A/N: Just got done re-watching Oz the Great and Powerful! Great movie! Excellent movie! And yet, despite the blockbuster that it was, I couldn't help but feel bad for the wicked witch, aka Theodora, and what happened to her. Don't get me wrong, Mila Kunis portrayed her role marvelously but I was pissed to high HELL at how easily her character was jilted by circumstances beyond her control. I won't spoil it for you, but I wanted to tear the head off of a certain witch. If you've seen the movie, then you'll know what I mean
And thus, a littlecrossover idea was born. Be patient with me here! I'm reconstructing this mostly from memory and even I cannot hope to prefectly produce every line in its entirety. That being said, if by some chance you haven't been to see Oz, be sure to see it! I was going to leave this as a oneshot but since everyones been begging me to continue...
Remember, I own nothing! I'm still purging fics here folks, and I'm town to almost half of what I used to have. Don't worry, the best ones will still be kept!
And with that, I hope you enjoy the return of...
... A Sage in Oz!
"So...somebody's a bitch!"
Love a Witch
Theodora was a cuddler.
Naruto realized this the moment he woke the next morning, tangled up in her arms. Painfully aware of what he'd done last night he lay there, blinking away the cobwebs. Well, I really should have seen that coming. He was no stranger to intimacy or the fairer sex, Naruto wasn't, but he still hadn't expected to outright sleep with the first woman he'd met in this strange new world. The grass was still cool against his skin in the grove. A sharpened shard of sunlight stabbed into his eyes through the trees, causing him to turn...
Unfortunately for him, doing so wedged his head firmly between a pair of bountiful breasts.
To his disbelief, he was actually trapped.
Theodora had a good, solid grip on him, and she seemed quite keen on not letting go. Soft. It was a shameful thought, but they really were. Despite being a good head taller than the red witch, Theodora had somehow maneuvered herself into this incredibly awkward position. It was certainly something no man would fault him for but the blond couldn't help but to feel flustered. He remembered kissing these very breasts only just last night, among other things. He was simultaneously both embarrassed, aroused, and many, many, MANY, other things that he didn't want to talk about!
With his luck, she was probably going to wake up any second now...
A soft yawn answered that inquiry and in that brief moment of inattention, he wriggled free.
"Oh. Good morning, Wizard," she hummed, looking up at him. "Did you sleep well?"
His entire body went rigid as her mouth met his cheek.
Don't. Mention. The. Breasts.
"It was a very, erm, bountiful sleep." his foot flew right into his mouth before he could stop it. Curses!
The witch laughed, nuzzling her cheek into the crook of his neck. "You're a good man, Wizard."
"I told you, I'm a Sage-mmph."
She kissed him again, moaning softly when his tongue instinctively sought hers.
It took a long moment for Naruto's brain to restart, after that lip-lock. Her mouth was gentle and shy against his, tentative, but earnest all the same. It was the kind of kiss you could only dream of; the one you woke up from and wept for not having experienced. But this was no dream he knew, and, before long, he found himself starting to move against her. This world -Theodora!- was painfully real, whether he liked it or not. Although at the moment, he was leaning toward like.
"So, we should probably get dressed." he muttered.
Those slim arms tightened around him.
...you're not going to let me get up, are you?"
The witch giggled happily, her mouth molding against his once more.
(Many hours later...)
"So...you're rather nice, for a witch." Naruto wondered aloud.
"I suppose I am."
Later, as they walked down the road, framed by a field of flowers, he couldn't help but wonder at that. Everything seemed so simple with Theodora. He didn't have to worry about his lack of regeneration-seeing as she was ever so kind enough to always patch him up!-didn't have to fear for his world. Of course, that anxiety was still present, but with her it was muted, somehow. The absence of Kurama still pained him keenly, yet the once fierce sorrow was nothing more than a dull ache when he was with the strange scarlet witch.
"Here I thought I'd live a lonely life...and then you showed up."
"Yeah, I tend to have a knack for popping up in places I don't belong." Naruto muttered to himself, but the words were without weak, and without rancor. How could you possibly hate this girl?! She was like a puppy! A sweet, adorable, sexy as hell puppy! The moe was strong with this one! She could've looked Obito in the eye, asked him to kindly not to rule the world, and he would've stopped! The thought made him chuckle, the fox might be well and truly gone, but at least he still held some semblance of his chakra...even if he couldn't regenerate anymore..
"Not only are you the Wizard-
"-Sage!-" Naruto corrected.
-but you're the person I belong with." she finished, gazing up at him adoringly.
Right in the feels.
Thedora couldn't have hurt him more if she'd conjured one of her fireballs. Just hearing those words crippled him. Humbled him. Here was a girl who had never known the embrace of another, never experienced what it was to love, to be loved, to have love. And she honestly thought she belonged with him-no, she wanted to be with him. Humbled didn't even begin to describe how he felt. Here was a woman willing to devote herself to him utterly, no strings attached, and he didn't know how to respond.
"If you'll have me." the words tumbled out of his lips before he could think to stop them, and Theodora's face lit up like a sunbeam.
"Oh! I was hoping you'd say that!" she squeezed his hand, preening. "I-
Whatever else she might've said perished on those full lips when face with that scream.
"Somebody help me!"
Theodora shot him a pleading glance.
"Fine, fine, I'll save the little guy...
As he drew closer, he realized that the little guy wasn't really a "guy" after all.
He was a monkey. A flying monkey. A flying monkey in a bellhop uniform. Well, he certainly didn't look anywhere near as menacing as the last one. In fact he looked rather pitiful, tangled up in those vines. Poor sod. He was in a right state, flailing about madly and shrieking at the top of his lungs.
"Oh, no no no!"
Alright, that settled it. He couldn't leave the little guy alone after something like that. The moment he saw Naruto, he only hollered even louder.
"Hey, mister! Get me outta here!"
"Relax, monkey." he drawled, palming a kunai, "I'll have you out in a bit." Humming softly, he began to expertly saw away the thick, prickly cords that held the poor creature down. Even then he kept thrashing about-as if his very life depended upon escaping this thorny prison as soon as he could.
"It's gonna eat me!"
"I very much doubt vines could do that even if they wanted to." came the deadpanned reply.
"Not the vines, the lion!" freeing his hand, he pointed.
"We're gonna die~!"
As if to echo that very thought, he heard the roar.
Swearing, the blond spun around, just in time to see the tawny blur of golden fur racing at him, fangs bared. Okay. Lion. Lion bad! Lion very bad! His body nearly froze up at the sight of the predator barreling towards him.
"Eat him first!" the monkey cried! "Eat him first!"
Naruto roared and waved a hand.
A small tornado ricocheted out of his palm and sent the beast sprawling, scrambling for its very life back from whence it had come. Odd. He hadn't expected the beast to be quite so cowardly...
"Well, that was easy?"
"That was wonderful, wizard!" Theodora gushed.
"For the LAST TIME I AM A SA-
One wizard/sage argument later, and the Emerald City certainly lived up to its name.
Great towering spires of green jutted up into the heavens, a sprawling expanse laid out along the yellow brick road. Wondrous couldn't even begin to describe it. A city made of pure emerald, glittering like a giant jewel in the light of the sun. Magnificent. As much as he was loathe to admit it, this city put Konoha to shame on appearances alone.
"It'll all be yours now." Theodora beamed.
Finley seemed of the same mind. "That's, ah, a big castle...
"You're going to make the best king Oz has ever known." she took off her hat and bowed her head demurely, "And I will be so proud to be your queen." Naruto's heart nearly leaped clean into his throat when faced with those words. Queen? Queen implied marriage. Oh boy.
Thedora giggled happily, squeezing his hand.
"We'll spend a lifetime together."
Naruto's mind was still stuck on the word queen. Again, having a queen meant marriage. Engagement. Rings! Weddings! And a wedding also implied...other things.
Things like children.
He had the sudden, startling image of dark-haired children with blue eyes throwing fireballs and tugging on his arms. Driving him crazy. Huh. The image was oddly endearing. Nowhere near as frightening as he thought it might be. Kids. Hmm. Maybe he could get used to that, someday...
...but not right now. He'd have to talk to her about that. Cool her enthusiasm a little.
"Well, I guess I shouldn't keep my adoring public waiting...
"So...that's a throne."
He really wasn't all that surprised to see that it was gold; most of the city was either that, or jade. It was a large seat made for man; hell, it even came with a scepter! Just think about ruling over so many people made him balk-that kind of responsibility was earned. You couldn't just have it thrown in your lap like that.
"Do you like it?"
Naruto glanced up at the sound of the new voice.
"I do so hope you like it, because I've been personally watching over it awaiting your arrival." A dark-haired, harried looking woman in glittering green hurried down the stairs to greet them, her eerie dark eyes seeming to skewer him despite the poisonous pleasantries that spewed from her lips. Something about just seemed, off. Like she was reading from a script.
"Praise be you are here at last and the prophecy shall be fulfilled. Oh, this is a glorious day for us all!"
"And you are?"
"This is my sister." Theodora whispered.
"I am Evanora, the royal adviser." the woman confirmed, nodding gravely. "I have been protecting the Emerald City whilst we awaited your arrival. I am here to serve you, Wizard, as I served the king before you." she bowed slightly upon finishing, eliciting a cringe from the blond.
"Please, don't bow."
"Respect is something that should be earned, and I've done nothing to earn yours." he replied smoothly. "Please, don't debase yourself on my account." For a moment, something ugly flashed in those dark eyes, a dark emotion he knew all too well. Disgust. But as swiftly as he'd seen the spark vanished, leaving him to his suspicions.
"Ahn, I'm pretty tired," he feigned a yawn. "You
"Knuck will show you to your chambers." Evanora offered. "We can talk later, Wizard."
"...I'm not even going to argue with you."
"Isn't he wonderful?" Theodora gushed at her sister as Naruto left the room. "Didn't I say he would come?"
Neither realized that the blond hadn't gone more than two steps from the doors once they'd closed.
He simply stood there, listening intently as the argument began.
"You dare escort that blond bufoon in here and...and allow him to climb on the hallowed throne?!" every word dripped with outrage and scorn, the facade she'd worked so hard to erect in the presence of the sage falling to a thousand pieces, shattering like glass.
"And why not?" Theodora argued, "He is the wizard! A sage, no less!"
"A sage...or so he says." her sister scoffed. "Did it not occur to you that he might be an impostor, in league with the wicked witch and sent here to kill us?"
"Wicked witch, don't be ridiculous."
"Oh, I'm not the one who's underestimating her cleverness."
A look of horror dawned on her face.
"Or maybe its you I'm underestimating. Have you finally joined her side, sister?"
"I am on no one's side, you know that. I only want peace, that's all I've ever wanted and the wizard can do that, he's a good man."
"What do you know about goodness?" Evanora spat back, "Deep down you are wicked."
"I am not wicked!"
Unbidden a fireball leapt from her hand, crashing into a vase in a fiery explosion.
"N-No, I didn't mean to...
"That temper, really is wasted on you."
Both witches nearly jumped clear out of their skin as the doors burst open, nearly tearing themselves from their hinges. Naruto burst back through the archway he'd exited only a moment before. His eyes were a fierce shade of scarlet, so unlike the kind sapphire to which Theodora had become acquainted the night before. His expression bordered on outright feral, those menacing orbs boring into her sibling as though she were nothing more than a piece of meat.
All in all, he looked well and truly angry, she thought.
"Alright, lets set a few things straight." The blond hissed, rolling up his sleeves, "First, I am not an oaf! Second, last time I checked, I didn't associate with any witches of the wicked persuasion, and third...well, I hate to tell you this Theodora, but your sister is a complete and total bitch! HOW THE HELL DO YOU PUT UP WITH HER?!"
He felt their eyes on him and coughed.
"What?" he shrugged. "Somebody had to say it. Did you really think I'd buy the ass-kissing act? You don't like me. I get it. Hell," the ninja drawled, cracking his neck, "I can even accept it. But don't take it out on your sister."
"I still don't believe it." Evanora huffed. "All I see-
Theodara saw the spark in the blond's eye a moment too late.
-is an impostor!"
It was the wrong thing to say.
"Oh, she wants to see some magic? Alright then. HOW'S THIS FOR MAGIC?!"
Before her very eyes Naruto's skin flashed an eerie saffron gold -his eyes a pair of bloody red crosses- as the chakra shroud formed around his flesh. That in and of itself was impressive. But what came next took all her misconceptions about this so-called "oaf" and tossed them out the window.
In the palm of his hand, a dull blue orb flickered. Still cradling it, he walked right up to royal seat, raised his arm-
"Chou. Odama. Rasengan."
-and brought it crashing down.
The whole word shook, the very palace threatening to shake itself apart beneath the sudden and savage attack. By the time the dust cleared, she saw what had been wrought. Of the mighty, gaudy throne she had been "protecting"-and secretly craving-there was now nothing more than a giant hole in the ground. And endless crater, stretching all the way into the very emerald itself.
Faced with such a sight, Evanora fainted dead away.
Naruto dusted off his hands, smiling benignly.
A/N: Well damn! Naruto's quite the charmer in this fic, isn't he? Having lost both Kurama, and the ability to heal from his wounds, he's feeling more than a bit vulnerable right now. All he has left of the old fox is the cloak, and all the abilities-bar healing-that come with it. That's going to play a pivotal role in this story! And what of Theodora's fate? Now that she's with someone who seems to genuinely care about her, might her fate turn out to be different than in the movie?
I wrote it simply because I felt bad for Theodora and the way she was taken advantage of. Again, if you have not bought the Oz movie, get your ass out there and buy it! Its well worth the price! That's all folks! I worked straight through the night on this story, so I would sincerely appreciate your feedback, whatever it might be! Hopefully it'll be positive...LOL
So, in the immortal words of Atlas...
...Review...would you kindly? And enjoy the preview! Somebody gets what's coming to them! WITH INTEREST! And thar be two this time!
"So, helluva temper you got there..."
Theodora felt her entire face darken as the Wizard-sage, she reminded herself-sat beside her. The bed creaked softly beneath their weight, but she paid it no mind, her attention was focused wholly on him; on his hand, curling within hers. Her anger was her greatest weakness, her greatest shame.
"You did hear it, then."
"Wanna talk about it?" he offered. "I've got a bit of a temper, too. Talking usually helps me out."
The pale ghost of a smile tugged at the corners of her mouth.
Theodora nodded slowly.
"I'd like that."
Evanora heard it, before she felt it.
A hiss, dark and feral, wholly unamused...
Naruto snapped his fingers.
...YOU DONE GOOFED!"
Evanora spun around, with a startled squawk as teeth closed around her collarbone. Dimly, she recalled his words. "You won't win. Even if I have to bite you to death." And bite he did, those deadly fangs ripping a huge piece of flesh from her shoulder; shearing it away as though her body were a wet, folded paper bag.
Gasping, clutching at the wound, she could only gawp.
"You?! But you're not...how did you...
"I am a humble and tolerant man," the sage began slowly, ignoring the blood squirting from the severed stump of his left arm, "But there are three things I cannot stand. One," His good hand opened slowly, revealing a keening sphere of the purest white. "When someone tries to manipulate the hell out of me. Two," As she looked on it grew larger, the edges spreading outward like a shuriken, "Idiots who think they can just do whatever they please, and lets not forget three...
...when someone tries to hurt my girl."
His arm arched back, ready to throw, and she blanched.
"No wait, don't-
Too late. Much too late.
"ROT IN HELL!"
That was the last thing Evanora heard before the Rasenshuriken snarled forward and ripped her body to atoms.