Opening!

Me: I'm back, my lovely readers, to once again destroy your happy childhood memories! ^_^

Ivan: And I will be helping, Da?

Me: Yes. Yes you will. Ladies and Gentlemen and Fangirls, meet my villain and glomp victim, Russia!

Ivan: Pleased to be meeting you. I am sure you will love this story or be destroyed for flaming it… ^J^

Me: Nice. On with this mad plotline! Hercules: Hetalia Edition.

I own nothing sadly…


Those Muses are My Muses… -_-;

A dark room lightens to reveal an impressive collection of vases plates and statues from the lost times of Ancient Greece. And her son himself actually begins to speak, in a slow and sleepy tone.

"Long ago in far away lands of Ancient Greece, there was a golden age of powerful gods, and extraordinary heroes. And the greatest and strongest of all these heroes was Alfred. But what is really the measure of a true hero? Well, that is what our story is ab-"

"Aiyah! Will you listen to him? Aru~" Upon closer inspection the man sees a vase with its painted figures moving. The one whom interrupted him was a fairly tall Asian with a short ponytail hanging over his shoulder. "You are making story sound like tired tragedy!"

"Hai, it might be best to let us continue from here, Narrator-San." Said another man. He had deep brown eyes and short black hair.

"Well… Okay, why not?"

The tallest cleared his throat and they all bowed at the waist. "We are the muses. Aru~ Gods and Goddesses of the Arts and proclaimers of heroes!"

"Heroes like Alfred-san."

"Oh yeah, and didn't he have a steamy little story?" A woman with long brown hair interjected.

"Miss Elizabeta, please."

"Don't twist the tale until we actually get to that part." A teenage seeming muse added. She had short, spiked, brown-blonde hair and was the only one not wearing white. Her robes were deep blue and her eyes were hazel.

(A.N. Everyone, meet Diana aka Tasmania, she's my O.C. Please, just bare with me, I needed at least five Muses!)

"It is true, though." Said another girl with brown hair and pigtails. She and Elizabeta giggled.

"Michelle! Do not encourage her! Aru~" The taller man frowned.

"Sorry, sorry. Of course, our story actually begins long before Alfred, many eons ago." They jumped free of their painting and started to sing, the other pottery moved to simulate the story.

"Back when the world was new! The planet earth was down on its luck. And everywhere gigantic brutes called Titans ran amuck!" Diana started.

"It was a nasty place! It was a mess where ever you stepped!" Yao sang.

"Where chaos reigned and earthquakes and volcanoes never slept!"

They all joined in. "But then along came Swe."

"He hurled his thunderbolt!" Elizabeta cried.

"He zapped!"

"Locked those freaks into a vault!" Diana cheered.

"They're trapped!"

"And on his own stopped chaos in its tracks! And that's the gospel truth! The guy was too type A to just relax!"

Elizabeta, Michelle, and Kiku finished. "And that's the world's first dish!"

"Swe tamed the globe while still in his youth!" Diana explained via tune.

"And honey, it may seem impossible, but that's the gospel truth!"

"On Mount Olympus life was neat and smooth and sweet, vermouth. Oh though honey it may seem impossible, that's the gospel truth!"


A vase forms into a real setting of a great mountain that stretched high into the clouds. A magnificent palace sat atop it. This was Olympus, home of the Gods.

A great gathering was taking place to celebrate a new birth. Gods of every kind were gathered to give gifts and party! And at the very center stood a short male with blonde hair and brown eyes named Tino. He was watching over a little baby godling with blue eyes and hair like his. "Shush, Alfred." The baby pulled Tino's small crown from his head. "Oh, behave yourself!" He scolded lightly, taking back the crown and replacing it on his head.

An intimidating man stepped up behind the smaller and the baby just giggled. "He's pretty cute." Tino jumped and turned around.

"Ugh, Berwald I really wish you wouldn't do that!" The stern looking man smiled somewhat and wrapped his arm around the other.

"S'ry." Tino relented from the muttered apology and turned back to their son, whom was reaching for one of Swe's thunderbolts.

He tried to move away so that Alfred couldn't reach, but didn't get far with Swe's hold on him. "Dear? Please keep those away from the baby." He informed nervously. It was a bit too late as Alfred snatched one and tried to chew on it, getting a shock.

With an irritated cry he flung the bolt across the room where it narrowly missed many of the guests and was finally knocked into a podium by the Goddess of Wisdom's sword. A blonde haired woman with glasses and copper eyes. (A.N. Another self insert? Whatever do you me- *Bricked.*) The pillar immediately reformed.

"Woo! Like, quite a spark the kid's got!" The God of the crossroads, Felix, flew over to the couple and presented a bouquet.

"Oh, they're beautiful!" Tino exclaimed. He put Alfred down in his cradle and sniffed the flowers.

"Yep, I arranged them myself!" The male did a dramatic bow.

Berwald chuckled, patting his son's head. "On behalf of m' son, I want to thank you all for your wonderful gifts."

"What about our gift, dear?" Tino reminded.

"Ah, yes." Berwald grabbed a mix of passing clouds and bent them into a complicated shape of a horse with wings. He presented this too his son. Alfred curiously prodded the head shape and the cloud around it poofed away leaving an actual young colt's face. The little thing snorted lightly and then stood up shaking away the rest of the clouds. "His name, is Pegasus, and he's all yours son." The winged horse stepped off Swe's hands and nearly fell before his wings started fluttering.

The little baby grabbed the colt's ears and head butted him. After a brief moment of dizziness the young Pegasus whinnied playfully and returned the favor with a lick. Then the two hugged to the wide 'Aww' moments of the surrounding gods.

Tino tucked the boy into his cradle. "My darling little boy." He cooed while stroking his hair.

An icy chuckle floated over and shattered the serenity. "How sentimental."

All the gods looked over to a shadowed pillar with a tall figure leaning against it. The god was wearing a heavy coat, scarf, and an unsettling smile. "I haven't been this choked up since Natalyia tried to drag me down stairs by my scarf." The others sent him a reproachful look.

The man rolled his eyes and strolled over to the cradle. "What is this, an audience or a mausoleum?" Felix, in a commonly fearless cheerful attitude, threw an arm around him.

"So, Ivan, you finally made it? How are things in the basement?"

Ivan's left eye twitched somewhat and he shrugged off the messenger god's hand. "Oh, they're just fine! You know, a little dark, a little gloomy, and as always full of dead people! What are you gonna do though?" His grin became remarkably sarcastic. Searching around his gaze landed on the godling and he slid over with a fake happy tone. "Aww, there's the little sunspot! How cute."

Ivan waved his hand and smoke trailed from his fingers before forming into a spiked skull pacifier. "And here is a sucker for the little sucker. There you go baby." He tried to pop it in Alfred's mouth, but the child grabbed onto his finger instead, partially crushing it. "Hmm, powerful little tyke." The lord of the underworld nonchalantly pulled his hand away and dropped the sucker in the cradle. He hid the pain rather well.

Another God by the name of Mathias nudged the taller in the elbow. "Come on Ivan, don't be such a stiff! Join the celebration!" He took a gulp of the beer in his hand.

The lord of the dead frowned again. "Oh, trust me I'd love to, but unlike you Gods lounging about up here, I regrettably have a full time gig. That you, by the way, so kindly bestowed on me, Berwald." He shot the king a glare. "Sooooo… Can't. Love to, but can't."

Felix started to laugh. "Ha! Slow down, Ivan! You'll work yourself to death!" Several of the other more inebriated Gods burst into laughter as well. "Heh, I kill myself!"

Ivan turned and stalked away muttering under his breath. "Haha. If only. If only…"


Me: And there you have it folks! Before you ask, yes, I am using Swe as Berwald's nickname so please note that when I use either I am talking about the same character.

Ivan: Hurry up and write more, I want to see the underworld.

Me: I will soon! I just need a little help. Guys I still am not 100% sure whom to write as the Fates or Pain and Panic. Any ideas? I can't write the scene without them!

Ivan: Read, Review, and Respond.

Ja nee~

RR7