I huddled up fearfully against a tree trunk, my eyes wide with terror as the footsteps came closer, and a lengthy, pale nose came out of the thicket. Steely blue eyes met my dark ones, and the person hopped away, drawing a knife as he shouted, "You! You're one of those monsters!"
"No, I'm not! Please, put the knife down," I squealed quickly, my hands shooting up as I added, "I got turned into an .EXE, but it's okay, I won't hurt you."
The person looked at me sideways, as if trying to understand my words, or make sure I was telling the truth. He stepped forth, into the moonlight, and my suspicions were confirmed.
Snively Robotnik, the nephew of Dr. Robotnik AKA Eggman nowadays, only seen in the old SatAM cartoons and the Archie comics series. He was going to appear in a game years before I was born, called Sonic Mars, but the project got cancelled, everything with it.
And yet here the sprite stood, looking rather clean and professional, probably for a new system. Though, I did notice, whenever he took a step, sometimes his appearance would become pixelated or blocky, like the graphics for the system the game was originally made for.
"How…?" I began as he stared at me incredulously, asking, "Who are you?"
"My name is Kirsten, Kirsten Scholtes," I replied slowly, my last name sounding so hollow now, seeing as everyone saw my name as "Baggins".
"I was a human, and I got dragged into this world by-"
"Frodo .EXE?" He squeaked, and I nodded. Again, I said, "How…?"
Snively gave a very small sigh and slumped down in front of the tree before me, and stared at his knife as he began:
"I remember it fairly well: With the popularity of that cartoon, the game was already in production, the demo released, the music recorded, sprites and motions designed, everything. It was nice, seeing as I was a fairly important boss to fight.
But then there was that fire…it tore through the files like some kind of monster…it wrecked the Project Needlemouse…"
I remembered reading this tale on the SEGA website ages ago, but said nothing as Snively continued speaking:
"During the fire, all of us sprites sort of…woke up, I suppose. We felt the heat, and knew automatically that it wasn't good and that we should escape immediately. We all stuck together, hurrying away from the flaming files when we ran afoul of that monster. He carried an axe and a sword, and gave a grin, oh God, that grin…it told us that he was not there to set us free.
He then got to work, moving lightning fast, chopping the hedgehog and all of his friends into mincemeat. Dr. Robotnik and I were able to escape the carnage, and for a while, we were lost on the computer monitors, hiding for what seems like ages now. Our clothes were covered in pixelated blood, we simply smelled of death. I felt as though it was the end.
But then, suddenly…the monster started building things: He killed more people, but then started rebuilding his own world-"
"Middle-Earth .AVI," I interrupted. "You're in it right now."
"Exactly," Snively sighed, looking around in the darkness. "We knew we wouldn't be welcome in this world, so we tried to fend for ourselves out here, but the only thing we ever caught was this scrawny little beast missing just as much hair as I was. He was screaming something about a 'precious', and he was chewing on a pair of eyes."
A shock wave rolled down my spine as I whispered hoarsely, "…Gollum…?"
"That was what he kept saying," Snively sighed, shrugging. "We didn't care who he was, so the doctor had me kill him and cook him. I wasn't permitted to eat, just watch that fat bastard sink his teeth in the little mongrel."
It all seemed to make sense now: Gollum attacked Gimli and took his eyes, then ran into the forest and ran into Robotnik and Snively, and met an end far worse than falling into a volcano.
"Once Robotnik had eaten him, he was still hungry, of course. I hunted for a few hours, but I found nothing, not a single animal. Well…this didn't please the good doctor, but to him, I was looking like a rather tasty dish right about then."
"Let me guess: He attacked you."
"Yes. Tried to suffocate me underneath that girth of his. Almost did too, if I didn't have my knife on me. I stuck it in his fat belly and let his entrails spill out all over the ground. I do have to say, he did a good job of filling me up."
"You cannibalized your own uncle?" I almost screamed, covering my mouth: Sure, Robotnik was a monster who wanted to roboticize everything and treated his own nephew like shit, but to be killed and eaten? God help me.
"What'd you think I was going to do, let him kill me? It's survival of the fittest, my dear," He snarled, glaring at me as I stood up a little too quickly, wobbling on my injured leg. "Look, I'm sorry, but I've been spending the last few years more than likely cooped up in a bedroom and treated like a toy almost every night I can remember! I produced a child to the creature who burned Needlemouse, and I'm gonna produce another one!"
The lightbulb finally went off for Snively, who noticed my rounded belly. "He…?"
"Yes," I sighed, calming down and touching my stomach almost unconsciously. "Not that I wanted to be a part of such things."
Snively opened his mouth to say something, but he was cut off by the sounds of heavy footsteps and shouting voices. The smell of kerosene was in the air, and I could see the lanterns in the distance, closing in fast as swords and other weaponry was waved around in the night sky. The shouts were this:
"FIND MY QUEEN! RESCUE HER FROM WHATEVER MONGREL HAS TAKEN HER FROM ME! I WILL HAVE HIS HEAD ON MY LAWN BY TOMORROW MORNING!"
I winced and shrunk down in my spot.
King Frodo wanted his queen back.