anymore cruel? Taking a look a Jared he looked upset, I soon realized why he thought I was upset he thought i was sad that Edward was getting married I promised him it was not that, it was I was scared to see my former best friend for the first time in 12 years not because I wanted him back just because it was going to be really uncomfortable, cause not only will there be him but his family and probably or old mutual friends from high school to and seen none of them since leaving for U of W. Jared was his normal self after that and told me everything was going to be fine and he would not leave my side if I did not want him to. It was time to go on soon the meal and cake cutting had taken place the bouquet and garter toss had been done I watch it all from my hiding spot and Edward had not changed, his hair little shorter, he'd filled out a little but otherwise he looked the same as the day we said "see you soon" all those years ago, he looked happy and as I looked at him and his bride I think I finally let go of the last little bit of doubt that I should have tried harder with him all those years before, I still missed my best friend, out of everything that happened, I wish we could have saved at least that part of US. I was lucky the bride and groom had picked most of the songs by male artists and James and Jared where getting a good work out and I could hide in the back, I wanted to speak to Edward but it was his wedding day and I did not want anything to spoil it for him and for all I knew me being here could do that.
Towards the end of the night I had gone to the bathroom when I ran straight in to Esme, to say she was shocked would be an understatement, after hugging me for what felt like forever but was really only minuets she asked what I was doing there, I told her I was in the band she could not believe she had not known before now, we chatted for a short while till I told her I was needed on stage and i left, taking my spot at the back the band kick off again but this time I saw Edward looking on stage for something/someone and I knew that someone was me, he'd spoken to his mom and she must have told him. The set ended and we were leaving the stage when my name was called, I would know THAT voice anywhere, Edward, taking a deep breath and a hand squeeze from Jared I turned only to be pulled in to a really tight hug so tight I could almost not breathe when Edward let go we just looked at each other for the longest time not saying a word, breaking the silence I said "hello Edward and congratulation" all he said was "thank you". After a few more minutes of painful silence he asked if we could go somewhere to talk looking over at Jared who gave me a head nod of understanding I let Edward lead me to a small room not far from where we had just been. The silence was deafening in the small room and again I broke the silence, "what happened Edward" that was all he needed because is "I don't know, life got busy and making time to text, email or Skype just never seemed to happen, before I knew it had been 3 months and a few texts and then I just did not know what to say or do to make it better" then he was silent, "I know same for me, there just never seemed time to talk I had so much going on, school, band, the friends that where there with me that you became surplus to requirements and I had not even realized it was happening, but I missed my best friend everyday" I said, looking at me he seem so lost yet seemed to agree with what I had said, nodding he said "I've missed my best friend to" a single tear slipped from my eye at his words and the next second he had me in his arms like he always did when I was sad shushing me telling me it was ok he was here and he was not going anywhere, after a little more talking we agreed that after his honeymoon we would meet up and talk everything out and see if we could at least get our "best friend" back, after swapping numbers and telling him I had to get back on stage we parted, and I hope he followed through because I REALLY did miss my best friend.
Back on stage after a few more requests, I pulled the guy's and Vikki together and told them I wanted to sing my song, Jared thought it was an amazing idea and said I would finally get my closure and maybe Edward would too so the guy's all agreed. Standing on the front of the stage I looked out into the dance floor and spotted Edward talking to his parents, " hello" I said "now I'm going to sing a song I wrote 10 years ago as my good bye to my first love, he also happened to be my bestfriend I wrote this as a form of closure and as he's here tonight he finally gets to hear it and maybe he finally gets his too, so Edward this one's for you, I love you and congratulation this is Dancing away with my Heart" with a smile and a deep breath the guys started the intro…
"I finally asked you to dance on the last slow song Beneath that moon that was really a disco ball I can still feel my head on your shoulder And hoping that song would never be over
I haven't seen you in ages Sometimes I find myself wondering where you are
for me you'll always be eighteen and beautiful and dancing away with my heart.
I brushed your curls back so I could see your eyes and the way you moved me was like you were reading my mind
I can still feel you lean in to kiss me I can't help but wonder if you ever miss me
I haven't seen you in ages Sometimes I find myself wondering where you are
For me you'll always be eighteen and beautiful and dancing away with my heart.
You headed off to college at the end of that summer and we lost touch I guess I didn't realize even at the moment we lost so much
I haven't seen you in ages Sometimes I find myself wondering where you are for me you'll always be eighteen and beautiful And dancing away with my heart.
Nah nah nah nah (x3)
Away with my heart
Nah nah nah nah (x3)
As the tears feel from my eyes a saw Edward was crying to, with one last smile and a single wave we left the stage.
Edward did call when his honeymoon ended we met and talked everything through, there were more tears and some shouting but in the end we agree that the biggest loss for us both was not our relationship though that had hurt but it was the friendship we'd had since we were 6 years old and if we could get that back everything would be good.